The alarm rang as early as always. Quickly smacking it before he got too annoyed, Changbin groaned as he turned around onto his other side, hoping to enjoy the warmth of his bed at least five more minutes. He lay still for a while, mentally preparing himself to get up again. He just felt like it was going to be a bad day, but he couldn’t skip classes. He had a test at 6th period, making him unable to attend late, or not at all. If he came late he’d just get in trouble, even if it was college and he was to an extent allowed to do whatever he wanted.
He sighed, getting up right before his snooze alarm was about to go off. Walking to his closet, he just grabbed a simple black shirt and black skinnies. He had two moods; either all black, or anything pink. He didn’t care about stereotypes, if a guy wants to wear pink, a guy should wear pink. Seeing as he felt like shit already, he decided to go with black to match his mood. He went into his kitchen, making a quick cheese sandwich before putting on a leather jacket. He went back to grab his bag and a water bottle before putting on his shoes and walking out the door, sandwich still in his mouth. He waited at the main entrance of the dorm for Minho. The two would always walk to school together if they started at the same time. Thursday was one of those days, so Changbin just looked at his Instagram feed until he heard someone walk up behind him.
“Good morning!” Minho greeted him, a tired smile on the olders’ lips. Minho wasn’t really one to wake up quickly, Changbin had learnt.
“Good morning hyung, lets get going.”
The two reached the school in no time. Usually, Jisung would be waiting for them at the lockers but to both the boys’ surprise, he wasn’t there. Neither thought too much of it and it seemed that they had been right about their feelings. Jisung was already sitting in his seat as Changbin entered the classroom. He had bid Minho farewell, the oldest having a slightly different schedule from the two.
“Hey Sung-ah, what’s up.”
“Nothing much.” The younger muttered, not even giving the older a greeting in return. Changbin frowned and stared at his best friend, noticing his behaviour was off. He had seemed very stressed the day before as well, but whenever Changbin asked what was up, Jisung had brushed it off.
“You sure ’bout that? You seem a little off.”
“I’m just tired, I’m fine. What about you? You seem tired yourself as well.” Changbin knew Jisung steered the conversation away from himself, but Changbin decided to not press it this early in the morning. He wasn’t really up for that either, in all honesty. “Yeah, I slept like shit. I had a nightmare and couldn’t fall asleep for a while after that. And just as a I fell asleep, I woke up to my alarm. Tragic stuff, if you ask me.”
“Sounds like shit indeed.”
The two paid as much attention to the class as they could, but neither really had the energy for it. Jisung seemed to stare off out the window most of class whilst Changbin was pretending to read his book. Luckily, both of them never drew much attention to themselves anyways so the teacher didn’t really notice.
Jisung sat outside at one of the picnic benches, waiting for a certain someone to show up. He was fiddling with his fingers, clearly nervous. He hates the idea of meeting on school grounds, but the person had insisted to meet there. ‘It’s way less suspicious’ is what he had said. Jisung couldn’t really argue with them and just agreed, hoping to be done with them after this week. He watched the birds up in the trees who were snuggled together closely, hoping to keep one another warm this way.
“Hey~ Jisungie~”
Jisung’s head shot up as he heard the familiar voice, gulping to force his anxiety back down his throat. The boy didn’t want to show how much this affected him mentally in front of the intimidating elder, so he just gave a weak smile in response. He had already seen them two days in a row, but being out in public whilst doing things like this worried him more than at the person’s house. It felt like anyone would realise what they were doing at any moment and Jisung wasn’t ready to involve anyone else into this.
“H-Hi, Jackson hyung.”
“Hey, mind if I take a seat for a moment?”
Jisung didn’t have time to respond as the older already sat down across from him. His hand went into his pocket, looking around calmly before he pulled the contents out. He slid a bag not even bigger than the size of an apple across the table, Jisung’s eyes widening as he quickly took it from the foreigner. He quickly stuffed it in his own pocket as he looked around, making sure no one had seen the suspicious exchange. Jackson didn’t seem remotly fazed by this interaction but no matter how many times Jisung had done this in the past, it still scared the crap out of him.
