Theme: fluff? its not angst at least
Note: obagiyuu my beloveds i need more of them
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Obanai holed up in his room for the following days. Sanemi dragged him out for the back to school shit but he barely registered them. He kept remembering Giyuu in the car, his eyes wide, eyebrows dipping down and screwing his expression into a guilt-ridden, sorry one. It made him ache inside, almost wishing he had accepted the kiss. Instead, he had run away. As if it would erase his fears of losing Giyuu again. Which, of course, it didn’t. In fact, his worries had only been heightened.
Since then, Giyuu had sent him numerous texts and tried calling him endless times—though Obanai sent them all to voicemail, guilt biting him for rejecting the apologies. Despite refusing to respond to the texts, Obanai read through each and every one of them, aware this fact would pop up under the text bubbles and would probably make Giyuu more desperate for a response. But he could only avoid Giyuu for so long, what with school starting up again.
Obanai entered the school on their first day back alongside Sanemi, unsure how to feel. He had gotten two texts that morning from Giyuu, asking if he would be in school. He hadn’t answered them, knowing Sanemi had most likely told Giyuu anyway.
The morning went by quite smoothly, with only the mild disturbance of a teacher he’d had the year before, pulling him aside to confirm that he was alright. But then lunch came around and Obanai, deciding to skip it and walk around the school field, ended running into Giyuu. Although, on Giyuu’s part, it did not seem to be much of an accident.
He looked immensely relieved upon finding Obanai and blocked him from rushing back inside the building.
“Obanai,” Giyuu said quickly, grabbing his arm. “Obanai, can we just- Talk? For a couple minutes? It doesn’t have to be long, okay?”
Obanai debated this. Lunch would only last for about fifteen to twenty more minutes, so he supposed he could always just use the excuse that he was hungry—though he really wasn’t. Then again, ignoring Giyuu would be petty and Obanai should probably handle this more maturely. Despite having been anything but that for months now.
“Fine. Five minutes,” Obanai said, yanking his arm back.
Giyuu seemed satisfied with this, features relaxing slightly. He pulled on his sleeve, fidgeting with it as he spoke. “Thank you. Uhm, I don’t really know how to… I… I’m sorry, okay? I didn’t mean… in the car,” he mumbled, teeth tugging at the worn skin of his lip. It looked as if he’d bitten the hell out of it, indents of his teeth a tone redder than the pink of the skin in its vicinity.
Obanai mentally slapped himself for noticing. Fuck, he should be casting away thoughts like this. If he got back together with Giyuu, things would only go downhill again. He couldn’t… It wouldn’t work out.
“It’s fine,” Obanai said dismissively. He avoided Giyuu’s gaze, instead staring intensely at the grass blades that danced in the breeze. “Sorry for leaving you there like that.”
“No!—no, it’s okay, it was my fault,” Giyuu said quickly, starting to step forward then thinking better of it and freezing mid-step. He placed his foot back down awkwardly, disturbing the poor grass before continuing. “I shouldn’t have done that. And I made you uncomfortable. So, I’m sorry. I’ll… ask. Next time.”
Obanai glanced up at him, at the hope and longing in Giyuu’s eyes. Shit.
“Uh. Next time?” he asked tentatively.
Giyuu, catching his slip, flushed and looked away. The wind did him the kindness to make his hair fly up over his cheeks, obscuring the worst of the blush. “No, I… Never mind,” he muttered, taking in a quick breath before turning back. “I meant… I meant I’ll ask before doing anything that might- might make you uncomfortable? Like what I did that day?”
Obanai hummed. “M’kay.”
“Obanai? Can I ask you something?” Giyuu said, after a beat of awkward silence.
He gave a curt nod.
“How do you feel about me?”
Obanai faltered, hesitant. “What?”
“Like… I still like you. A lot. I never… I never stopped, so…,” Giyuu offered. “But what about you? Do you hate me?”
“No!” Obanai said, too loudly. “Sorry. Uhm. No. I don’t… hate you. I’m just not… happy with you.”
Giyuu nodded slowly, acceptingly. “Is that it? You just, what, dislike me? Does me presence bother you?”
Obanai shook his head. “It’s… not that. I’m mad at you. I don’t mind being with you—sorry, I’d phrased it wrong. I just don’t think we’ll be anything more. I don’t know anymore.”
Giyuu took a moment to process this. “I promise I’ll do better, okay? If… if you still like me and are willing to give me a chance—I wouldn’t blame you if you aren’t—I promise to do my absolute best. And more,” he added, moving an inch closer.
“I just… I’m just- What if you decide otherwise?” Obanai asked, tucking his chin down to his chest, heat rising to his cheeks. He felt so suddenly vulnerable and it was killing him. He wanted to run away, to hide, to go to Sanemi and have him comfort him again. Shit.
“I won’t!” Giyuu insisted, stepping forward, hesitance forgotten. “I promise! What I did—it was a mistake. And I’ve felt horrible about it since. I’m so sorry, I-“
A bell rung, marking the end of lunch. Both Obanai and Giyuu flinched, glancing at the school. Obanai stepped back.
