Lucas brought them to the corner of the dining hall, the furthest spot from Mandy and Linda. Aiden noticed Lucas checking him as he took each bite.
“It’s really good.” Aiden said, “Even if these look terrible.” He picked up a long string of carrot. A string of carrot. He didn’t remember cutting that.
Lucas grinned. “It tastes better than usual.”
Aiden returned the close observation he was under with a watchfulness of his own. It was okay. When they looked at the same time and their eyes met it wasn’t awkward. It didn’t make Aiden feel uneasy, because Lucas looked like he was in a good mood.
“I usually have leftovers.” Aiden put down his fork on an empty plate. “Or frozen pizzas, or instant meals.”
Lucas took the empty plates and moved them aside. He glanced at Aiden, as if urging him to go on. Aiden did.
“Lily’s three, all she eats are sausages, porridge and smoothies.”
“Smoothies are good.” Lucas said.
“Lily doesn’t share.”
Lucas smiled. Maybe at the idea of a three-year-old keeping food away from her older brother. Maybe he thought Aiden was joking. He wasn’t.
“I never learned to cook.” Aiden looked away from Lucas’s eyes. He examined his blue hoodie, read the ‘Michigan College’ slogan, and then studied his hands. Long fingers. Veins that stood out in uneven bumpy lines over his knuckles and onto his arms. Different from Evie. “What do you make for your mom?”
“Fry-ups. Pancakes. French toast. Pasta Bolognese. Soup. Stew.” Lucas listened slowly, “Lasagne once.”
“Why only once?”
“I gave us food poisoning.”
Aiden chuckled. “Good job.”
Lucas propped up his elbow on the table and leaned his chin against his hand. His leg moved forwards and rested against Aiden’s. “It wasn’t funny when it happened. I’ve never felt guiltier then when mom got sick.”
“I imagine all the other dinners make up for it.” Aiden said.
“You should come over.” Lucas said, “Bring Lily, and your dad. I haven’t seen him in forever. I’ll cook for you.”
“I hope it won’t be lasagne.” Aiden remarked.
Lucas’s finger tips brushed over the back of Aiden’s hand. “I’ll make you French toast. It was your favourite when we were small.”
Aiden stared as Lucas drew circles along the back of his hand, felt between the line of his knuckles, then slid over his fingertips.
“Lily doesn’t like French toast.” Aiden said. His face was hot. And his calf, where Lucas’s leg pressed against his. And his stomach. His stomach was doing a weird thing. But especially his hand.
“She can have sausages.” Lucas said distractedly. He took Aiden’s other hand and turned it over. He focused on the fingertips. “Do you play violin with both hands? You have calluses on either side.”
“When I started neither left nor right handed felt natural.” Aiden stared the hardened bumps in his fingers. Once they’d stopped hurting, he’d always liked them. He thought it showed how much work he put in. How many hours he spent learning each song. Even if he still struggled with the tune, he had these bumps to show he’d tried. “I play left handed now.”
“Can I hear you play?” Lucas asked.
“I don’t like playing in front of people.” Aiden wanted to squirm in his seat. He wanted Lucas to stop touching his hands. He wanted Lucas to touch him more.
“I won’t look.” Lucas laced their fingers together and spoke in a soft, persuasive voice, “I’ll sit in the next room if you want. I won’t ever mention it, if you don’t want me to.”
Aiden knew Lucas was watching him. He knew Lucas had to see the deep blush in his cheeks, and he could probably feel the racing pulse against his fingertips. Unless he was an idiot, he’d know why he was like this. Even if Aiden wasn’t sure.
“Why? Do you like violin music?” Aiden asked. He stared so hard at their woven together fingers, it probably looked like he was glaring.
“I’ve never listened to it.” Lucas said, “But I’d like to hear you.”
Aiden heard Evie’s short snort of laughter outside. He slowly pulled his hands out of Lucas’s and put them on his lap. “Okay.” He agreed, “I’ll play you something.”
Lucas hands stayed where they were in the middle of the table, splayed out, as if reaching for Aiden.
*
“Dad and I are going camping for a few days.” Evie reported, “He wants to explore further up the mountain.”
Aiden put her tea on the counter and leaned against it with his coffee. She was waiting for Connor to get out of bed. Aiden was waiting with her.
“There’s a storm meant to hit on Thursday.” Aiden said. “Be sure to be back by then.”
“Dad knows.” Evie nodded. “We’ll head back Wednesday night.”
“Just make sure you don’t forget.”
“Worrier”
“It’s my job.” Aiden shrugged, and Evie smiled.
A door opened and they both looked down the hall. Kal came out. He gave them a dazed ‘good morning’ and turned on the kettle.
Evie looked him over but turned back to Aiden. “After the storm I was thinking we could go camping for a few days.”
Kal raised an eyebrow at them.
“With Connor.” Aiden added, shooting him a look.
Evie looked between him and Kal. “Yes, with Connor. Double the fun, you know?”
Aiden shot her a look, and she smiled widely at him.
Kal left with his cup of tea and returned to his room.
Aiden watched the back of his head. Great. “You know he’s not going to forget that.”
“I don’t know him.” Evie shrugged.
“And I have to go to school with him.”
“It’ll be good for your rep.” Evie stated, “Oh, there’s the kid who had a threesome, how cool.” She mimicked a twelve-year olds excited voice.
