Atlas Toren -24-

Atlas POV

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I never… I never thought I’d ever be this happy. When I was with my father- everything just seemed to be going downhill. 

Suicide clouded my mind one too many times to count. And glancing around at the guys around me- my boyfriends, I mean. 

God. I’ll never get used to that. Its been running through my head half the day. But I think I’m happy here. I’m trying. 

Which I guess I never really did back home.

But the scars remind me. Of everything. They’re the one thing I can’t get rid of. 

Part of me wonders if some of the others have scars too. Probably not. They’re all beautiful. Gods, the lot of them. I sort of wish I could be like them. 

So carefree. Happy.

“Hey.” I blink at the fingers snapping in front of my face. “You’ve got the look on again.” Niko.

But just that comment made everyone go silent. “What…’look’, Niko?” Arlo’s voice rumbled through the room.

I stared at the ground as Niko shivered. “N- nothing.”

Arlo marched over to him. “Nothing?”

The uncertainty was basically radiating off Niko at this point. It’s probably my fault. I shouldn’t have let anything onto my face. Shit. I hope he’ll be alright. 

They almost never fight. But Arlo doesn’t sound very happy. My fingers fiddled with each other in my lap, and I resumed biting the skin off my inner lip. Making it bleed again.

 Magnus’s hand shot out, grabbing mine, before placing another on my jaw. My face was turned towards him as I tried to shy away from the worried look he was giving me. 

“Don’t… don’t bite your lip,” He mumbled, and one of his hands reached up to brush my lip. I exhaled shakily, before my attention was back on Arlo and Niko. “What. Look.”

Arlo was bending over Niko now, a grim expression on his face. But- the more I looked into it- it seemed… pained. Disappointed. Mhm. 

Maybe he knew. Niko had his eyes squeezed tight, shaking his head firmly. Huh? He wasn’t going to tell them? I continued watching Niko, and saw a flicker of a thumbs up. 

The warm feeling was back now. But it seemed Arlo had noticed too. Eyes narrowed, he turned back towards me. “Atlas? You going to tell us?”

I didn’t show him my reaction as he asked me, but firmly shook my head. The blood continued to flow out of my lip. Magnus’s hand was still gripping mine.

 I didn’t dare back away as Arlo strode towards me. Leaning down, his eyes flickered between mine and my lips, before he grabbed my shoulders. 

“You’re going to have to say at some point.” He warned me lowly, and I glanced behind him. To see Niko pointing at himself with a questioning glance. Ah. He wanted to tell Arlo. 

“I-”

Sending Niko a small smile, he interrupted me. 

“I’ll tell you.” He declared, and my eyes almost widened at his boldness. Arlo huffed a little, before dropping down beside me. And grabbing my other hand with a tight hold. 

“Emotions?” I turned to see Magnus whispering in my ear, and I nodded a little. Right. This- this would take a little getting used too. I couldn’t just pretend not to feel anything anymore. I’d be okay.

“It-” My eyes flicked back to Niko as he began. “It was the same look you had, Arlo. You know… the- the- I can’t describe it!”

The others nodded in agreement, and I felt both Magnus and Arlo shift a little beside me. “Right… kitten,” I drew my gaze back to Magnus. “Do you… have you ever been diagnosed…. Are you….”

“Depressed.” I deadpanned. I already knew what was coming. Magnus’s eyes widened a little, before nodding hesitantly. “Sorry- this is a sensitive subj-“

“No. It- its fine,” I gripped his hand a little tighter. “It doesn’t bother me anymore.”

“Why… why didn’t you tell us?” Arlo’s voice was soft now, and I savoured the moment.

“I didn’t think it would matter that much,” I told him quietly, and he glanced at the ground.

Everyone was listening now. We were all huddled in a small circle, and I could see Colten drawing little circles on Riftyn’s back. 

The windows had been opened up, and a cool breeze ruffled everyone’s hair. It was quiet. I let out a small exhale, leaning back into the couch behind me, closing my eyes.

I didn’t really think this would be a big deal. I mean- I think I’m past it now. But it seems to mean a lot to the others. Even more so now that Magnus was leaning towards me. 

