There was nothing she could do to bring her back. And that was the tragedy Sandra knew she had to eat flesh to bones. The I love yous she still wanted to say will never ever break free from the walls of her throats and she knew that, maybe on her deathbed, that love and longing will forever be in one with her choked back sobs. Her riverbed of longing will never be empty because Cate will forever live in it, that she knew.
“Doc? Doctor Bullock? Doctor Bullock, are you okay?” It was the soft tap on the shoulder that pulled Sandra out of a reverie.
Damn it. All the shareholders in the hospital were looking at her, waiting for her to say a word. Sandra didn’t honestly know how long they had been waiting for her to open her mouth and now, they were looking at her like she’s a deer in front of a ravaging car.
“Yeah. Sorry I was thinking something.” She mumbled, massaging her head in an attempt to hide the frustration deep down, “What again?”
One of the doctors genuinely asked, “Are you okay, doctor? You seem stressed and –”
“I’m okay. Where were we?”
One of the shareholders spoke up, “So as I was saying, the revenue that we are getting last year seemed to be just a portion of what we are having this year. But this is not a pavement for us to be slacking. We still need to improve our goals and make sure we meet all the KPIs we have established for this institution.”
The brunette, not getting any understanding from all of it, took a sip of her now cold coffee, “I agree. Yeah.”
“So?” Across her, another shareholder butt in.
“So what?” Sandra asked back, completely baffled.
“Your take…”
“Oh, yes! My take…” All she wanted to do at that very moment was to just head home and rot on bed, “I agree that the uh, the revenue that we are having this year is way greater than what we had. Of course, our huge gratitude extends to our medical workers who work tirelessly each day, hence, I think we better invest towards them even more. Let us give back to them. Give them an even better compensation because how we take care of our workers, it will show up on how they give back to us. It’s a win for both parties.”
“Yes, I agree.”
“Absolutely, Doctor Bullock. That’s a commendable thought. We better do it.”
Sandra nodded. At least in that 3-hour meeting, she was able to input something that they all agreed to. As soon as the meeting was finished, she didn’t even stay for a short chit-chat with everyone. The brunette got up and exited her way out of the meeting room, anticipating to let the comfort of her office seep through her system.
“God, thank you. Finally it has ended already.” She mumbled at herself as she walked towards the hallway.
There were several nurses and doctors greeting her as she walked. Some of whom she knew already, others were new faces to her still. As the brunette was about to turn to a turnstile, the voice of her assistant stopped her.
“Doctor Bullock!”
“Yes?”
From the look of her assistant’s face, she seemed to have underwent a battle. Her face was sweaty, her face all red and flushed.
“Are you okay? What happened?”
The younger woman nodded, smiling at her insanely while panting subtly, “I have been looking for you. I thought you were still in the meeting room. I’ve looked at the —” She started rambling.
“Wait, wait, stop, okay?” The brunette held her shoulder to make her stop, “Are you okay? What happened?”
It felt like Sandra waited for the whole world to stop before she received a response from her giddy assistant. With a smile so big, the brunette thought it could light up the whole night sky later, her assistant beamed at her.
“A very handsome person is waiting for you at your office!”
The brunette raised a brow, completely baffled as to who, “What? Who?”
“A friend of yours. I didn’t get the name. Just a very handsome person is waiting…” The younger woman smiled,”…with a bouquet on hands too.”
The brunette didn’t wait any longer. She left her beaming assistant on the hallway as she rushed towards her office. Her mind had pulled out all the prospects it could give, doctors that she had worked with before, friends from New York, still she didn’t really know as to who could it be. As she arrived at the door of her office, the brunette took a deep breath; she took a quick look at herself, contemplating if her white suit ensemble and her red stilettos made her look presentable enough.
Why bother though? I’ve always been pretty and presentable. Ain’t a question anymore.
Her little thought to herself made her laugh. She then pushed her office’s door opened and damn right, her assistant was not joking. Insanely hot and handsome – those were two of the many adjectives that blew Sandra right across her face as she saw who was waiting for her inside. Do you know that feeling when your stomach drops? That was what she felt upon locking eyes with the visitor inside. She was too old to be feeling this, Sandra thought to herself. That stomach dropping feeling followed by the gazillion butterflies in the stomach, damn.
“Hi, your assistant invited me in. Told me to wait for you here.”
She was adamant the visitor spoke, but none of it had reach her mind. All Sandra could focus on was the fact that there was someone utterly handsome waiting for her with a bouquet on hands.
“Here, for you.” And how could she talk now when the visitor in question had walked up to her and handed her the bouquet?, “Sandy, you okay?”
Wrapped in a black and white suit ensemble, Lou looked so dashing right there and then. There was something different about her that Sandra couldn’t pinpoint. But she was pretty and handsome at the same time. As soon as the brunette was able to pull herself to reality, those two adjectives weren’t enough to outshine the question that had instantly pop in Sandra’s mind as she received the bouquet in her arms.
“What the fucking fuck are you doing here?” If that wasn’t crispy enough, it sure did make it even worse as the brunette handed the bouquet back to Lou; Sandra then walked towards her table, leaving Lou standing a meter from the door, before she turned back to look at the blonde again, “Didn’t I tell you I prefer not to see you anymore, Louise?”
“First of all, stop calling me Louise.” Lou started as she started to walk towards her, “Second of all, I know you’re mad. And I am here to apologize.”
“Mad? About what?” A taunting scoff went out of Sandra’s lips, “For walking out on me mid-sex? For leaving me naked in your goddamn office? Apologize about what?” To say that she was mad would be an understatement; Sandra stood in front of her table, her arms crossed as she waited for a reply.
“Before I apologize, it would be nice if you take my bouquet.” Lou spoke, her voice calm and casual, as if the woman in front wasn’t mad already, “So pretty, here.” She added as she took Sandra’s arms and gave the bouquet to her forcefully, “I’m sorry, okay?”
“I’ve asked you, for what? For walking out on me mid-sex?” Sandra retorted again, rolling her eyes that Lou found so adorable to look at.Â
“No.”
“Then fucking what?” Sandra asked, obviously angry as the put the bouquet down on her table.
“For what I’m about to do.”
“What do you –”
She wasn’t even able to finish what she was about to ask because Lou pulled her by her waist before the blonde claimed to mark her territory on her lips. It was that electrifying feeling that made the brunette realize what was happening. Lou had her hands on her waist, and her lips on her lips. It wouldn’t take a genius to decipher what was happening. And suddenly, it felt like all the papercuts on Sandra’s existence had sealed itself. All the untended graves of her past versions became well-kept. Suddenly, the world didn’t felt so harsh anymore.
“You’re shaking.” Lou paused as she took Sandra before her, yet she didn’t wait for an answer for she took Sandra’s cheeks and claimed her lips passionately once more.
***
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