Out Of The Shadows: A Solangelo Fanfiction Chapter 37: Christmas

   It was finally here. The dreadful day of Christmas. As soon as he woke up, he got about 5 seconds of peace of not knowing what day it was until he realized. Then he couldn’t take his mind off of Bianca.

   He remembered one year when Nico was 5 and Bianca was 8. They were still living in Italy at the time. Nico woke Bianca up early that morning because he was so excited to open his presents.

   “Come on, Bianca! Wake up! It’s Christmas! That means you’re 8 now!” Young Nico said, shaking her.

   Bianca groaned. “Huh?”

   “Bianca! Come on! It’s Christmas and your birthday!”

   Bianca smiled at him and sat up in her bed. “I almost forgot! Come on! Let’s go wake mama and open our presents!”

   Whenever Nico thought about memories like that, he was always surprised to remember how innocent he was. How different he was. It was like the real Nico died when Bianca died, and was reborn into something completely different. He guessed he wasn’t totally off, though. Because Nico was sure that a part of him really did die when he heard the news.

   He was taken back to the present by a knock on his door.

   “Nico? Are you awake? Come on out and enjoy yourself!”

   “I’m awake.”

   “Can I come in?”

   “Sure, whatever.”

   Will opened the door and walked into the cabin. He was wearing some kind of really ugly Christmas sweater and a Santa hat.

   “What in Hades are you wearing?” Nico demanded.

   Will looked down at his sweater. “This? It’s an ugly sweater. It’s a newer Christmas tradition.”

   “Well, it sure is ugly.”

   Will laughed. “Thank you. That’s the point. So anyways, go get dressed and come hang out with me outside. Let’s enjoy Christmas. There’s tons of things we can do.”

   “No thanks. I’d rather stay inside my cabin today. I’m sure I’ll be out by tomorrow or the next day, though, so don’t worry.”

   Will rolled his and sighed. “Nico, we talked about this. You agreed that you would celebrate this year.”

   “Well, I changed my mind.”

   Will sat down on his bed, right next to Nico. “Nico, being alone isn’t going to help. Yeah, it’s going to be painful either way. That’s how it is. But being alone to think about the trauma the whole time? That’s going to make it worse. Being surrounded by people who care about you, who want to help you? That will help.”

   Nico leaned into Will slightly. “She would be 17 today.”

   Will wrapped his arms around Nico. “I know.”

   “She would almost be an adult.”

   “I know.”

   “Did you know it’s been harder for me to picture her face? The only reason I remember is because of dreams.”

   “That’s what happens when someone has been gone for a long time. I know it’s sad. I know how you feel, though. It’s been harder for me to picture Lee and Micheal’s faces. But I have dreams and pictures, too.”

   “I can’t remember my mother’s face very well. I don’t have any pictures. I wish I did. Sometimes I have dreams of her, but not often. When I think about her, I remember that Bianca looked a lot like her. So when I think of her I see Bianca’s face, which as I said, is starting to go, too.”

   Will kissed him on the top of his head. “I’m so sorry.”

   “What are you apologizing for?”

   “Everything. Everything you’ve been through. I’m just so sorry about it all.”

   They sat like that for a little while, until finally Will spoke up.

   “Come on, go get dressed and meet me outside. It’s time to celebrate Christmas. To celebrate Bianca’s birthday.”

   Nico met Will outside once he got dressed. It was lightly snowing, and there was Christmas music playing, campers were dancing and laughing, there was a big tree that people were putting presents underneath and opening, there were cookies and cakes and breakfast and hot chocolate set out and being consumed, there were people playing Christmas games, and more.

   “I am not going to participate in any of the activities or the music.” Nico said, crossing his arms.

   “Fair enough.” Will agreed.

   They walked over to the food and ate breakfast and cookies. After they were done, Will took Nico to the Christmas tree and sat down with him on one of the benches. “So-” He started to say, but Nico cut him off.

   “Can I give you your presents first?” Nico asked.

   “Nico! I told you not to worry about getting me anything. You already gave me amazing gifts for my birthday. You didn’t need to get me anything else. I don’t need presents, anyway.”

   Nico rolled his eyes. “You seriously think I wasn’t going to get my boyfriend anything?”

   Will grinned widely for some reason. “Nico, you said it!”

   “Said wha- oh fuck, I said it!”

   Will gave him a kiss while Nico blushed madly.

   “Don’t expect me to slip up like that again, Solace.”

   “That was a Christmas gift in itself!”

