Falling | Mxm (Completed) Chapter 93

Edited

Edwin was dreaming about something. Aiden, Lili, and himself were in some kind of garden. A mesmerizing, bright garden decorated with beautiful statues. Lili was laughing at something Aiden said. Edwin walked to them. He was away from them for some reason, but he tried to approach them. Yet, no matter how much he walked, it didn’t seem like he was getting any closer. They were just standing there, talking and laughing, and would occasionally look back at him with warm smiles on their faces. And then they started walking away, bidding him goodbye. Edwin started running. Or at least he tried to run. But he couldn’t. He couldn’t get his limbs to move fast. He tried and tried, but it didn’t work. And then he realized it must be a dream. Because, in reality, Lili was gone and Aiden… Aiden would never leave him behind like that. He wouldn’t…

He forced himself to wake up.

Opening his eyes, he heard himself panting as he sat up. The covers fell and landed on his hips. A second later, while he hadn’t quite collected himself yet, he remembered the dream. Of Aiden leaving him for an unknown reason. Looking to the side as his hand reached out for his lover, he saw the bed was empty and cold, meaning the other had gone out of it a while back.

Panicking, he threw the covers away and jumped down as he put the robe on and tied the belt.

He checked the bathroom first, but it was empty. Walking fast steps, he opened the bedroom door. The smooth sound of the piano sent a spark of relief throughout his entire stressed-out body. But not completely. It was a sad melody. The older always played sad melodies when he was… sad. But there was no reason to be sad now. Sure he was stressed out because of the whole concert hall situation, but it didn’t qualify for the piece that was being played at that moment. And the older definitely didn’t look sad after their lovemaking the night before.

Walking the few steps to the room across from their bedroom, he turned the knob slowly and opened the door. As expected, Aiden was sitting behind the lilac grand piano. The one that always reminded him of his sister’s beautiful hair.

The older was pressing the keys with the fingers of his right hand. His left arm was on the fallboard and he had his forehead resting on it. The piano was placed such that the other had his back to the door. Aiden’s aura screamed ‘melancholy’.

Inhaling, Edwin started walking toward his boyfriend, making sure that his feet made a bit of sound so that the other knew he was there and wouldn’t get startled. Yet Aiden didn’t react to it at all. Reaching the piano, Edwin stood behind him, placed his palm on his shoulder gently, and rubbed his back a bit.

“What is it, baby?” He asked quietly.

He felt how his lover’s body shivered under his palm, but the older didn’t say anything and just continued playing. Edwin didn’t push it any further, knowing by now that he had to wait a bit for the other to start talking himself. He sat down next to him as he continued caressing his clothed back, listening to the very sad minor notes quietly.

And then they stopped. It was like the whole universe was standing still with how silent their surroundings were. There wasn’t a single sound breaking the stilled atmosphere. Aiden remained like that, with his head on his hand and then, in that absolute silence, Edwin heard the sound of the tears dropping on the black and white keys. After long minutes of him sitting there, terrified of what the reason was for the silent tears of his beloved, Aiden sniffled and started sitting up slowly. The older looked out of the window for a couple of seconds and then stood up. Edwin’s hand fell as the man left the chair and his heart dropped when the images of his dream came back to him. He was about to say something, to jump up and hug the other so tightly, he would never be able to leave, but then Aiden turned around. Edwin could see how drenched in tears his face was. But the older didn’t look at him. He had his eyes on the floor. Walking the step that was separating them, Aiden knelt in front of him and leaned down, wrapped his arms around Edwin’s waist, and rest his head on his lap, hiding his face, as his body started shaking in another flow of the silent tears.

He didn’t know what had happened. He had a hundred questions floating in his head, but he let his fingers travel through the equally lilac hair as gently as he could. Aiden was very much like his sister sometimes. Like, when he was sad, he didn’t need words. He needed the touch, the presence. Something about ‘it’s the actions that talk, not the meaningless words’. So Edwin did exactly that. Sitting there quietly as he caressed his boyfriend’s hair and let his other hand ghost on the arm that was around his waist. He didn’t know how much time passed, but it must have been a while when the shivers lessened a bit, and then…

“I’m sorry…” Aiden’s voice was so broken that even though Edwin couldn’t see his face, he could feel what sadness those beautiful eyes must have had in them at that moment.

He didn’t reply and continued the soothing touches, waiting for the older to continue.

“I’m so sorry, Edwin. I don’t deserve you. I really don’t.” His shoulders trembled.

“Shhh, it’s okay.” Edwin whispered and caressed the other’s back as he leaned down a bit. “You’re an amazing person and you certainly do deserve me.”

“No, I-… it’s not about me. I-…” A helpless sob made him stop, and he sniffled again. “I can’t even bring myself to ask for forgiveness. I can’t even remember any of it…” Aiden’s voice cracked again as he sobbed harder and tightened his arms around Edwin’s waist and his body trembled intensely. “I love you so much, Edwin. Please don’t leave me. Please…”

The desperate voice of the older made his heart clench as he got out of the chair and knelt on the ground in front of him. He tried to make him look up but couldn’t manage as Aiden hugged him again immediately and hid his face in the crook of his neck. He could feel the tears soaking his skin. Edwin circled his arms around him tightly and placed a few kisses on his shoulder and neck.

