The following morning, Minho had overslept and ran to school in full speed. Since he lived in a dorm, it was on campus and not that far away. He entered his English literature class just before the second bell rang, his teacher raising his brow but welcoming a breathless Minho nonetheless. He quickly took his seat next to his new friend, Hyunjin.
“Wow, it looks like you had to run through Hell to get here hyung. You overslept?” Minho snorted at the comment. If only Hyunjin knew that he technically was running from Hell 24/7. He was sure if he could tell the whole story to Hyunjin, both would be laughing hysterically.
“Ah yeah, the gods weren’t on my side this morning. Woke up 15 minutes before class started. Must’ve not heard my alarm at least 4 times.” He let out a big sigh, finally stabilising his breath. Seeing Minho had made it just as the bell rang, the teacher started her lecture and the conversation stopped until the end of class.
“Hey, would you want to sit with me at lunch today?” Hyunjin asked him.
“Ah, I already sit with my other friends. How about you join us? They’re all really chill and funny.”
“That’d be nice, but it would mean that I make my friends tag along. Be prepared for chaos, they’re loud as heck. However, they’re also the sweetest boys ever.
“So like you?” Minho snickered as Hyunjin gave him a slight bump on his shoulder. “Your friends are more than welcome to tag along, Chan hyung already said when I joined, ‘the more the merrier!’.” The bell rang in that exact moment and both boys stood up, already having packed their bags to leave the room.
“Great! I’ll see you at lunch then, yeah?” And like that they made the deal. Minho was really excited. It was the last day of his first week and he had already made friends, was about to make more and he had managed to befriend Jisung. Excitedly he got through the next two classes, happy to be able to see Jisung and the rest. He wondered if Jisung would be feeling more comfortable after their conversation the previous day. He didn’t like to assume that would be the case because if he were wrong, he would be highly dissapointed.
Only when he got to lunch, Jisung wasn’t there. Sadly he didn’t have time to look for the younger, as an arm was flung around his shoulder. It was Hyunjin and his two friends.
“Hey! Lead the way champ. Introductions at the table!” Hyunjin was a super lively and energetic person, it felt nice to be around him as he gave off a good energy wherever he went. Minho’s glance wandered over to the two boys, taking in their appearances. One of them had blond hair so bright, you could find the boy from around the room. Freckles adorned his face, making him look like a mystical fairy of some sorts. If Minho wasn’t deadset on Jisung, his heart would’ve definitely leaped at the sight of the boy. The other’s hair was a dark brown and when he had smiled as the blond had made a joke, Minho noticed the boy had braces. Overall, the two of them seemed like very sweet boys. The four of them made their way to Changbin’s table.
“Hey guys, is it okay for all of us to sit together? I was asked to hang out with Hyunjin and his friends but I also wanted to hangout with you guys.”
Of course, there were no complaints. All the boys sat down and began introducing themselves. Hyunjin’s friends’ names turned out to be Felix and Jeongin. The both of them were very interesting characters. Felix , the blond, told them he was from Australia and came to Korea to become an artist. Chan almost leaped from his seat when he heard that, exclaiming he too, came from Australia. Their connection was immediate and it sparked a whole conversation in English, accents so heavy Minho couldn’t understand most of it. Not like he was good in English anyways. It also didn’t matter too much anyways, seeing he is Korean and probably wouldn’t be moving across the world any time soon. Or ever.
Jeongin on the other hand had seemed a bit shy at first, however quickly showed that he was not to be messed with. His sassy comments towards Hyunjin made the entire table laugh. The youngest didn’t hesitate to clap back at his hyung, but it all seemed to be in good fun. Minho knew that if they all became friends, Jeongin would most probably do the same to him. He glanced over at Changbin, who had been awefully quiet apart from introducing himself. Usually, the boy would be very talkative and social and when Jisung was around, his energy levels would boost up even higher. It was really cute to see, seeing Jisung hadn’t been that loud around them at all. Yet right now, he seemed to be he deep in his thoughts. Jisung still hadn’t arrived either and Minho had no clue where the boy could be. He decided to ask Changbin, he probably knew where Jisung was or what was taking him so long.
“Hey, Changbin. Do you know where Jisung is?”