   “Whatever. Anyways, I got you 2 things.”

   “You mean 3?” Will corrected.

   “No, I got you 2 things.”

   “You called me boyfriend! That makes 3!”

   “Fine, believe what you want. So, here’s the first one.”

   Nico pulled out a present under the huge tree that was wrapped in Star Wars wrapping paper. When Will saw it, he grinned.

   Will opened it carefully, trying to preserve the paper, when he finally got to the present. His mouth opened and then closed, and his eyes were wide. He held it up. It was a limited edition rare Star Wars poster with all of Will’s favorites on it.

   “Oh my gods, I’ve wanted this poster since I was 7! I thought there weren’t any anymore!”

   The other present was all of the Star Wars movies and shows that had ever come out so that he could have them at camp.

   “Nico, how did you manage to get all of these?!”

   Nico just shrugged. “Shadow travel.”

   “But how were you able to pay for all of that?! The poster alone should’ve been at least 1,000 bucks!”

   Nico shrugged again. “It helps having a dad whose alter ego is the god of riches.”

   “Aw man, now I’ll never be able to top your presents! Just the Christmas presents are so much better than mine, but also the birthday presents you got me?!”

   “Oh shut up, Solace.”

   “Alright. I’ve got 3 presents for you. I can give 1 of them to you now, but the other 2 will come later. And none of them are wrapped.” Will explained.

   “Um, okay.”

   Will pulled something out of his pocket and handed it to him. It was a necklace with a camp bead. Nico had never gotten a bead before, yet on the necklace was his first bead. It was half orange and half purple. On the orange side, it showed the words “Camp Half-Blood” and on the purple side it showed the words “Camp Jupiter.”

   Nico looked down at the necklace in his hand. He remembered when he was 10, and just arrived at Camp Half-Blood, he saw all of the campers in their bright orange shirts and beaded necklaces. How when he had asked Chiron what they were for, he wanted one so badly. When he saw Percy when he was 11 he had thought that the necklace seemed stupid, just like mythomagic. He certainly didn’t want a bead. But here he was, with a bead in hand.

   Will rubbed the back of his neck. “Um, I know you didn’t get a bead at the end of the summer because you weren’t here the whole summer, but I didn’t think it was fair that Percy, Annabeth, Piper and Jason got a bead and you didn’t, so I was able to get you one.”

   “Thanks, Will. I really like it.” He smiled slightly and put the necklace on.

   Will gasped. “You smiled! You must have liked it!”

   “I already said I did, idiot.”

   “Okay, the next present should show up later today.”

   Nico nodded, but he was confused. What in Hades was Will planning?

   For the rest of the day, Nico tried to enjoy himself. He wore his new beaded necklace and stood by when Will sang Christmas songs with his siblings. They ate cake. Will found some candles and put 17 of them on Nico’s piece. Even though Bianca wasn’t there, he blew them out for her. Nico still refused to participate in any of the silly activities, though, so he watched while Will made a snow globe, an ornament, and other stuff.

   Partway through the day, presents came over on the wind for Nico. One was from Jason and Piper; they had gotten him some mythomagic cards and a rainbow flag and an Italian flag. There was also another flag for Will. It had blue and pink and purple on it. The other present came from Coach and Mellie. There was a note that said Mellie got help from some of the wind spirits to bring these presents over. They had gotten him his aviators jacket. Before Nico could wonder how they could have possibly gotten it, there was another tag that read that it was also to the help of wind nymphs, and Mellie had been able to patch it up. There were also baby pictures of Chuck inside.

   After he opened up the presents, he gave the flag to Will and showed him his own rainbow one. “What are these? I’ve never seen flags like these before.”

   Will laughed. “That was a good present. Um, the one you’re holding represents the gay community. Those flags are for people who are gay. Mine represents people who are bi.”

   Nico rolled his eyes. “Well, getting me this and the mythomagic cards just feels like an insult.”

   Will laughed again. “Jason and Piper got you mythomagic cards? Now you really need to teach me how to play!”

   Nico sighed. “Why are you so annoying?” He had a tiny smile on his face, though.

   Once the sky had darkened, Will seemed to get a bit jittery, like he was nervous.

   “What’s wrong, Will?”

   “Oh, nothing. It’s just that you’re present should be coming any minute now, and I’m just nervous about if you’ll like it or not.”

   “Huh?”

   Just then, Chiron stepped forward and clomped his hooves for attention. The music was turned down and the chatting stopped. Everyone began to walk forward, and as they approached Chiron, Will grabbed Nico’s hand.

