CHAPTER FOUR;
i scream out loud just to see if i’m alive
â”â”â”â”â”â”â”â”â”â”â”â”â”â”â”â”â”â”â”â”â”
It would be an extreme understatement to say you’ve messed up, because you did. Mess up, that is, as you often seem to do these days. Really, when have you not messed up?
The world is an unforgiving place, and you, like many others, are prone to errors. But this? This is truly just awful. You’ve never seen anything more awful in your life. Astoundingly awful. The most awful to ever awful. The awfulest.
You suppress the ugly sob that threatens to escape your lips.
“Dude, it’s just a bad hair day.”
You swerve around with a scowl, prepared to hurl the nearest object at Louis’s face, before realizing that it would probably be a waste because Louis is currently ghost-boy extraordinaire. “What do you mean, just a bad hair day? Just?!” you repeat his words with venom. “Stop lying, you asshole! You think I can’t see you trying not to laugh?!”
Louis smirks as he gazes at you, and then, at your reflection in the mirror.
“Pfft. I mean… it could be worse.”
It’s like your hair’s been commandeered by birds and transformed into a full-fledged nest—a bad one at that.
“Stop laughing! I can’t let Jude see me like this. Not when this is my last appointment with him before leaving the hospital. Last impressions are important! Well, last as in ‘days before I probably meet him again’, ugh, you know what I mean,” you angrily mutter, trying your best to fix up your hair once more.
You fail. Again. Because the universe weirdly hates you, apparently.
Oh, your poor innocent soul. You don’t deserve any of this. You don’t deserve such an abomination of a hairstyle at all. Is this some sort of karma or something?
As you despair over your hair, Louis responds with a gaze that vividly screams disappointment, “Right. Jude. I’d prefer not to see that freak ever again, actually. But I doubt I can somewhat stop a lovestruck idiot like you.”
“Oh, Louis. You just don’t see what I see,” you reply wistfully.
“Yeah, ’cause you’re blind as fuck.”
“…Damn Louis, you suck.” Oh, hey, that kind of rhymes. “Anyway, this mess is all on you, so I think an apology is in order to make me feel better. Go ahead, you can start now.”
Louis merely blinks, utterly ignoring you.
“Any second now would be great.”
He snickers. “Nah, no thanks. It’s not my fault you’ve spent five months moping around in the bathroom and still can’t fix your hair. In fact, I’ll be honest, your stupid hair looks even worse now.”
“Five minutes.”
“Whatever. It felt like months anyway.”
You flash him the beauty of your middle finger right in his face, then quickly pretend to fix the nearest object as you suddenly hear the door to your room swing open.
“Mr. [Last Name]?” A woman calls out to you monotonously, dressed in pearly white. Definitely a nurse. Her gaze flickers to your hair for a moment, but you do your best to appear unfazed.
“Is there something wrong?” you ask.
She shakes her head. “Doctor Jude is ready to see you for one last brief appointment in his office. Normally, he would visit you here, but he insists it’s fine to do it in his office instead because of your close… friendship with him,” she says, her confusion growing with each word.
You share her confusion, of course. Since when did you and Jude become close? Or, for that matter, him and Louis? Is it possible that there might have been some plot changes before you ended up here?
“If you’re done packing, then please follow me.”
“Okay,” you respond quickly, as there’s really nothing to pack. You can’t even find your phone—which has mysteriously disappeared. All you have are the now-cleaned clothes you were wearing the day Jude’s car crashed into you, a wallet, and the keys to Louis’s home.
Following the nurse, who wears a perpetually bored expression, and with Louis trailing closely behind you, the three of you soon arrive at the highest floor of the hospital. Only one word comes to mind as you look around the place: fancy.
If you recall correctly, the hospital where Jude works is a non-profit facility owned by a charitable organization established by Jude’s grandfather. Suffice it to say, Jude is likely the most influential person here, given his skill and status, and most probably had no trouble at all covering your medical bill.
[ NAME ]
guys is it weird to think that
im glad it was Jude who hit me with his car
and not some other
poor, broke individual
[ SYSTEM ]
Umm, we all have our tastes, I suppose
( â¸â¸’ê’³’â¸â¸)
[ LOUIS ]
freak
The nurse knocks on the door, and then leads you into an office that seems far too big for a doctor’s workspace. You remember Neil’s description of Jude’s office, but seeing it in person is… something else. The panoramic windows are so enormous they offer a sweeping view of almost the entire town.
“Ah, [Name]. Finally. You look as well as I’d hoped. I trust you’ve slept well?” Jude greets you with a warm smile from his desk, his glasses perched slightly askew on his nose. “You may go now, Nurse Delvic. I can handle the rest.”
