Jungkook walked into his condo very late that night, clothes still wet and sticking to his body as his heavy boot clad feet trudged slowly through the corridors of the building.
He winced when his shoulder accidentally hit the edge of a wall at a turning, body feeling weak as ever but he managed to balance himself on the barrister.
The halls were empty and lights out, except for the narrow ones lighting the floors of the corridors that led to everyone’s rooms, indicating everyone had already retired to their beds.
Jungkook held his aching shoulder and shuffled through the quiet pathways, making for his room but he found himself stopping at another one. The one right next to his own.
Before he knew he was pushing into that room again, the familiar aura enveloping his cold tired self into its warm welcoming sheath. The smell of the roses were nearly gone but Jungkook swore he felt it linger around somewhere, especially from the ottoman that still stood where it had always been.
He sucked in a breath through his mouth, eyes fluttering shut and his knees giving out right in front of the tall chair. His head was hanging low, musty hair falling over his eyes and bated puffs leaving his chest as his mind travelled back to a few hours back.
Jungkook finally pushed the girl away from himself, hands still gripping on her shoulders and little pants leaving his lips courtesy to the forced kiss.
“Kara you need to stop.” He let out sounding angry, menacing eyes staring into hers,” i did not want this.”
To his surprise, the girl only smiled in response. A sad smile drawing over his thin pink lips that had the boss chaining his temper for confusion.
“I know.” She let out softly, staring right back into the man’s eyes,” i know you don’t kook…” A shaky sigh left her mouth and she stumbled forward, falling right against ravenette,” c-can you hold onto me for a sec?”
Jungkook didn’t know what to do for a moment. He figured he couldn’t bring himself to just push her off and ask her to leave him alone like he wanted to. Atleast not when she was still trusting him with her vulnerability after what he did to her.
So he lowered his hands instead and wrapped them around her tiny waist, holding her like she had requested him.
He heard a little sob escape the girl’s throat and the guilt in his system only increased manifolds causing him to caress her back gently,”Calm down.” He urged.
“I k-know,” kara repeated, broken voice coming out muffled from being pressed up against his shirt,” i know you don’t feel the same for m-me Jungkook.”
The ravenette gulped and lowered his gaze to the floor, hugging her still. “I… im sorry Kara.”
The girl sniffled loudly, curbing the need to sob harder and shook her head slightly,” i-i figured that already when you didnt kiss me back. It’s-its okay.”
A few moments passed and no one said another word, just standing in each other’s embrace– one with a broken heart and another with a tower of guilt weighing upon his shoulders.
But then the mob boss felt the embrace loosen around him, and watched the girl taking a gingerly step backwards, peering down at the ground.
“I-im sorry for forcing you earlier, i guess i j-just couldn’t help myself.” Kara admitted, gulping her leftover tears as she fiddled with the expensive loops on her fingers.
Jungkook didn’t respond to that, an awkward silence beginning to form before the female decided to break it again.
“S-so? Who’s the lucky girl then?”
“Huh?” The gangster looked up,confused.
“Come on now Jungkook. I know t-there has to be someone,” Kara tried to smile, but the sadness in her eyes couldn’t really cover for it,” it’s-its the spectacle girl isnt it?”
“Who-what? I really don’t know what you’re talking about right now,” Jungkook scoffed lightly, trying his best to appear oblivious but the way his pupils dilated and cheeks tinted up just at the mention of this ‘someone’ spoke just enough for him.
“Fine, fine! Don’t tell me, but i bet she must be the prettiest out there isnt it? Atleast tell me if she’s Korean? Or an American? Atleast tell me that much!” She said, suddenly pouting at him and if she was trying to lighten the previously intense mood, it was working because it had Jungkook rolling his eyes at her playfully.
“And what are you planning to do with that information?” He shot back, pursing his lips at the way her pout turned into a frown.
“Why, kill her ofcourse.” She joked, giggling a little afterwards but missed the way Jungkook’s smile fell.
‘I’m afraid you can’t.’ He thought to himself, heart stinging in his chest. His mood dropped suddenly and Kara noticed that, biting her tongue at her silliness.
