   The Lord only kissed me from time to time. He never went any further. The kisses were closed mouth, quick and chaste, but the memory of such moments would linger with me for hours afterward. I often touched my lips with my fingers, trying to mimic the feeling of his lips on mine while closing my eyes for a brief second.
   I wasn’t settled on how I felt about the arrangement. A part of me was pleased and wanted more, and a part of me was convinced I had already gone too far. Helping the Lord change and lingering in his chambers after everyone in the castle was supposed to be in bed were different now. He didn’t fail to smile at me when I helped him into his clothes, and sometimes he would push things—just a little. Enough to intrigue me, but not scare me. A brief hand on my hip. Pressing his cheek to mine. A quick hand rest on my chest through the fabric of my tunic.
   A sigh left my lips as I looked out at the stables. I was standing by Bessa, leading her about by her lease. Lord Evenus had told me that it was a good thing to familiarize myself with the horse I would be riding often.
   The winter was coming to an end, and spring was approaching. There was grass on the floor now, and the warmth of the sun was a thing again. Marie told me spring usually came with an increase in war and raiding campaigns, and that the Lord might have to leave for duty in the near future.
   The thought upset me, but I understood that it was his job, and because of it the village got to be safe. I looked out at the low thick mist that had built up over the hills and plains in the distance. It was still morning, and it was common for spring mornings to loom with the gloom of a fog sheet.
   I squinted when I saw a carriage in the distance heading towards the castle gates from the left. I watched, standing in the middle of the courtyard as I watched it come up. The servant at the gate talked to the driver before running into the castle. Lord Evenus was up in the west wing, and the servant was probably going to ask for permission to let the carriage in.
   What I immediately noticed was how lavish the carriage was. It was one of the biggest I’d ever seen. Unlike the ones in the Barcombe castle grounds that were dark and plain, the carriage was made mostly of metal and it had engraved and raised relief designs. The coach itself was large and closed off. It was round, and each end had a curled tip that broke into a vine design. The windows were small, and I couldn’t look in to see who was in it. I wondered what kind of person was inside such a thing—I had never seen so much wealth encapsulated in just one object.
   My eyes moved to the castle when I heard some shouting. It was the master. He had followed the servant that had gone to speak to him out. Lord Evenus was grinning from ear to ear and almost seemed to skip in the direction of the carriage. His hair was held back in a short ponytail, and he was wearing a Jerkin jacket over a smock and black breeches.
   The servant ran up ahead of him, opening the gates and letting the carriage to come in. I also noticed the horses were large and decorated in expensive regalia. The carriage didn’t move in the direction of the stables. It stopped right after it went past the gates.
   “Alan! I wasn’t expecting you!” The excitement in the Lord’s voice intrigued me, so I turned to the carriage, eager to see who would come out.
   A chubby man, who looked to be in his late forties or early fifties stepped out with a smile on his face. After him, came a lean person I couldn’t decide what gender to assign them. The person was in breeches, but a low line chemise top that hugged around the chest I couldn’t decide if it was flat or not. Their hair was long and pulled back into a French braid. Their stature didn’t give them away either— broad shoulders matched with a small waist and yet rugged-looking legs.
   “Why has the Count of Axminster paid me a visit?” Lord Evenus asked with a laugh when he reached the man and the person beside him.
   “I wanted to see how this place was doing,” the older man laughed, reaching out to hold Lord’s Evenus’ face before pressing a kiss to his cheek and letting him go. The man had a greying mustache, and I’m sure the condition was the same for his hair, but it was hidden under a hat.
   “Agnes, greet Evenus,” the man said, looking at the person to his side before looking back at Evenus. The person complied, reaching out to shake the lord’s hand.
   My mind clouded with brief confusion. The person that looked like neither a man nor a woman had a woman’s name. My eyes went wide as it dawned on me that this must be the Count’s daughter.