“I love you too, baby. I’m not going anywhere, ever.” He whispered in the older’s ear. He still didn’t have one clue about what was going on, but he had to reassure his one and only that he wasn’t going to leave, even if he didn’t know why the other assumed he was.

Aiden’s sobs were the only sound in the entire apartment as his hold tightened around Edwin. The older didn’t seem to be even near the point of calming down. Edwin’s heart was aching at the desperate behavior. He didn’t know why his lover was so insecure all of a sudden. What had happened in the few hours that they’d slept?

When Aiden’s breathing pattern started getting hectic, Edwin panicked, scared of him losing it again.

“Shhh, it’s okay. We’re okay. We love each other, right? We’re perfect for each other. No one and nothing can come between our love. I love you, Aiden. I love you so much.” He whispered in the older’s ear as he caressed his lilac hair and slipped his hand under his shirt to caress the skin of his back. Aiden’s body was burning.

“I-” It seemed like he wanted to talk, but the rush of tears and the shortage of air in his lungs didn’t let him. He started panting, and Edwin knew a panic attack was on its way.

He leaned back easily, as Aiden didn’t seem to have much strength left, and cupped his cheeks, lifting his face to be able to look at him. He was really pale. Aiden avoided Edwin’s eyes and just stared at the floor while he raised one of his hands and grabbed his shirt where his heart was.

“I’m sorry, Edwin. I’m so sorry I hurt you. But if I did it once, there’s no guarantee I’m not gonna do it again, and I… I don’t want that to happen. You’re too precious to be treated like that.” Aiden winced as his hand tightened on his shirt and stood up. Without looking into Edwin’s eyes, he turned around and ran out of the room, and before Edwin could even react, he was out of the apartment.

He didn’t know what to do. Aiden was not in a condition to be left alone. Not with the waterfall of tears or the way he seemed to be in pain and not his mental estate. So Edwin ran after him after a couple of minutes of standing in the living room, shocked and not knowing what the hell had just happened. He ran out of the elevator as soon as it was on the first floor, directly to the street. But no matter how long he looked around, he didn’t see Aiden. He went to the parking lot and saw the car was there, so he was actually relieved that he at least wasn’t driving.

Going back up to the apartment, he grabbed his phone and dialed the older’s number, but after around 10 times he gave up. So he decided to call the others.

“Hey, Eddie!” Ian greeted him in a sweet tone.

“Ian…” He only managed to keep his voice steady until then, and he suddenly broke into tears. “He left.”

There were a few seconds of silence.

“W-what do you mean he left?!” Ian’s voice was showing how shocked and slightly afraid he was.

“He just… left. He said he can’t guarantee he won’t hurt me again and just left. I don’t even know what it was about. I followed him, but he was already gone…” His voice cracked and he let himself slide down the wall as the tears ran down his face. “I can’t live without him, Ian…”

“It’s okay… it’s okay… just… hang on, Edwin. I’m on my way there.”

DeleteCreated with Sketch.

Around 15 minutes later, Ian was there. He entered the passcode himself and got in, finding Edwin right next to the door, on the ground, crying his eyes out silently. Without a word, he crouched down and pulled the younger into his arms. Edwin hugged him back desperately.

“He doesn’t pick up. I’ve called him a million times, but he doesn’t pick up. What if something happened to him? He was hurting. I’m so scared, Ian. What if he does something stupid? What if-” He was rambling, his nerves getting to him.

“Edwin,” Ian cut him off. “Breathe, calm down, and tell me what happened.” He paused. “But before any of that, let’s go inside.” He pulled the taller up and guided him to the couch.

Edwin did manage to calm himself down a bit. “I woke up and found him crying. He hugged me, asking me not to leave him. And then suddenly, his face changed, and he said he doesn’t wanna hurt me again. He didn’t even look at me…” He wiped his tears with the sleeve of his robe. “I don’t understand. He never hurt me. Not once. I don’t know what he’s talking about…” He said as he dialed Aiden’s number again.

Ian was looking at him and listening to the sound of the beeps that weren’t picked up.

“I… think I know what this is about…” He said and with that, he got Edwin’s attention as those big eyes landed on him. “You never told us what happened but… Hector, he said something about Aiden ‘abusing’ you… and then when he was back, you told us not to say anything because it seemed like he didn’t remember any of it… So, maybe he remembered?… That’s the only thing that could make him unstable like this.”

Edwin paled as he stared at Ian, holding his breath. “No.”

“No no no no… he can’t remember that! He should never remember that-” He began to panic, thinking about the outcome of the older remembering the incident. “We have to find him, Ian. Please, please find him before he does something stupid or just disappears again.” He was practically begging the other with his eyes.

