Monday morning and I was still reeling from the weekend. Pierce had held me so long and tight for what had felt like forever. I had hated to let him go but my friends had been waiting and I knew them. They would have soon shown up at the front door to see what we were doing. As I was completely flustered already, I hadn’t wanted an audience to make things worse.
I had reluctantly stepped back away from Pierce and unlocked my arms from around his neck and stepped down though my palms had lingered and had softy run down his chest before I had finally stepped back away from him, breaking complete contact. It had been more difficult than I would have ever expected, breaking that contact. What was usually my natural inclination had felt anything but natural yesterday.
It had felt wrong.
Pierce, too had seemed just as unwilling to break our connection but the rueful look he threw towards the front door said it all. He knew my friends were waiting and he also knew they would come if I wasn’t back soon.
“All things considered, let’s give them a break today. They can see me kiss you some other time,” he had tacked on, making me blush and him laugh.
I never knew what would come out of that mouth of his. I only knew for sure how amazing it kissed. His mouth I was learning was a gift and a curse. Though it could annoy me with some of the things he said it definitely came with perks.
My fingers absentmindedly rubbed at my lower lip as I concentrated on the spreadsheet in front of me. Auditing numbers had never seemed less appealing than now. Pierce and kissing Pierce was about all I could think of.
And that had made things a bit awkward when I had finally rejoined my friends. Archer and Percy had obviously threatened the other three with dire consequences because Branson, Mick, and Noah had been on their best behavior. As a matter of fact, other than a few questions, they had changed the subject and we had actually enjoyed the rest of our get together. Of course, those few questions had been doozies.
The first was why had my wallet ended up with Pierce and what had I been doing not to notice it was missing? Of course, I knew that question had been coming so I answered it as simply as I could. I told them we had gone out on a date and it must have slipped out of my pocket. There were a few skeptical faces in response but I ignored them and Percy and Archer made it clear that particular subject was closed.
The second question had come from Archer himself and it had been quite simple but very much to the point.
“Do you like him?”
I hadn’t hesitated in answering though I had stuttered a bit with my answer, only just realizing then it was the first time I had stuttered the whole day. Considering how messy it had gotten I was astounded.
“Y…yes.”
Branson and Noah had immediately spoken up with their questions of why but Percy and Archer had nixed that in the bud by saying it was none of their busines and they needed to respect my feelings and my privacy.
“Just give him a ch… chance,” I had quietly asked to the room at large. “For m…me.”
A few grumbles had been my response but they had quietened almost immediately and instead they had all agreed to lighten up with Pierce when he was around. Noah and Branson’s agreement had been halfhearted at best but I was satisfied enough. Archer and Percy had actually seemed quite happy about the entire thing while Mick had appeared to be riding the fence not yet ready to say one way or the other what he was thinking and had only commented, ‘time will tell.’
After that, we had tackled the piled high food on our plates and Percy, thank goodness had guided us through a not so subtle conversation change that had soon had everything back as it was before Pierce’s arrival. The rest of the day had passed pleasantly though I had to admit that despite their company my mind had wandered on several occasions back to Pierce and all that that entailed.
Which was pretty much where I was at right now. I was trying to work but no matter how hard I tried my mind always ended back on Pierce. The kiss, his winks, his chest under my hands. That damn devilish smile and the tenderness in his eyes. How he had stood silently and taken the verbal punches and how he had subtly snarked back when he’d had enough without crossing any lines.
Pierce was amazingly sexy in so many ways. He was an original. He was fun and witty and smart, exceptionally so. He was forceful but considerate, and he definitely had a temper that made me hesitate at times. But despite that, I was drawn to him in a way I could no longer resist.
I wasn’t sure where this was going but sometime in the middle of the night as I had flopped over in my bed trying to go to sleep, I had realized I wasn’t going to hide from any of it anymore. I would follow this path with him till the end wherever that may lead. I just couldn’t imagine now doing anything less.
An incoming email notice flashed at the corner of my screen. It was from Fern with an attachment. He was finally sending me the revised presentation. Two hours later, corrections made I sent him the revisions with a heartfelt sigh.
The presentation had been narrowminded and had lacked specifics. I knew Pierce wanted details. The entire point was to avoid wasting time. A little extra work upfront to make that happen shouldn’t really be an issue but it seemed Fern was continuing to struggle with what his boss wanted.
I sighed as I clicked send. I knew Fern wasn’t going to be happy with me and could only guess at how he would act the next time I saw him.
I was just about to finish for the day when an email arrived from Mr. Jones. I was pleasantly surprised to find that a meeting regarding the project had been scheduled for tomorrow. Fern must have not been offended after all with my corrections and worked really hard to get them done if we were already able to meet up and discuss it tomorrow.
Smiling I stood up and stretched for the first time not dreading these outside meetings that were becoming more and more common. As I walked into the kitchen, Cissero at my heels, I wondered if I would be seeing Pierce at this meeting. I didn’t fail to notice the increase of my pulse and the nervous anticipation that suddenly struck my midsection at my thoughts. There was no way I could kid myself any longer.
I wanted to see him.
The excitement was still there the next morning as I parked my car and glanced up out the windshield to the building in front of me. I marveled at how at ease I felt this time around compared to my first visit here. Though not much time had passed it felt like I had changed immeasurably. I didn’t dread this meeting. I wasn’t anxious about walking into the building. I wasn’t insecure about my capabilities or the expectation of them. I felt I could handle about everything that came my way. It was so odd to feel this secure.
