Behind The Limelight 37: Angels And Demons

“Mhm,” Ashton hummed sleepily. “You stink.”

“Good morning to you too, meu anjo,” Ryker said, kissing Ashton’s forehead.

Ashton replied by groaning in annoyance, as he tried hard to stop the corner of his lips from rising upwards in a smile. He snuggled closer to Ryker, his head resting on the other man’s chest with his arms wrapped around his waist in a tight grip.

Ashton was glad there was no pillow between them anymore.

“You’re so cute in the mornings,” Ryker whispered, running his fingers through Ashton’s hair before trailing his hand down to Ashton’s face. He pulled Ashton’s cheek, making Ashton tilt his head in an attempt to try and bite Ryker’s fingers. “Okay, I take back what I said. You’re no angel. You’re a little demon cat.”

“I like cats,” Ashton commented.

“Why don’t you get one?” Ryker asked, and Ashton finally opened his eyes.

“I don’t know,” Ashton muttered. “I’ve always wanted one. Huh. I actually really don’t know why I’ve never gotten one.”

“We can head to a shelter whenever you think you’re ready to get one,” Ryker offered.

“Good idea. I’ll get a cat and leave you there,” Ashton replied.

“Is that so?” Ryker rose a questioning brow. “You’d be okay with someone else taking me away, then?”

“Shut up,” Ashton mumbled, turning around and shifting even closer to Ryker, almost lying on top of him as he hid his face in the crook of the other man’s neck. Ryker couldn’t help but chuckle at Ashton’s antics.

“We should get up soon,” Ryker spoke. “We have work today, just in case you forgot.”

“I remember, asshole,” Ashton groaned. “Go make me pancakes, peasant.”

“What do I get in return?”

“My company.”

“Nah,” Ryker smirked. “Not good enough.”

“What do you want then?” Ashton asked.

“I want you…” Ryker paused, trailing his finger down Ashton’s neck to his lower back, causing the fellow actor to get goosebumps.

“Me?”

“To tell me your hair care routine,” Ryker finished. “Did you get a new conditioner or something? They’re so soft.”

“If I don’t get pancakes I’m going to kick you out,” Ashton stated.

“It’s my house, you know,” Ryker retorted. “You can’t kick me out of my own house.”

“You really want to test me?” Ashton shot back. “I think by now you should be aware of what I can do.”

“Alright, alright,” Ryker chuckled. “I’m scared. I’ll get you your pancakes, your majesty.”

“With blueberries.”

“Noted, sir.”

After a particularly long shower that was taken together in an attempt to save water, Ryker made breakfast for the two of them. Ashton helped, if by help one meant sitting on the counter and barking out orders. He justified it by claiming that he was management.

They didn’t have much time to waste after that, so they quickly ate the food. A part of Ashton was contemplating calling up his driver to take him to work, not knowing what people would think if he showed up to the set with Ryker.

But when he looked at the other man, who had a soft, happy smile on his face the entire time, he simply could not do that to him. He knew that would hurt Ryker, even if he wouldn’t admit it, and it was something that he wouldn’t have minded doing a few weeks ago. However, things were different now. Just the thought of seeing Ryker in pain was enough to cause a sense of emptiness in Ashton’s chest.

Ashton’s couldn’t pinpoint the moment everything changed. It was a slow and gradual process, but the end result was that Ashton had found himself falling for the man he called his rival not too long ago.

Ashton gulped. Did he just think he was falling for Ryker? He must be going insane. There could be no other reason.

Ashton tried to divert his mind as they got in the car. Malcolm was coming back today from London, and the two had planned to go out for dinner. That was something to look forward to.

Until Ashton remembered his last conversation with his agent. Malcolm was going to want answers, and Ashton couldn’t lie to him. Besides, he and Ryker were treading on dangerous waters. Tabitha had already figured something was going on between the two. Even Parker, someone he had met for the first time suspected that they were together. Ashton wondered who else thought on similar lines.

As Ashton’s agent, Malcolm needed to know this detail that could very possible derail Ashton’s life if it got out. And as a friend and father figure, Ashton wanted to share it with the older man too.

“We can just say your car broke down and I gave you a ride,” Ryker said as they pulled into the parking lot.

“I have six cars,” Ashton deadpanned, his lips pressed in a straight line. He unbuckled his seatbelt, before turning sideways to look at the dark-haired man. “It’s alright. I don’t really care what people think.”

That was a lie. Ashton cared too much about what others thought. He was a people pleaser. In his case, he was a crowd pleaser too. He could just imagine the tabloids losing their shit, his face being plastered everywhere with headlines like ‘Ashton Archer! Gay!?’

He could imagine tweets from the public discussing his sexuality. Decoding his life as if they knew everything about him. As if he wasn’t a real person, but a character.

He could also imagine the name calling and slurs. The loss of fans. Looks of suspicion from people around him. He could maybe even lose some of his sponsorships. Who knows?