“We… we should go,” Obanai mumbled, starting towards the school.
In an act of panic, Giyuu forgot himself, grabbing Obanai’s wrist with a frantic look in his eyes. “Wait!” he said quickly, pulling Obanai closer. “That’s just the first- Please, one more minute!”
Obanai hesitated. “Giyuu…”
“Please,” Giyuu pleaded. “One minute. I need to know your… answer.”
Obanai bit his lip. “I don’t… I don’t know.”
Giyuu went to respond but Obanai interrupted him, not yet finished.
“Giyuu—I felt like shit when you broke up with me. I get that that’s my own problem, but… but I could only think about you. I couldn’t bear it if you broke up with me again, especially without warning like before. But I don’t want to get back with you if there’s only higher risk of losing you all over again.” Obanai paused, looking up at Giyuu. They had moved closer at one point, barely a foot away now, and he had to crane his neck to look him in the eye. His breath hitched, seeing what he hoped was love and want written in Giyuu’s bluebell eyes. God, how he wanted to give in. Sink into his arms and let him pull him away. But then what? “I don’t know if I want to take the chance. I don’t know. I’m sorry, I-… I just… I’m sorry.”
Giyuu’s eyebrows creased and he nodded. He didn’t move away, however. But then again, neither did Obanai. They simply gazed at each other, reading the unspoken words of longing and regret and so much unsaid in their eyes, wishing there were a better way to fix this.
“I understand,” Giyuu said quietly, after a long moment. “But I love you, Obanai. A lot. And I promise that if you want to get back together, I’ll give it my all in giving you the boyfriend I should’ve been. I promise… not to leave. To stay with you. But I understand if you don’t want this. It’s okay.”
And then Giyuu was the one leaving and Obanai was scrambling forward, holding his wrist with both hands. Giyuu, startled, turned back, looking imploringly at him.
“Obanai…?” he asked, his voice so soft it was barely there.
But Obanai didn’t know what to say. He hadn’t thought this through, hadn’t realized he’d even decided to do that. And so he stayed silent for a moment, trying to sort his thoughts.
Giyuu stepped towards him again. “Do you… did you forget something?” he inquired, trying to act as if the obvious intense hope in his words wasn’t there.
“I… I just…” Obanai stuttered, face burning despite the gentle wind that made his hair dance around his head. “I don’t know.”
He looked away, feeling bad for being so repetitive and unsure of himself. But he really didn’t know. How he felt, what he wanted… everything.
The edges of Giyuu’s lips tilted downward slightly, confused. “I’m sorry… Am I reading this wrong? I don’t… understand. I thought- I thought you didn’t… didn’t want this.” He drew closer still, until he was bent slightly, only inches from Obanai’s face. They were close enough that they could kiss. And suddenly, it seemed all either wanted.
Impulsively, Obanai closed the distance between them until there was only a thin wall of air separating their lips from each other. So that all he knew was Giyuu’s breath against his face, his eyes so vibrant, their hair tangling as their foreheads bumped together ever so slightly.
“Obanai…?” Giyuu whispered. Obanai could feel his name being spoken against his lips, the movement, though scarce, teasing him, dangling a kiss that seemed just right out of his reach.
“I don’t know,” Obanai repeated. He leaned forward and then it was just them, Giyuu’s lips against his own, eyes fluttering close as a wave of emotion hit him. God, it had been so long since he had done this, he hadn’t realized he’d missed it so much, he hadn’t—couldn’t—
They pulled apart and for a moment, their eyes met. Then a look of mild concern swept over Giyuu and he reached a hand up, wiping a tear from Obanai’s cheek. He hadn’t even realized he’d started crying.
Obanai moved back slightly, voice tight with a barely contained sob. “Sorry. I… I don’t know where that came from,” he said, rubbing furiously at his eyes.
Giyuu shook his head, pulling him into a hug and pressing his lips to Obanai’s forehead. “It’s okay. I’m sorry, Obanai. I’m sorry. For everything,” he murmured. “I’m sorry for leaving you and for not talking to you, and I’m so, so sorry for not telling you how much I love you.”
Then Obanai couldn’t take it anymore and tugged him down for another kiss. Tears ran freely down his cheeks and he was crying and he didn’t understand why, but he let it happen, let his tears mix with Giyuu’s scent, with the kiss, with the apologies melting against his lips. But he couldn’t pull away, he wouldn’t—he had Giyuu back, god, Giyuu, how he loved him, how he had missed him.
But eventually, they detached from each other, breathing in heavily the sharp air. At some point, Obanai realized that they were missing so much class, that the bell must’ve rung again some time ago. But he didn’t care. He couldn’t care. Not now. He could care later. But right now, all he wanted was to sit with Giyuu right there on the field and tell him how much he had missed him. He wanted each weekend to make up for the endless summer weeks of loneliness. He wanted to be in Giyuu’s arms again and hear his voice and be with him and never, ever let go.
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« Word count: 1841 »
me last year would be horrified how little i post
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