Atlas Toren -20-

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Magnus POV

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I think- I think we were all in shock. And Atlas could tell. No one dared to stop him as he ran up the stairs because- that- that was a lot.

I mean- we haven’t heard a new person’s story in a while- and we were expecting something like that- but- but nowhere near the level Atlas’s story was on. No wonder he was so careful around us, and alert.

I thought he was just scared. Maybe he is. “So- do- do we go after him?” A shaky voice murmured. Niko.

“I- yes.” I decided. I didn’t want Atlas to be alone after what he had told us. We all sat there for another minute though- I think just trying to process his story.

After a bit, I stood up, clapping my hands, as I always did. Everyone’s faces, red, puffy eyes and all turned to look at me, and I motioned for Arlo, Colten, and Riftyn to follow. I didn’t think the others would want to come.

But numerous pairs of footsteps followed me up the stairs. Mhm. Just as I had taught them. They were choosing to come anyway. The warm feeling that had started blossoming in my heart came to a halt as we entered Atlas’s room.

There were quiet sobs coming from the bathroom. The locked bathroom. Shit. We should have known. Taking his knives away wasn’t my priority after yesterday. It should have been.

I wish it was. A small part of me hoped I was assuming wrong- and he was just crying. But he didn’t even respond when I knocked quietly on the door. “Atlas? Can you- can you open the door?”

The crying continued, and my ears pricked as I heard something on the floor. Something metal. Arlo heard it too. And when he started trying to force open the door, I didn’t stop him. We needed Atlas out of there. And I knew Arlo wouldn’t hurt him.

Atlas must that heard the banging on the door. He must have. But he didn’t stop anything. I looked behind Arlo and I to see the others.

Milo, Niko, Ever and Cyrus were all huddled up on Atlas bed, whispering things to each other, and I watched as Milo sniffled a little, before raising his hand and wiping Niko and Ever’s tears. They were the only ones crying though.

Cyrus was hugging them them, letting them rest their heads on him, while Colten rubbed their backs soothingly.

I whipped my head back around to the door as it burst open. Arlo almost fell inside, panting heavily. I moved past him, further into the bathroom.

There- there was blood on the floor. The mirror. The shower. I- there was blood everywhere. I looked down, and my eyes widened. Atlas was slumped up against the cabinet, palms over his eyes, probably trying to wipe away tears. “I- I’m sorry”

Fuck. I couldn’t stop him. Again. Swallowing back the guilt eating at me, I shook my head with a strained smile. “Come on little one. Let’s- let’s get out of here,” I whispered, and I lay a hand on his back as Arlo picked him, resting him on the bed beside the others boys.

They all looked at Atlas with worried eyes, before scrambling to get water and bandages. Niko stayed beside him, clasping his hand in between both of his own, kissing Atlas’s forehead once in a while.

This shouldn’t have happened. If- if I had been more careful- we wouldn’t be here right now. I should have- I should have remembered to take the knives away.

Wait- the knives- I glanced back to the bathroom to see Colten picking them all up, a sad expression on his face. He met my gaze, and his eyes widened. Dropping the knives into a tin he had brought up, he raced over to where I sat. “Hey- it’s not your fault. You couldn’t have known,” he murmured, with a kind tone, and wrapped his arms around me.

“I- I know-” I choked out, before returning my attention back to Atlas. I sighed in relief as the blood stopped staining the bandages, before leaning over him. “We love you so much little one,” I whispered, pressing a light kiss on his lips.

Atlas’s eyes were closed by then, but his hands curled a little over Niko’s hands, earning a soft smile from me.

We all slept in Atlas’s room that night. I think we just wanted to make sure he was okay. I was fine with it. I wanted to as well.

Blankets and pillows were sprawled over the floor and the bed, and when I awoke, I could already imagine all the aches the guys would have, from their random sleeping positions. My eyes landed on Atlas, and I mumbled a little to myself, wiping the sleep out of my eyes, before heading over to him.

Laying my head lightly on his chest, I chuckled a little as he groaned. “Get… off me” Turning my head to look at him, I was met with his forest green eyes. Beautiful.

“Huh?”

Oh. I said that out loud? “You’re beautiful.” I told him, ignoring the small smile blossoming on my face, instead focusing on the light blush dusting his cheeks. “I- I’m sorry-“

“Stop. Don’t be. We’ve taken the knives now anyways. The cuts weren’t deep, and they’ll be gone soon.”

Atlas nodded slowly, before moving to get up. His brow furrowed. “What?- it- it doesn’t hurt?”

I nodded gently. “Milo’s brother- he’s a nurse. He gave us some medication- it’ll heal them faster- it looks like its already working.”

I watched as a small smile worked its way up onto Atlas’s face. “O- okay.”

“Now. Whenever you want to cut-” Atlas inhaled sharply, and I pressed on. “What’s something that could distract you?”

Atlas eyes darted about the room. “I- I don’t know-“

“Okay, how about- would you want to make more bracelets?”

Atlas shook his head.

“How about reading?”

“I- I already do that a lot- it wouldn’t help, I don’t think,”

“Mhm. You said you watched anime?”

“Uh- yeah?’

“Could you start learning Japanese? To distract you?”

“I already- I already know Japanese.”

My eyes lit up at that.

“Oh! Okay! How about- you could try and write something- or talk to someone in Japanese- it should distract your mind from whatever’s wrong?”

“But- no one will underst-“

Mhm. Cyrus- he understands Japanese. But- Atlas doesn’t need to know that just yet. If I tell him, he’d only ever go to Cyrus- and I don’t think Cyrus should have to carry all that by himself.

“That’s okay. We’ll listen anyways.” I interrupted, and Atlas looked up at me.

“You- you would?”

Aw. This poor, adorable boy.

“Of course we would. We care for you more than you realise. We lo-“

I cut myself off before I could say anything more. I hadn’t spoken to others about it. Last night- that was okay, because I don’t think he heard it, but still.

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Chapter 21