   “Excuse me, everyone.” Chiron announced. “We have a birthday to acknowledge.”

   Nico turned to look at Will, his mouth ajar. “Is it?”

   Will smiled and nodded, and Nico covered his mouth in shock.

   “Happy birthday to the late Bianca di Angelo. She would be 17 today. When Bianca died, she never got a shroud to be burned. She never was noticed. She was 12 when she died, yet only the ones who were closest cared. So I am here today to let her know, wherever she may be, no matter if she can hear us or not, that we care. We remember. And Happy Birthday. Please raise your glasses to Bianca di Angelo!”

   Everyone who was holding drinks raised their cups and shouted, “To Bianca di Angelo!”

   “Bianca and her brother Nico had already gone through a lot in their short lives. They had lost their mother, put into the Lotus Casino for decades, and were stuck at a school run by a monster. Bianca had raised her brother for the years following their mother’s death, and was always caring and kind. When she was rescued by Percy and his friends, she decided to become a Hunter of Artemis, and barely a day later, was sent on a quest to save a goddess she had just pledged loyalty to. She died sacrificing her life for her other comrades, before even finding out who her godly parent was. Bianca has never gotten the respect and attention that she deserved. Not like Zoe or Lee or Pollux or Michael or Beckendorf or Silena or Luke or Ethan or the countless other demigods who had died. Barely anyone knew her name, though she had a lasting impact on the 2nd Titan War, even before the war started. She was a hero and she deserves to be recognized and remembered.”

   Nico felt tears falling down his cheeks. Will looked over and wiped them away.

   A couple of Hecate campers walked up to where Chiron was giving his speech and used illusions and the mist to make bright colorful words to appear in the air, along with fireworks. The words and fireworks were all green. Her favorite color. The words said “Happy 17th birthday, Bianca! We miss you!”

   Everyone cheered. Nico stared at Will. “You…you did all of this?”

   Will nodded, smiling. “I just got Chiron and the Hecate kids to help out. It wasn’t very hard. I just thought that Bianca didn’t get the recognition she deserved.”

   When Nico looked up, he saw an old picture of a baby girl. She had olive skin, dark brown hair, and dark eyes. Nico realized that that was Bianca. He had never seen a baby picture of Bianca before. Next showed a picture of Bianca when she must have been around 2, giggling while holding the hand of a baby. This baby was a boy who looked similar. Olive skin, black hair, and dark eyes. There was something familiar with him. Nico gasped when he realized that that baby was him. Nico hadn’t ever seen a baby picture of himself, either. The next image was of him and Bianca with their mother. His mother looked so much like Bianca. Her dark brown hair was pulled back into a bun, and she had a black dress on with a pearl necklace. In the picture, Bianca looked to be about 4 and was holding their mother’s hand while their mother held a 2 year old Nico in the other. The next image flashed, and it was a picture of Nico and Bianca in a beautiful garden that their mother had taken them to when they were younger. They looked to be about 7 and 5. Another picture showed a 7 year old Nico and a 9 year old Bianca on Christmas day, not long before their mother had died. Another picture showed an 11 year old Bianca in her floppy green hat smiling at a 9 year old Nico who was playing with his mythomagic cards. Nico remembered this moment well. They were in D.C. The final picture showed Bianca when she had just become a Hunter of Artemis. Her dark hair was pulled back into a braid. She was wearing a white jacket and white camo paints and was holding a bow. She had a confident smile as she looked at the camera, at whoever was taking the picture.

   As the pictures ended, Chiron ended with “Rest in peace, Bianca. You will always be remembered and will always be a hero.”

   Everybody stayed around to talk about her for a little while before continuing with what they were doing. The music became louder again.

   Will pulled something out of his back pocket. Will handed it to him. “Here’s the second part of your second present.”

   Nico was holding a small box. When he opened it, he saw dozens of old pictures. Some of the pictures were the ones shown in the sky, others were pictures he remembered being taken as a child. They were some of his mom, some of Bianca, some of himself, and some of them all together. There were even 3 of Hades. One holding baby Bianca next to his mom, one holding baby Nico while holding the hand of toddler Bianca next to his mom, and one of him kissing his mother on the cheek. It looked like that picture was taken before both of them were born, because their mom looked younger. Nico started sniffling as he looked at all of the memories.

   “You like them?” Asked Will.

   “Of course I do, idiot.”

   “Why do you always call me names when I try to do something nice for you?”

   “Because you’re dumb enough to think that I wouldn’t like them.”

