Pest Control Âœ” PC │032

A/N: you know the drill but i’ll tell you again B-) please play the song for the feels<33 ALSO i love all of you okay thanks gn

【A L V I N】

“There, you’re doing great,” Lucien commented with a fond grin, not bothering to remove his hand from my hip which he’d insisted was just there to ‘help me keep my balance’ – but it was doing anything but helping if I’m being honest. “Are you sure you didn’t practice by yourself?” 

“Positive,” I responded with a chuckle before he moved over in front of me. Before I could question his actions, he took a hold of both my hands like he’d done the first day – and holy fuck, when I tell you I almost lost my balance right then and there. 

“Do you remember what I told you?” he questioned as he pulled me just a little bit closer in order to ‘help me maintain my balance’.

“Don’t look down,” I responded, finally forcing myself to look up at his eyes – and holy fuck part two. 

We were so fucking close – just a few more centimetres and our lips would literally be in contact. The proximity didn’t help ease the erratic pattern of my heartbeat. The way in which his fingertips were ever so slightly digging into my hips didn’t help ease how nervous I was feeling at that moment. The breath he let out when he noticed how close we were didn’t help either – and most importantly, it didn’t help at all when he glanced down at my lips for only a mere second before looking back up at me.

 I was so fucked. 

“Your heart’s acting up again,” he noted, his voice barely above a whisper. 

I swallowed nervously before placing my hands on his chest – to maintain my balance, of course. Then I noticed how fast his heart was beating as well – hell, it was beating faster than mine was. 

“You’re one to talk,” I responded with a small grin that reflected not only my nervousness but my confusion as well in that situation. 

It was so silent in the rink – the only sounds present was the sound of the blades of our shoes cutting through the thick ice and the sound of our voices. No one else was present, like he had predicted – and so, it felt all the more tense yet worthwhile. 

“You look great by the way,” he said out of nowhere. “I forgot to mention it earlier, I was at a loss for words.”

That was so cheesy but so cute – I just about might be insane.

“So I usually look ugly?” I joked. 

He raised his brow at me in amusement before bringing one of his hands up to flick my forehead before placing it back onto my hip, “You always look amazing, dumbass.”

“So do you,” I admitted sheepishly, looking away. 

Why was it so hard to maintain eye contact with him? 

Holy shit, I hated having feelings for someone. I hated how confusing it was. I hated how nervous and insecure it made me. Normally, I couldn’t be arsed to think twice about my actions around this man – but now, here I was, worrying about whether I was breathing too loud or not. 

“This feels so nice,” he commented with a sigh of relief. “Thank you for coming here with me.”

“Of course,” I responded with a nod, still not bothering to look him in the eye. “Thank you for teaching me how to skate.”

“It’s my pleasure, you don’t have to thank me,” he said with a quiet chuckle. 

Silence fell upon us following that – and unlike all the other times, this kind of silence made me nervous. I didn’t know whether I should say something or just keep my mouth shut. And the more he said, the more trapped I felt. Trapped in my own state of mind – the state of mind which made sure to remind me regularly that I’d never be good enough for someone like Lucien. 

He only thinks of you as a friend – I reminded myself. 

If you confess, you’ll risk losing the friendship that the two of you have. 

Stuck. That’s how I felt. I felt so fucking stuck and helpless – but feelings tend to do that to you. That’s part of the reason why I tried my best to steer clear from anything romance related. But look at how well that worked out for me. Holy shit, if only I wasn’t terrified of bugs. If only I was capable of killing those damn roaches by myself, I wouldn’t have ended up here. I wouldn’t be pining over a man who probably thinks of me as nothing but a friend. 

I felt his heartbeat pick its pace out of nowhere – and this almost compelled me to look up at him and question what he was thinking about. Was he overthinking our relationship just like I was? 

I shook my head and let out a soft sigh. I was getting way too ahead of myself. Yet again, feelings tend to do that to you. Maybe feeling things is better than feeling nothing at all – but in this situation, I yearned to feel absolutely nothing. Because when it came to him, I found myself feeling way too many emotions at once. Emotions I didn’t even know I was capable of feeling. 

“Alvin, look at me,” he said in a soft voice after a while of nothing but silence. 

I swallowed nervously. Why did his voice sound so different when he said that?

Nevertheless, I obeyed and the moment my eyes met his, my heart nearly spilled out of my chest. 

Friends. That’s what you are – just friends.

“I’m really glad I met you,” he admitted, an incomprehensible emotion laced in his tone. Before I could say I felt the same, he continued. “Thank you for making me feel wanted again.”

Normally, I would’ve cringed. But because it was coming from him – I couldn’t help but feel myself losing my touch with reality. 

Friends. We’re just friends. 

As we continued skating in imperfect circles on the ice with the cold air blowing through our hair, almost like we were in a movie, he did something I would have never seen coming – never in a million fucking years. 

He placed his index finger under my chin and began to lean in – and before I could register the situation, his lips had already met mine. 

Almost instinctively, I wrapped my arms around his neck – and nearly lost my balance while I was at it. However, he wrapped his arms around my waist entirely to secure me in place and tilted his head ever so slightly to deepen the kiss. 

And fuck, when I tell you it felt like the butterflies in my stomach had multiplied. If him simply ruffling my hair had made me feel sparks of electricity throughout my body, this kiss was enough to light my heart on fire. It was enough to make torrents of emotions flood through my mind, my heart, my entire being. It was enough to make me feel lost. Lost yet loved ; the deadliest emotions, I’d come to realize. 

Did friends normally kiss like this?