“Hey, i was just kidding man. I’ll back off don’t worry,” Kara assured him, smiling genuine before she grabbed the ravenette’s hand and placed the now slightly crumpled paper on his palm,
“and i still want you to have these papers.”
“What– no! I-i don’t want these anymore,” The gangster protested quickly, trying to hand them back to her but she stepped away, hiding her hands behind her back,”Kara stop, please take them back. I can’t have them after what i did… to you.”
“No, i really want you to have them kook. And it’s not because I’m that super sacrificial type or i want you to swoon upon my greatness– well i can’t really guarantee the second one because i kinda want you to– but im doing this because it’s a good thing. All this money goes to help someone in need and its not a bad thing to want that right?”
Jungkook lowered his eyes and unfurled the papers in his hand, a huge amount of three hundred million dollars proudly sitting on it. He looked up and found Kara smiling at him and then looked back down again before fisting the cheque in his palms.
“Thanks,” he whispered but then shook his head and grabbed Kara’s hand to place the papers back on it,” but i really don’t want it anymore. Not like this, atleast. I have made a lot of mistakes, and have gotten a lot of debts to pay now. I don’t think i deserve this yet.”
Jungkook smiled gravely and took a step back, shoving his hands in his pockets while Kara simply nodded in response, even though she barely understood what he meant by his last words.
“Uh i should get going then,” The girl said with a shrug and began walking back to her car. Before getting in though, she stopped and turned to face him again with a small smile on her lips.
“I hope you can mend everything and pay back all your debts Jungkook. I wish you Goodluck.”
Jungkook turned his head towards the window beside him, eyes narrowing from the single beam of moonlight filtering in through the glass. He noticed the rainy thunderous clouds had now dispersed into little tufts of white, floating around and surrounding the pale moon like little petals of a flower.Â
He couldn’t help but immediately think of a particular one they resembled – white poppies.
“Poppies! I love poppies too much!!”
Jungkook cracked a smile at the memory and Taehyung’s voice booming in his head, sounding all chirpy and excited at the thought of something so simple like that.
But the happy smile soon dissipated into nothingness, just a painful stretch across the face that slowly fell as he slumped forward, resting his forehead against the glass pane with a thump.
The clouds swayed on swiftly, drifting away from the orb and across the black sky like pollinating dandelions and the ravenette just couldn’t take his eyes off them.
“Are you up there kitty?” He murmured to himself, eying the tiny little stars glimmering quietly behind the clouds, having given the spotlight to the white tufts instead,”are you well?”
There was no answer ofcourse, just a comfortable numbing silence that gave enough room for Jungkook to drown in his own thoughts.
So he sat there, forehead against the window and eyes on the sky, thinking for as long as he could. He thought about his first day as leader in the mafia, his first complete mission of weapon supply across Oceania. He thought about the numerous missions he was sent to, the number of houses he’d burnt, people he’d killed.
Did all of them feel what he was feeling right now? The same amount of helplessness upon having to continue on living while the one closest to you has already left the earth?
He wondered if they hated him for it. For taking away their most precious thing for reasons like money or show of his ostentatious but non existent power? Ofcourse they did. But it shouldn’t matter anymore now that Jungkook was finally paying his debts too, right?
Unlike many others Jungkook never felt guilty for taking lives for his business. He did it without a second thought like an average person doing his regular job in an office. That’s how he had been raised, apart from his little interest in artsy stuff which too was stamped under every boot possible. He didn’t realize what death meant until this day.
And now that he felt it, let it sink into his bones, that the ones dead are never going to return, all he could feel was… regret. Immense regret.
Just how funny was the universe to make him realize he loved someone just after he’d taken their life himself?
‘I hope you can mend everything and pay back all your debts Jungkook. I wish you Goodluck.’
Only if.
Only if he could go back in time and actually do that. Only if he’d had the courage to request Taehyung to stay instead of handing him that NOC. Only if he’d actually listened to his heart and stopped avoiding the boy for once. Only if he hadn’t been swayed by anger and given him a chance to speak. He could’ve forgiven Taehyung for doing whatever he did or maybe even kept the boy with him forever as his penalty for betraying them.
