Behind The Limelight 38: Pawns

“—you told me that he already knew,” Ryker paused. “I came over to tell Ash that I was offered the role he wanted. That I already told them no because there was no way in hell I would ever do that to them. But you…you said he knew and that he wanted me to accept it. You lied to my face!”

“Just let it go, that was a long time ago, Ryker,” Rebecca stated with an annoyed sigh.

“That’s irrelevant! Ash hates me even now and it’s all because of you! Why would you do that?” Ryker exclaimed, running his fingers through his hair in disbelief. “Ruin the only friendship your son had. Why?”

“He was starting to stray. He needed a push to work harder and that’s exactly what I did,” Rebecca Archer said. “Until you ruined it by faking an injury and letting the role land right in his lap.”

“I didn’t fake an injury,” Ryker muttered, looking away.

“What’s the point of lying now? Especially to me?” Rebecca shot back. “I know you faked it.”

“Whatever, that doesn’t fucking matter,” Ryker brought up the main topic again, not letting Rebecca change it. “What matters is why? What was the point of all this?”

“Don’t you see I made both of your careers? You both were constantly the topic of all the gossip because of your rivalry! I kept you on the news. And then you messed it all up by going on a break and Ashton sabotaged his career by his absolutely terrible choice in movies,” Rebecca explained. “That boy never really had an eye for good things.”

“Seriously?” Ryker could not believe what he was hearing, and neither could Ashton. “I lost the person who mattered the most to me because you wanted to play games?”

“This is real life. Not games, Ryker. This is how the industry works,” Rebecca said. “But it seems like you’re just as ungrateful as my son for everything that I’ve done for both of you.”

“What should we be grateful for? Your blatant manipulation?” Ryker retorted.

“You kids these days are way too sensitive,” Rebecca mumbled. “You don’t understand how the world works, which was exactly why I had to step in.”

“I completely understand why Ash doesn’t want to see you or talk to you. You might’ve won several best actress awards but you’re never winning mother of the year,” Ryker said as he let out a bitter chuckle.

“Oh god, you’re too dramatic even for my taste. Do you not realize how much I have done for you both? The whole rival arc is such fabulous promotion! You two used to be everywhere. Fan wars to fan fictions…this is what made you. I made you.”

“I’m going to tell Ash everything,” Ryker stated.

“And you think he’s going to believe you? Sure, he must hate me but he doesn’t have any love for you either,” Rebecca challenged. “If anything he’s going to think you’re lying and will despise you even more.”

“I can still try…” Ryker’s voice was hesitant. Rebecca was cunning. She knew exactly what to say. She knew how to make Ryker hurt. Insecure, even.

Sometimes Ashton wondered if she was the devil incarnate.

“Just give it up, Ryker. Ash is not worth it. Use the relationship you have with him for your own gain. Go have an argument with him in public, shove each other around a bit. Watch how that boosts up your movie promotion! You’ll have lines outside threatres.”

“You’re sick,” Ryker spat.

“I’m smart,” Rebecca snapped back, before continuing in a softer tone. “Despite what you might think, I only want the best for you both. You’re like my son too, Ryker.”

“I’m not falling for your crap again. I know the kind of per—”

That was all Ashton could bear to listen before he turned around and walked away.

Ashton did not know where to go. The only place he could have any privacy was his trailer, but that was currently occupied by his mother and Ryker. He did not trust himself to be able to act fine in front of others, and he really needed some space. He could only think of one place where he could go to be alone. Since Ryker was in his trailer, that means Ryker’s would be empty.

So Ashton went inside there.

Ashton paced from one end to another, running his hand through his hair as he tugged on the strands in frustration.

He could not believe it.

Not that his mother had a hand in his falling out with Ryker, he could believe that very well. It was on brand for her, and for her delusions of grandeur to make her convinced that her acting like a puppet master was for everyone’s good.

What he could not believe was that he had been stupid enough to fall for it all. He remembered that he wanted to confront Ryker, but his mother had filled his head with ideas that Ryker was only using him to make contacts in the film industry. That Ryker was using him to get his break, and now that he had gotten it, he had thrown Ashton aside like the trash that he was.

That was all she would say. That Ashton was dumb enough to think that Ryker had been a true friend. That he wasn’t just some back-stabbing weasel trying to make his name by stepping over others.

And the saddest part was that Ashton believed her. He used to worship her back then, every word she said was like the Bible.

His self worth was already broken, and this instance shattered it completely.