“Huh? Oh. I’m not sure. He texted me last night but I haven’t heard from him since. I think he’s sick, but I’m going to go visit him after school to see if he’s doing okay.” Minho had wanted to give Jisung some research he had done after the younger had left for work, but that would be impossible now. It couldn’t really wait until monday either, seeing they only had 2 weeks to complete it.
“Could I tag along? I need to give him some stuff for our project.” Minho noticed the shift in Changbin’s eyes. He couldn’t quite place the feeling they held though.
“I think it’s best if I go alone. Jisung doesn’t like people visiting him when he gets sick as it makes him feel jittery. I can bring your stuff with me if you like that? I’ll text you how he’s doing, okay?” Minho didn’t really like this, he really wanted to see the boy. Something told him he had to, but he knew there was no other option and it felt like Changbin would not let him come anyways. Plus, if it made Jisung feel worse, he ‘d rather leave him alone.
“Alright, but let me know how he’s doing okay? I’m a little worried, don’t know why.” That wasn’t a complete lie. Minho felt a weird feeling in his stomach, almost anxiety even. It was nausiating but he didn’t feel sick, it couldn’t be put into words.
“Of course!” Changbin was really worried for his best friend, but he didn’t want to show it. He believed in Jisung and he also didn’t want to raise any suspicions around the others that something might not be right. Changbin decided to contact Jisung before randomly showing up at his house, maybe the boy just forgot to text him he wasn’t feeling well. He pulled out his phone and send his best friend a quick text.
Changbin 12:31 pm
‘Hey bro, are you okay? Why didn’t you let me know you’re sick? Is something up?’
By the end of lunch and even fourth period, he still had no response. He still had 2 more classes that day, but the worry grew within him. He knew if Jisung was sick, he would at least tell him. His best friend also always had his phone on him, so not receiving a response for some hours caused some alarm bells to ring in Changbin’s head. ‘Did something happen to his dad? Or to him?’
As the bell rang, Changbin decided to ditch the rest of school. He really couldn’t care less if he got in trouble. He knew Jisung and what the boy was capable of doing. It worried him sick. He’d rather miss two classes making sure his friend is okay than being in school and regretting his actions later. Besides, it was college anyways… if he wanted to leave he would.
As he left school, he checked his phone one last time. The last message was still from last night.
Jisung 1:07 AM
Ye im glad i had fun with him, he seemed really nice
Shoving his phone back into his pocket, Changbin sped up his pace and made his way to the bus stop where he waited around 4 minutes before it arrived. On the way to Jisungs house, he received a text message. Almost excited and relieved, he quickly checked. It was just Chan. Now, it wouldn’t be ‘just Chan’ under any other circumstances but Changbin couldn’t help but feel dissapointed.
Chan 2:03 pm
Bro where are ya?
Changbin 2:04
sorry, dentist. forgot completely so didn’t tell the teachers
decided it was best to just bail LOL
Chan 2:04
lmaoooooo okay
good luck fam
Changbin arrived at his designated stop and quickly got off. Jisung’s house was almost right across the road from it, so he crossed before making sure he wouldn’t be ran over. As Changbin arrived to the front door, he grabbed his keys. Last time Jisung did something stupid, Changbin had forced his friend to give him one of the spare keys. ‘You don’t think I’ll let that happen ever again, right?’ He was grateful for it now. He fumbled with the keys nervously before finally putting it into the hole. As he opened the door, the smell of alcohol filled the hallway. His nose scrunched in disgust as he almost immediately got a headache, the smell overbearing. ‘Why hasn’t Jisung told me it’s gotten this bad again?’
Walking into the living room, he found the culprit of the smell. Jisung’s dad. He was watching tv and hadn’t even noticed Changbin there. The boy cleared his throat, the drunk looking up at him. A smile spread across his face as he excitedly waved at Changbin, who was almost like a second son to him.
“Changbin! It’s been awhile! How’s it goin’?” Changbin could only stand there awkwardly and slightly annoyed, not here for the adult’s drunken business. “I’m fine, thank you sir. Is Jisung upstairs?”
