I met up with Trevor in the parking lot on Monday morning, my hockey bag still in the backseat of his car. He opened the door and got the bag out, handing it to me.
“Thanks,” I said with a tight lipped smile.
Trevor’s smile didn’t look like the one he usually wore. This one was strained and uncomfortable, not friendly.
I didn’t know what to say to him, so I just didn’t say anything as the two of us walked into school together. I bid him a quiet goodbye when I left to put my hockey bag in the locker room.
When I made it to English class and sat by Nadia and Lexa, it was clear that neither of them knew about the kiss Trevor and I shared.
“Where did you run off to Friday night?” Nadia asked as I sat down.
“Just went home,” I lied.
“Why? We were having fun!” she exclaimed.
I rolled my eyes. “I know, you and Johnny were actually getting along.”
Nadia scoffed and looked over at Lexa who just smirked at her and shrugged.
“Don’t get used to it,” Nadia said with a huff just as my teammates walked into the room together.
Fox let his gaze linger on me longer than the rest and it was like my eyes were glued to his, forcing me to keep eye contact.
“I wonder if any of them are secretly gay,” Lexa thought out loud, looking over at where my teammates sat.
My eyes widened and I instantly denied her thought, “No, no. I don’t think so.”
“I bet at least one of them is,” Nadia added, Lexa nodding in agreement.
I just shook my head and took my notebook out of my bag, not speaking to them for the rest of class.
By the time lunch rolled around, I hadn’t spoken to any of the GSA kids and I wasn’t looking forward to sitting with them. When I walked into the cafeteria and got my lunch, my eyes darted to where the hockey team sat and I made my way over there.
“Mind if I sit here?” I asked, causing the guys to look up at me.
“About time you came to sit with us!” Ryan exclaimed with a wide smile.
I sat down beside Jude and across from Fox. There were a few girls at the table that I didn’t recognize, one sitting closely beside Josh who looked as if he was trying not to make eye contact with me.
“You and Trevor get in a fight?” Alex teased, his mouth full of food.
I rolled my eyes and Fox punched him in the shoulder.
“Ow!” Alex complained, rubbing his shoulder.
I chuckled, looking over at Fox, silently thanking him.
“How bad was your hangover yesterday?” Ian asked me, a sneer on his face.
“Brutal.”
“Poor Fox had to babysit you,” Ian teased.
“Why don’t you take care of me like that, Fox?” Alex whined, causing Fox to narrow his eyes at him.
“Because you’re more annoying than he is,” Fox told him, causing me to smirk over at Alex who let out an exaggerated gasp.
“Don’t be like that,” Alex whined.
I chuckled at his childish behavior and started eating my lunch. When lunch ended, Fox and I walked out of the cafeteria together and were soon stopped by Claudia in the hallway.
“Fox, I need you,” Claudia said in a rushed tone.
Fox’s eyes widened, as well as my own.
“What?”
“I kinda told Holly I’d take her ice skating this weekend,” Claudia sheepishly admitted.
“You can’t ice skate,” Fox deadpanned.
“Duh,” Claudia resounded exaggeratedly. “I need you to help me so I don’t look like a fool in front of her.”
Fox rolled his eyes and crossed his arms. “You’re not going to be able to learn in just a few days.”
“You’re useless. Elijah, will you help me?” Claudia turned to me with a hopeful look.
I was so focused on the confusion I felt watching the two of them interact that I nodded along before realizing what I was agreeing to.
Claudia squealed and threw her arms around my neck in a hug.
“Thank you! I’m free Wednesday night. Let’s do Wednesday night after your practice.”
She walked away with a bounce in her step after releasing me.
“Shit,” I muttered, shaking my head.
Fox laughed at me to which I returned with a glare.
“You won’t be able to teach her. She’s that bad,” he said, still laughing.
“You’re coming with me,” I told him in a serious tone, my eyebrows raised. “I didn’t mean to say yes to her.”
“Well, I didn’t say yes to her at all,” he countered with a smug expression.
I gave him a stern look and he seemed to give in.
“Fine,” he relented, “I’ll go with you.”
While I was relieved I wouldn’t have to deal with Claudia on my own, I was wary of being around her and Fox together. Seeing the two of them interact caused a discomfort in my chest.
I didn’t like the feeling one bit.
***
“Hey, I want to ask you something,” Josh announced, walking into my room as I was doing homework at my desk on Tuesday night.
“Hm?” I hummed, not looking up from my worksheet.