“Relax, Ed! Even if this is the case, it’s gonna be okay. We should just give him a couple of days and he’ll be back on his own. He can’t stay away from you.” Ian said as he took his phone out.

“You don’t understand. He is perfectly capable of hurting himself, in more ways than one. Please, Ian…”

“My phone is dying.” Ian said as he threw the device on the coffee table and rubbed his face with both palms. He knew he couldn’t track Aiden down. He never let anyone be able to track him down through his devices.

“I know I can’t, but let’s just give it a try. Do you know the password to his PC? My stupid ass forgot to take the laptop.”

Edwin hesitated a bit. “No… but you can use mine.”

“No, it won’t do. General laptops don’t have what I need to do the work.” Ian shook his head.

“Let’s just hack into his PC then. We don’t have any other choice.”

They both stood up and went to the studio room. The PC was on, but it was on sleep mode, meaning they’d have to put in the pass.

“Give me your phone.” Ian said and held his hand in front of the taller as he sat behind the desk. He got it and opened their group chat.

‘if you see or hear from Aiden, inform me.’

“Before anything, let’s try this…” Ian said mostly to himself, and entered a password. Specifically, Edwin’s birthday.

“AHA! I told you, there’s no need to be concerned. He even has your whole birth date as the password, Edwin!” He said, looking back at the younger who was still calling his boyfriend, only giving him a glance before going back to pacing around the room. There was a video open on the screen. The thumbnail was Aiden himself, so Ian decided to play it and see if there was any clue of what exactly led to this.

‘first of all, I had no idea how to record and put this here and I had to ask that mean Lucas for help so you better appreciate this!’

Upon hearing his boyfriend’s voice, Edwin hung up the phone and got closer to the screen.

Ian paused the video. “What does he mean he didn’t know how to record?!” He asked, confused.

Edwin’s eyes wandered a bit in thought until he got it. “It’s not him! It’s Hector! Ian, play the video. Hurry.” His tears had dried on his face.

‘I wanna tell you about what happened because I figured being the sweetheart he is, Edwin will never tell you. But you should know so you can treat him like the perfect human being he is and not become an asshole once you spend a few years together and get used to each other. They kidnapped you again, Aiden. And you witnessed something so violent that you weren’t even yourself anymore. You pushed everyone away and didn’t really pay attention to him. And then… I still can’t understand it, but you went completely nuts, and… you went really rough on him. So rough, he had to beg you to stop because you were hurting him. You left bruises all over his body. If you look close enough, I’m sure the trace of the scratch on his cheek is not gone yet.

I decided I should let you take control again at some point because as much as I wanna live too, I don’t know anything about the outside world and he loves you. And I love him, so I don’t wanna see him miserable. You have no idea how lonely, terrified, and helpless he has been these months. But you’re still not okay and I can feel it, so I have to stay a bit longer…

When you see this, I want you to not break down again. Instead, I want you to hug him tight and never let him go, and always, always treat him the best you can. You can never find anyone that loves you as much as he does, Aiden. He deserves everything and you should give him your all. Or else, I’m gonna take over and never let you out again. Treat him well for both of us.’

When the video finished, neither of them said anything for minutes.

“Ed…” Ian looked at the younger who was kneeling on the ground with his head leaning on the edge of the desk.

“Don’t say anything.” Edwin interrupted him. “He wasn’t himself when he did that. It’s a basic human mental coping strategy. What he did was not his fault. And I should find him, I should hug him and tell him that it’s never been his fault.” He stood up and went to the bedroom to get dressed.

“Where are you going?” Ian asked when he saw Edwin walking toward the door.

“Searching for him.” He said, putting his shoes on.

“Wait. Let’s go together. I can’t track him down like this, anyway.”

They spent the whole day searching every possible place they both could think of. The company called Edwin, asking why the hell they weren’t there for practice and he had to lie, saying Aiden was really sick.

“You can stop if you’re tired. I still wanna search for him.” Edwin argued as Ian basically dragged him inside the apartment.

“And where are you even gonna search? We went everywhere. We even checked every hospital. We can’t find him when he doesn’t wanna be found.” Ian lay down on the carpet and Edwin sat on the couch, eyes glued to the door all the time.

***

MISMATCH SQUAD

Finn: Still nothing?

Ian: yeah…

Finn: I’m gonna punch the hell out of him for this.

Max: Hey!

Finn: No! Edwin doesn’t deserve this shit!

Joe: Alright, let’s calm down.

From what Ian told us, he thinks if he stays, he’s gonna hurt him again. And we all know how his brain works…

Max: How is he?

Ian: Not good.

I’ve wrapped two blankets around him and he’s still shivering but refuses to go to bed.

Finn: should I come over? Make him eat something at least?

Ian: No Finn! Your wife is close to giving birth any second now. We can’t risk anything. Besides, he won’t eat.

Brad: Guys… he just showed up at my door.

And I’ve never seen him like this before. He’s a complete mess.