   I took Lord Evenus’ advice and stayed away from the party games and drinking. The ballroom had been rowdy, and it was less of a ball and more of a discussion room with drinks and music. Occasionally someone would take a seat at the piano to play a piece. Lady Agnes often did, surprising me with her wide range and wonderful voice.
   As always, she was wearing breeches, and this time she had a long green doublet over it—that sat just above her knee. Around her waist was a bulky belt laced with jewels. She also had a black coat on, that sat on her shoulders with ends lined with rabbit fur.
   “Hello.” I turned in the direction of the voice, my eyes widening when I saw who it was. It was the man that had questioned me at church. He was dressed in high-class clothes and was holding a glass of red wine.
   “I didn’t expect to see you here, but I should have guessed seeing as Lord Evenus favors you,” he said, making me squirm. I looked down at my shoes, wondering what he was doing here.
   We were both at the far end of the ballroom, hidden by one of the many arches that stretched from the roof. It was also a bit dark, considering that it was late in the evening and the room had just a single chandelier, and multiple tiny candles to provide dim light to set the mood.
   “Huh, you still don’t want to talk to me.” I felt a shoulder nudge mine as the man’s voice grew closer. I remained still, not saying anything in hopes that he would take the hint and go away. I was starting to wish Lord Evenus was with me, but he had been dragged away by friends for a drink, and I had retreated to the shadows, hoping that I was well hidden, but apparently not.
   “I’m here with one of the Barons of a small village near ours,” the man continued to speak. He was leaning on the wall beside me now, taking a sip from his glass as he looked out into the hall. “Everyone here is a bit like us,” he said, and my face warmed up, wondering what he meant by that.
   Did he mean a bit like us in the sense that they lusted after the same sex? Because aside from that most people in the room were aristocrats and nobles, not lowly village lads like us.
   “It’s amazing how much of the laws you can bypass with money,” the man continued to speak, and I found myself looking out into the crowd, searching for what he was looking at. “Buggery is against the law, so is cross-dressing and blasphemy, but here we all are,” he said, and my eyes followed his gaze to Lady Agnes, and then narrowed on the two men sharing a kiss in the middle of their circle of friends.
   “You should be glad that Lord Evenus choose you,” the man said. “Don’t lose sight of him. He’s pretty popular,” he added.
I bit down on my lower lip, feeling myself itch to ask him a question. “How popular?” The words slipped out of my lips before I could catch them. The man looked at me from the side of his eyes, giving me a slight smile.
   “Ah, now you wish to speak to me,” he said, letting out a small chuckle before brushing back the hair from his face.
   “Lord Evenus is handsome. I think it’s a given that people want to be with him,” he muttered. “Besides, he’s been single since forever. Since his lover died,” the man whispered the last part and I realized he was speaking of Sawyer. It seemed that everyone within their circle in one way or the other was aware of their relationship.
   They must have been really open about it, or maybe they loved each other so much that they gave themselves away often by mere mistake.
   I gritted my teeth. I wasn’t sure why the latter option made me feel upset.
   “He hasn’t attached himself to anyone since,” the man said, looking at me again. “Maybe you…” he looked away, taking a sip of his wine.
   There was some clapping, and we both looked towards the piano. Lady Agnes by it again, but this time sitting beside was Lord Evenus. He looked a little drunk judging from the redness of his face and the loop in his smile.
   “Hmm, he hasn’t played the piano in years. I wonder what this is about,” the man whispered, taking a hold of my shoulder as he looked on at the raised podium with the piano. The light of the chandelier reflected off the piano’s gold casing, and Lady Agnes and Lord Evenus’ faces were touched by the yellow light of the candles.
   “I know I haven’t played in a while,” Lord Evenus announced, and my eyes skipped when he locked eyes with me. “But, for some reason, I feel like I have a reason to sing now,” Lord Evenus said, and I watched as Lady Agnes started playing a tune on the piano. Evenus started to sing, and the hall went quiet as people looked at him with glasses of wine in their hands.
