Soccer ~˜… Bxb Romance Novel ˜…~ Chapter 14 ~ Max’s POV

Max

The night sky glittered through the windows of the venue. I popped the top two buttons of my dress shirt as the speeches took place. Sammy and Jenna, Ken and his date Michael and I all danced together in between courses. I took a break from the dance floor to glide around thanking my teammates for a great year. I saw Asher and Reece with their dates, and shook their hands, thanking them too, for a great match in the finals. I managed to avoid seeing James.

My loneliness set in when I looked around, taking a sip of my punch, that everyone had a date. James would have been here with me tonight. I had fun, but Sammy and Ken had people with them and I didn’t want to intrude. I danced, swaying my hips to the music by myself, and spotted James Kendrick, also alone, in the sea of people.

It was deep into the semi-formal, after an upbeat pop song, that the DJ switched to a slow song for the slow dances. Sammy and Ken took their dates in their arms, held them close. I looked away when they kissed because it was hard to watch people so happy. I slowly backed away from the dance floor to the back of the room, looking out at the view and then back at the dance floor, the coloured lights making the scene all the more beautiful than it already was.

I felt the presence of another person nearby in the shadows. My heart-beat quickened far too fast when I realised who it was.

I didn’t expect him to move closer and speak but he did. I didn’t expect to be so enchanted by his voice and the dip in his Adam’s apple when he spoke, and the smell of his expensive cologne, but I was. I didn’t expect to find myself watching his lips as he bit them subconsciously, or his muscular hands as he held himself steady against the wall, but I was.

“Where’s your date?” He asks, a shard of ice to his tone, deciding a hello is overrated for us.

“I never had a date…” I leave it at that.

“Why not?”

I don’t answer and he keeps x-raying me with his eyes, which show me how he sees me now in the reflection: timid, reserved, tense.

“And how come you’re alone tonight?” I ask, although I doubt I’ll get a response. He surprises me.

“Bringing him as a date would have been unprofessional,”

I nearly break my composure and laugh, even though I know I’m the joke he’s spinning.

“I’m going to the bathroom,” I say, because he won’t stop cutting his eyes to my neck and I’m about to collapse.

“I’ll go with you,” He starts “unless you don’t want me to-”

I almost object, because I need to breathe and his presence makes that simple task so difficult. But I’m masochistic and say it’s fine. Because I’ll destroy the walls I’ve built up to protect myself, because I want this guy with me, and I want him bad.

I watch him through the mirror as I leave the stall. I’m glad he doesn’t see me looking, but then he looks up and our eyes meet. I lose my dignity and trail my eyes over every movement he makes. I lick my lips and feel the muscles in my stomach tie themselves in a knot. I turn and lean my lower back against the bench top. My mind searches for all the things I can do, alone with James, just us two in this bathroom. And all the things I could not do. I could walk out like nothing has ever happened and we’re strangers to each other. I could pretend that my adolescent wet dream isn’t in this empty, candle-lit bathroom with me and that he isn’t looking at my belt like he’s planning how to remove it. I could pretend that I don’t want him. Or I could not pretend.

My decision is made.

“James.” I call.

I’ve said the name so many times, I’ve shouted it, whispered it, breathed it; but the syllables sound entirely different on my tongue as I taste them for the first time in a while.

James walks painfully slowly towards me. I reach out to caress his shoulder and curl my fist into his crisp white shirt.

“Max- you just,” he breathes, “you can’t do this to me.”

My first name on his voice for the first time sends me somewhere else. I promise myself not to hurt him as he confesses our last four years in six words.

I switch our positions so I can plant kisses on his neck and chest. When he flips us around, his dominance sends a thrill down my spine and I want him to do whatever he wants with me. When we kiss, everything makes sense and my hands travel everywhere I can reach, pulling him closer into me and losing myself in him.

When we finished, we embraced each other, breathing shakily, in the bathroom stall. I didn’t know if we had spent five minutes together for two hours, but I got dressed quickly, stumbling out of the tiny stall to give James some space. He was buttoning up his shirt, when I finally came crashing back down to earth.

“Fuck, I don’t know what to say…” I begin, pulling away from his lips. He lets me read his face without hesitation, and I can see his emotions swelling, and I can feel myself running.

“Max I- I think I’m in love with you. I have been for years now.” He stammers.

I let out a deep breath I’ve been clinging onto. I thought this would be relieving. I thought one hit would make it stop. I thought that was what we wanted. I thought I could never bring my emotions into this, but there he goes, destroying me again, punching me where I’m already bleeding. I’m so angry I practically yell at him.

“James, take it back. Why do you have to make everything so complicated for me? For yourself? Finally I feel some relief, like I can get you out of my head, and suddenly it’s love? Why can’t you let me go?”

James’ entire frame cringes as he steps away and watches the side profile of my face. He thinks I’m disgusted by him, and I let him believe it because it’s easier if this awfully catastrophic argument ends things before I scream I love him too.

“I’m just some spectacular fucking burden to you, aren’t I? How nice that you can make use of me for once. Until there you go, you’re running again.”

He leaves me empty.

“I’m going to go.”

And he walked motionlessly, silently, out of my life like he was never even there.

James’ fragrance was burned into my tuxedo but I couldn’t bring myself to rip it off as I drifted off into a restless sleep staring at the empty ceiling. The next few weeks passed by in a blur. Guilt seeped into my core and I reminisced over every moment of the spring formal, replaying the scenes back in my head over and over and over.

It was on a fateful, early summer afternoon. The grass on the empty field was green as I arrived for training, earlier than usual so I had time to stretch and warm-up. The sky swirled with fluffy white clouds and the sun’s warmth on my skin was pure bliss as I stepped out of the changerooms to stretch.

And there he was. Hair golden like a halo in the afternoon sunshine, his back arched and his legs crossed.

The cold thrill of fear rushed through my veins, and before I knew it I was walking towards him, calling out his name.

And he looked up. His shoulders dropped. The sullen expression James held with his watery blue eyes was transforming to neutral.

“You’re crying.” James’ voice travelled towards me. “I think you owe me an apology.”

“I’m so sorry.” I said as I slowed. I was sobbing.

“You like ruining good things for yourself, don’t you? I know you, Max. I’ve always known you, I’ve watched you for years. Almost as long as we’ve been in love with each other.”

I was watching my tears fall down onto my shoes, and then I felt a hand on my shoulder. James was embracing me. I folded myself around him, still shaking. Our breathing synced, and then we both let go.

“Will you give me a chance?” I asked timidly.

And then he smiled.

He smiled. A soft, first date smile. And I smiled back, parted my salty lips and smiled with my teeth as I found myself just centimetres away from this golden boy I adored.

Maybe we had a long way to go, and maybe we were young and stupid and there was nothing in the world routing for us other than ourselves. But I whispered ‘I love you’ into his hair, and that was a promise I knew I would never, that I could never, break.

Or so he thought. 

He Cheated – the sequel also available to read right now on my account. 

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