Falling | Mxm (Completed) Chapter 59

Edited

(6 months ago)

The sound of digits being entered on the lock echoed through the silence of the house. The front door opened and a figure came in. Edwin was lying on the couch on his stomach, facing the hallway that led to the entrance. He opened his eyes briefly but closed them again as he had no energy to keep them wide whatsoever.

By the couch, were several beer bottles on the ground in a messy order. There was a book that had been clearly tossed across the room as it was on the ground with a few of its pages ripped off. And then there was a notebook and a pen by the blue-haired man’s hand that was dangling from the couch.

Aiden made his way to the younger as he eyed the whole situation. It was obvious that Edwin had drunk way more than his limit. The singer had been away for 5days on a schedule overseas, and he could tell that Edwin was not feeling very well from the video calls they had. He would end conversations soon, saying he needed to go back to practice, or he was sleepy or such. He knew they were all excuses but there was nothing he could do from afar so he had decided to wait until he came back.

Brushing the younger’s hair out of his face, Aiden placed the dangling hand on the couch gently and looked at his boyfriend for a few seconds. He stood up and went to where the poor book was. Picking it up while a few more pages fell to the ground, he read the cover. ‘If only by Lili smith’ It was Lili’s book. The one Chad had given him. Aiden gathered all the torn pages from the ground and put the whole thing on the small shelf on the wall beside the TV. He went back to the couch and sat down, leaning his back on it. He picked the notebook up, hesitating for a second whether or not to look inside, but he decided to take a quick look and if it was something personal, he would close it.

He didn’t expect what was inside to be so breathtakingly sad and beautiful. It was a poem. And it was in Edwin’s handwriting. It was the notebook that Edwin used when he wanted to write a few lines of a poem. Aiden sat there and read it several times. The words were really devastating, and he knew what he wanted to do with it.

***

Edwin woke up in bed, covered by the fluffy blanket and no clothes on except for his briefs. He had a terrible headache and with every inch of movement, it would only get 10 times worse. He groaned and slowly lay back again. Not long after, the bedroom door opened and Aiden came in, sitting on the bedside.

The younger moved his arm from his face to look at the man in front of him, only to realize he wasn’t even able to keep his eyes open cos the light hurt like a bitch. He hated light at that moment. ‘Remember how you judged your sister for the same thing?’ He covered his face again and whined in pain.

“Baby, what have you done to yourself..” He heard the kind voice of his boyfriend say.

“I’m gonna help you sit up so you can drink this thing and take a painkiller, okay?”

“Close the curtains first.” Edwin muttered from under his arm.

Aiden looked at all the light that was coming through the big windows and looked back at Edwin. Sighing, he stood up and closed everything, and made sure there was not one single ray of light anywhere. The room was nearly covered in darkness, only the light from the living room that came in through the half-open bedroom door lightening the place a bit.

“It’s done. Let’s sit up.” Aiden was careful with Edwin as he helped him sit really slowly, and even with that pace the younger winced in pain and held onto his head. He wanted to ask why he had done this but he knew that every sound was too loud to the other’s ears now so he kept quiet.

After taking the pill and everything, he put him back to bed, covered him up, and left the room. He closed the door for the room to be covered in total darkness.

Three hours later, while he was working on some music, the door to his little studio room opened and showed the lazy and sleepy form of his boyfriend in a big grey hoodie that covered until his mid-thigh. He was rubbing his eye with the paws that the long sleeves made. In all honesty, it was one of the most adorable things he had ever witnessed.

“Why didn’t you tell me you were coming back?” The younger asked with a hoarse voice.

Aiden smiled and stood up, pulling Edwin into his embrace. “I called. You didn’t pick up.”

The other hummed while still rubbing his eye.

Aiden chuckled and grabbed the hand that was abusing the beautiful eye. “Stop, you’ll make yourself blind.”

Edwin pouted and hid himself in Aiden’s hug again. “I missed you.” his voice was as sleepy as it could get despite the fact that he had slept 17 hours straight.

“I missed you too, bluewin.” He kissed his forehead and caressed the soft silky hair, enjoying the texture he had missed dearly.

“What do you wanna eat?”

“Hamburger.”

“You and your hamburger!” He laughed shortly as he cupped Edwin’s face, making him get out of his hiding place — which was his own crook of neck — and squeezed his cheeks. It made the pouty plump lips become even bigger and Edwin frowned and whined in annoyance.

“Wanna take a shower while I order every kind of hamburger there is?”

Edwin nodded, and it made Aiden laugh again with how his cheeks became puffy at the action. He pecked the younger’s lips and let go of his face, smiling widely.

“Ok then, go freshen up and I’ll go get my prince’s beloved meal.”

“Why not order by phone?”

“I’m gonna go to the place you love the most. They don’t have delivery.” Placing one last kiss on the gorgeous lips, he picked his car keys and left after he saw Edwin entering the bathroom.

He had given him painkillers, food and had let him sleep enough, and he was now going to start getting info out of his boyfriend who was standing by the glass wall, looking outside.

“Eddie,” Aiden made his way to the other and back-hugged him, kissing his neck softly. “Wanna talk about what’s bothering you so much?” There was no answer as the younger just sipped on the coffee in his hand.

