Random Kny One Shots [Requests Closed] I love you; I don’t | {SaneGiyuu}

Theme: Angst? It’s not bad but there’s no fluff lmfao

Note: I js realized that my KokuZan oneshot “Confession, Rejection, Acceptance, Repeat” is basically like this 
Js a lil different in details

Spoilers<33

slight mentions of wanted suicide?? idk how to phrase it, but no one’s gonna commit js those ‘i wanna die’ that are half jokes half not? god help me

A little UzuRen mention

Idk but when I tell people my oneshot ideas somehow they always make me get angst ideas from what they say abt it, my sister told me i should end this in angst 🫡

×××

“Tomioka.”

Giyuu turned at his name, tilting his head at the Wind Hashira who stood there, his arms cross and eyes averted.

“Yes?” 

Sanemi bit his lip, as if contemplating his life choices. “I like you. Romantically.”

Giyuu gave a start, his eyes widening and cheeks flushing. “What?!”

“That’s what I said,” Sanemi snapped, embarrassed. He looked up, glaring at Giyuu through his bangs. “Do… you want to go out??”

“I… I-” Giyuu was at loss for words and his mouth opened and closed several times.

“Take your time,” Sanemi said, rolling his eyes.

Giyuu looked down. He wanted to say yes, really, he did. But. But, if he dated Sanemi, he would end up losing him. It wasn’t like he could protect Sanemi—one, Sanemi was at the same level (if maybe less or more) of strength as him, and two, he would never let himself be protected, really. Which just increased the chance of losing him, paired with the fact that they were both Hashira and were always sent on missions that were considerably harder. Dating Sanemi would only make Giyuu grow fonder and closer to him, which would make the loss… a thousand times more devestating. So…

“I’m… sorry, Shinazugawa,” Giyuu whispered. “I… can’t.”

Sanemi blinked, speechless for a second, before nodding rapidly. “It’s fine. Alright. See you around.” Then he turned and seemingly disappeared.

Giyuu sighed, raking a hand through his hair. He felt bad but… he’d feel worse if he lost Sanemi. Which was practically destined to happen if he had accepted, given his luck. People seemed to die away like flower petals on a picked rose when they got close to Giyuu.

×××

“I don’t fucking know! It’s like… I was getting mixed signals, it’s just… Fuck,” Sanemi groaned, banging his head on the table. “But he said no. And now there’s not fucking way I can show my face to him again.”

Obanai sighed. “We should go somewhere else, people are staring,” he said. 

“Right…” Sanemi grumbled, standing. “Let’s go to an ocean so I can drown myself.”

Obanai rolled his eyes and stood, grabbing Sanemi by the wrist and pulling him down a road. “Walk, bitch. We’ll go find a place we can train so you can let off some steam.”

“Mm.”

After Sanemi got ahold of himself, the two walked down the path side by side in silence. Obanai spoke up after a couple minutes.

“Just forget about Tomioka. It won’t happen in a flash but… try? If he said no he probably means no and he’s just stupid for acting like he likes you then rejecting you. For all we know he might not be into men. I don’t know, just try leveling your own feelings with his and see what you can get from it. But… yeah, I would ignore Tomioka too,” Obanai said, glancing at Sanemi. “It’s not like you two talk much in the first place, so it’ll be fine.”

Sanemi rolled his eyes. “Comforting. But, I guess. I’d prefer just to not think about him, to be honest.”

“That too,” the ravenette said, nodding. “Anyways, relationship are tedious things when you’re a Hashira. Or just in the Demon Slayer Corps, period.”

“Mm. And yet we have Uzui—in the Demon Slayer Corps, a Hashira—somehow married. To three people. And you can’t convince me otherwise that he doesn’t have his eyes set on Rengoku too,” Sanemi said, scoffing.

Obanai laughed. “He’s just built like that. The little fuck is more interested in romance than saving people’s lives.”

“Eh, wouldn’t we be too if demons didn’t exist?” Sanemi asked, crossing his arms. 

“Fair point. Or not. I don’t know if I’d exist if demons didnt,” Obanai murmured thoughtfully.