“Ash, hey,” Ryker spoke softly, a confused frown on his face. “Calm down. What’s wrong?”

Ryker tried to pry Ashton’s fingers open, he had enclosed them in a fist, his nails digging deep into his palms and leaving crescent shaped marks. He hadn’t even noticed that he was doing so.

“Nothing, nothing,” Ashton shook his head dismissivly, “I’m just being an idiot again. Overthinking about stupid shit.”

“You’re not an idiot,” Ryker said. “I know I call you one all the time, but you’re not an idiot right now. Whatever you’re worrying about…I’m sure it’s valid.”

“You don’t even know what it is,” Ashton muttered.

“I can take a guess,” Ryker replied, a sad ghost of a smile on lips. “We’ll keep our distance at work, okay? And in public. Don’t worry. Everything’s going to be alright.”

“How are you so cool and collected about shit?” Ashton questioned. “Aren’t you worried about what people will say if they find out you’re bi?”

“I’ve had time to come to terms with who I am,” Ryker answered. “The only reason I’m not public about it is because it’s none of their business. But if I had to be out in the open with a man then I wouldn’t be ashamed or afraid to do so either.”

“I wish I could be like that too,” Ashton said. “Be like you.”

“I like you for who you are,” Ryker stated. “Besides, all this is new to you. Trust me, I was shitting my pants in the start too. I’ve had years, Ash. Years to deal with all of it. It makes complete sense that you’re feeling whatever you’re feeling. It’s okay to be scared, it doesn’t make you weak.”

“Then why do I feel weak?” Ashton whispered.

“Because you’re an idiot,” Ryker spoke. Ashton looked up at him, an expression which yelled ‘really?’. Ryker let out a light laugh. “I’m kidding, Ash. But on a serious note, you’re not weak. Far from it. Just know that whatever happens…I’m right here by your side. And I’m not going anywhere.”

“Fuck you.”

“Huh?”

“Fuck you for making me hate you less and less by the day,” Ashton mumbled. Ryker grinned at the other man’s words, making Ashton narrow his eyes at him.

“I’m going to take that as a win,” Ryker said. “Now come on, we’re going to be late. Don’t want people to be suspicious.”

“We’re actors, Ry, it’ll be suspicious if we aren’t late.”

All Ashton could think about during work was Ryker. He sneaked glances every chance he got, his cheeks flushing a light pink whenever his eyes met Ryker’s. They turned a brighter red when Ryker flashed his signature, charming smile.

Ashton almost lost his shit at Ryker’s shirtless scene, but instead of staring at the other actor, he was glaring at everyone that was. If looks could kill, half the crew and his co-actors would be dead.

As Ashton got his make-up done, his mind wandered to Ryker’s confession. He hadn’t had any alone time to think about it. Really think about it. And each time he tried to, he simply could not believe that Ryker had feelings for him. It wasn’t even a small crush, but Ryker told him that he loved him.

Love.

A word Ashton had reserved for very few people. He could count them on a single hand.

Ryker said he didn’t care whether Ashton loved him back or not. He didn’t ask for an answer. He was okay with Ashton not reciprocating. He wasn’t pushing Ashton to make a decision. To be with him. To date him. To come out for him. He wasn’t rushing Ashton. He was taking time, not for himself, but for Ashton.

Maybe, just maybe he truly did love Ashton. Why else would he be so patient and selfless?

“Ashton!” Tabitha exclaimed, breaking his chain of thought.

“Tabby, hey, listen I wanted to talk to you about—”

Ashton wanted to apologize. He also wanted to admit to Tabitha that she had been right about him and Ryker. He didn’t know why, but he trusted her. And for some reason, he really wanted to tell someone the truth. Maybe that would make things seem real. Even waiting till his dinner with Malcolm felt too damn long.

“We can talk later, I just ran into your mom!” Tabitha spoke with an excited smile, but on the other hand Ashton’s face fell, becoming devoid of color as he paled.

“She’s— she’s here? On the set?” Ashton asked.

“Yeah, I saw her talking to Erick and went and said hi. She’s such a lovely woman!”

Ashton couldn’t help but roll his eyes. His mother was a master manipulator, no wonder she was able to make Tabitha, along with the entire world, believe that she was a decent human being and not the…terrible person and parent that she truly was.

“Oh.”

“She’s waiting for you in your trailer, told me to tell you there’s some emergency?”

“Right,” Ashton muttered, not buying it. “Thanks. I’ll go see her.”

To tell her to leave me the fuck alone, Ashton thought. He couldn’t believe that she showed up at his workplace. Actually, he could believe it quite easily. A restraining order sounded pretty good right about now.

Ashton power walked outside to his trailer, the door to it was slightly ajar, he was about to pull it open, but stopped in his tracks when he heard two voices talking inside.

His mother and…Ryker?

***

roughly 7-9 chapters left, I can’t believe it’s already coming close to the end ;-;