   I looked away, deciding it was time for me to hand Bessa to one of the handlers at the stable. By the time I had done that, the group at the gate had left for the castle, and the lavish castle was parked in one of the stables while the horses were attended to. Feeling a bit robbed of my poke nosing, I used the back to get into the kitchen. Marie was inside, running from place to place as he tried to get food on the handful of trays waiting on the stone slab.
   She paused, shaking her head as she gestured to the cupboards with her free hand. “Don’t just stand there, help me,” she said, making me blink before apologizing. I went about setting the tray like I had been taught to months ago. The master didn’t care, but it seemed Marie was being precise because of his guests.
   “The Count and his daughter are going to be staying here for a few days,” Marie said, and I froze. “It’s a long journey to Axminster. I doubt they’re staying here for just a few hours. You’ll have to help me get two guest rooms ready,” Marie muttered, running to the cupboards that held the nice glasses.
   “I’ll have to check the wine cellar to see if we have anything nice for them. Just set things up. I’ll come to inspect what you’ve done when I’m back,” the older woman said, holding up her dress before making the door that led to the underground cellar.
   With Marie away, I got lost in my thoughts as I performed my duties in an almost mechanic ritual. The Count, who seemed to be the Lord’s friend was extremely rich. I saw why Lord Evenus used his doctor. The Count’s daughter had been a shock to me. I’ve never seen women in breeches before—it would have given anyone, irrespective of how they worshiped a shock, but I guessed you could do anything when you had a lot of wealth behind your name.
   That fact fueled another thought in me. Since learning about the master’s persuasion towards men, I’ve wondered if he had the same thoughts as me—the same spiritual doubts. I knew his parents had been protestants taken by the church, and I knew Lord Evenus was praised by his people for being their protector because of his defiance of the church by not letting them impose anti-heretic laws on his land. If so, he wouldn’t believe in buying his way to heaven and clearing sins through indulgence signed by the church. That made the matter even more confusing. If he were just like me, in terms of how I worshiped and saw God, why didn’t he seemed phased by us kissing? Why didn’t he hold himself from reaching out to me the way he did?
   “You’re staring at the walls.” Marie’s voice made me jump. I turned to look at her, watching as she shook the glass bottle in her hand. “I found something!” she said, moving to place it on the tray in front of me.
   “Perfect,” she said, picking one up before nudging me to do the same. “Let’s go.”
   I carried two trays, and Marie carried one. I followed her out into the dining room, walking into the group of three who were chatting amongst themselves. The place was busier than it had ever been, and that said something, considering only three of eight seats were filled.
   I went about placing the dishes in front of them, and Marie made to open the wine. The Count and his daughter talked like we were invisible, but the Lord met my eyes with him now and again. Giving me a slight smile when I set his utensils for him.
   “There’s a ball we’re throwing in mid-spring.” The Count said, taking a drink of water from his glass. He had taken off his hat, and just like I had guessed his hair was grey. It was done in a short hairstyle that seemed curled up with poker rods. “You have to be there if you’re not on duty,” the man continued, raising his glass for me to refill it.
   “I’m not one for parties,” Lord Evenus said.
   The count groaned. “Ah, but there are lots of young open-minded men.”
   I froze, realizing the double meaning to that.
   “I’m not interested in that now, I’m afraid,” Lord Evenus muttered, looking over to me. He smiled a bit, and I looked away, tightening my grip on the water jug Marie had told me to hold before she left to grab a bowl of sliced fruit.
   “You, not interested? I don’t believe it.” The words were followed by a laugh that belonged to the Count’s daughter. It rang through the room, it’s clear tone reverberating. “Are you serious?”
   “I have a specific person in mind now. No time for games,” The Lord continued, picking at his food. My mind froze, and my hand gave way. The jug I was holding dropped to the ground, shattering into a couple of pieces. All eyes fell on me after that, and it didn’t help with my breathing.
   “A-apologies,” I stuttered. “I’ll go get a broom and a rag,” I said, before making a beeline out of the room.
   A female laugh rang through the hall as I sped walk away. “Are you seducing servants now, Evenus? Why you scoundrel!”
   Those were the last words I heard before venturing out of earshot.
Comment