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☻ billieeilish
♥︎ 𘘠➢
⎋ liked by stephanie and 1,323,814 others
billieeilish I saw stars
zoedonahoe: eyelinerrrrrrr
claudiasuleski: hot hot hot
↳ billieeilish: LOVE YOU
unclecrunkle: you’re so hot
user 69: COME TO ICELAND
billiefan: run me over daddy
stephanie: MOMMY HOT ASF
finneas: do you need to borrow a hairbrush
↳billieeilish: ðŸ§â€â™€ï¸
user333: stop you’re literally perfect
antisocialeilish: I wanna eat your ass
gabriellewinters: pretty baby
user2: BILLIE NOTICE ME 🥑💚🕷
↳ user1: bye-
↳user7: not the avocado ðŸ˜
august: do you need a dog? I can bark
comment liked by billieeilish
user5: I miss the old billy when you had green hair
user 1: I THINK I JUST DIED AND WENT TO HEAVEN
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☻ august
♥︎ 𘘠➢
⎋ liked by billieeilish and 56,900 others
august good morning 😉
harrystyles: ew
↳ august: eat my ass
stephanie: I MISS U
↳ august : come back to la pls i miss u sm
user2: MOMMY?
antisocialeilish: turn the camera around
user444: I love you
gabriellewinters: hot
user4: omg billie liked
kai: TITTIES
↳august: we do love titties
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unknown number
[4pm]
hey matt
this is my new number
who are you lol
this isn’t matt
oops I typed the wrong area code
sorry dude
it’s cool
[7pm]
did you know pigs have orgasms that can last up to thirty minutes
damn I wish mine lasted that long
wait nvm they can last up to ninety minutes
I’m a little concerned as to how you know this information
but also why are you telling a random stranger this
the power of google my friend
also you’re telling me your life didn’t drastically improve since you got that message
I mean you right
you’re welcome
so random stranger
what’s your name
why would I give you my name
fine
what’s your star sign?
don’t tell me you’re one of the astrology bitches
give me your star sign goddamn it
sag
are you fr?
why would I lie about being a sagittarius
oh my god we’re compatible
for all you know I could be a sixty year old man
why did you want to know if we’re compatible
are you a sixty year old man??
no
are you a sixty year old man??
I wish I was
man my dick would be so big
please tell me you’re a girl
yes but I prefer the term woman
PRAISE THE LORD
and why are you praising the lord?
BECAUSE YOU’RE A WOMAN TOO
so future wife, where are you from
we have the same area code
work that one out
don’t be rude to your future wife
I’m not gay dude
you kinda seem like a hey mamas lesbian
please I can’t deal with another one
BRO
I AM NOT A LESBIAN
you used dude and bro
you’re definitely a hey mamas lesbian
you’re so dumb
meanie
read
[1am]
hey bestie
BRO
send me a photo of yourself
you send ME a photo of yourself
no because you’ll fall in love with me
i’m only in love with myself
as you should be bestie
stop calling me bestie
send me a photo already
I meant a photo of you dumbass
did you know swag means secretly we are gay
no
no I did not know that
are you swag?
what part of ‘I’m not gay’ do you not understand
ok chill
can you send me a photo?
I lost my phone
how old are you?
twenty
I’m twenty one
so, you into older women?
bitch you’re literally a year older than me
how do you even have friends?
I HAVE FRIENDS
but you’re messaging a stranger
and you’re replying to a stranger
touché
I’m just bored
me too
my roommate is currently blasting their ‘pussy pleasuring’ playlist
which only means one thing
you jealous?
…..no
when was the last time you got laid?
THIS ISN’T ABOUT ME
tell me
According to all known laws of aviation, there is no way a bee should be able to fly. Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground. The bee, of course, flies anyway because bees don’t care what humans think is impossible. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Ooh, black and yellow! Let’s shake it up a little. Barry! Breakfast is ready! Ooming! Hang on a second. Hello? – Barry? – Adam? – can you believe this is happening? – I can’t. I’ll pick you up. Looking sharp. Use the stairs. Your father paid good money for those. Sorry. I’m excited. Here’s the graduate. We’re very proud of you, son. A perfect report card, all B’s. Very proud. Ma! I got a thing going here. – You got lint on your fuzz. – Ow! That’s me! – Wave to us! We’ll be in row 118,000. – Bye! Barry, I told you, stop flying in the house! – Hey, Adam. – Hey, Barry. – Is that fuzz gel? – A little. Special day, graduation. Never thought I’d make it. Three days grade school, three days high school. Those were awkward. Three days college. I’m glad I took a day and hitchhiked around the hive. You did come back different. – Hi, Barry…….
did you just send me the whole fucking bee movie script?
no
I gotta go bestie
kai’s sneaky link just left
I can finally sleep
BORING
why you tryna sleep so early
SOME OF US HAVE WORK AT SIX AM DOROTHY
who tf is dorothy
you are
you seem like a dorothy
maybe margret?
agatha?
edith?
betty?
why tf do you think I have an old ass lady name
tell me your real name then
nah
you suck
–
I already know this bout to be fun to write
also you might recognise some characters from another book👀
I’ve seen/read a few books which include majority text messages and instagram posts/comments so I thought I’d try making one myself…lemme know what you guys think so far
love you guys <3
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