Random Kny One Shots [Requests Closed] Toxic | {DouKaza}

Theme: Angst

Note: *Randomly wants to do a little toxic relationship* (that’s my version of a TW 😋 Basically, this will be more toxic relationship type of angst than my usual angst writing)

Akaza had started by hating Douma. Very much. From his fake smile to his stupid way of walking. Everything about him was so fucking irritating. But somewhere in the middle he’d fallen in love. And his smile and his walk and his voice and his body and everything. Everything about him became so endearing he couldn’t take it. 

Douma was the opposite. He never felt anything. He just was there. Trying to make friends, seeing if he would feel. He might say he wanted to know how it would be to feel actual emotions, but that would be a lie. Because he’d be feeling want if he wanted something. He didn’t want anything. He just watched how others acted and tried to fit in, not that he minded if he was shunned aside. He just noticed how others hated that and acted as if he hated it as well. He felt if he faked it he would be more normal and could just live as he wanted. He never grew attached, didn’t care about anything. And if he was being honest, he didn’t care if he died. He neither wanted to live or die. He didn’t care what happened to him or to anyone. Akaza seemed to take a liking to him eventually, though. And since he’d seen so many people fall in love and be together, he’d accepted the confession. He pretended he felt the same and forced himself to blush at Akaza’s touch, forced his body to act the ways Akaza seemed to want him to. But it was all just an act. It was a fake little thing he pretended just so it would go on. He didn’t care about Akaza but convinced himself he did because otherwise he would realize the lies in his own act he pretended were just facts.

Akaza didn’t noticed this at first, blinded by his own feelings. When Douma wrapped him in his arms and repeatedly expressed how much he loved him, he believed this. Because he wanted to. Not because it was real, but because that’s what he wanted to hear. When Douma kissed him tenderly and rested his hand on Akaza’s thigh, he embraced it. Simply because his heart was still naive. He may have killing thousands but his heart knew almost nothing about love. His last love was centuries ago. He wanted to believe this was real as much as Douma had convinced himself it was. But at the end of the day, Akaza was still perceptive as ever. He could be naive but he wasn’t stupid.

Douma and Akaza fought often. Fought about insignificant things, fought about the past, about the present and future. Fought about who was with who, when, where. Their fighting was constantly ceased either of them might either give up or one might try a touch of affection to stop the fighting. But it only ceased for a little and one of them always burst eventually. And this time, the topic was a lot more than a small irritation. Akaza had been brushed off by Douma as if he was nothing. Akaza was furious.

“Douma,” he growled, crossing his arms and looking up at Douma.

“What is it now,” Douma asked, sighing. 

Akaza raised an eyebrow and Douma realized he shouldn’t have said that. “What? Do you think I’m just a child who gets angered easily? Is that what it is?”

“You do! You get mad about the smallest things ever,” the blond said exhasperated. He was used to these fights. He didn’t really care but he knew Akaza wouldn’t like it if he just walked away, so he stayed.

“You..” Akaza started, gritting his teeth. “What the fuck do you mean? It’s always your fault!!”

“Oh, is it my fault now? My fault you constantly shout at me?” Douma shot back.

“Yes! Yes it is!” 

Douma was still talking though. He continued, his arms crossed as well now, an eyebrow raised in a mocking way. “My fault you think everything I do is suspicious? My fault you keep fighting me? My fault that as hard as I try to keep everything at bay, you keep making it worse?”

Akaza was very irritated now and stomped down with one foot, like an upset child. “Shut up! It’s your fault you don’t actually love me!”

Douma froze then, and he paused his rant. “What did you say?”

“It’s your fault for dating me and not actually loving me,” Akaza repeated.

“But I do love you, I’ve told you that so many times!” Douma said, though he felt that Akaza was right.

“You don’t, I just know it,” Akaza whispered. “You just use me.”

“I do not! I can’t believe you would say such a thing about me, I thought you loved me!”

“Don’t you fucking dare turn my feelings against me,” Akaza said, his fury rising.

“You said you loved me, but here you are, saying I don’t love you, saying I’m a liar,” Douma said, ignoring Akaza’s comment.

“You’re sick. You’re a sick and toxic person who thinks it’s amusing to use people for yourself,” Akaza said, slowly backing away. But Douma shook his head and darted forward, his hand wrapping around Akaza’s wrist and pulling him towards him, an act he did often. He wrapped his arms around Akaza’s waist and said, “No, I’m not using you! I swear! Besides, that wouldn’t make sense.”

“And how so?” Akaza asked, though his arms had fallen limp to his side. Douma had a way of making him feel weak inside. He would say he hated it but he truly loved it. 

“If I can’t feel emotions, I can’t feel amusement and I have no reason to use you,” Douma said, forgetting to say it as if it wasn’t true. And Akaza noticed that. He pulled away suddenly, shaking his head. 

“So you really can’t feel emotions, no? So everything about you is fake? That plastic little smile of yours and your insistence that you love me? Fucking bitch. I can’t believe it.. No, actually, I can. And I’m done with you,” Akaza decided, glowering.

“Akaza, please, no. It’s not true! I was saying it as, ah, as if it was true to make sure you would understand,” Douma insisted, unsure why he kept trying with Akaza anyways. It did give him something to do, and though it only gave him a little entertainment, he found it a little interesting how Akaza kept coming back to him, even with all their fights. It was almost a game now, to see when Akaza might give up on him. “I love you so much.”

Akaza shook his head again, as if wanting to believe it, but knowing he shouldn’t. But then Douma was at his side again, running his fingers through his hair and Akaza melted. He leaned against Douma’s body, his breath still quick from his outburst. He sighed quietly and Douma’s arms were around his waist. “Sorry, I’m just paranoid, I guess,” Akaza murmured. 

“It’s alright, love,” Douma whispered back, placing a soft kiss on Akaza’s forehead. How easy it was to get Akaza back. He really was very naive. Douma had a strong hold on Akaza’s heart. How long would it last? It really wasn’t good for Akaza, and maybe Douma really was just fake and toxic.

{Word count: 1234}

probably not a good idea to end it right there just bc the word count was at 1234 💀 But anyways..

this is me most randomly wanting to write a little toxic relationship angst in the middle of the night but not being able to since my dad took my flashlight (😒) so I wrote it today (not me scrambling to do my hw but there’s too much article-reading for my liking so I decided to write instead 💀)