Quick note:
As this is obviously fiction and I can do whatever the fuck I want with this I’m making the song “if I could fly” as if it came out in 2020. I remember reading that when the lads heard Harrys song they cried and ever since then I’ve wanted to write it out in a fic. So with that in mind, in this chapter I’m making it so the lads have only just heard the song.
Plus, I’m not exactly a professional song writer, so I’m not going to just come up with one for the plot as it will probably just end up too cringy to read😂😬 xxx
A few days later:
The lads were currently on their way to the studio as they had had a call early this morning from management letting them know that they needed to start compiling song ideas into a file for when they start recording the album.
Louis found it a little strange that they were getting ideas together this early on however he understood that making an album was a long process. Plus they do have a tight schedule with tour and everything, so he happily got out of bed (or rather got dragged out of bed by Niall, but no one had to know that) and made his way to the studio.
When they reached the studio they all sat down on sofas and chairs with notepads and sheets of music ready to begin the lyrical process. To be honest, Louis didn’t have much to offer as he had only just got back from tour himself and had used most of his time creating music for his solo career, but if it came down to it louis could contribute his solo material to the band.
Sat with them was their music producer who had worked with them on their last two albums, so the lads found it easy to communicate their ideas with him and discuss melodies along with what message they wanted to portray to the fans. He understood them in and out and was very successful with his job.
“Nice to see you again lads, been a while hasn’t it?” Julian said cheerily.
“Yeh you too” Liam replied smiling.
“So let’s get started then, firstly, have any of you got any completed songs because they’re always easier to work with at first than snippets of song ideas” He asked them, turning his serious mode on.
The boys shook their head apart from Harry, who looked like he was contemplating saying something.
“Harry?” Julian asked, clearly he could see the cogs spinning inside Harrys head just as much as Louis could.
“Umm, I do have one song, it’s uh, it’s quite personal though” he said, the boys could tell he was uncomfortable sharing the song, indicating it was probably quite deep, maybe a Ballard?
“Look I know it’s always a struggle performing deep songs in front of a group of people, but think about it, we all know how good of a song writer you are, I could see that when listening to you solo album, so if this song turns out to be great it could end up on the album, the fans could connect with it” Julian stated matter of factly.
The boys all nodded while Harry just sat there chewing his nail and looking into space.
“Come on Harry, you know we’re not going to judge you, I bet it’s going to be an amazing song just because it’s you who’ve written it” Zayn said reassuringly.
Harry sighed but stood up and made his way to the piano.
“Fine, it’s called if I could fly” he said before sitting down and taking a second to compose himself.
The lads and Julian all sat upright, ready to hear the song. For Louis, this would be the first time hearing him sing for about four years now, he needed to prepare himself.
Harry started playing and a soft melodic tune filled the room, it was slow which meant this was in fact going to be rather emotional.
“If I could fly, I’d be coming right back home to you” Harry sang, his voice was soft and angelic and even just from the first line it was so emotional.
“I think I might, give up everything just ask me to”
Louis listened closely to his voice, taking in every word and trying to figure out what it meant. He knew it was a love song, of course, but little did he know it was dedicated to him.
“Pay attention I hope that you listen”
Oh, Louis was listening alright.
“Cause I let my guard down. Right now I’m completely defenceless”
Louis looked around to see that everyone’s eyes were trained on Harry, not moving a single muscle, just taking in what he sang and letting the emotion flow through them.
“For your eyes only, I’ll show you my heart, for when your lonely, and forget who you are, I’m missing half of me, when we’re apart, and now you know me, for your eyes only”
Harry sung the chorus with such passion it vibrated through the room, the words washing over them like waves. He had his eyes closed while singing and furrowed eyebrows atop of them, showing it was painful for him to show such emotions.
Right now Harry was vulnerable. He couldn’t hide behind his tough facade and he couldn’t mask his face from showing emotions. This song brought out his feelings in ways nothing else could, and although it was heartbreaking, it’s was nice to see Harry expressing himself after such a long time.
“I’ve got scars”
Louis head snapped at this, he didn’t know if it were metaphorically or the truth but he only hoped it wasn’t the latter, how could he be in this much pain?
“Even though they can’t always be seen. And pain gets hard, but now you here and I don’t feel a thing”
Louis once again looked over at the lads and saw that Liam was actually crying, teardrops falling down his cheeks slowly, not caring if they dripped onto his shirt. Jesus of this is what it did to a band mate what would it do to the fans?
Harry opened his eyes and looked at Louis before singing again.
“Pay attention I hope that you listen, cause I let my guard down, right now I’m completely defenceless” he sang, locking eyes with Louis.
For the first time in ages Louis saw actual, raw emotion in Harrys eyes, it was at that moment he realised the song was meant for him, and this is why Harry was so hesitant to play it.
Harry was conveying a message to Louis. He was serenading him, and Louis felt like he was the only person in the room at that moment. He didn’t know when this song was written or if the lyrics still applied now, but he didn’t care, as he knew that this is what Harry once felt for him, may even still feel for him now. But he had fucked it all up, he had a chance and he blew it, and it is still to this day the biggest mistake of his life.
There’s only one thing Louis regrets most, and it’s breaking Harry styles’ heart.
Harry sang through the chorus once again, still singing with so much passion that Louis was finding it hard to hold back his tears.
“I hope that you don’t run from me” he sang softly, eyes glazed over but not letting any tears fall.
And that’s what broke it for Louis. He finally let his first tear roll down his cheek because he realised he had done the one thing Harry didn’t want him to. He had ran from him.
Harry must have written this while they were still in a relationship, he must have written down that one line while they were still together. Harry has hoped Louis wouldn’t run, but Louis still ran. And if Louis was feeling guilty before, it was nothing compared to what he felt now.
Harry sang the last lyric and his hands came to a stop, resting on the piano keys as he sat in silence, staring at the studio wall.
Nobody spoke. Not even Julian. They just looked at Harry sympathetically, but also in awe at his writing skills.
Liam and Louis both wiped their tears and took a deep breath when Harry turned to look at them all. His emotions had once again been wiped off his face almost as if he hadn’t just performed the song most dear to his heart.
When everyone had finally gotten their sense back the lads suddenly looked at Louis with a knowing look in their eyes. They must know the song was written for him and that Harry and just poured out his emotions right in front of them, telling them and Louis exactly what he felt at the time, might even feel that way now.
The tension was broken by Julian though as he spoke up.
“Wow Harry, that was uh, that was incredible. This definitely needs to go on the next album”
“No” Harry replied sternly.
“No? What do you mean no, that’s one of the best songs I’ve ever heard, there’s so much emotion in it, the fans would love it” he said desperately.
“No means no” he stated.
“But haz just- Niall started only to be cut off by Harry.
“If I didn’t even wanna share it with you lot why do you think I would want to share it with the fans?” He said, voice getting louder out of frustration.
“Look just think about it, you don’t have to decide any time soon” Liam said softly, trying to calm him down.
Harry didn’t answer. Instead he abruptly stood up, grabbed his things and left the studio, slamming the door shut behind himself.
Author notes:
Sorry this chapter is a little shorter than normal, I just didn’t want to drag it on when I feel like this is how the chapter should end.
I hope this chapter was emotional for you, I’m not sure how good I was at portraying the feelings but I tried my best:/
Please don’t forget to vote and comment so I know how your feeling about the book:)
Love you all xxx
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