Thinking about it started small butterflies in my stomach and the familiarity of the sensation had me smiling ruefully to myself. Changes, I corrected myself, not changed. I quickly decided the best thing I could do for myself was to stop thinking about it and get on with living. I would surely run into issues and I would deal with them like I usually had done.
Baby steps.
I walked into the office building and took the elevator up. Mr. Jones had told me in the email that the meeting would be held in the same room after I had assured him, he didn’t need to meet me downstairs again.
A few minutes later I strolled into the meeting, pleased more than I could say at the sight of Pierce sitting in the chair he had sat the first time I came here. I glanced at him but my eyes quickly shied away in nervousness. The last time I saw him I had been intimately plastered against his body, both of us breathing harshly and painfully aroused. I had never encountered this kind of situation before and I felt stupidly ill equipped as to how to handle it now.
I simply took the seat I had used before and waited for the others to enter the room. I knew Pierce looked over at me and my eyes shot up to say a quick hello. He had a playful smile dancing on his lip and his ice eyes sparkled at me, showing the humor he was doing a bad job of hiding, if he was even trying.
I coughed lightly into my fist and glanced away and then back at him, trying my best to act normal but it wasn’t the easiest thing to do with him not a foot away from me. Shockingly, I realized it would have been easier for me if we could have acknowledged each other as simply each other. Unfortunately, though under the circumstances, I knew we needed to be discreet despite it making things more awkward for me.
I was learning in this moment that I didn’t pretend very well. It was a weird thing to learn about oneself during a business meeting.
Thankfully Fern and T.J. arrived along with Amber traipsing in behind them. Fern as usual looked prickly and T.J. looked as harassed as was his norm. Amber though looked oddly flustered and though she said a hello in my general direction she was failing to make eye contact with me. Before I could ponder why though, Mr. Jones started speaking to start the meeting.
The first fifteen minutes went smoothly. I sensed nothing amiss and listened attentively as Mr. Jones and Fern discussed the setup and potential delays. After that came Fern’s presentation. That was when things started to go wrong.
The presentation given by Fern was the exact same as he had sent me yesterday. He had made none of the changes I had spent two hours working on. It lacked the pertinent details required to fit Pierce’s expectations.
I glanced over at Pierce and could tell he wasn’t impressed and actually looked angry. A tight knot of anxiety formed in the pit of my stomach. Fern seemed oblivious to Pierce’s displeasure though and he continued on to the end as if everything was perfect. He apparently was the only one. Mr. Jones looked quite miffed as well. T.J. and Amber looked ill at ease.
The ball dropped for me then and I had a light bulb moment. Amber’s inability to meet my eyes when she had come in was making more sense. She knew Fern hadn’t heeded my changes but she hadn’t known what to do about it. I sighed inwardly, trying to steady my breathing.
My work was my work. The fact that he was presenting this half-completed presentation with my supposed approval was devastating to me. I felt my old self returning. I wanted to hide away where I didn’t have to deal with people and their pettiness. I wanted peace and quiet and to be left alone where I knew no one could undermine me or the job I do.
I glanced over at Pierce and the disappointment on his face made things even worse. I sat silently as he piece by piece broke down all the sections that were lacking and there were quite a few. All but one of the things were what I had revised myself and sent to Fern to correct or add.
Looking at me, Pierce asked directly.
“Is there any reason why you didn’t think to make these changes?”
I fumbled to speak. Nerves were interfering with my brain and I couldn’t seem to find the words to explain. My eyes darted to Fern who looked pleased with himself.
“I trusted that since this meeting was called that that meant you had looked things over and made changes where applicable. I am finding it hard to believe Jackson, that you couldn’t do better than this.”
The anxiety grew and a detached part of myself marveled that not that very long ago I had felt calm and positive and actually comfortable. All of that was being destroyed and I hadn’t even done anything wrong. Frustrated with the situation and myself I struggled through the chaos of my mind and fought hard to speak up.
Before I could though Fern did, is look and voice were falsely sincere. I could tell he was striving hard to make me look even worse than I already did.
“This is what Jackson approved. I was a bit disappointed myself but…” he said, trailing off insinuatingly.
My eyes locked with Amber’s and I could tell she wanted to speak up but was afraid to do so. Afraid like me. Why either of us were afraid was beyond me. Fern was lying. Why was I letting him get away with it? Why was I letting my anxiety flare up and cloud my mind?
I lay both of my hands on the table and clenched them into fists. Looking down I closed my eyes and concentrated on my breathing. I heard Pierce’s harsh intake of breath and him say my name but I ignored him. I had to fight the internal conflict raging inside me. I had no desire to go backwards. I wanted to break free of this debilitating and often times irrational anxiety that had plagued me for so long.
For my work, for myself I had to do this.
I heard Fern try to speak again but Pierce harshly cut him off. I was thankful in that moment that he was giving me the time I needed and in doing so giving me back some of my confidence. After a few moments, my composure somewhat in check, I unclenched my fists and reached down to my case by my feet.
I heard Pierce say my name again but I ignored him. I needed to keep focused for what was about to happen. I hated confrontations. I never started them. I avoided them at all costs. But today I was about take on one head on!
Reaching in my bag I drew out the small black thumb drive that had a presentation that I had at the last moment created on my own.
To the room at large I announced, “Let me show you the presentation you should have been given in the first place.”
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