“Jisn? Hmnot shure? Didn’t see him leave this mwornin’.” Changbin nodded as a small thanks and made his way upstairs, not wasting any more time. His heart hammering in his throat as he stood before Jisung’s bedroom door. He reaches his hand up and knocks three times, not wanting to burst through. “Sungie? Are you in here?” Changbin waits for a moment before he hears something heavy knock over. His eyes widened as his mind started racing.
‘Please be okay, please be okay, please be okay please please please.’
Changbin opened the door and quickly located Jisung who was sitting on his bed. He seemed out of it. When he looked at the door and saw it was Changbin standing there, his eyes widened, snapping back to reality. It looked like he had been crying.
“Ch-Changbinnie? Why a-are you here? …. I-I texted you n-not to come.” Changbin closed the door behind him and grabbed his phone from his backpocket. Surely enough, 5 minutes before he had entered the house, Jisung had texted him a simple ‘Don’t come over’. He walked over to the younger and saw him trying to push his body under the blankets even further, clearly attempting to hide something from him. The older did his best not to sigh, already knowing what Jisung didn’t want him to see.
“Sungie, let me see.” The younger shook his head no, tears welling up in his eyes as they quickly rolled down his cheeks.
“I’ll just dissapoint you again.” Changbin felt his heart crack. The younger never dissapointed him. He just always felt sorrow towards him in these situations. To Changbin, Jisung was the strongest person he knew. The love and adoration he held for him were immense and all Changbin wanted was for Jisung to be okay. “You know I would never be dissapointed in you. Come on, let me see.”
The younger sighed heavily, slowly pulling his blanket off of himself. His sleeves already revealed what Changbin hadn’t wanted to see. He tried to not make his stress obvious to the younger. Seeing the usual white sleeves covered in red wasn’t something Changbin would ever get used to, it hurt him time and time again. He sat down next to his best friend who seemed hesitant to go further.
“Y-You already know n-now… You don’t h-have to see more.” Jisung sniffed as he looked down at his hands. He felt like a dissapointment, a shame and above that; disgusting. He didn’t want Changbin to find out and he hadn’t expected the older male to come over before school had ended. Even though they didn’t share all the same classes, Jisung knew his friends’ schedule by heart. He was planning to bleed out and die before Changbin was done. He should’ve known his friend would’ve had other plans. He let out a soft sob as he realised how dumb he had been. If he had just made sure to text Changbin that he was feeling ill, the older wouldn’t have questioned it and Jisung’s plan would’ve worked.
“I know better than anyone that this much blood means you didn’t patch yourself up. It also means there are a lot of cuts, so come on. Lets go to the bathroom and let me help you clean up.” Changbin said sternly. He didn’t say it like that because he was angry, he said it like that because he knew Jisung wouldn’t argue with him that way. He seemed to be right, the younger hesitantly took the blanket off of his legs as well, showing even more red. Changbin wished he could’ve stopped his reaction, but he let out a gasp. Jisung had gone so much further than ever before.
“Fuck, can you even stand baby?” Jisung nodded and got up wobbling on his feet. Changbin didn’t hesitate to support him which the boy clearly needed, as they made their way to the bathroom across the hallway. Changbin put Jisung down on the toilet as he told him to stay put. He walked back to Jisung’s bedroom to get a fresh pair of clothes, picking out the most comfortable ones that wouldn’t hurt Jisung’s body.
Jisung couldn’t help but just stare in front of him, hands folded in his lap. He had fucked up so much, so so much. Why did it go this way? Why was Changbin so smart? He knew he should be thankful and somewhere he was, but he couldn’t help but hate it either. ‘I just can’t win. I just can’t have it my way for once.’ The boy spaced out again, partly due to his depression but also from the heafty amount of blood he had lost.
“Okay, take your shirt off.” Changbin came back, holding sweatpants and a sweater. Jisung hung his head low. He hated exposing his body for anyone, even Changbin. Even so, he didn’t disobey, taking off the long sleeved shirt with a heavy heart. He looked through his fringe and saw Changbin’s sad eyes. He sighed, knowing he had dissapointed the only person that cared about him. Now he just felt bad Changbin had to help him out once again. He could never do anything for his best friend other than be a nuisance… He had just wanted to take the stress and pain away for himself as well as Changbin but it just ended in him causing even more. Changbin got an old towel and wet the tip slightly before carefully dabbing the dried blood off of Jisung’s arms. He had known better to not wipe. It would only reopen the wounds and hurt the younger more. He could feel Jisung’s stare bore into his skull. He paid no mind to Jisung nor his body. He knew Jisung would get upset if he looked anywhere else other than his arms and quite frankly, he didn’t need to look anywhere else.