“Have- I know that you uh- cut- okay- what I’m trying to say- ask- is have you ever… tried to comm-“

Right. That’s what he was getting at. Took him a while- but, still. “Uh- yeah…?”

The others stared at me. My eyes widened as I held up my hands in defence. “Geez- sorry- I know that’s not good- but you don’t all have to look shoc-“

“No. No. We’re not shoc- okay, well, maybe some of us are, but- how do you tell us so… nonchalantly?”

Oh. That’s why. Colten looked at me with a watchful gaze, probably gauging my reaction after his question. “I- it never really bothered me, I guess. No one- no one really cared anyways so-“

“But we care.” I glanced up at Cyrus’s firm words.

“I- what?”

Milo pinched the bridge of his nose. “That’s what we’ve been trying to say, dumbass,” He shook his head a little, a small grin on his face. I raised my eyebrows. “Dumbass?”

Milo wasn’t paying attention anymore, instead trying to smother his laughs in Niko’s shoulder. Narrowing my eyes playfully, I got up as silently as possible, and crept over to him. 

Leaning down, I motioned for the others to stay quiet, and they watched with questioning gazes. I silenced my breathing as I drew closer. 

Reaching my hands out towards him, I grabbed his waist. I smirked as he flipped around to face me, before wriggling my fingers. “Wait- aha- Atlas- aha- stop-“

The smile on Milo’s face as I tickled him made the warm feeling come back, and soon enough, a wide smile broke out on my face. His loud laughs filled the room as he tried to run, instead bumping into Niko, who pulled him back.

 “This- ahaha this is- aha- bullying-” He gasped between laughs, and glancing around, I watched as everyone else slowly began to laugh too.

The room was filled with the happy sounds of us all laughing, and it- it made me welcome. Choosing not dwell on the thought of when I wasn’t, I let up on tickling Milo, instead rolling on the ground beside him. 

The room reduced to a small chuckle, and soon I was looking up to see Colten hovering over me. I tilted my head in confusion, and he let out a small smile, before reaching down to me. Wrapping his arms around my waist, he pulled me up, and my feet lay softly on the floor. 

“Jump.” He murmured, and as I did, he pulled me further. I snuggled my face into the crook of his neck, basking in the warmth, and wrapped my legs around his waist.

My breathing slowed as I felt him move around, and slowly bring us both up the stairs. I didn’t dare look up as I heard a small camera sound, but sent a glare behind Colten’s back.

 Riftyn, who caught the glare, chuckled a little, before grabbing Cyrus’s hand and dragging him up behind Colten and I.

The bed was warm as Colten lay me down. And then sat down beside me. “You alright kitten?” He whispered, and I nodded sleepily. “Mhm.”

He hummed in acknowledgement. I should talk to Colten some more. I’ve talked to the others- not so much Colten though. 

He seemed to know how my thoughts were racing, and he sighed contentedly, laying down beside me, and the bed dipped as the others joined too. 

I closed my eyes as his fingers raked through my hair, lulling me into a sleep.

“Oh? Does the weakling think he’s safe now? Pathetic.” I stared up at my father with wide eyes, fully alert. Fuck sleep. I was about to get the fucking beating of my life. 

“You lost again.” He didn’t even say any words of encouragement. But that was to be expected. “N- no” I replied shakily. 

He always hated it when it when I didn’t respond. I had the scars to prove it. And the red, dry eyes, too. 

“Get the fuck out of bed. I don’t know why you’re still there.” He snarled, and I nodded quickly, before ripping the covers off. 

And coming face to face with him.

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A/N

aghfjkd sorry i didn’t update for a while- i was away, and couldn’t do anything in that time. anyways, thank you so much for reading!

i swear, i was checking my phone- and it made me so happy when i saw all the reads an votes!

you guys honestly mean so much to me, and i really love being able to write this and have people enjoy it <3

if you could, please vote- you can always undo it- 

or don’t

i’m already happy that so many people are reading it, so it doesn’t bother me too much if you don’t vote

here’s some tea 🍵,

Kasumi