But that couldn’t happen now, could it? Jungkook had lost all the chances he’d always grown up getting away with. It couldn’t happen for his Taehyung had already gone up to the stars.
And there was no way he was coming back to him.
________________________________________
Taehyung closed his eyes and released a shaky sigh, the calm image of the moon and intricate constellations of stars glittering around it, burnt in his brain.
He didn’t remember for how long he had been sitting out there– in the small balcony of the two room apartment– watching the moon shine so brightly yet so calmly over his head.
His head was muddled with thoughts. And it wasn’t a surprise when it was all centered around a certain ravenette.
Somewhere in his heart, a voice told him that maybe… just maybe Jungkook was looking up at the moon right now and thinking about him too.
But he quickly shook his head and kicked the thought out. Jungkook had a girlfriend now. A pretty, rich, powerful partner who could bring about his dreams come true (like Jimin told him).
So why would he waste his time thinking about a nobody like Taehyung? Ofcourse he wouldn’t.
Maybe Jungkook was with her right now. With her laying in his arms and him holding her close like he had been doing that evening. Yeah, that seemed more fitting.
Taehyung ignored the tear that slipped down his cheek and joined all the others that were now resting on his lap. He inhaled a deep breath and turned his face away, now gawking inside the dark hall where Jimin was sleeping peacefully on the couch.
He stood up and slowly made his way over to the sleeping ravenette, before standing over his head and peering down at him.
Jimin sensed the gaze upon him and opened his eyes, meeting them with Taehyung’s blank yet watery ones.
“Didn’t sleep yet?” Jimin let out softly, rising himself to a seating position. He moved a little and patted the space next to him,”come sit.”
Taehyung moved and did what he was told, making sure to keep a good distance between the two as he sat down. Jimin sighed but let it slide, reaching over the teapoy to grab some water before handing it over to him.
The boy took the pitcher and finished it all before placing it back on the table.
“What are you thinking, pet?” The older questioned, noticing the look of contemplation on Taehyung’s face.
The boy blinked and looked over at the older before biting his lip a little.
“I-i decided something,” he started, not looking up,” i want to go back h-home.”
Jimin watched him, appearing slightly shocked even though he would be lying if he said he hadn’t seen this coming.
“Home?” He repeated,”why?”
“I just want to,” Taehyung gulped dryly, averting his gaze elsewhere.
“Tae, you can talk to me, you know that right?.” Jimin urged the boy but Taehyung simply shook his head in response.
“I d-don’t see why i should stay,” he replied, void deep and grave,” i have no reason to.”
“But we’re close to finding out the real informer! Hobi hyung said he already found some suspicious people lurking after you the whole night and you wont believe who one of them was–”
“Hyung, i don’t want to know,” Taehyung cut the elder off mid sentence, sounding slightly pissed now,
“ask Hoseok hyung to stop searching for all i care.”
Jimin noticed the evident change in the younger’s demeanor and to stay he was surprised would be an overstatement because he saw that coming too. Maybe what he witnessed today had acted as a breaking point for the boy, or worse… acted as a reason for him to finally raise his guards and close off his emotions for everyone around him.
Jimin looked up as Taehyung suddenly got off the couch and strutted into his room, shortly emerging back with a piece of paper in his hands.
“You got a pen?” The boy asked him, later walking over to the drawers where Jimin had pointed. He shuffled through them and found one, popping out its cap and bending over the oak top to scribble something at the bottom of the page.
Jimin watched still seated on the couch, probably too stunned to move as the boy walked back and handed the paper to him. He looked down and nearly scoffed at the NOC that now had Taehyung’s messy signature on it.
“Did Jungkook give this to you?” Jimin asked him.
Taehyung hummed. “A long time back.”
“Fuckin asshole, brute bitch!” The boy ignored the curses leaving the older’s mouth and went to sit down next to him again.