Aiden let go of him and turned him around gently. Edwin was sad, very sad, and it made him look vulnerable. It made Aiden feel like if he wasn’t gentle and careful enough, he would break him unintentionally.

“Babe, what’s wrong? You can tell me.” He cupped Edwin’s face and looked into his eyes.

Edwin placed his cup on the table nearby and hugged Aiden tightly, resting his head on the older’s shoulder. He felt like someone was clenching his heart in a tight fist, applying as much pressure as possible. He let a shaky breath out as tears started to gather in his eyes.

“Mom and dad came.” His voice was so low Aiden had barely been able to hear it. It was the first time he had heard of the other’s parents. He had never mentioned them really and Aiden figured it’s best not to ask. He had asked something back at the hospital but he was left unanswered so he never tried again. The only thing he could do was to tighten his arms around his boyfriend to ensure him everything was going to be okay.

“I haven’t really had the courage to tell them about… about Lili. They didn’t know. Apparently, Kurt has told them and they came here all furious. They said I didn’t take good care of her. That I should’ve been more careful, more alert. Mom cried for hours and dad just kept giving me disappointed looks.” Edwin buried his face in Aiden’s neck, clutching a fistful of the older’s shirt.

“I know it wasn’t my fault. I did everything I could, I tried everything I’ve learned. If only… if only she had stayed, maybe something would work somehow. If-”

“Shhhh… Babe, she was under treatment her entire life. If she was to get better, she should have by then. Let’s sit down.” He sat both of them down on the floor as he took Edwin’s hands in his, kissing them a few times.

“Why didn’t you tell them sooner? It would’ve been better if they heard it from you.”

“I wanted to but then I thought maybe some news on her will come up. I thought someday she’ll come back. I wanted to save them the worry and pain.”

Aiden caressed the soft cheeks with his thumb as he looked at his boyfriend with sad eyes. “They said what they said because they were sad, you know that, right? I’m sure it’s not what they really think. I’m sure they love you and don’t really blame you for this.”

Edwin looked back into Aiden’s eyes with such desperation. It was like he was trying his best to believe the older’s words.

“I’m sure of it Edwin. Let’s just give them some time, okay? I’m sure they’ll come around.” A couple of more tears rolled down, which Aiden wiped away quickly and Edwin nodded.

“Hey, I… I kinda looked at the poem you wrote. It’s… it’s really beautiful. Sad, but beautiful.”

Edwin kept playing with his sleeves and looking down while listening.

“Will you let me use it for a song? I have this backtrack that goes really well with it and-”

“You wanna use my poem as lyrics for your song?” Edwin looked up at him with wide eyes, looking like an innocent child. Aiden hummed.

“Why?!”

“Because it’s really good. All of your poems are beautiful and I don’t know why you refuse to actually publish them but if you let me, I wanna use this one. It really deserves to be heard.”

“I… I wrote it for Lili.” Edwin looked back down. “You can use it. I’m glad you liked it this much.” He smiled for the first time since Aiden had come back.

***

About a week later, Edwin’s parents came back. At first, they had thought Edwin had just changed his apartment. But then, after many hugs and kisses and apologies for blaming Edwin and having said such things, the younger had introduced them to Aiden.

To their surprise, they already knew Aiden and were actually a little bit of a fan of him. Aiden didn’t know whether he should be shy or proud, so he just thanked them repeatedly. That night, after they left, Aiden was able to see the first genuine smile on his beloved boyfriend’s face in almost two weeks and he couldn’t be happier.

“Eddie, could you come here, please?” He called the boy from his studio room. Edwin appeared with two bowls of ice cream in his hands and a spoon dangling by his lips.

“But why bringing one spoon?!” Aiden asked as he saw it.

“I’ll feed you while you work.”

Aiden kept staring at him in awe. He just wanted to hug and squeeze the hell out of him.

Edwin brought the spoon near his mouth saying ‘aaaa’

Aiden grinned and opened his mouth. “I had to change it a bit here and there to fit the song, but I tried not to change it too much. Anyway, listen and tell me what you think.” He took the spoon from Edwin’s hand, placed the headphones on his ears, and the song began. When it finished, Edwin could only say one sentence, ‘I love it.’ before pulling Aiden in a passionate kiss that tasted much like the cherry vanilla ice cream.

‘The days you’d talk about the end,

Looking back, I never took you serious

No, I preferred it that way, living oblivious

Are you happy now? Where you are?

You left without a goodbye, come back to me

Me who will always be here like the morning wind

Forever we promised, Forever it is

I always said I’d save you, But this time can you save me please?

I’m tired, on my knees, but it’s not over yet

I’ll wait and wait for you,

You who said will be there with me until the very end

You said I have him now, asked me to be nice

Asked him to take care of me,

but all I ever wanted was the two of us

You crashed my world upside down

Just like a violent flood

Did you think I’d forget you?

You who are of my blood

Turn back the time, stay here, I’ll make you better

Turn back our life, stay still, I’ll heal your feathers’

When I was writing this story back then, I wrote this chapter for a specific song that I loved and still love a lot.

I also thought I should hint at how ‘not ok’ Edwin still was about the whole Lili situation. 

Anyways! till tomorrow!