Demonslayer X Male Reader Oneshots Giyuu x Reader

Thanks @tereanceaoiana for the request!
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‼️self h@rm‼️ (don’t force yourself to read something you’re not comfortable with)
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Unease swirled through my whole body as I walked in a kind of trance around the butterfly estate. This feeling of dread had yet to leave me no matter what I did to try to chase it away. It was as relentless as waves and showed no mercy to the space in my head that was full of spiraling thoughts and never ending sadness that ran a bit too deep.

Somehow I was still walking even as dizziness threatened to knock me over. It was best to quickly find a way to catharsis as quickly as possible before the intrusive and traitorous thoughts won out. If I was correct through my mind haze, Giyuu should be somewhere nearby if my memories weren’t trying to mess me up along with my sense of direction.

He always seemed to know what to do for each situation I found myself in. Certain times he’d pull me in for calming cuddles while other moments we spent in separate silence while he gave me the space I needed to reel myself in to want to be touched again. Through it all, he was like an instant drug that would pull me back to earth and away from my wandering thoughts that have already proved to be dangerous before.

The mere idea of falling back on my old habits brought an anxious shiver through my body. I couldn’t let myself do those things again. I’ve come so far and had the ability to maintain self control when the impulses grew too strong. If Giyuu ever found out the horrible instincts I had and what they once did, I know it would only drag him down and I couldn’t let him know. It could be the death of me.

Out of muscle memory, I tugged at the sleeve at my wrist to make sure it was fully pulled down. Luckily the marks left behind by a toxic headspace were mostly faded but if you happened to stare a bit longer than necessary, you’d be able to see the faint outlines of a deep helplessness that couldn’t be fixed in time. It’s why I still covered up my arms and other parts of my body to make sure there was no way of anyone finding out even after the worst of it had passed.

“Y/n, I didn’t expect you to be here,” Giyuu’s calm voice called out softly as a hand intertwined with mine lovingly. I looked to my side in surprise to see his handsome face tilted back to me with deep eyes of beauty. I gave his hand a gentle squeeze as I fought back the tears pricking right behind my eyes. I could keep myself together long enough to not raise his suspicions just yet. He’d probably find out soon enough though. He was good at that.

“I was looking for you actually and figured you’d be somewhere nearby,” I tried to smile, feeling my lips wobble the slightest bit when my voice broke pitifully. His shoulders immediately tensed as he perked up, eyes growing wide in concern as he stepped in front of me to grab my other hand and pull it to his chest reassuringly. I felt a ripple in the dread and emptiness, a brief moment of peace washing it all away.

He brought both of my hands to hold between us before resting his forehead against mine. He knew I was craving contact and affection in the way he pressed a few light kisses on my cheek and nose, making sure to avoid my lips so that I could catch my breath without feeling suffocated and becoming panicked.

“Y/n. What’s that?” his voice suddenly dropped. I tilted my head in confusion at his tone. He sounded almost fearful, something I’ve rarely heard in Giyuu’s calm voice. When my stare lifted to look at what I thought he was pointing out somewhere nearby, I found his eyes glued downwards…between us where my hands were still wrapped with his. Right where my sleeves had slipped a bit without my notice.

There were a few beats of tense silence as my heartbeat kicked up to an uncomfortable speed that left me even more lightheaded. Panic flooded my system, all my other emotions drowned in the ringing in my ears like a siren telling me to run. Out of reaction, I tried to yank my hands away from him without any luck as he stared wide eyed at the scar peeking out from behind my haori.

When he reached out slowly, still holding one of my hands captive, I thought I would cry out but I was strangely silent in the utter shock of my sleeve daring to fall down enough to expose me and my deepest secret. There wasn’t anything I could do as he gently took hold of my sleeve, lifting it up tenderly before he sharply inhaled at the sight. The sound was enough for my tears to spill down my face and soft cries to rack my body.

“Y/n…why? Oh god,” he whispered shakily as his hand trembled where he gripped my sleeve harshly. It was clear he was hurt, confused even as his own tears ran down his face. I wasn’t sure how to respond to that because it had been a decent amount of time ago. Sure enough though, the memories of those terrible helpless moments where I wasn’t properly thinking through my actions rushed back to me.

“I’m so sorry. I should’ve told you sooner but I couldn’t. I’ve been getting better and figured it wasn’t important to know. Please don’t be angry,” I cried, feeling even more faint than before. Giyuu pressed against me, holding me up as he wrapped his arms around my body desperately. I rested my head on his shoulder, sobbing bitterly now and incapable of stopping anytime soon. It was like all those painful years were coming back with a vengeance…except this time I had Giyuu to help defend me.

“I’m not angry, y/n, I’m not angry with you. I just wish you never got to that point where you thought it was the only thing to help,” he whispered gently, cradling me against him reassuringly. He pulled away just enough to look me in my eyes. I was still shaky and overcome with shock still to fully breathe. All I could do was thank that he wasn’t angry or aggressive like I knew was ridiculous but a terrifying idea all the same.

“These look older at least but please promise me you’ll come to me first if you ever get these urges again. I want to help you work through them before you do anything. I’m here for you, even for this…especially for this,” Giyuu breathed out steadily. I could only nod in my daze, clinging to him as if he was my lifeline. It was a possibility that he was for all I knew. Ever since he entered my life, the awful thoughts had become quieter or at least showed up less often. And now that he knew the truth of it all, I could count on him to help me work through the aftershocks that still threatened me.