“Or, didn’t that guy have sex with Lucas’s brother?” Aiden did the same voice.
Connor cleared his throat.
Lucas was next to him. He looked between Aiden and Evie, and his gaze landed on Aiden. It was sharp. Demanding an explanation for what he’d just said.
“We’re planning our camping trip.” Evie said.
“She’s joking.” Aiden said quickly. He met Lucas’s gaze. The sharpness was still there, but the severity of his expression lessened.
Connor noticed that Aiden was reassuring Lucas and not him. “Sounds like an interesting trip.” He said, “I’m in.”
Aiden wished Connor hadn’t said it like that. Lucas didn’t like it. He was hiding it, but Aiden could tell. Or he was deluding himself. He didn’t know which. He felt weird. “Do you want to come?”
Evie and Connor both looked surprised, but not as much as Lucas. The sharpness was eradicated from his expression. And something more than surprise was there. Lucas’s eyes were wide like he’d just been blindsided by something massive. Something important.
“Okay.” Lucas said quietly, his eyes searching Aiden’s face. He wondered what expression he had. He turned his attention to his coffee and took a sip. Lucas glanced at Connor and Evie. “Is that fine?”
“I don’t mind.” Evie shrugged.
Connor took longer to answer. He met Aiden’s eyes before he gave his nod. “Why not? Haven’t spent much time with you since we got here.”
In the awkward silence that followed, Aiden felt like they were all thinking about how obvious he was. How idiotic. How stupid. He knew he was.
“Any plans for today?” Lucas questioned. It was addressed to all of them, but he looked at Aiden.
“Connor and I are going kayaking with the other group.” Evie answered. She slid off of her chair and went to the sink next to Connor. Aiden noticed her shooting Connor a grin, and Connor mouthing something back to her. It looked like ‘I know’.
Aiden’s chest started to get hot. Really hot. He turned his back to them and stared at the window into the woods. Maybe he’d play outside today. It was a nice day. He could-
“What about you?” Lucas moved in front of his line of vision.
“I don’t have anything planned.” Aiden said.
“Maybe we could do something together then?” Lucas suggested. His green eyes were that deep shade they got sometimes. Aiden found it hard to look away.
“Maybe.”
Lucas followed Evie and Connor with his gaze until they’d left. If they said goodbye, Aiden didn’t hear them.
He was being weird. He was being weird. He was, wasn’t he? Awkward and on-edge. He couldn’t behave normally. He couldn’t remember what normal around Lucas was meant to be.
“How about a walk?” Lucas moved next to Aiden and stood close enough that the backs of their hands brushed together. Aiden could see his face turned towards him out of the corner of his eye.
“Is there any you haven’t done yet?” Aiden asked as he put down his coffee mug. He couldn’t even take a sip. He didn’t think he’d be able to keep it down.
“I’m not sure.” Lucas fingers played with the soft part of Aiden’s wrist, and then he slid his hand down to twine their fingers together.
Aiden looked down. “How about Woodluck trail?”
“Doesn’t sound familiar.”
“You’re only meant to go up it with a guide. It’s a good few hours hike. We’d have to bring food.” Aiden explained. He felt Lucas’s breath on his cheek. He was watching their hands too. Or maybe it was Aiden he was looking at.
“That sounds perfect.” Lucas said.
“When do you want to go?” Aiden asked.
“I’m ready now.”
Aiden flicked his eyes up. It was their hands Lucas was watching. The tops of his cheeks were pink, and his eyes were even darker than before. “Me too.”
Lucas must have felt Aiden watching him. He looked up. Their eyes met. And then Aiden was being kissed. Or maybe Aiden had kissed him. He wasn’t sure. He only knew that their lips were together. Lucas cupped his cheek, and he tasted like mint.
Aiden wondered what he tasted like. Coffee probably. He wondered if Lucas liked coffee. He hoped he did.
Aiden pulled back and struggled to take in a deep breath. Lucas kept a hold of his hand. Aiden looked at him. His shoulders rose and fell sharply. He looked slightly disorientated, and searched Aiden’s expression. Aiden didn’t know what he was looking for. A bad reaction? Disgust? Repulsion?
Aiden didn’t see that in Lucas. He didn’t see anything bad. He didn’t know what Lucas’s expression meant. He didn’t look embarrassed. Aiden didn’t feel embarrassed either.
He wished he knew what Lucas was thinking.
“I’ll get us lunch from Cabin one.” Lucas said, stepping away from him. “You go put on hiking gear.”
Aiden watched him through the window. He moved out of view, and Aiden’s stomach sank. He was struck with the feeling that he’d just done something bad. Like he’d messed up. Like he’d have to face consequences for his actions.
He half expected to see Hugh’s angry scowl when he turned. But the hall was empty. Nobody had seen them.
Aiden got changed. He heard the front door open and close while he was still in his room.
He sat on the bed. He wanted to cancel. He wanted to tell Lucas he’d made a mistake. He didn’t mean to kiss him. It was only because he was curious. That’s it. He wasn’t different. He wasn’t…
There was a light knock at his door.
Lucas had changed into boots, tracksuits and a light jacket. “Ready?”
No. No. No. Aiden swallowed down the dread clawing its way up his throat and nodded. “Ready.”
A/N: I know I said I’d only update once a week for now since I’m busy, but I ended up writing instead of doing work. Hope you enjoy. 🙂
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