Dead Plate Oneshots My Feisty Boyfriend

I think I should confess that sometimes when I use French names for places or establishments I give them the most ridiculous names I can think of. I don’t do it everytime tho

Rody wasn’t a guy who made enemies. In fact, he generally avoided confrontation so thoroughly that most people in his life probably couldn’t imagine him in an argument.

The problem was, his boyfriend Vincent had enough fiery temper for the both of them—and a strong belief that if Rody wasn’t going to stand up for himself, well, *he’d* have to do it for him.

“Rody,” Vincent said, his sharp French accent slicing through the air as he squinted at the waiter, “I’m certain you ordered *chocolate* sprinkles. Not rainbow. You asked specifically.”

Rody tried not to groan. Here they were again.

“It’s fine, babe,” Rody murmured, rubbing the back of his neck. “I don’t even like sprinkles that much, really…”

Vincent turned to him with a look of absolute scandal, his eyes flashing as he jabbed a finger toward the unfortunate waiter. “You heard him, he doesn’t like sprinkles! You can’t just go handing people *random* sprinkles, like some kind of sprinkle anarchist!”

Rody was already making apologetic gestures to the waiter, trying to smile through Vincent’s tirade. “Sorry, sorry! Really, he’s just passionate…”

But Vincent was on a roll, and no amount of Rody’s awkward grinning was going to stop him now. He placed his hands on his hips, throwing his head back dramatically. “In this establishment, there is such a thing as *respect,* is there not?” he said, his voice getting louder by the second. “If a man orders chocolate sprinkles, he gets *chocolate sprinkles.* Anything less is a crime against humanity.”

“Sir, it’s just sprinkles…” the waiter stammered.

“*Just* sprinkles?” Vincent’s voice went up a whole octave. “Ah, but if he had asked for just ‘anything,’ we wouldn’t be here, would we?”

“Vin,” Rody interjected, trying to tug him back to the table. “Vin, babe, it’s—no one cares about the sprinkles, and that’s okay. See, I’ve already finished half of it…”

But Vincent huffed, throwing his arms up as if the waiter had personally insulted his family lineage. “Rody, it’s the principle! I’m not going to sit here and let someone *deny* you your sprinkle preferences!” He looked back at the waiter with renewed fire. “Do you understand?”

“Vin, please,” Rody murmured, stepping in front of Vincent and gently grabbing his shoulders. “Why don’t we just… take a walk and let the sprinkle thing go?”

Vincent squirmed, still muttering angrily, but Rody knew he’d won when Vincent’s face softened, just slightly, into a pout. He lifted Vincent right off his feet—easily, as though he weighed nothing—and practically carried him out the door, nodding apologetically to the waiter all the while.

Once they were outside, Rody set Vincent back on his feet, giving him an affectionate pat on the head. “You know, if you keep starting fights over sprinkles, there won’t be any cafés left in Paris for us to go to.”

Vincent sniffed, looking pointedly away with his arms crossed. “I just hate when people treat you badly. You’re too nice to stand up for yourself.”

Rody laughed and slung an arm around Vincent’s shoulders, steering him down the sidewalk. “Trust me, *chocolate* sprinkles aren’t a threat to my honor. I’ll survive.”

But it didn’t end there. With Vincent, it never ended there.

Two days later, they were at the bakery around the corner, and Rody—having learned his lesson—was perfectly content to order his coffee without any extras. Simple. Easy.

Except that Vincent noticed the barista hadn’t smiled.

“Excuse me,” Vincent began, leaning over the counter with an expression that promised confrontation. “I don’t know if you’re aware, but my boyfriend just gave you his order with the most *polite* smile I’ve ever seen, and you barely even looked at him.”

The barista blinked, visibly startled. “Oh, uh—”

“Oh, uh—what? Do you think he’s not worth smiling at? Is that it?” Vincent had leaned halfway across the counter by this point, undeterred by Rody tugging lightly on his arm. “Do you *know* how rare it is to see someone like him in this world? He’s a national treasure!”

“Vin,” Rody mumbled, trying not to die of embarrassment, “the coffee’s fine. We don’t have to do this every time.”

“Yes, we *do,*” Vincent insisted, looking at Rody as if he’d just suggested they abandon all standards of human decency. “You deserve to be treated like royalty!”

The barista looked so baffled that Rody just gave him a sheepish smile, muttering apologies under his breath. He placed his hand on Vincent’s shoulder and gently guided him away from the counter.

But Vincent, of course, was still huffing indignantly. “I’m serious, Rody! You’re too kind for your own good. I bet you’ve been letting people get away with this *your whole life.*”

“I really haven’t,” Rody replied, doing his best to keep a straight face. “Though I can’t say anyone’s been so passionate about my coffee orders before…”

The very next day, Rody was ready for another peaceful outing, this time to a local bookstore. All he wanted was a quiet afternoon perusing the latest releases.

However, within five minutes, Vincent had already marched up to the cashier, his eyes blazing. Rody sighed and braced himself.

“Excuse me!” Vincent snapped, pointing accusingly at a “Buy One Get One 50% Off” sign. “What kind of offer is that? Half-off the *second* book? So you’ll charge *full price* for the first? Highway robbery!”

The cashier looked up, visibly nervous. “Uh, well, that’s just how the sale works…”

“Oh, that’s how the sale works, is it?” Vincent folded his arms, frowning. “So the common man can’t even read two books without getting swindled?”

Rody facepalmed, then quickly leaned over and whispered in Vincent’s ear. “Vin, it’s a sale. No one’s trying to rob us. Can we just… please?”

Vincent whipped around, still frowning, though his gaze softened as he looked at Rody. “I just hate seeing you taken advantage of.”

“You mean by a bookstore promotion?” Rody raised an eyebrow, smirking.

Vincent flushed and looked away, muttering, “Yes, exactly. This whole establishment is a scam.”

At this point, Rody didn’t even bother asking Vincent to leave politely; he simply picked him up, threw him over his shoulder, and walked out with an apologetic wave to the cashier.

And, like every other time, Vincent sighed dramatically, but he didn’t really resist, instead folding his arms and pouting on Rody’s shoulder as they left.

“You know, this ‘overprotective boyfriend’ thing of yours is gonna get us banned from every store in Paris,” Rody teased as he set Vincent back down outside.

Vincent shrugged, still pouting. “I can’t help it if I’m the only one in this city who cares enough about you to stand up for your rights.”

Rody laughed, pulling Vincent into a hug. “As much as I love the idea of you being my personal defender… maybe we could take a break from threatening cashiers over bookstore promotions?”

Vincent huffed, rolling his eyes but smiling as he tucked his head against Rody’s shoulder. “Fine,” he said, “but only because you asked.”

And, though Rody knew Vincent’s promises about “being calm” were about as sturdy as a paper umbrella in a rainstorm, he’d take it. At least until the next incident.

Also some oneshots that will never be published cuz I couldn’t figure out how to progress them.

1: Manon and Vincent were in a longtime relationship but then Vincent figured out he was gay. They broke up and Manon blames Vincent for not coming out sooner and wasting so much of her time.

2: Vincent adopts and raises a kid. The kid takes a ancestry test and finds his birth family. Vincent let’s him reach out to them and the kid starts spending a lot of time there. Eventually the kid asks Vincent to sign over his rights so he can be with his birth family.

3: This one was basically just porn without plot so I decided to never publish it. Basically it’s just about how Rody likes ver stimulating Vincent because he thinks Vincent looks cute when he’s quivering.

These are some of the many oneshots that I abandoned