The Last Time I Saw Your Stars Shine 58 / 57

hi

i never thought I’d start writing a letter again. especially not to you. i didn’t know how to react when i saw you stand in front of me. i wanted to run to you, hold you tight and keep you. honestly I thought you were just an illusion in my head like the day of my departure from seoul.

i guess that means i missed you. i never wanted to admit it since we were over the day we last seen each other. i also guess you missed me too since you flew 12 hours to paris to see me.

–

“i can’t believe you moved to Paris without me.”

wooyoung turns around recognizing the way to familiar voice. he dyed his hair blonde, his dark eyes piercing thru the blonde strands and the shine he hadn’t seen for long. his broad shoulders and the tiny waist. the silhouette he could recognize in the darkest place.

“why are you here?”

–

you were probably taken aback because of what i said. the way you didn’t come closer when you were trying to talk to me. i made you think i hated you, i’m sorry. now i wished i ran into your arms, hearing your heartbeat like i used to when i laid on your chest. but i guess i have to get used to it again 🙂

–

“san?” wooyoung hears him answer with a simple hum above him.

“were you the one i saw at the airport?” san smiled while he played with the youngers hair.

“were you surprised when you saw me?”

“so you were?” he looked up to meet the others eyes which are already looking at him, adoring his flawless beauty. lowering his head again, he took san’s hand interwining it with his.

“how long are you staying here?”

“until you get tired of me.” they laughed. wooyoung thought san needed to move in since he doesn’t think he’ll ever get tired of him.

“I’m serious tho. when are you going back?” wooyoung turned around to lay on his stomach, facing san who tilted his head.

“do you want me to leave so soon?”

“no. i just want to know so i can mentally prepare for our third breakup.”

san brushed the others hair back bringing his hand to his check, caressing the small mole underneath his eye.

“i didn’t book a flight back.”

wooyoung had his eyes shot open. “so you’re actually leaving when i get tired of you?”

“i was actually hoping you would never get tired of me so we don’t need to experience a third breakup.” san pouted until wooyoung laid back to his previous position.

“even if i’ll get tired of you i don’t want you to leave again.”

wooyoung said laying on san’s chest, listening to the heartbeat he was too familiar with.

–

i don’t know if you noticed that i tried to avoid looking into your eyes. i didn’t want to get too used to your shining stars again. previously i took it as a given, not noticing how unique and precious they are.

i don’t think i ever thanked you for everything that happened in our childhood. we never really talked about it. i know you tried to avoid the subject since you thought i was still sensitive about it.

anyways thank you for being my only friend back then. when we met again i believed it was fate that brought us back together. is it okay to think it was fate again?

–

wooyoung flashes a smile every time he glances up at san, going back to scribbling something in his notebook. when san tried to look at his creation the younger quickly turns away from him.

“show mee.” san whined hanging his head low which makes wooyoung smile even more.

“i’m almost done just wait a little bit.”

san lays his head on the table with his arms beneath it and just stares at the boy sitting across the table. going thru every single feature on his face, some of them were still the same. yet he can’t get over how much prettier wooyoung got. not a single flaw. his eyes focused and his lips slightly parted, san’s mind wonders how his lips felt on the others again.

“okay.” wooyoung said putting his notebook back into his bag and turning his head back to san who already looked at him with a disappointment face.

“you said you’d how me.” he said pouting, looking at his lap.

–

i said to wait a little bit. that didn’t mean i’d give it to you on that day. okay, i did feel a little evil for messing with you but i promised the wait will be worth it. you looked incredibly cute pouting and being all whiny. i’m sorry for disappointing you that day but i knew that the chocolate ice cream would make you feel better.

you know what i miss the most at home? i miss going to the lake. i remember the first time you took me there and we went swimming in the ice cold water. looking back at it now It all felt like a dream. the minute you left, i thought everything that we’d done wasn’t real. how bad i wanted to turn around and run back to you, it still hurts thinking about it. even tho you’re here with me and I finally can wrap my arms around you,

i’m scared we will go thru the same thing again. i’m scared you’ll leave again. in life we meet numerous of people but i don’t think i’ll meet anyone like you again. i know i won’t love anyone the way i loved you ever again.

honestly it still feels like a dream.

–

wooyoung flinches at the sudden touch of the others arms around his waist. the warm breath against his neck, san’s head rests on the youngers shoulder closing his eyes and breathing in wooyoungs scent.

“go to bed, i’ll join as soon as i’m done washing the dishes.” wooyoung says, brushing the hair out of san’s face. but the other only shook his head, burying it in wooyoungs neck.

“i don’t wanna be alone.”

san has been down the whole day, needing the attention of wooyoung. whenever he asked him a question, san would respond be shaking or nodding his head. wooyoung didn’t want to push him, he offered san that he could talk to him whenever he wanted and that he could take as much time as it needs.

knowing how san was feeling wooyoung laid the unfinished dished into the sink, taking off the gloves he turns around making san look him into the eyes.

“lets go to bed, hm?” san again only nodded his head following wooyoung to the bedroom they’ve been sharing for weeks. lucky they had a bigger bed now.

“come here baby.” san crawled on top of wooyoung, his head laying on the others chest.

after a while of just laying none of them felt tired yet they liked the silence they shared.

“i’m sorry for today.” wooyoung heard him say, he immediately turned his head trying to look in san’s eyes.

“sannie look at me.” san’s glossy eyes met the ones of the concerned boy. wooyoung cupped one side of san’s face, slowly caressing his cheek.

“we all have a bad day and need to be comforted. that’s nothing to be sorry about, okay?”

san only moves closer to wooyoung, feeling his warmth all over him. he notices himself staring at wooyoungs lips. the ones he loved the most that whenever they met he felt like nothing else in this world mattered more. he wasn’t sure if wooyoung wanted to kiss him too but san couldn’t stop himself this time. he leans in, kissing him like it would’ve been the last time. wooyoung returned the kiss, his hand that previously was on his cheek travelled down to san’s lower back pulling him closer, leaving no gap between the two lovers.

–

i will never forget that night. our kiss. i’ve been longing it for so long, i thought i was going crazy. nothing changed. your kiss still feels like heaven.

–

“i want to give something to you, sannie.”

san looks at wooyoung who had something hidden behind him. they were currently on the rooftop, watching the shining stars in the moonlight. wooyoung smiled shyly walking towards san, turning him around to back hug him. his chin resting on san’s shoulder, wooyoung watches the stars. the ones he wasn’t too scared of losing.

“what is it?” san turned his head the see the others side profile, while the light wind pushes their hair back exposing wooyoungs forehead – a sight he could look at for hours.

“last week at the coffee shop when i was doing something in my notebook remember?” san nodded his head in question until wooyoung pulled out an envelope with the number 58 on it.

–

let this be the last letter and let’s stay together for eternity, san. no matter what happens. please stay with me even if you fall out of love or if you find someone else. tho i really hope that doesn’t happen ._.

but if it does i hope you read this letter thinking about how many days of mine you’ve litten up. i hope you will continuously do that to the people you love the most. if i could paint your the stars in your eyes into the sky, maybe no one would never have to worry about darkness anymore.

the end