The Last Time I Saw Your Stars Shine i miss you

a/n

in school rn and my drug addict teacher doesn’t even know what they talking about im-

–

the memories of wooyoung made his heart ache. his smile, his laugh, the way he got shy. if san had one wish he would turn back time and lay beside his lover, holding him tight in his arms and make him listen to his heartbeat that he knows wooyoung enjoys. he wants to tell wooyoung how much he loves him, he wants to run to him apologizing for every little mistake he made. there was no one stopping him to do that. no one but himself.

staring at the ceiling of his wall while laying on his bed which he used to lay with him on. everything in san’s life felt empty, school which he stopped attending not only due him not being able to pay the fees but also he wants to avoid seeing the younger. the situation they are right now, san made it. he was the one who broke up with him, saying he wanted to forget about wooyoung but it doesn’t work. everything reminds san of wooyoung, everything.

he was losing his mind. he can’t escape him so san picked up his phone, dialing the only phone number he knows by heart. holding it on his ear only hearing the repeating sound it goes on for minutes yet he didn’t stop. after multiple attempts, he gave up letting his phone drop on the floor. he pulls back his hair in frustration if he could he would go see the younger in person but he doesn’t even know where he stays and that’s when realization hit him. wooyoung barely has friends and his parents kicked him out. where the fuck is he staying at?

wooyoung was fighting with himself. looking at the phone seeing his name on it, he wanted to pick up the phone so bad. he wanted to hear his voice, his calming voice that calmed him down, that somehow reassured him that everything will be fine. the ringing wouldn’t stop but it made wooyoung somehow feel better – finally seeing san cares.

“don’t you wanna pick up?” seonghwa always pops up whenever you need him. he asks wooyoung sitting beside him.

“i want to.” wooyoung answered in a faint voice since he’s probably already on the verge of tears.

“but?”

“I don’t know.” seonghwa rubbed his back in comfort. he understood what wooyoung feels tho it doesn’t make sense.

“talk to him when you’re ready.” the younger only nodded making seonghwa smile, seeing the progress.

as he left the room his phone rang again and the same name showed up.

“he wouldn’t pick up anyway.” he thinks.

san was now walking around in his room, something he did whenever he felt nervous. soon he realized he wasn’t getting anywhere. wooyoung wasn’t going to pick up anyway, why would he. again minutes of the repeating beeping sound, he leans his head against the wall closing his eyes, hoping that the next second he would hear his lovers voice on the other side.

…

the beeping sound ended but he was still on call. san looks at the phone seeing he has been connected for 10 seconds already.

“does that mean wooyoung picked up?”

he freezes on the spot, unsure of what to say.

“wooyoung?” the only name that has been in his mind the past weeks.

“why did you call?” his question sounded harsh and it honestly hurt san a little.

“i- i don’t know.” san answered, he can’t believe after weeks he was finally talking to wooyoung again. even if he hated him the most right now, he was glad to hear his voice.

silence filled the call, both didn’t talk. yet there was no tension, they felt no anger or hate towards each other but they did feel the same thing – longing for each other.

“why did you pick up?” san asked back. if wooyoung didn’t want to talk to him he wouldn’t picked up the phone right?

“i miss you.”

when the silence took over again wooyoung thought the call was useless. san didn’t answer for a minute, it made wooyoung believe he didn’t miss him back and it got him annoyed. he was just wasting his time now.

but not until he heard a sob coming for the other end. it broke wooyoungs heart too, he never wants to hear or see the other cry. they were already at their most vulnerable state, it was hard to tell if the phone call made it better or worse.

“are you okay? w- where are you staying at? you’re fine, right?” san asked with his voice shaking, wooyoung could clearly tell san is crying. but he couldn’t bring a word out. he wanted to tell him everything, how he is, where he’s at, how he’s feeling lately but his body didn’t let him.

“p- please say something woo. please tell me you’re doing better.” san’s voice broke even more and his sobbing would only get louder and wooyoungs tears were endlessly running down his face, wiping them away with his sweater he was wearing.

no one talked yet there were sobs coming from both ends, audible for both of them.

“i’m sorry woo. i’m sorry i didn’t tell you sooner, that i fell back into my bad habits. I’m sorry for leaving you alone and wounded. i never told you how much i loved you. i couldn’t make you happy. all I did was hurt you-” wooyoung hated hearing this. he never heard san being this broken.

“stop.” he said almost whispering getting the other stop talking about how sorry he was. “it’s not only your fault.” hearing how san blamed it all on himself hurt wooyoung because he knew that he also did things wrong.

wooyoung was still sobbing, laying in his bed with his blankets covering him and his pillow wet from the tears that have been falling nonstop while san sat down on the floor while his back slid down the wall with his tears falling as well. they were both exhausted. exhausted from crying, hurting, blaming each other, blaming themselves. tho it was silence again, none of them hung up.

“woo?” only hearing him say his nickname made wooyoungs heart ache. he hadn’t heard this name so long and now every time san says it, it’s mixed with the broken voice.

he didn’t answer, only his tears fell but luckily san couldn’t see that.

“i missed you too.”