“Fuck, fuck, fuck.” She moaned, her whole body against one of the cubicles of the hospital’s comfort room, her hair stained her back as she moaned shamelessly while she was being fucked from behind, “God, you feel so good.”
“Want more of my dick?”
“Yes.” Sandra replied before she closed her eyes, feeling the hands of her co-doctor cupping her breasts from behind while he continued to pump faster inside of her, “Fuck me real hard.”
And it was a routine. Her routine. It was an easy game – a game of seduction and sex with no strings attached. It was an easy game to play and she mastered it. If she couldn’t have the time to go bar hopping and find herself a good guy or a sexy chick to fuck, she’s banging the doctors in the hospital, because why not? She knew her male co-doctors wanted to fuck her too so when she caught one of the doctors sticking his eyes on her as she passed by the hallway, the brunette did not hesitate to invite him for a quick fun in one of the comfort rooms.
“God, I have been wanting to fuck you for quite some time now. ” The man moaned as he thrusted into her roughly, “I wanted to put my dick into your hot, dripping pu –”
“Can you,..” Sandra pulled herself back as she turned around to face him, she did not know what was wrong, but it just didn’t feel right and it didn’t sound good, “Can you just –”
“Hey, what? What’s the problem?”
“Forget it.” The brunette replied as she wore her underwear back, she sighed as she fixed her dress before looking back at him with her eyes dead, “Forget this happened.”
“Hey, what did I do wrong? I thought you wanted me to fuck you.”
“I wanted, but now I don’t.” She answered before she opened the door, but before she even had the chance to go out, he held her hand.
“Just…” He sighed, “Just let me finish.” He pleaded, sweaty like a sixteen year-old boy begging to have a kiss.
“You have hands. Masturbate.” And out she was, walking as if she wasn’t moaning shamelessly in that cubicle.
—–
As she approached the hospital’s rooftop, Sandra pulled out a cigarette. Her thoughts were jumbled, and she was dissatisfied with everything. With her heeled foot, she kicked an empty can, which rattled and pounded aggressively on the other side of the wall. Despite the fact that the afternoon was hot and the sun was shining, she was on the rooftop, hoping to get some fresh air. She didn’t understand herself and was too afraid to accept it; all she wanted to do was go home and pout in bed.
The taste of the cigarette was an addictive kiss and she savored every bit of it as she took a sip. With the smoke of that ephemeral pleasure, the brunette was able to calm herself down. Sandra slowly sat on one of the benches and it was when she realized how beautiful the front scenery was. Tall skyscrapers were erected, ostensibly proclaiming their control over the entire city of New York. Slowly, Sandra smiled bitterly at herself. She dreamt of having this – of having it all, and now, she was a doctor. She had her dream, but along with that, she let go of her. Oh, how bad that decision was, but she knew that holding on would cause them more fatality so despite the fact that it hurt, she had to let go.
The untouched dinner was still on the table. Cate was sitting on the table, with her head bent. Sandra knew she was crying. She could see the tremors of the blonde’s shoulders and she knew too that Cate was holding herself not to let out a sob. Time was a traitor. While the blonde was busy with her developing career, the brunette was having her residency.
“And do you think I am not trying?” Sandra broke the silence as she turned around to look at the blonde who was still sitting on the table, “Do you think I am playing games here?” Cate remained silent, “Fucking answer me, Catherine!” And with that, Sandra’s tears started falling too.
“In which part are you trying?” Finally, Cate spoke up. “I don’t see you trying. All I fucking see is you making up excuses with your studies and residency and I am so fucking tired of having to collect pieces of you!” The blonde’s voice rose up as she stood from the table, “I am fucking tired of always the one waiting for you. I am fucking tired of –”
“Then go fucking rest!” Sandra angrily replied as she wiped her tears with the back of her hands, “I didn’t ask you to wait for me every single night. I didn’t ask you to wait for me to finish my studies and I didn’t ask you –”
“And that’s the problem. You didn’t ask me to wait, but I did anyway.”
The whole space went into a complete mum. Silence filled the air with only the ticking of the clock and the occasional deep sighs of the two. It was a heartbreak – having to argue over and over again. Having to shed tears and having to pick up pieces of broken glasses was a chore. Sandra was about to walk out and go to their room to rest when Cate dropped the bomb.
“You just love the idea of having me, but I do not think you love me.” The blonde stated which made the brunette to turn back at her, mouth wide and in shock, “I do not think you are that in love with me becau –”
“Are you fucking kidding me? We are going onto our fifth year anniversary and you’re exploding that I don’t love you bomb? What the fuck is wr –”
Cate cut her off, “And I am tired and so hurt.” She added calmly, as if her face wasn’t full of tears, “I am hurt and upset and tired.”
“Really? Have you heard yourself? Have you heard me complaining to you about not having time for me too? I understood everything. You got taping? Fine, I’ll cancel our dinner. You got meetings with directors and your fucking hollywood friends? Okay, I won’t wait for you to come home. Have you fucking heard that all from me? You fucking didn’t because I am trying my hardest to understand.” Sandra’s tears started falling again, but she was quick to wipe it away, “Fine. I am sorry for letting you feel those. I am sorry that you got tired and upset and I am sorry for unintentionally hurting you. I just thought that you understand that…this is me.,” The brunette pointed at herself trying to make a point, “…that this is me chasing my dream. I thought you’re all fine about this, but I am sorry. I am sorry for letting you feel everything that you are feeling. You know what? Hurting you is something I will never ever try to do, yet I did and I am sorry. I think it’s better if we end this all up. I don’t want to keep hurting you.”
Cate kept her tongue, but she sure was hell sobbing. The debris of her heart were crushing like vulnerable bones and it was a massive hit that she just wanted to get a knife and stick it to her chest.
“I have work tomorrow and I am expecting you to leave while I am gone. You’re free to get all the things that you bought, but please leave the blanket that you bought for me. Goodnight.”
“No.” Cate spoke, her shoulders shaking violently as she stopped herself from sobbing, “Stay. Don’t do this. I’m sorry. I don’t know. Let’s talk.”
She shook her head, “I don’t want to hurt you anymore.” Sandra wiped her tears, “Let me go.”
Sandra shook her head as she dropped her cigarette on the floor. She thought that it was one of those messy nights and in that morning, they would kiss for an apology. But no, when she woke up that morning, Cate was no longer there. Her spare key was left on the living room table, along with a note that up until now, could still pierce Sandra.
***
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