“The address is written on the bag, like last time.” Jisung nodded quickly, already knowing how this goes.
“H-Hyung, like I said… This is the last one, for good this time.”
“I know, I know. You don’t need to remind me. I’ve always told you this is shady stuff, so I don’t blame you. The only reason you get away from this business every time is because I’m the one in charge… and you know I have a soft spot for you. I was honestly surprised when you called me and I really wanted to say no, but you sounded kind of desperate. You know I don’t need to know what’s going on, but I hope you’re taking care of yourself.” Jisung smiled, thanking the older. He didn’t notice Changbin walking through the school’s main entrance who immediately spotted the two together. It worried him greatly, causing him to quickly turn and make his way over towards the two.
“I’ll come round your house later to retrieve the money and give you your part of the deal, okay? Text me if everything went smoothly. If something bad happens, you call me immediatly.” Jackson said as he stood up, he waved goodbye to Jisung as the latter waved back. Just at that moment Changbin arrived at the table, causing Jisung to jump in surprise.
“Hey Jisung, w-why were you with Jackson?”
“No reason, he just came to say hello.”
“Ji, you know he is trouble, you shouldn’t be talking with him.” Jisung sighed, looking up at Changbin. He started feeling frustrated. He couldn’t tell Changbin he was helping Jackson with his illegal business, but he knew Changbin wasn’t an idiot. Especially not when it came to his best friend. “Listen, Bin. I’m just trying to be nice with him. You know I can’t just be a dick and ignore the guy if he asks me how I’m doing?”
“Still. Everything that Wang does, he does for a reason. I just don’t want you getting into business you shouldn’t be involved in.”
“Well, what I do is my own concern, thank you.” Changbin raised an eyebrow, confused about where Jisung’s attitude was coming from. “What’s wrong with you today?” It came out more annoyed than Changbin had intended. He was tired after his lack of sleep and the test he just took and he honestly hated that Jisung was acting weird like this. He didn’t like it that Jisung was acting so strangely, it worried him but he just couldn’t think of the right way to say it.
“Nothing! Just shut up and go, I already told you this two times today!” Jisung snapped, not daring to look at his friend. He was getting angry. Could Changbin just listen to him for once? All he wanted was to get this over with quickly and smoothly, he didn’t need his best friend to know if he didn’t have to. “I’m not a baby, Changbin. You got to stop worrying about me all the time.” He said, anger already dissipating. It sounded rather soft yet sassy at the same time.
“Maybe I would stop worrying if I you weren’t trying to kill yourself all the time!” Changbin yelled back, immediately realising what he had said was not okay. The younger’s head had snapped back to look at him, eyes wide with shock. They sat still and just looked at each other for a moment, before Jisung’s eyes narrowed and he stood up, heart rapidly pounding in his chest.
“W-Wait, Ji! I-I didn’t mean it!” Changbin said, walking after Jisung as he had started walking away. He grab Jisung’s wrist desperately, his best friend quickly releasing himself by pulling his hand back harshly. Turning around to face Changbin, the older already saw tears forming in Jisung’s eyes.
“Well clearly you did if it just slipped out like that. L-Leave me alone.”
Changbin couldn’t move as his best friend turned his back to him before storming off. He just watched Jisung’s body grow smaller as he walked away from him. Changbin felt numb and his legs gave out underneath him, causing him to kneel to the ground. He knew he just had said the worst thing possible and he didn’t even know where it came from. Why was he so angry that Jisung was talking to Jackson? Yes, Jackson was shady, but he should trust Jisung’s word. The boy wasn’t a fool, he knew dealing drugs was a dangerous business, he had already done it before when times were really tough. Changbin groaned loudly, pulling on his hair as he was starting to freak out. He needed to be around someone. For the first time ever, Changbin couldn’t handle his emotions on his own. Quickly pulling out his phone, he called the only other person that he knew he could explain everything to.
“Hey Changbin, what’s up?” He heard Minho say from the other end of the line.