“I have a plan,” Taehyung started, a little of the previous nervousness returning,” i can go back and tell them that i was kidnapped by the Jeon mafia and they were bringing me to some place in America but i managed to escape and lost my way in the country. I naturally didn’t have my visa and getting a new one was next to impossible but it took me a month and i got it made somehow. That way, even if they ask me questions about your gang i will have nothing to say and they can’t even force me to. Meanwhile you can have these papers as a proof that im not going to out you guys unless i want to go to jail along with you.”
Jimin was literally stunned at the boy’s suggestion.
“Did you like… think all of that up within a minute?” He asked in a daze and Taehyung only blushed a little.
“But what about the head constable? Doesn’t he already know you were with us the whole time?”
“Yes, he does. But i can tell him i was lying because you guys were keeping tabs on me. Remember how he said i called him first? I’ll just make up a story of how my first call was meant to tell him where i was and seek help but then the mafia tracked his call and i had to change my words last minute to throw them off or something.” Taehyung explained, watching as Jimin grew more and more impressed with his words.
“But are you sure he’ll buy that?” The ravenette questioned.
“He should… Jjangyo-nim is a close friend, he’d not look too much into it, i guess. But that’s for laters.” The previous cop replied slumping his back against the couch,” the main issue is actually getting a visa back to Korea.”
“Piece of cake,” Jimin winked, whipping his phone out to text somebody,” And now ladies and gentlemen is the time for the infamous Kim Taewon to make a reappearance!”
The boy chuckled a little, feeling much better than before. Although the dull ache in his heart remained, only stinging harder at the thought finally leaving the mob boss behind for good.
Taehyung had decided he was going to get his life together again, shed the shadows of his unyielding past and move on like Jungkook already had. No matter how impossible it seemed right now, Taehyung was going to do it. For himself.
“When do you want to leave?” The older asked him, already typing up a big message to Hoseok.
“As soon as possible. Tomorrow, if you can please,” the boy muttered under his breath and Jimin turned to look at him with a tiny flicker of sadness in eyes.
“Thats too soon, i thought we had just begun bonding.” Jimin said it like it was meant to be a joke but he knew it wasn’t. Taehyung turned to look at him with a sad smile on his lips as well.
“I’ll call you.” He whispered, shifting a little closer and resting his head upon Jimin’s ripped shoulder.
“You know you can’t do that once you get there right?” Jimin said rhetorically, getting comfortable against the younger.
Taehyung only hummed, eyes fixed on the broken television sitting in front of them.” I’ll write to you then.”
“And ask about Jungkook? No thanks but im not going to be the bestfriend who mediates between two of my buddies who broke up.” The ravenette scoffed loudly and Taehyung internally smiled at his attempts to lighten the mood.
“So im your bestfriend now?” Taehyung asked instead, peering up at Jimin who reddened at little in response.
“Buddy. I said buddy.”
“No you said you don’t want to be the bestfriend who mediates between two people who broke up.”
“I certainly did not say that.”
“You sure did hyung.”
“Taehyung shut up.”
“No way, im your bestfriend now!”
“Tae i swear to god–”
Taehyung looked at Jimin the same time the older did and then they burst out laughing.
The blue haired boy clutched his stomach and laughed hard while Jimin slid onto the carpet, holding his head in his hands as his shoulders shook from how much he was laughing. Eventually the older stopped and looked over at Taehyung who was still laughing, hiding his face in the crook of his elbow.
Jimin stood up and walked upto him, prying the hand from over Taehyung’s eyes only to find them wet, glistening with tears. He quickly understood they’re weren’t the happy ones.
So he held the boy in his arms and listened until his fake laughter eventually transformed into little sobs, wracking through his smaller body as he hugged Jimin back.
“I-im going to l-leave him behind hyung. And I’m going to m-move on. I-im going to grow up and tell myself that having s-sex doesn’t mean love, although i thought J-jungkook and i had m-more than that but we certainly didn’t…”
“W-whatever happened– it was a lesson that i won’t dare to forget. Ever.”
________________________________________
A/n: There’s going to be a time skip in this book so be prepared, lovelies!
Who do you think Hosoek and Jimin found suspicious at the night of the party?
And Thankyou so SO sO much for 153k reads on an ongoing book like this. It’s a big surprise and i just can’t thank you enough for it.
I love you guys! 💜
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