Josh walked over to my desk and shut my textbook, causing me to whine in protest and shoot him a scowl.
“Can it wait?” I asked in an annoyed tone.
Josh ignored me, sitting up on my desk and bracing his arms behind him.
“Your dad’s birthday is coming up,” he told me.
“I know that,” I replied, rolling my eyes. “So is mine, by the way.”
Josh waved me off. “His is first.”
“Okay? What, do you need ideas on what to get him? Because I have no idea,” I told him seriously.
My dad was one of those people that would like anything you got him. I could probably buy him a book of stamps and he would be happy with it.
Josh shook his head. “I just want to see if you’re alright with what I want to get him.”
“What do you want to get him?”
“Adoption papers.”
My eyes widened. “What?”
“I want him to adopt me,” Josh repeated, “so he will legally be my father.”
“You’re going to be eighteen in like, six months,” I said, probably sounding rude.
Josh sighed and leaned forward. “I know that, but even then he’ll still legally be my dad.”
My emotions were mixed. The selfish part of me didn’t want to share my dad with Josh in that way, even though I practically already did. I always felt like the two of them were closer than I was with my dad, and this would only further that.
But the more rational part of me knew that they already loved each other like father and son, and this would mean a lot to Dad.
“So, you’re asking me if I’m alright with me?” I asked him after a few moments of awkward silence.
Josh nodded. “I already talked to my mom about it. I won’t do it if you’re not okay with it.”
Josh and I shared eye contact for a few moments before I let out a sigh and nodded.
“It’s okay with me,” I told him, causing a smile to break out on Josh’s face.
“You know, this’ll mean we’re legally brothers,” Josh teased, hopping down from my desk.
I snorted out a laugh, shaking my head and looking back down at my homework.
“Alright, that’s all I wanted,” Josh said with a wave, walking toward my bedroom door. He left the room before I could say anything else to him.
Josh’s relationship with my father had me thinking about my own with my mother. There was a time when I was that close with her and it sent daggers through my heart to think that we didn’t even speak anymore. It felt like I was missing part of me.
I reached for my phone on the other side of my desk, my hand slightly trembling as I did so, and went to me recent calls. My thumb hovered over my mother’s number and wavered before pressing down and calling her. It only rang once before she picked up.
“Elijah?”
“Mom,” I rasped, mentally punching myself for thinking this was a good idea.
“Have you decided to come home?” she asked in a hopeful voice.
I sighed and squeezed my eyes shut so tight that I started seeing dots. My mind was conflicted and there was a tug of war between my heart and brain, causing searing pain throughout my body. My heart won and I answered.
“I decided to come see you,” I told her. “To talk.”
“Oh,” she replied, sounding slightly disappointed, but her mood picked back up, “That’s great! When will you be over?”
“Sunday afternoon,” I replied. I decided it was best that I picked the time, that way I would feel more in control of the situation despite actually feeling powerless.
“Will you be coming to church with us?”
I held back a scoff. “No.”
“I wish you would,” she urged.
“No,” I repeated. “I’m not going there.”
Mom let out a sigh. “Fine,” she relented, “You can come to church some other time.”
That wasn’t likely to happen, but I didn’t want to argue with her about it any longer.
“I’ll make you some lunch when you come
over,” Mom said after a few moments of silence.
“Okay.”
“I’m glad you called,” she told me with a content sigh.
“Yeah…” I trailed. “I gotta go Mom.”
“Okay, sweetheart. I’ll see you Sunday,” she replied.
I bid her a quick goodbye before hanging up the phone and I couldn’t help the dreadful,squeezing feeling in the pit of my stomach, squeezing so tightly that it felt as though my stomach had shrunken to the size of my fist.
I hoped this wouldn’t turn out to blow up in my face.
***
Wednesday night came too soon.
After hockey practice ended, Fox and I changed out of our hockey equipment and met Claudia, who was waiting for us on the bench.
“Fox,” she called out as soon as we made our way back to the rink. “I need your help tying these.”
He rolled his eyes but walked over to her anyway, bending down on one knee and propping her skate up so he could lace and tie them. I tried to ignore the sinking feeling in my throat as I watched them.
“God, Claudia. When’s the last time you even used these? The blades are fucking dull,” Fox hissed in annoyance.
She smacked the side of his head. “Don’t yell at me.”
“I’m not yelling, I’m just–”
“Just tie my skates,” she interjected.
