I didn’t want Ruari to come but I’ve just discovered how stubborn he could be. I could have argued with him until he caved but I didn’t have the time. I have no doubt he’d follow us if I forced him to stay and Bran alone would not be able to hold him back.
He thinks I’m making him stay back because I see him weak, someone in need of protection, but that’s not the reason at all. Â Why couldn’t he understand?
When the surviving patrol reported the attack my first instinct was to get him to safety. I don’t want him anywhere near the men who’re threatening to take his life. I want him at a safe distance, guarded and protected. It’s not because I don’t trust his abilities, it’s simply because I want him safe. But he’s damned bullheaded! Now he’s running behind me, full speed towards danger.
I could smell the stench of spilled blood mixed in the air. I shifted and let Keiron take over. The others followed my lead and shifted behind me. Only Ruari kept running in his human form. If I weren’t too preoccupied and worried about what’s waiting ahead of us I’d be dumbfounded.
How could he keep up on his human form with half a dozen wolves running at full speed through the forest?
Once I heard the echoes of the fight I charged forward leaving the others to follow my trail. I jumped in the middle of the fray in time to save a member of my pack from being mauled to death.
I grabbed the ash colored wolf by its hind leg and dragged it away. He tried to snap back at me but I pulled harder and pinned him on the ground, satisfied when I heard his hind legs crack. A brown wolf came charging at me but I easily dodged it. I twisted my body before it could get its bearings and bit down on its shoulder digging my canines deep before shaking my head wildly taking a huge chunk of flesh.
The others arrived seconds after me but for some reason I couldn’t sense Ruari. I started to panic and didn’t notice another wolf charging towards me.
“Ciaran!” I heard Ruari cry out in time to see the wolf lunge in the air.
I crouched low ready for the impact but to my surprise Ruari appeared to cover me, grabbing the wolf by the throat in mid air. He slammed it on the ground a once, twice, over and over until it’s rendered unconscious.
“You take that one!” He shouted pointing at the wolf on my right side. “I’ll handle this one,” pointing at the one not far from him.
I inclined my head in assent and charged forward. I had the wolf down when I heard Ruari shout out. I tore the wolf’s throat out before looking up to find him. He had the wolf he was fighting with beaten. It was lying unmoving on the ground but another had its jaws clamped on his arm dragging him back. When Ruari didn’t fall another charged forward and bit him on the shoulder successfully bringing him to his knees. I howled in anger and moved to help him but a huge blonde wolf blocked my way.
They’re all after him. They’re leaving the others wounded or dead but once they’re free to attack they don’t go for me or the other warriors, they charge towards Ruari.
“Lorcan! Help Ruari!!” I ordered through our pack link. I now have three wolves circling me and if someone doesn’t help Ruari soon he might die.
I could see he’s still on his knees trying to shake off his attackers. Why isn’t he phasing? With vicious wolves four times his size charging with the intent to kill this is no time to fight in human form.
I saw my beta running from the other end of the clearing charging at the wolves blocking his path but I know he wouldn’t make it. There were more wolves prancing around Ruari waiting for an opportunity to strike.
I felled one of the wolves in front of me but another showed up to take its place. They’re keeping me away, preventing me from helping him. I moved for another kill but they kept on coming. I was starting to get desperate. Somebody have to help him fast!
Ruari managed to dislodge the wolf biting down his arm and grabbed the one by his shoulder. He pulled it off his flesh and threw it unceremoniously towards a nearby tree with enough force to break its back. Before any of his other attackers could move in, Ruari phased and killed them all.
He whirled in my direction and howled when he saw the wolves circling around me. He charged forward and lunged in the air dropping lithely beside me baring his teeth in a vicious snarl. He growled so loud it caused all the wolves in the clearing to stop fighting. The ones we’re facing backed down instantly, their ears flattened on their skulls. After a few threatening snaps of his teeth and harsh pounding of his paws on the ground, they turned tail and ran.
Ruari stepped forward to block my body with his and howled. His wolf form was beautiful. He’s not as huge or as muscular as my pure black wolf but he’s sleek and as big as Lorcan, my beta. His fur is reddish brown with white on the chest and stomach area, black streaks run on his back starting from his collar and ending on his tail. Then it hit me. The reason why he kept fighting in his human form, why he didn’t want to phase in front of our enemies. Ruari is a rare tri-colored wolf.
After the fight all that remained on the clearing were my pack warriors. Everyone was staring at Ruari as he stood unmoving beside me. His coat was covered in blood and his muzzle was still dripping red. I don’t know how much of the blood on his fur is his or isn’t all I could think about is he’s safe. And right he was standing proudly beside me, where he belong.
Ruari was still on a defensive stance in front of me. He growled when Lorcan tried to come forward and eyed the others suspiciously like someone would charge forward and attack us. But the sight of the two of us standing side by side froze them on the spot.