He was an idiot for believing his mother. An idiot for not giving Ryker a chance to explain himself. Instead he just cut him off, cursed him each time he came across him, until he pushed him away for good.

Just like that, Ashton lost the one real thing he ever knew.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” Ashton muttered to himself, sitting down on the couch as he tugged at his hair harder. “How could I have been so blind?”

Ashton’s eyes started watering, one by one the tears dripped down his face. Ryker had already apologized to him so many times for his actions, but what had Ashton done? He had insulted him. Constantly. He had been so consumed in this well crafted hate that he could not see what was right in front of him this whole time.

Ashton’s body was shaking. He felt hot. He could hear his heart beat like drums in his ear. His lips were trembling and the tears were now streaming down his face uncontrollably. His fingers were still gripping his hair, tightly.

Ashton was breaking down.

He was so lost in his head that he did not even notice when the door opened, or when Ryker called out his name.

“Ashton?” Ryker spoke again, but Ashton could not hear him. Ryker rushed to Ashton’s side, wrapping an arm around the other man. Ashton didn’t say anything, he simply leaned to Ryker’s embrace.

Ryker rubbed his hand up and down Ashton’s back, trying to sooth him. He gently removed Ashton’s hands from his hair, untangling his fingers from the strands as he kept placing kisses on top of his head.

Ashton did not know how long they stayed like that, with Ryker whispering sweet words of affirmation in Ashton’s ear as he held him. Finally, after what felt like an eternity, Ashton’s trembling reduced, his breathing slowed down and so did his heart rate.

Ryker grabbed tissues from the side table, handing them to Ashton. Ashton took them wordlessly, cleaning away the remnants of the tears and sweat on his face.

“You scared me, Ash,” Ryker said, his voice tender. “What happened? Talk to me, baby. Please.”

“I heard you talking,” Ashton whispered. “To my mom.”

“How much did you hear?” Ryker asked.

“Enough to know that I’m the biggest fucking loser in this entire world,” Ashton let out a bitter chuckle. “She played me and I fell for it. She ruined everything and…and I can’t even blame her. I was the one stupid enough to believe her. I never should have. I should have had faith in you. In us.”

“Ash, you can’t blame yourself,” Ryker replied.

“How can I not?” Ashton raised his voice slightly. “It was a silly fucking misunderstanding that could have been cleared in two minutes but I— I never gave you a chance to explain what happened! I never heard your side and I just jumped into hating you.”

“We were young, Ash. Kids. We both made mistakes but at least we know the truth now,” Ryker said. “We can put all of it behind us. Start afresh.”

“I’m so sorry, Ryker,” Ashton spoke, his voice low and soft. “I was so fucking stupid. All I had to do was let you speak and listen to you but I… you were right. I’m too stubborn for my own good and I ruin everything. I broke our friendship.”

“It wasn’t just a silly miscommunication, Ash,” Ryker said gently, frowning as he looked at how dejected Ashton was. “It was a well crafted game by your mother.”

“But it could’ve been cleared up so easily!” Ashton replied. “But I… God, I acted like an idiot. We were just pawns in my mother’s game.”

“You’re not the only one who’s at fault here, Ash,” Ryker sighed. “How I acted didn’t help make things better either. Going after all of your girlfriends… I was an asshole to you.”

“How can you even love me?” Ashton questioned. “After how I’ve treated you. I’m not— I don’t deserve it. I don’t deserve you.”

“Hey, you listen to me now, okay?” Ryker’s voice was stern now, as he held Ashton’s face to make the fellow actor look at him. “I don’t give a fuck. I love you for the stubborn little shit that you are. Are you impulsive? Sometimes a little stupid? Sure.”

“Excu—”

“But that only makes me fall for you harder. You keep me on my toes. You challenge me. And you may not see it or admit it but I know how fucking pure your heart is, alright? I know how much you care. I know how thoughtful and kind and compassionate you are. Do not ever say you do not deserve my love. Because you deserve so much more and I can only hope that I can give it to you.”

Ashton stared wordlessly at Ryker as he finished his rant. He blinked, in shock of what Ryker had just said. He parted his lips to say something. Anything. But no sound came out. Ryker sighed, speaking up again to break the silence.

“Ash, I swear that—”

“If you’re done with your monologue then can you shut up and fucking kiss me now?”

***

well, who expected that, huh?

question: which celebrity comes to your mind when you think of Ash and Ryker?