As the nurse takes her leave, you reflect on how last night went.
Did you sleep well? Sadly, the answer to that is a resounding no. It was impossible to rest with Louis endlessly chatting up the system, each message pinging like a drum in your ear. Louis wasn’t even asking about anything important! He was just firing off questions about his popularity in the novel’s fanbase compared to Jude’s and Enver’s.
And if anyone’s wondering how that went, well… Let’s just say that the endless rants coming from Louis’s messages are answer enough.
“I slept well enough, I guess,” is how you decide to answer Jude as your eyes keep roaming around the room. “Your office is… big. Like, really big.”
Jude nods as he takes off his glasses and sets them on the table. “Yes, it is. Many have said that. Since I spend most of my days here, I thought it best to make it as comfortable as possible. It’s become something of a second home to me, I suppose. Though, honestly, it feels more like home than my actual home.”
“Oh? What’s so wrong with home?” you ask, even though you already know the answer. You’re well aware of the situation, but Louis definitely doesn’t have that harrowing piece of information. In fact, only Neil is supposed to find out about it—later on, that is.
“Nothing your pretty head should concern itself with, [Name].”
Aw, man. Utterly rejected. And here you were thinking you might have a chance to get closer to Jude… Wait, did he just call you pretty? Did you hear that right?
Sensing your joy, Louis interjects from behind you like the devil himself, bursting your bubble with an evil laugh: “He’s mocking your hair, not complimenting you, you moron!”
Well, damn. There goes that fleeting moment of very small happiness. Thanks a lot, Louis.
“Um, so, uhh…” you begin, sitting down in front of him. Jude gives you a calm, encouraging expression, prompting you to continue. “What did you call me up here for again? Are there documents I need to take care of? Do I have to sign something?”
“Oh, nothing like that. I’ve already taken care of all of those silly things. There’s no need to worry.” Taking something under the desk, Jude then slightly slides a familiar item to you. Woah, it’s your… phone?
As you take the phone into your hand, inspecting it, Jude continues, “During the crash, your phone screen was completely shattered, so I took it upon myself to get it fixed before returning it to you. Now seemed as good a time as any, right?”
“Yeah, it sure is. Uhh, thanks, Jude,” you say, still quite unsure about this whole thing. Completely fixated on the phone, your fingers move to turn it on.
Now, you don’t have the best memory in all of humankind, but you’re pretty sure that on the day you transmigrated to this world, you had a small argument with the system because this phone was locked and only Louis knew the password. But this phone Jude gave you back… has no password at all?
“What did this freak do to my phone?!” Louis screams as he watches you scroll aimlessly through the empty contact list. “It’s a complete reset! Neil’s number is gone too! This sneaky bastard!”
You try your best to maintain the most neutral expression ever as Louis hovers over Jude as intimidatingly as possible. Ah, like a harmless, floating Pomeranian. Intimidating, indeed. “Jude, it seems like a lot of data is missing,” you say carefully, watching the handsome doctor’s reaction and ignoring the ghost beside him.
Jude looks at you apologetically. It seems genuine enough. “Is that so? I only had the screen crack fixed, so I truly have no idea how something like this happened,” he answers, and you nod, believing him wholeheartedly. ‘Cause there’s no way someone as handsome as him would lie to you. Right?!
“Oh, I see. Must’ve been an error then, huh?”
“Yes. It would seem so. Oh, but do tell me if I can help you with anything else,” he says before his eyes suddenly brighten. “Ah, actually, could you pass your phone to me for a moment? I’ll give you my number so you can call me whenever a need arises, [Name].”
You blink owlishly at him.
“But aren’t you usually, you know, busy?”
Not only is he a doctor, but Jude is also one of the people running a hospital as big as this one. How the heck is he going to find time for you? If anything, that time should be going to the protagonist of this story.
As if sensing your worries, he gently takes one of your hands resting on the table into his warm, tender grip. You nearly flinch, suddenly too aware of the scent of Jude’s pheromones enveloping you in mock comfort. It’s almost overwhelming. Almost.
“No worries, [Name]. I’ll always have time to spare for you. It’s the least I can do since I’m the reason this whole thing happened in the first place. If I had just been more careful,” Jude pauses, his gaze drops in what seems to be shame.
“I am a doctor. My job, my purpose, is to save people’s lives. But, because of me, [Name], you…”
Ignoring Louis’s murderous look from the side, you squeeze Jude’s hand and offer him a small smile. This is definitely out of character, but oh well.