   “Well anyways, you’ll never be able to forget their faces now.”

   Nico’s face suddenly looked pained.

   “Nico? Are you alright?” Will asked, worriedly.

   “Will?”

   “Yeah?”

   “Would…would my mother and Bianca still love me if they had known I was gay?”

   Will’s face looked sad. “It’s hard to say, Nico. Almost everybody who wasn’t a part of the community back then wasn’t accepting. Even people who were a part of the community had a hard time accepting themselves, like you did for a while.”

   Nico let a tear fall. “I never got to tell them, Will.”

   “I know.” Will wrapped him into his warm embrace.

   “I’ll never know…and they’ll never get to meet you…”

   “I know. But Nico, listen to me. You can’t keep thinking about what could have been. Doing that will only make it worse. I don’t know if this will help, but I have a feeling they would have accepted you.”

   “Why do you say that?”

   Will shrugged. “Some of the things you told me. How even though at church you were taught to believe being gay was wrong, your mother never told you that. Or how when those 2 men got taken away for being caught kissing, your mother had a pained expression and looked sad, she didn’t have a disgusted expression. And I mean, she fell in love with a greek god. I’m pretty sure even your dad likes guys. And with your sister, she didn’t seem very traditional, either. Didn’t she say that she wouldn’t get married and have kids if she didn’t want to? That’s definitely very strange for that time. And she joined the Hunters of Artemis, where she swore off men. Did you know that a lot of Hunters are asexual/aromantic and/or lesbian?”

   “Are you saying my sister was one of those sexualites?”

   “No. Even you said yourself, she had crushes on boys growing up. But the thing is she basically joined an asexual/lesbian street gang, so she was surrounded by them, even if she didn’t know it. But my point is that she was totally okay with swearing off men. Would a homophobic person from the 30’s do that?”

   “I don’t know….I really hope you’re right.”

   “Sadly, we’ll never know. But I just think there is a good chance that they would have.”

   As the music played, Nico sat on the side watching everybody dance and kiss each other. Eventually, after talking to his siblings for a little while, Will danced his way in front of Nico and put his hand out. “Dance with me?”

   “I told you, I’m not participating in activities. Besides, I would never dance in front of people.”

   “You said you would teach me.”

   “…”

   “What if we go somewhere where no one can see us, but where we can still hear the music?”

   “Will….”

   “Please?”

   “….Alright, fine.”

   Will grinned and grabbed his hand, dragging him to a secluded area.

   “Okay…what do I do?” Will asked. He looked nervous.

   “Well, I’m sure you wouldn’t want to do the Rumba, or the Samba, or the Foxtrot. I certainly don’t.”

   “Huh?”

   “Nothing. Just ridiculous 30’s dances. Let’s do something traditional that people still do nowadays. Okay, put your arms around my waist, and I’ll put my arms around your neck. This is a slow song, so we can just sway to the beat.”

   “Okay…” Will wrapped his arms around Nico’s waist. Even though it was snowy, his hands were still warm. Nico wrapped his arms around Will’s neck, and Nico slowly started to sway, Will following suit.

   After a while, Will got the hang of it.

   “You’re a natural.”

   “It’s probably because I’m a son of Apollo. Dancing relates to singing and instruments.”

   “I guess.”

   Will stared into Nico’s eyes. “You’re so handsome.”

   Nico blushed.

   Will pushed his forehead against Nico’s. “I’ve had an amazing Christmas. What made it my favorite was you being there. Did you have a good Christmas?”

   Nico hated to admit it, but he did. The first time he did since Bianca was alive. “Yeah.”

   “Good. I tried.” Will touched his lips to Nico’s, and Nico blushed even more.

   “To think only a few months ago I told myself I would never fall for someone again.”

   Will smiled. “To think only a few months ago I was praying to the gods that you would come back to camp. I just needed to see you again. The last time I had seen you was when you were doing work on your cabin.”

   “So I’ve been wondering…what did you wish for your birthday when you blew out the candles? You sat there with your eyes closed for a while, with a smile on your face.”

   “I wished that we would be together. And it came true.”

   “You did?”

   “Mhm.”

   “That’s so cheesy.”

   “That was the one thing I wanted most.”

   “You’re an idiot.”

   “But I’m your idiot. That’s what I so desperately wanted.” Will agreed.

   “I still don’t get why you would want to be with me, but if being with me makes you happy, then I won’t question it.”

   “Good. You shouldn’t question it. But does being with me make you happy?”