“C-Can I come to y-your place?” Changbin said, feeling tears form in his eyes.
“Yes of course! Are you okay, Changbin?”
“No.”
It was all Changbin could respond. Because he truly wasn’t feeling okay. It was the first time he had ever gotten into a fight with Jisung, and it was a little too much for him. Especially knowing he had fucked up terribly. Minho told him to come over as soon as possible, so he said goodbye and made his way over to the dorms. The entire way there, he was fighting back the tears that continuously wanted to spill from his eyes. Once in front of Minho’s door, he stood still for a moment. Would Minho hate him for the words he had said to the younger? He sighed and brought his hand to the door. He realised how much he was shaking before he rang the bell, clearly showing he was still very distressed.
It was only a matter of seconds before the door swung open and he saw Minho’s worried face.
“Changbin, what happened?”
Changbin opened his mouth to say something but quickly closed it. The tears finally escaped from his eyes and he started sobbing in the hallway. Minho quickly put his arm around the younger’s shoulder and brought him in, closing the door behind them. He lead Changbin over the couch, sitting him down before rushing to the kitchen to get him a glass of water.
Quickly walking back, he noticed Changbin’s tears had stopped flowing, tears starting to dry on his cheeks. Minho handed Changbin the glass, sitting down next to him. The younger let out a soft thanks before chugging the water down. Minho rubbed his hand over Changbin’s back, hoping it could show comfort. After putting the glass on the table, he let out a large sigh.
“What happened to get you this upset, Bin?”
“Jisung and I had a fight.” Minho raised his eyebrows, not expecting that answer at all. The two hadn’t even spoken one ill word about one anothr since he had known them, how could this have happened seemingly out of the blue?
“What for?”
“I-It’s something stupid. He was hanging out with a shady guy from our past, I just got worried for him and he got frustrated. He told me to shut up and leave… So then I got angry as well and I said something horrible I-I shouldn’t have.” Changbin played with his sleeves, feeling guilty, angry and embarrassed all at the same time. Minho didn’t assume the worst. After all, Changbin was probably the sweetest person (besides Jisung) om this entire planet. His heart was so big and aphe was always ready to shower his friends with love, the boy didn’t believe it could be bad.
“What did you say? I’m sure it wasn’t as bad as you think.”
“N-No. It is bad, really, really bad. He told me to stop worrying and I… I told him…” Changbin sighed before continueing, “I told him that if he stopped trying t-to k-kill himself I might stop worrying.” He started sniffling again.
Minho’s mind was going 80 miles an hour, not sure what to think of the whole situation. He doesn’t know the history behind the two and the ‘shady guy’, therefore he didn’t know how valid Changbin’s worries were. Of course, his comment was pretty terrible, but Jisung had also seemed pretty angry towards Changbin from hearing the story. He quickly thought of Jisung. He didn’t feel the ‘anxious’ feeling something was wrong, but he still needed to know if Jisung was okay. He closed his eyes, Changbin assuming the older was thinking. Minho focussesd his mind on Jisung and after a short moment, he sees Jisung working his shift in the flower shop. He seemed to be slightly out of it, but other than that he was safe. Minho opened his eyes, looking at Changbin. The younger was watching him, scared Minho would get angry at him and was mentally preparing for the worst scolding of his life.
“Well, of course what you said is bad… which you already know. But I don’t know the whole backstory of the guy and of course it is understandable that you worry for him. He also seemed pretty weird all day today, in my opinion. I don’t know. Could you maybe… tell me something about the guy?”
“Alright… Well, I can but you have to promise me not to tell Jisung I told you this. It is very personal stuff and he is quite embarrassed about it.”
“I will try to do my best.” It was all Minho could promise. If it was something big and dangerous, he felt like he wouldn’t have another choice.