   There was something about his voice that made me shiver. Maybe it was the clear baritone or the sweet love poem he had woven into a song. Sometimes he would catch my eye and I would look away because my chest squeezed up. A bit of me wanted to believe that all this was all for me, but another part of me was skeptical. It pointed out that he played music in his drawing-room all the time. It was possible to sing to someone who was dead, and so couldn’t help imagining the man from the painting sitting next to him, touching him, smiling at him—kissing him.
   A gasp left my lips when I noticed that a tear has dropped from my eye. I felt a hand squeeze my shoulder, and I raised my head, turning to lock eyes with the man who was standing behind me.
   “Is something the matter?” he asked, and I shook my head, not wanting to explain how months of insecurity was giving way at this point.
   “I know that asking you if you’re okay is the polite thing to do, but lad, do I hate being lied to,” he said, moving to hold both my shoulders now. “We should go somewhere else,” he insisted, and I was too tired to refuse. He led me out of the ballroom, helping me walk through the halls and eventually out the doors that lead to the garden.
   He sat me down on the slab of the water fountain, wiping my cheeks with the back of his palms before taking a seat beside me. He sat next to me in silence as I let the tears that were welling in my eyes to fall freely. The sound of water pouring from the fountain filled the void. I shivered, feeling the chill of the night wind.
   My eyes went wide when I felt a shawl being laid over me.
   “You seemed cold,” the man said, cocking his head to look at me. “My name’s Stephan by the way,” he said, offering me a smile.
   “Manfred,” I managed to letter.
   His smile widened. “I already knew that.”
   I frowned, narrowing my eyes at him.
   “You seemed interesting, so I asked someone back in the village, but it was sad to see that Lord Evenus already claimed you,” he said. The sound of the Lord’s name made me gloomy again. I didn’t even care about Stephan and his fixation with me.
   “Why the long face? Don’t you like the Lord?” he asked, scooting closer to me until our breeches were touching.
   “I do,” I muttered. “That’s why it hurts,” I met out, and Stephan hummed.
   “When I went to serve him in his castle, I told myself that just being by his side was enough, but then he reached out first and I couldn’t say no.” I nibbled my lower lip, staring down at the grass. “And now I love him so much that I’m scared. I’m jealous of a dead person, Stephan.” I said, admitting it out loud for the first time. I was jealous of Stephan. I was jealous of the fact that the Lord was still in love with him after over ten years.
   Sometimes I wondered if the lord even loved me. He hadn’t really said it directly. It had slipped into his writing in the letters, and I admit I had jumped a bit when I saw myself being addressed as “my love.” As much as that gave me hope, I was still skeptical. It was possible to have lovers without being in love with them. What use was having the Lord’s body if he wouldn’t give me his heart?
   “Oh dear,” Stephan said, making me look up at him. “Why don’t you just talk to him about how you feel?” Stephan said, and I looked down at my lap.
   “I’m afraid,” I admitted. “I would be asking him to choose between me and Sawyer, right? I think he’ll choose Sawyer.” I replied and Stephan stared out into the garden.
   “Does he still have Sawyer at home?” he asked, and I frowned at his question. What did he mean by having Sawyer at home? “Because that’s how you can gauge if he’s still in the past,” Stephan continued, leaving me confused.
   “I don’t know what you mean…” I trailed, watching as he touched his beard. “Is Sawyer buried on the castle grounds?” I asked, but I didn’t recall Barcombe castle having a burial ground.
   “No, and I don’t mean buried,” Stephan hummed. He seemed to be gauging how much was enough to tell me. “If he hasn’t told you yet, then I don’t think it’s my place to,” he said, and my lips turned down on a frown.
   “I’ll give you one hint,” he said, raising a finger.
   “Okay,” I let out, feeling my heart pump faster. I needed to know anything I could.
   “The drawing-room,” Stephan said, and my face drained.
   The one place Lord Evenus told me not to enter. I knew he had been hiding something from me, but I hadn’t known for sure that it involved Sawyer.
   “I must be going. I hope you can find your way back into the building,” Stephan said, taking the shawl from my shoulders before wrapping it around himself and walking away.
   As the sounds of his footsteps faded into the distance, one question rang in my head:
   What’s in the west wing?Â
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