“Don’t give me that look, Ji.”
“What look.”
“The look where you think you’re bothering me. You’re not. You know that.” Jisung’s mouth only let out a mumble, making the other stop and look straight into his eyes. “You know that, right? Don’t make those demons think otherwise. I love you Jisung, I care for you so so much.”
Anyone listening would think Changbin just confessed his love for Jisung, but the two knew better. They were brothers, considering each other a soulmate in a way. Their friendship was unbreakable, the two always being together and ready to support each others’ endeavors. They’d been there for each other through everything, good and bad.
“Yeah, I know. Thanks for telling me again, though. You know how much you and your words mean to me.”
After the two had finished up in the bathroom, they went back to Jisung’s room. Jisung sat back down on his bed, confused as to why Changbin wasn’t leaving. The latter must’ve sensed his confusion and what it was for and let out a snort. “I’m staying over tonight. You’d think I’d leave you here?” Finally, a smile made its way onto Jisung’s face. He should’ve known better from his hyung. “Yeah, I definitely should’ve seen that coming.”
After watching a few episodes of a new anime, -Jujutsu Kaisen, the two made their way downstairs to eat dinner. Changbin had held onto Jisung’s arm as they made their way down the stairs, the boy still not feeling stable.
It had been the first time all week Jisung had dinner, and once he tasted the food he realised just how hungry he had been. His dad was spewing nonesense, stumbling over his words as he told a story of what he had done yesterday to Changbin. Of course he had done nothing, but the alcohol made his memories all fucked up. Changbin didn’t play along though, he just let it happen, giving a sad looking Jisung a few stares sometimes. His dad was definitely losing it more and more. After they finished, they quickly bailed to go upstairs again. After a little bit of silence, Changbin finally decided to ask.
“So, you want to tell me why you did it?” he asked, rubbing his thumb over Jisung’s hand. He tried showing his support and that Jisung could be comfortable telling him.
“I got fired from the supermarke– ohmygod. I should’ve gone for my last shift today. Fuck fuck fuck. I didn’t think I would be al–” He halted his sentence, eyes widening realising he had let his real intentions slip. Changbin said nothing. He just hugged him, finally starting to cry. He would always be so strong for Jisung, however he couldn’t let it in. What he had witnessed today wasn’t something he had ever wanted to see again and to know Jisung’s true intentions almost literally broke his heart.
“Please don’t ever l-leave me like that Sungie, please. You’re worth so so so much more than that. Come to me, I’ll always help you. You mean the world to me, just let me help you. You’re not annoying when he ask for help, I’m always glad you’re strong enough to ask. We’ll get through this… together.” Jisung started crying with him, apologising and promising the older over and over that he wouldn’t try again. He wasn’t sure if he could keep that promise but he at least wanted Changbin to feel reassured.
“Lets look for j-jobs online tomorrow, yeah? Maybe it’s for the best to sleep early.” With agreement on that statement, the two pulled the fresh blankets over themselves, hugging each other tightly as they let themselves fall into a peaceful sleep, Changbin making sure Jisung slept before him.
Minho 3:08 pm
So, how’s Jisung doing?
Minho 3:52 pm
Changbin?
Minho 6:47 pm
I really don’t want to come across as a stalker on anything or crazy, but I’m genuinely worried. Did something bad happen?
Minho 8:01 pm
I’m sorry, I’m just really worried for Jisung. He seemed fine yesterday and for neither of you to say anything in the group chat is a little worrying. Sorry if I come off as pushy. Again, just really worried 🙁
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Can we just all collectively say: Changbin best friend of the century? I think the fuck yes. I love them so much ;-; And I am sorry this was so sad LMAO. Did mention trigger warnings at the beginning of this story.
This is probably my favorite chapter I’ve written, ever. Idk what that says about me though. Genuinely excited for what is next though, ohmygod.
Last chapter: small victory for Jisung in befriending Minho before shit went down
This chapter: Devastating.
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