“Alright. There was a point three years ago where Jisung and his father were really struggling money wise. The guy Jisung was hanging with is a couple years older and is known on campus to deal drugs and sell weed. Jisung became desperate and decided to help sell cocaine a couple of times. Yes, when he was sixteen. He was so desperate for anything, he managed to get in contact with that Wang guy and whilst he is not a bad person, I can’t say the same about all the people in that business. I’m just worried he might fall back into that. The people you go to can be crazy… I think you know just as well as me that Jisung is a very handsome guy, but he also isn’t very strong. I’m just concerned someone will take advantage of that and beat him up… or worse…”
“Wow… I… see. I understand your concern, but Jisung is a smart guy, you know? I think you should be able to trust him a little more. Maybe it is best if you go round his house later, or give him a call? I could also call him if you don’t want to?” Minho would’ve been worried for his soulmate, had he not been able to feel and see how he was doing. However, there was no feeling that the boy might be planning something crazy and so, he decided to put his trust in the younger.
“N-No. I should give him a call. Thank you so much, hyung. I feel slightly better.” Changbin shyly opened his arms, almost embarrassed to ask Minho for a hug. The older just chuckled before throwing his arms around the boy’s broad shoulders. The two of them sat like that for a short moment before Minho felt Changbin pulling back. He quickly wanted to avert the topic to something more interesting, whilst also getting to know both of his friends better.
“Now, how about we talk about some fun stuff? I’m quite curious about the fun stuff you two actually did when you were younger. I only know the shitty stuff, honestly.” The two of them both let out a few chuckles.
“I can tell you about the time we got stuck in the mall after closing hours?”
“Wait, what?!” Minho let out a loud laugh, Changbin grinning cheekily. “Yeah, it was hilarious. At least, that’s what I thought. Jisung was shitting himself.”
“Okay, but how did you end up locked in?”
“Well, I guess the guard just missed us. Jisung had to pee really badly so we went to the toilets. I guess the guard was lazy and skipped them when doing his final round. We went to one exit but it was already closed, so then we went to the other one which was also closed. Then we just kinda stood for a moment and laughed, until we realised we were in there alone. We had to wait for two hours before the security showed up.”
“That sounds hilarious.”
“Yeah well, we were pretty hungry though.” Changbin chuckled.
“What do you even do for two hours? There’s like nothing there.” Changbin shrugged his shoulders before a weird look crossed his eyes. Minho didn’t know what it was, but Changbin continued talking. “Well, we talked a lot. About a whole lot of things. Good and bad.”
“Spare me from the bad, please… I don’t think I can handle that right now.”
“Don’t worry, we promised to never tell the bad to anyone except if it was our own stuff.” Minho pretended to let out a sigh of relief, over-acting by putting a hand over his heart. The two talked about some fun memories Changbin and Jisung had in the past, before the conversation eventually went a little quiet. Minho sat on the couch, small smile resting upon his face as he imagined tiny Jisung running around happily, no worries in the world. That was so long ago, he wished he could help the boy run like that again. “Yo, hyung.” Minho hummed in response, his eyes turning to meet Changbin’s.
“Do you like Jisung?”
“I do.”
There was no hesitation in Minho’s voice. Whilst he had his suspicions, Changbin hadn’t expected the blunt and confident response, his eyes widenening slightly. A big grin soon followed on his face, nudging the older slightly to show support.
“I knew it. I’m glad you like him. I can see in your eyes just how much you care for him.”
“I could say the same about you, Bin.” Changbin nodded and smiled, not denying the statement. “That is true, but it isn’t romantic and Jisung knows that very well, too.” Minho tilted his head, confused as to what Changbin was referring to. He could just tell by the way he was talking that there was more to the story.
“You know, Jisung has never had a crush on anyone before. Except for one time.” Minho didn’t respond, awaiting the answer Changbin would give him even though he already knew what the younger was about to say.
“I was his first and only crush.”
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Lowkey proud of this chapter 😗
My Stay In Playground photobooks arrive today I’m nervous for my pulls 😠Do you guys collect photocards? If so, for who? (Can also be a non-skz member of course)
I collect OT8 Stray Kids, but I collect Jisung non album. Also collect OT5 Itzy, Taemin and Minghao and Joshua from Seventeen… my wallet hates me 😙
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