Dianthus Caryophyllus; A Soonhoon Fic 02

“Hyung! You okay?” I was retching into a dustbin, trying to be as discreet as possible so that dino who was in the recording booth would not see me through the class window. However, the retching sounds probably reached his ears. I have been throwing up petals and blood every day for 2 weeks. The worse part, it had happened during dino’s turn for recording and not wanting him to find out, I quickly hid the dustbin under the table, trying to hide it from the maknae.

“I’m fine. Let’s continue.” The truth was, I was clearly not fine nor okay. Every time I retched, the coppery taste of blood always lingered in my mouth, the taste unsettling and being a harsh reminder of the disease and this time was no exception. Thankfully, I managed to hold up for the rest of the recording session.  

“Thank You Hyung! You should rest, take care of your health.” He flashed me a bright smile as he ran out of the room excitedly.

~~~

I cant believe this. I cant believe this. Those were the only 4 words going through my brain as I raced out of the recording studio, down two levels by the staircase and to hoshi hyung’s studio. Blood. Petals. Buttercups. It was all too familiar. Why of all flowers in the world buttercups? Is it supposed to tell me something? I burst into his studio without knocking.

“Woah woah what’s wrong” 

I started rambling out everything that happened once he saw me enter and stopped the music.

“I can’t understand you dino, repeat it S L O W L Y“

I took a deep breath before repeating.

“Hyung. Woozi hyung just puked during our recording session. And its not normal vomit. I saw red blood, petals. Hyung you gotta help him.” I rattled out as I saw his face morph into fear.

“No way… No way… How did he get it. No this disease only makes him suffer. I’m not gonna let him suffer like me.” He muttered. I held him back as he threatened to break through the door and rush to woozi hyung.

“Hyung! Listen first. H-He puked buttercups. L-Like what you did years ago. What if it was unrequited love f-for y-you…”

~~~

“Hyung! Listen first. H-He puked buttercups. L-Like what you did years ago. What if it was unrequited love f-for y-you…” 

When what dino said did set in after a few moments, I was in denial.  It can’t be me. I will never believe it until I hear it right from his mouth. Anyways I feel nothing romantic for him anymore, or rather, I cannot. He is just my best friend, and my dongsaeng which I care a lot about.

“Hyung, I know you want to help him. I’m not saying you cant, but please listen to him…Be patient with jihoon hyung ok?” I did not listen to anything he said as I pushed past him and burst out of my studio, racing up the same flight of stairs to the recording studio. I was guilty that I pushed dino away like that, even though he helped me so much years ago when he happened, when he was still no older than 16. But, I had to help jihoon. He can’t suffer like me, its too cruel and he doesn’t deserve to not get loved by whoever he loved. 

I did not get him and I would not let the disease get him. 

I will not let the disease cause him to suffer.