I turned and nudged him with my nose to get his attention. He turned to me slowly and rubbed the side of his body against mine. I licked his face and nuzzled his neck. I could feel his wolf connecting with Keiron consciously for the first time. The moment was indescribable. The pack warriors gathered closer forming a circle around us, as we stood nuzzling each other, and howled in victory.
We carried the wounded back to the pack house. Â I ordered the others to get the bodies of our fallen members and to prepare for the inevitability of another attack. While I was busy giving instructions I noticed Ruari refuse the help of a pack member to bind his wounds and quietly sneaked up the stairs.
“Alpha,” one of the pack doctors said motioning for me to sit down so I can be treated.
“Treat the severely wounded first.” I said waving him off, my eyes focused on the direction of the stairs. “I can wait.”
He nodded before walking away to crouch down beside someone who needed his help more than I do.
I walked up the stairs and traced my way towards our rooms. I walked straight to Ruari’s bedroom, knocked twice before opening the door.
Ruari was sitting on the edge of the bed with his head bent low. His eyes trained on his bloodied hands. He was only wearing the shorts handed to him earlier and the nasty bites on his shoulders and arms were very visible. They were healing but not fast enough for my liking.
He didn’t look up or acknowledge my presence when I entered the room and fetched the first aid kit on his bathroom.
“Ruari,” I called him gently before approaching. Something’s off, I don’t know what but he feels… different.
“He’s resting,” he answered gruffly. His voice was deeper, rougher, and when he looked up his mismatched eyes were glowing brightly.
Rothe, Keiron called from inside me clawing desperately to the surface.
“Rothe?” I repeated the name and he looked at me confused. “Keiron’s worried. He’s calling for you.”
He turned his face away and blushed. I smiled. This is interesting. I’ve never heard of a wolf that’s in absolute control of his consciousness in human form. Most wolves go on a rampage when their human counterpart is pushed back or unconscious. But not only is Ruari’s wolf in absolute control of his mind and body, he’s doing it even on his human form.
“You said Ruari is resting,” I asked kneeling in front of him. “Is he alright?”
He looked at me for a moment before answering, “He’s weakened but mostly unharmed. He lost consciousness not long after he fell on his knees, before I took over.”
I wiped the blood off his wounds making sure to clean it thoroughly before wrapping it. The bites were too deep and the skin too broken. It would probably take a few days to heal properly.
“Why didn’t you come to the surface before the fight?” I asked.
I was curious. For werewolves, shifting is the natural thing to do before you run into battle. But Ruari not only fought in human form, his wolf allowed him to do so. Why?
“Ruari doesn’t like it when I fight and he’s better when we’re in human form. I was confident he could hold up on his own.” He replied. I waited for him to continue because I know that’s not all there is to it. He turned his face away before continuing, “I lose control when there’s too much threat around us and Ruari, well… he doesn’t like it when I lose control.”
I remembered how he killed the wolves surrounding him in a flash. There were four of them, all warrior class, and all dead in a blink of an eye. I guess Rothe is lethal when he loses control.
“I’ve never done that before.” He said in a quiet voice. His head bent low and his eyes glistening with unshed tears. “I’ve never killed anyone before today. When Ruari wakes up and finds out what I did he might…” He couldn’t finish what he was about to say because he was already sobbing.
I put my arms around him and held him close. I could feel his fear and pain. It came as a surprise that it hurts me to see him this way. But then Ruari is Rothe and Rothe is Ruari. They are two parts of the same person and I’ve come to a realization that I love them both.
Rothe continued to cry and Keiron whimpered trying to connect with him.
So this is the reason why he’s hiding up here. Those people were his first kill. I wonder how Ruari would feel about that.
“It’s going to be fine,” I whispered brushing his hair with my fingers. “You were in a life and death situation. Ruari will understand.”
“But he told me to hold back…” He sounded like a child.
I gave him a quick peck on the lips to shut him up. It warms my heart to discover that Ruari have this side to him, strong yet fragile. A bit immature and childish. He’s a bundle of contradictions and I look forward to seeing more sides of him in the future.
He buried his face deeper into my chest and continued to cry. I just held him, waiting for him to calm down. Keiron did all he could to give him comfort and gave me a grunt of approval for being gentle.
The first time I was forced to take someone else’s life I ran deep into the woods and relieved myself of all the contents of my stomach. I shook from head to toe, feeling hot and cold at the same time. I ran until my feet blistered and bled. I don’t know why I was running all I know was I had to get away. I hid in the forest for two days before coming back. I was eighteen, barely a man, but I was alpha. I just lost Ruari a couple of months before that incident and I didn’t want to lose myself too. I walked out of the forest a changed man, my last thread of innocence lost forever.
Rothe is right to feel remorse and fear after his first kill. If he didn’t I’d be worried that there’s no compassion or feeling in him. That he’s nothing more than a bred killer. I still don’t know how Ruari would react when he learns of this but I have faith that it won’t be as bad as Rothe fears.
“Hush love,” I whispered pulling him closer and wrapping my arms around him tighter. “Everything is going to be fine. I’m here and I’m going to protect you.”
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