   “Of course. I know…I know I may not show it, but being with you makes me happier than I’ve been since Bianca was alive. Of course I still feel sad and broken and pained. That comes with all of the things the fates put me through. But you make that pain hurt a little bit less. So of course you make me happy. Without you…I don’t where I would be right now.”

   Will kissed him again. “Wow, that was a lot coming from you.”

   “I know.”

   “I’m really glad to hear you say all of that.”

   “Well, I tried.”

   They danced some more, and Will accidently stepped on Nico’s toes.

   “I’m sorry!” Said Will.

   “It’s alright, Will. It happens. You don’t know how many times I’ve stepped on my mother’s toes or Bianca’s toes when I was learning. Just relax, it’ll make it easier.”

   “How can I relax when I’m with you? Feel my heartbeat.” Will gently grabbed Nico’s hand and held it over his heart. It was beating really fast.

   “And you talk about how I always blush.” Nico scoffed.

   Will shrugged. “What can I say? I like you more than anybody I’ve ever liked. And it’s only been about 2 months since we started dating.”

   “Well, no more talking about me blushing, then.”

   “Deal.”

   The music took a turn to more up-beat and fast-paced songs.

   “So will you teach me some of those 30’s dances?” Will asked.

   “No way.” Nico shuddered. “I am never going to ever do any of those dances again.”

   “Okay, okay. I guess it’s time for your last present. It’s a bit personal, so I could give it to you in your cabin if you want.”

   “Um, okay?”

   “Great! Let me go grab something from my cabin real quickly. You can wait in your cabin if you want.”

   A couple of minutes later, Nico was sitting on his bed when Will walked in holding something behind his back. He looked even more nervous than when he gave Nico the second present.

   “Um, okay so I’ve been working on this present since we first got together. I really hope you like it.”

   He revealed the guitar that Nico had gotten him for his birthday, and he started strumming a familiar tune. A tune that Nico had heard when he was young and was scared at night. Will began to sing.

   Close your eyes, I know what you see

   The darkness is high, and you’re in ten feet deep

   But we’ve survived more terrible monsters than sleep

   And you know I will be here to tell you to breath

   Tu sei il mio soldatino

   La ragione per cui vivo

   Non ti scordar di me

   Io veglierò su di te

   Nico felt tears starting to fall yet again. That bit in Italian was what his mother would sing to him and Bianca when they were scared and needed to fall asleep. And Will said it in almost a perfect Italian accent.

   Stumbling lost, the last choice of all that you meet

   It’s the cost of ruling those ‘neath your feet

   Paths you’ve crossed, and trust you’re trying to keep

   You’re exhausted, listening for a voice that can’t speak

   Ma Nico, mio caro

   Tu sei il mio soldatino

   La ragione ho vissuto

   Non ti scordar di me

   Io veglierò su di te

   So you run, through shadows you roam

   Seams undone by the love you thought you could own

   But he’s just one of many that you might call home

   And maybe someday, the bitter will fade from your bones

   Fade from your bones

   Eri il mio soldatino

   Ora un principe oscuro

   Ma anche per te, c’è una luce

   Che ad un’altra vita ti conduce

   Will strummed the last chord, and his face fell when he saw Nico’s tears.

   “It’s alright if you don’t like it. I understand that I took some words from a song your mother sang, and wrote the rest of a song, and I wrote it in Bianca’s point of view…but the truth is I also kind of wrote it in my point of view as well, if that makes sense…I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have-“

   But before he could finish what he was saying, Nico ran towards him and wrapped his arms around Will’s neck, like he did when they were dancing.

   “I thought it was beautiful.” Nico said. For the first time, Nico was the one to kiss Will.

   Will looked shocked at first, but he kissed Nico back. He wrapped his hands in Nico’s dark hair.

   Once they pulled away, Will grinned. “I take it you liked the song?”

   “Shut up.”

   “Wow, that was the first time you kissed me. Are you ready to do that in public?”

   “You wish, Solace. We’re keeping with bickering and the occasional hand holding.”

    “So the usual then?” Will sighed. “Okay, but it was worth a shot, though.”

   “If you say so. How…how did you come up with all of those words in Italian? It was really good.”

   “I got help from Chiara. And thanks! I practiced for a long time.”

   “I can’t believe you wrote a song for me.”

   “This was the best Christmas ever.” Will said.

   Nico thought about all of the Christmases he had spent with Bianca and his mother when he was young. Then he thought about this one Christmas he had with Will.

   “This was my favorite Christmas, too.”

   And Nico meant it.