“Hey, I’m alive, aren’t I? Then all is fine. Well, at least for now, I guess. Besides, you paid for my hospital bill and all that. I couldn’t have done that without you.” Especially with your currently quite empty wallet.
“All is fine, you say?” Jude lets out a soft sigh, and squeezes your hand back.
As Jude’s gaze returns to you, you notice something odd. Something that wasn’t there before. His grip tightens slightly, but not enough to hurt—just enough to make you feel trapped.
His gaze seems sharper now, inscrutable. The amber color of his eyes dark and bottomless, almost like a predator ready to pounce. You can’t find it within you to look away.
“I don’t think that’s true, [Name], and I’m sure even you have noticed… that some things are not fine.”
Oh, shit. What is he talking about?
You stay silent, your mind racing as Jude continues, “Ever since the accident, you’ve been acting different. Too different from how you previously conducted yourself. Even your pheromones are… off. And I can’t help but wonder if I’m the reason for it.”
Your throat tightens as Jude’s grip on your hand remains firm but not painful. It’s like he’s holding onto you for dear life, waiting for an answer.
“I—I don’t know what you mean,” you stammer, trying to keep your voice steady, but you can feel the anxiety bubbling up.
Besides, pheromones? Was there really an issue with them before? Crap. Maybe there is. You can’t really tell on your own, given your unfamiliarity with them, and Louis certainly can’t smell or sense them either to notice if anything’s off.
Jude tilts his head slightly, watching your every move. “If even you yourself haven’t noticed, then perhaps this is a more dire circumstance than I originally thought. And that simply cannot do.”
“Uhh.”
Suddenly, Jude lets go of your hand, but if you thought you were off the hook, you were dead wrong. Instead of giving you room to think, Jude stands up and walks over, leaning over you, crowding your space. His arms trap you in the chair, his gaze intense as he looks down on you.
A distant part of you bristles at this sudden shift, alarm bells ringing at this strange turn of events.
“What are you doing…?”
Jude merely smiles in response, a calm but unsettling expression. He leans in closer, his face just inches from yours, and in a panic, you immediately turn your head to the side, your heart thundering inside your chest.
You can feel his quiet chuckle vibrate against your neck. Steady, even breathing.
“…Your instincts should be telling you to fight back by now, you know? To bite, to scratch, to push me away. The two of us are alphas, and yet, somehow,” Jude’s fingers gently brush a loose strand of hair behind your ear, “you aren’t doing any of that. Hmm? I wonder… why the sudden change, [Name]?”
Maybe you should have tried harder staying in character because, fuck, you have no clue what to say to all of that right now. And why the heck is Louis being so silent?!
“Umm, maybe it’s because of the… car crash?” you answer with the vaguest tone imaginable. Even you aren’t convinced by your own response, but oddly enough, it seems like that’s exactly what Jude was hoping for you to say.
His eyes light up, as if your answer just confirmed something for him.
He chuckles softly, then releases you, stepping back with a bright smile. “Haha! Right? I thought so too. Which is why I believe I should take some responsibility in fixing you back, hm?”
His voice is as calm as always, yet Jude’s words leave no room for argument. Against all odds, you find yourself nodding in agreement, despite the unease settling in your chest.
“Take care of yourself, [Name]. And in one week’s time, come here again so I can give you another check-up. Don’t be late, okay? Doctor’s orders,” Jude says with a playful wink, though the undertone of seriousness lingers.
“Haha. Okay. I’ll be going now. Bye!” you say hurriedly, gathering your things as quickly as possible.
You bolt for the door, not daring to look back, though you catch a glimpse of Jude cheerily waving goodbye as you rush out of the room.
If you had stayed a moment longer, you would have noticed that Jude’s eyes never left the door, his gaze lingering long after you had gone.
“Oh, [Name].” He hides a grin beneath the palm of his hand, the expression cold and feral, yet dripping with want and desire. “How utterly adorable you’ve become.”
â”â”â”â”â”â”â”â”â”â”â”â”â”â”â”â”â”â”â”â”â”
!! author’s note !!
five months gone and what do i give you?! …tbh idk what this is, this is just writing practice before i get into the meat of things LMFAO hope you guys enjoyed it nonetheless, thank you for waiting for soooooo long for this mess (i miss writing this chaotic mess of a main character). i have somewhat returned after being hit by a massive writer’s block, hopefully more chapters soon heehee. if you saw any misspellings or errors this chapter uhhh no you don’t!! your eyes are merely playing tricks on you hehe. okay bye bye now love y’all mwah <33
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