“The hell is that supposed to mean?”

“Nothing.”

“…Right.”

“…Back to Tomioka,” Obanai said, quickening his pace.

“No, not back to him. There should be a clearing up ahead, wanna spar?” Sanemi offered, unsheathing his katana.

“Bet. Loser has to buy the other something?” Obanai proposed, grinning. 

“Count your money, I want ohagi,” Sanemi said, racing ahead of him.

“HEY-“

×××

Years had past—yes, years—and Muzan was killed and Hashira were lost. Amongst the living Hashira were Giyuu and Sanemi. Tengen, as well, although he had retired a couple months before. And now that there was no obvious constant threat on their lives, they could live more freely, think more freely.

Paired with the knowledge of when they would die, Giyuu felt as if he could act upon whatever he wanted to. Befriend whom he liked, grow closer to those he wanted to. Somehow, throughout the years, he had loved Sanemi all the same. The feeling had wavered sometimes, but would come back in full bloom only a few weeks later. Since he no longer felt as if he would lose someone immediately because of himself, he decided to tell Sanemi of this. 

So, one day, he sent a crow to Sanemi, asking if they could meet together, maybe eat lunch. The letter was messily written as his dominant(is he right-handed?) hand was gone, but he hoped that Sanemi would be able to read it alright.

Luckily, he seemed to have been able to, as he arrived at noon at the park Giyuu had invited him to. The two had both brought their own lunches and quickly found a place to sit and eat. It was quiet for a moment as the two got their bearings together. The weather was nice, warm with a light breeze, and there was a soft scent of sakura flowers in the air.

Giyuu ate clumsily, not yet used to using his left hand as he struggled with his chopsticks.

Sanemi tilted his head towards him, an amused smirk growing on his face. “You eat messier than Rengoku.”

Giyuu huffed. “I’m trying!”

“Mhm. What did you me to come here for? Just to eat?” Sanemi asked, putting down his chopsticks. 

“Ah. You know when… you said that you liked me?” Giyuu said hesitantly.

“Well fuck, going right in. Yes. I don’t want to remember that,” Sanemi said pointedly, sighing. 

Giyuu gave him a small, lopsided smile. “Alright. Well, I told you ‘no,’ not because I didn’t like you, but because I didn’t want to lose you. You understand, yes? I’m sorry… for that. And for not explaining. I just… panicked. I didn’t want to risk losing you, then blaming myself forever,” he murmured. 

Sanemi stared at him. “That’s… Fuck you,” he said, grumbling. 

Giyuu sighed. “I’m sorry.”

“Why are you telling me this now, though??” Sanemi asked, raising an eyebrow. “It’s really out of the blue.”

“Ah… About that,” Giyuu said, his voice lowering. “So…”

“Hm?”

“About what I said, that I said no, not because I disliked you? Well. Well, I did like you. I… do,” Giyuu mumbled. “I like you.” He cast his eyes down as he waited for a response. When he didn’t get any, he looked back up at Sanemi.

Sanemi looked hesitant, his eyes down at his food on his lap. 

“What’s wrong?” Giyuu asked curiously.

“I just…” He trailed off, his eyes meeting Giyuu’s. “I don’t like you like that anymore. I stopped, after a while. I figured I had no chance, so…”

Giyuu blinked. God. Of course. He should’ve expected this. “Oh.”

“Sorry,” Sanemi murmured. 

Giyuu shook his head, forcing a smile. “No, no, like you said before, it’s alright. It’s fine. You don’t have to apologize, it’s completely my fault. Uhm… I have to go now, I just remembered I promised to meet Tanjiro later, see you around…” he said, fumbling with his food and standing, quickly rushing off.

“TOMIOKA-” Sanemi shouted, his food falling to the floor as he stood.

Giyuu didn’t look back, pressing a hand to his mouth to stop a sob that threatened to spill out. He should’ve expected this. There was no way in hell Sanemi would’ve stayed in love after years, it was a miracle he’d loved him in the first place. Of course.

×××

« Word count: 1380 »

i don’t know what i’m doing in life anymore