The Last Time I Saw Your Stars Shine the last time i saw your stars shine

16th of march. the day where all their happiness disappears in a blink of a second, that’s san thought. its been two days since san talked with seonghwa and he still couldn’t bring himself to tell wooyoung but today he decided to end it he can’t continue giving the younger hope only making it more painful for him and afterwards wooyoung, the boy he never wanted to hurt anymore, the boy he only wanted to shower with love.

laying in the bad he’d share with him for the last time, san’s eyes staring at the ceiling with wooyoung laying on his bare chest while his arm tightly secured on his waist to prevent the younger from falling the bed. he doesn’t know how and where to do it, he didn’t want to do it at all. the past two days felt like a dream only seeing the sight of a happy boy clinging onto him, seeing his smile and the spark in his eyes whenever wooyoung looked at him. of course san felt good being with him but it also felt so wrong.

the movement beside san interrupted his overthinking, looking at wooyoung he already cuddled closer to him his shy smile and blushing showing. it felt like heaven whenever wooyoungs skin touches his. san didn’t regret what happened last night, it wasn’t their first time but it was definitely different from before but leaving now would be harder now.

the both of them were still undressed, san turns to face him brushing the youngers long hair out his face, taking a good look of him. san adored every single feature and every flaw on wooyoungs face. running over them with his thumb, wooyoung giggles.

“good morning.” he says with the with a still sleepy voice, looking at the remaining shining stars in san’s eyes.

“morning.” he answers softly smiles continuing to stare at him. none of them talked, just simply laying together enjoying each others presence. something about it made san finally fall asleep. yes, it was morning but all the thinking left him sleepless last night. wooyoung noticed pulling him closer massaging his scalp, helping him relax. san drifted into dreamland, feeling better after seeing the other smile.

after few hours of sleeping, san woke up seeing wooyoung sitting on the bed looking at him with a faint smile. san’s found wooyoungs hand automatically, holding it while rubbing his eyes.

“did you sleep well?” wooyoung asked which he nodded his head to.

“didn’t sleep much last night, did you?” again san only nodded his head.

“i wanna go somewhere today. can we go?” san’s plan was already ruined since all he wanted to do was please the younger and do whatever he wishes to, before he leaves him once again.

“where do you wanna go?” san asked pulling wooyoung down again to lay with him, spooning him and kissing his shoulder.

“to the lake.” he said, playing with san’s fingers.

“okay.” depending on what they’re doing, san’s planning to tell him there – at the place he ended everything last time.

before wooyoung could sit back up again, the arms around him tightened its grip on his waist, pulling him back.

“let’s just stay like this for a few minutes.” san said with closed eyes, forgetting everything else in the world only wanting to hold the boy he loves the most for one last time. wooyoung only laughed in response turning his body to hug san rather then being little spoon. san found it adorable how much of a baby wooyoung actually was. his hands found the youngers hair again, brushing them with his fingers and keeping them, holding his head close to his chest like he was protecting him from every single bad thing that could hurt him.

“san?” talking in a light voice, wooyoung was still locked in between san’s arms.

“yeah?”

“i love you.”

san could start crying. wooyoung was the innocent boy that couldn’t get mad at him for one single thing only letting out the sweetest words that made san’s heart melt. san believes wooyoung was way out of his league, he didn’t deserve him at all.

“i love you too.” san responded on the verge of breaking down.

“i know you do, even if we’re away from each other.” every time it hurts more there’s no use of holding it all in.

“would you continue to love me even tho you’d need to wait?”

“i don’t think i’ll love anyone else the way i love you.”

san finally let the tears roll down his face, landing on wooyoungs fluffy hair. the truth was san was definitely the more vulnerable one since he was used to keeping everything in.

“you really love me?” san said with a shaky voice, sniffing and letting the tears all fall.

“of course i do.”

“after everything?” wooyoung nodded his head, rubbing san’s back in comfort letting his actions speak more than his words.

–

walking thru the night again however this time there were no stars in the sky only the moonlight shining brightly on the two boys. san leading the way as always wooyoung holds his hand tightly watching san’s beauty which was illuminated by the moon. the first time they walked this path wooyoung was scared but now all his fear disappeared only because of one person. san looked back checking if he was doing okay, smiling at him just like he always does.

“we’re here.” san says, taking off his jacket to they wouldn’t have to sit on the floor. sitting down in front of the lake, san thought he’d be nervous but he wasn’t and he couldn’t explain why either.

“why did you wanna come here?” san asked, wrapping one arm around the other.

“i don’t know. i guess it’s just a very comforting place.” he answered laying his head on san’s shoulder, closing his eyes inhaling the fresh air. they both stayed silent again luckily it was never awkward. san leaned his head against the others looking out at the reflecting moonlight on the lake.

“can’t wait to go swimming in there again.” wooyoung said remembering the first time they were here again. everything seemed perfect back then but just like every other relationship things don’t always stay the same. once the ‘honeymoon – phase’ is over you gotta figure out how to make a relationship work with the good and the bad.

wooyoung looks up at san making eye contact with him, looking at the shining stars again getting lost in them like he does every time. his eyes slowly went down to his lips staring at them for a few seconds after he looks down, avoiding eye contact with san. he felt a hand holding up his face by his chin making him look into san’s eyes.

before he could even take a breath san has already kissed him with all passion and love he has. san couldn’t leave without showing him all his love one last time. his hand that was placed on his neck slowly moved down wooyoungs back , while wooyoung has his hands around san’s neck deepening the kiss. he knew it would be the last time they kissed.

pulling away san rested his forehead against wooyoungs, feeling his eyes water again.

“wooyoung i have to tell you something…” he said almost whispering while the tears from his eyes already met the ground.

“i’m sorry woo-”

“san, i know.” wooyoung said in a comforting voice. san was clueless he only looked at wooyoung who as well had a tear rolling down his face.

“what?”

“don’t worry about it. i know how you feel, don’t say it. i know you can’t handle it.”

san leaned into wooyoungs touch, feeling the others arms around him, rubbing his back just like this morning as a sign of reassurance and comfort.

“how do you know?”

“i figured it out and hwa told me to not get my hopes high.” san only sniffled, he felt relived knowing that wooyoung understands but at the same time he feels more hurt than before. he didn’t want to let wooyoung go but he knew it was the best for them.

“i’m sorry i hurt you tho all I wanted to do was making you feel all my love.”

“it’s fine. you’ll find someone else and you’ll be just fine.” wooyoung whispered wiping san’s tears away. the sight of him crying is painful but he doesn’t want to feel bad.

“i don’t wanna look for someone else.” san looked him in the eyes, he was scared that wooyoung would never want him back.

“i think this is a fated relationship.” san said recalling the time he said it before they even dated.

“let’s see if fate brings us together again, okay?” wooyoung lightly smiles tho he had countless tears falling down his face, being as much hurt as san is.

they stayed silent, progressing everything they just said letting the last few tears fall. wooyoung stood up holding out his hand for san to hold.

“let’s go.”

they walked out the dark forest, holding each others hands knowing this would be the last few moments they’re spending together. neither of them cried anymore, standing where their ways part wooyoung turns to san, looking up at the slightly taller boy.

“take care, sannie.” he said smiling at him. it was okay for them to go different ways, they’re both hurting but knowing that one day it’ll be better made it better.

“you too, woo.” smiling back at the other letting go of his hand. for the last time they looked each other in the eyes before both of them walked in two different directions.

wooyoung let a tear fall, wiping it immediately. he smiled for himself knowing that the last time he looked at san was the last time he saw his stars shine.

a/n

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