Fox muttered something under his breath but finished lacing and tying her skates anyway.
Instead of watching them, I stepped out onto the ice and began gliding around the rink with my hands in my pockets. I looked over at the bench and saw that Fox was standing on the ice, Claudia tightly holding onto his hand as he guided her.
The sight of them together caused an unpleasant taste in my mouth. I looked down at my feet, shuffling my skates on the ice.
“Hey!” Fox called out, causing me to look up and see him pulling Claudia along as she clung onto him for dear life. “I’m not doing this all alone, get over here.”
I sighed and skated over to the two of them with a sullen look on my face.
“No backing out,” Fox shot at me, motioning for me to come closer.
Fox moved to let go of Claudia and she let out a shriek in protest.
“Claudia,” Fox said in a warning tone.
“You can’t let go of me!” she exclaimed, gripping him tighter.
“Just stand on your own!” he yelled back.
I was beginning to understand why the two of them weren’t together anymore, but that didn’t make me feel any better.
Claudia finally let go of Fox and stood on her own, stumbling a bit as she tried to balance.
“Spread your feet more,” Fox told her and she complied, screeching as she slid a little bit. “Come forward.”
Claudia held out her hands for me to take. I let out a sigh and grabbed onto both of her hands, skating backwards so I could pull her along.
“You’re never going to learn if you just have Elijah pull you around the ice,” Fox sighed, following us.
“Leave me alone, you’re mean,” Claudia shot back. “Elijah is nicer.”
I smirked over at Fox. “Yeah, I’m nicer.”
Fox stopped and watched us with an irritated look as we continued around the ice.
Claudia chuckled. “He’s so easy to annoy.”
“I know,” I replied with a chuckle. “So, you two dated and he never took you ice skating?”
Claudia threw her head back in laughter. “Oh, he did, but it was always a disaster.”
“And he was sweet about it at first,” she continued, “but later in our relationship, we stopped going because he got annoyed at how bad I was.”
She laughed again, not seeming bothered by talking about her relationship with Fox.
“Fox being sweet?” I joked, suddenly feeling slightly more comfortable around her.
“He can be very sweet,” she confirmed, “but he’s also an ass. You know how he is.”
“Are you going to actually skate or what?” Fox questioned, skating up quickly behind us and startling Claudia.
She jumped back, but I held her up from falling.
“You jerk!” she shouted at him. Fox just laughed and skated away.
Eventually, we got Claudia to skate on her own. She wasn’t great at it, but after an hour or so we decided that was all we could teach her and Fox offered to drive me home.
“I called my mom last night,” I randomly brought up as I sat in the passengers seat of his car.
“How did that go?” he asked, looking over at me as we still sat in the parking lot.
“Alright, I guess,” I muttered. “I’m going to see her on Sunday.”
Fox nodded. “That’s good.”
I sighed and leaned my head back on the head rest. “I don’t know if it is.”
“Hey,” Fox grabbed my attention, reaching out to touch my leg.
I turned my head slightly to look at him.
“It’ll be fine,” he continued. “What’s the worst that could happen?”
“I don’t know,” I murmured, turning my head to look out the windshield. “I guess I just really want this to work out, for her to accept me, and I’m just worried that it won’t.”
“I think it’s worth a shot,” Fox consoled me. “The worst she could do is kick you out of her house. Again.”
I looked over at Fox with a slightly amused look to see his teasing expression beaming back at me.
“I guess you’re right.”
“I am,” he assured me, “and if it all blows up, you can call me and I’ll come get you.”
I tried to hold back a smile but failed, my lips parting slightly to show my teeth.
“Thanks, Fox.”
“Didn’t I tell you not to thank me?” he asked in an annoyed tone.
I just ignored him and shook my head with a laugh. This friendship was beginning to feel more real than any other I ever had. It caused a warmth in my chest that was so strong I bet it made my skin glow.
And for that, I was grateful.
**
Hey everyone! Thanks for reading!
What did you think about Elijah sitting with the hockey team at lunch? And Josh wanting to be adopted? And what about the scene with Elijah, Fox, and Claudia? Let me know!
Also, I just want to thank everyone who takes time out of their day to read my story and vote/leave nice comments. I work all day and I’m so tired by the time I get home I don’t want to do anything but then I come on here and read the comments you left and it motivates me to get the chapter up. I know you have lives outside of reading and I have a life outside of writing so it can be hard sometimes to get the time and motivation to get things done. Kindness can go a long way, so thank you!
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