Demonslayer X Male Reader Oneshots Mitsuri x Reader

Thanks @Chiaki_BestGirl for the request!
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There was a deep sadness that was blossoming into anger just boiling under my skin. I had failed and that had cost a life that I will never be able to get back. That was someone who wasn’t going home like I had the privilege to do right now.

My hand clenched the sheath at my side in helplessness. I’d have to report what had happened including my inability to properly slay a demon. The thought of what disapproval awaited me made me want to vomit. The hashira would realize what a waste of space I was, a monster, surely kicking me out of the demon corps without a second thought. In all honesty, I should’ve never been appointed as a demon slayer in the first place.

I could feel the bitter tears welling up in my eyes as I furiously rubbed them away, my vision blurring momentarily at the force of my actions. I had to be getting closer and if I didn’t pull myself together then I’d also have to suffer the humiliation of crying in front of my superiors.

If only I could properly wield a sword, if only I could learn just like everyone else had, I could’ve been fine in this life. I would’ve thrived with a fair chance.

With a burst of anger and shame, I kicked a nearby tree with all my might, relishing in the pain that spread through my foot. The demonslayer headquarters was right up ahead but I still wasn’t ready to face the truth. No matter how much I practiced and spent hours drilling away with a sword in my hand, I would never be able to amount to anything like everyone else did. It would seem that I was cursed.

Whenever I fought with a sword, all of my instincts would guide me to activate my breathing technique without any regard. It was such a stupid thing to do but I had done it before during a fight, only once and never again.

When I was younger, I had developed a unique breathing technique after having a series of night terrors. The technique had been taught to me by my grandma to control and alleviate the nightmares which it had thankfully done but now it threatened to activate with the slightest adrenaline rush.

Nightmare Breathing; a sick and twisted technique that was now controlling me. It caused the most disgusting hallucinations to anyone around due to my lack of perfection, driving people insane and inducing the worst of emotions. It was also a tradition passed through my family to protect. We were keepers of the dark but that made bringing the light nearly impossible.

I was sick of myself for always feeling a desperate need to activate its disgusting nature. No one would see me as a savior and everyone was about to find out why. The tears welled up again at the thought. There was nothing left for me anywhere, this being my only home. If I lost this, there was nothing.

I let out a shout of frustration as I untied my sword from around my waist, chucking it into the woods as I spun around to punch the sharp bark of a tree. I didn’t stop there though, reeling back my fist to hit the trunk again and again. It didn’t take long for blood to dribble down my hand as tears spilled down my face. I’m a monster. Grunts echoed around as I didn’t let up, the bark of the tree painted red.

It wasn’t until arms wound around my chest that I paused. I glanced down at the delicate hands gripping my uniform desperately to realize who had me in their hold. My tears only spilled harder as I squeezed my eyes shut in pain.

Mitsuri pushed against my back firmly, not breaking her grip on me as I softly cried without daring to look behind me. Of course she would be the one to find me at my lowest. I couldn’t help but be grateful for her gentle embrace despite the shame curdling in my chest.

“You don’t need to do this,” I whispered in a raspy tone. Her grip only tightened before she released me. I figured she was going to leave but her face peeked around my shoulder to stare at me with wide lime eyes. She walked to the front of me, standing between the bloodied tree and my trembling body.

“Why would you say such a ridiculous thing? I know I don’t have to but I really want to. You’re hurt,” she exclaimed with a concerned frown. I gave a tired shrug as she gently held my injured hand close to her. She didn’t even seem to mind the blood as she stared sadly at the self inflicted wound. “Why on earth would you do this?”

My hand clenched in her hold as I averted my gaze from her hurt expression. I didn’t want to look at her when I was like this. Something warm guided my face to look at her though, her hand carefully cupping my face as her thumb rubbed away my tears. I couldn’t help myself from leaning into her touch.

“I failed my mission. I can’t fight like everyone else…I just can’t,” I whispered, that feeling of shame spreading from announcing it out loud. Mitsuri didn’t seem to care though as she wrapped me in her arms again, her head resting on my shoulder as her hand ran through my hair tenderly.

Everything about her was comforting as she held me. My face rested against her head, attempting to focus on the softness of her hair rather than the pain squeezing through my chest. Her torso was pressed against mine as I tried to regulate my breathing to match hers.

“We can’t always win them all, don’t be so hard on yourself,” she mumbled against my shoulder. My clean hand rested on the small of her back, gently pulling her closer. She gave a small hum against my shoulder that sent shivers down my spine.

“I can’t face the others yet. It still hurts too much and I’m not ready,” I stated with a desperate lilt to my words. I just wanted to stay here in her arms where I felt most secure. It made me feel safe, even from myself. Mitsuri pulled away slightly, her arms moving up to rest around my neck as she smiled softly at me. Her smile was the light I needed to balance my darkness.

“Who said you needed to go yet? Just relax a bit here with me and we can talk things out first,” she proposed in a gentle whisper. A thankful tremble rolled through my body as Mitsuri gently guided me to sit down against a non bloodied tree, her sliding down by my side.

She glanced at me almost shyly before she curled against my side, my body adjusting to face her as we leaned in close. Her face had taken a light blush as my mood lifted and mind cleared to focus on how beautiful she was. Her hand came up to my face again, pulling me slightly as I willingly pushed closer. Her lips were soft against mine as she single handedly alleviated my stress with one careful kiss.

“I think I missed that. Can you run that by me again?” I breathed against her lips. She chuckled quietly before kissing me yet again. I felt the dark swirl of emotions in my chest recede in the presence of her affection, as if she was my own personal flame. She made me have hope for what was yet to come, my fear dwindling as she pushed against me harder.