Throughout her profession, Sandra dug out graves for corpses that weren’t even her own; it was a habit, a reflex her body was so familiar with. And so knowing the fact Lou was hospitalized, she utterly left her office for three days just to nurse the blonde in her hospital room. She didn’t care what the whole hospital would say – a medical director taking care of a patient that wasn’t her own? She didn’t care, all she cared about was knowing Lou was fine every second of her stay there.
“Careful.” The brunette spoke, her voice almost mother-like as she stood beside the door and watched as Lou slowly stood up from the bed as her nurse just unwrapped the bandages on her, “Thank you.” She added, giving a sweet smile to the nurse before the nurse nodded at her and went out.
“Finallyyyyy!” Lou groaned, her grin almost covering her face as she looked at the brunette, “Finally, I can go home and ride my bike again.”
“You’re not doing that.”
Lou shot her a glare before sitting back down on the bed, “And why can’t I?”
The brunette sighed before she went in front of Lou and without a word, she picked up the blonde’s slippers and put it on her like a little kid.
“Because…” Sandra took Lou’s left foot and put on her slipper, “…you’re still not fully healed. And you need to –”
“Why are you so good at me?”
The question left Lou’s mouth like a leaving spirit. The way it glided on her tongue hinted that it had so much curiosity on it and made Sandra stop. The brunette was still holding Lou’s left foot when she stopped, obviously pondering on what to vomit for an answer. Thankfully, after a few seconds, the brunette stood up, brushing her hands together as she stood across the blonde on the bed.
“Because I’m a doctor.”
The blonde squinted her eyes at her, indicating that she wasn’t convinced, “But you are not my doctor.”
“Okay. It’s because we are friends.”
“We’ve been friends for days only. Barely a week.”
“Yeah, friends for days but here you are, on the hospital bed, inside the hospital I’m leading.” Sandra crossed her arms against her chest as she shook her head, “…so much for a first impression.”
“At least my first impression is not crying at a random stranger.” The blonde countered, her smile so wide as she looked at the brunette who was frowning at her already.
“You should thank the heavens that you’re still not fully-healed, because if you were, I’d be kicking your butt for bringing that up.”
Lou laughed at her. With a tsk, Sandra gave Lou her dismissal form so she could finally go home and get some more rest.
—–
The melancholy in her heart started to taste bitter and painful. As the droplets of water from the shower hit her skin, the brunette closed her eyes pondering on the week’s event. She had spent so much time with Lou for three days and the longer she was with her, the stronger her guts were on her suspicion that Lou might be Cate. But there was no evidence of it all; it’s just her guts, her feelings. She had spent time with Lou hoping that she could see patterns of Cate on her, but unfortunately, there was none. Cate’s absence still hung heavily like an unspoken poetry in the wind, and each day, Sandra was getting so frustrated. If she had only accepted her back, would she be refrained from tasting the doom she had at the moment?
With anger, Sandra turned the shower off. She then got her robe and wrapped it around her body before she came out of her bathroom. Passing her living room, her television set was still on, and on it, one of Cate Blanchett’s movies was playing. Cate’s voice resonated all around the living room space and for the brunette, it was better that way. It was a trick her mind had learned to do in order for her to not spiral into the pits of sadness.
The brunette passed by the living room and came barging inside her room. She was about to walk into her cabinet to get herself her pajamas when her phone on the bed started ringing. An unknown number flashed on her screen and when she saw it, she had cursed all the gods because she had an inkling that it might be from the hospital. As doctors, they didn’t own their time. It was a profession she vowed to never forsake so time was not in her hands. With a sigh, the brunette took the call, eventually readying herself for what was about to be handed to her.
“Hello? Dr. Bullock speaking.”
“Hi.”
That voice. Hearing that raspy yet velvelty voice on the other line eradicated all the burdens in Sandra’s bones. She felt the weakening of her bones that the brunette gradually sat on the bed, her eyes wide and full of anticipation.
“It’s Cate…”
The sudden intrusion of those words felt like a fucking joke. Sandra looked at her phone – an unknown number. She didn’t know what to say, but all she felt were the crashing of the walls she had built around her heart. She felt the ropes around her still beating heart untangling and with a breath, Sandra’s entire individuality succumb into tears.
“Cate?” The line fell into a death of peace that Sandra didn’t know existed, “Where are you? I miss you…”
She had expected a bag of words that would remedize her soul; those words that would glue back all the broken pieces in her, but what she had heard was the opposite. A loud and boisterous laugh echoed, as if what she had blurted was funny.
“Please! I’m sorry, I didn’t know you’d fell into that. It’s Lou!” The line spoke followed by another litany of giggles that sent the brunette spiraling into anger.
The fuck? What was so funny about that?
“Lou?”
“Yes, it’s Lou!”
The brunette stood up from her bed. She could feel all the blood in her system rushing up to her face and with her teeth gritted, Sandra replied, “Well, fuck you, Miller! Fuck you! You are such a fucking jerk!!!” She yelled at her before tossing her phone angrily to the bed.
Why would she ever do that? As the phone fell back to the bed, Sandra felt the humiliation wrapping her up like a corpse in a coffin. And with her, standing in her room, with nothing but loneliness, she cried. The devil’s deed had done her so bad that with one hopeful hint of mockery, she jumped into a goddamn cliff, hoping that the breaking of her bones would save her.
 ***
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