New to town with a made up name in the angel’s city,
Chasing fortune and fame.
And the camera flashes
Make it look like a dream.
She examined her own image in the mirror. She wouldn’t be staring blankly at the reflection staring back at her if things were different. Her hour-glass figure was highlighted by the golden gown, and her breasts appeared much larger than normal. Her hair brushed up against her shoulder blades, enhancing the definition of her collarbones. Her crimson lips looked like sin, broken vows, and regrets, and her blue eyes were bluer than the last time she noticed. Was the color red supposed to make her look hotter, or was it supposed to inform her about all the things that made her heart bleed?
Despite the thunders that rumbled beneath the oak of her heart, she stood bravely. She was a stunning woman. She would be the brightest of all the stars if she were a star. She was, indeed, a star in that location of scrutiny and fame. She would adorn carpets with her crimson gleam-glossed lips and teeth whiter as the linen of innocence and purity. She was stunning, and her name was one of the most coveted in the entertainment industry. People of all ages aspired to be like her, to be with her. Women admired her, and men would give their lives to kiss her feet.
What else could she asks for?
Fortune and fame clung to her like a leech starved of the tastiest and the reddest blood. But as soon as the cameras’ flickers and the sounds of people chanting her name would stop, she would go back to her own house , a glass of martini on hand and often times, cried herself to sleep, wondering what had happened to her.
“Miss Catherine, your limousine is waiting for you.”
Cate let out a sigh. It had become a routine. Make yourself charming and board your limousine so you may go to people’s homes and let them gawk at you. She dusted her own gown with her hands before she examined her face once more and with a forced smile, she was ready. The hollywood star trudged to the exit of her thousand-dollar hotel room where she was met by the view of hundreds of people waiting for her outside. She had to give them a smile, she had to and so she did. Cameras started to flicker like dotted spotlights pricking her eyes, but she was used to it. The people were calling her name, but was she really Catherine? The others started chanting names of her box-office roles and she felt so abused, like she didn’t own her individuality anymore. But before things could go worse, she finally took a step inside her limousine and once the door closed, she breathed. She felt so much like a fish above water and no matter how badly she wanted to die, she could not.
Once she settled into the seat, and the driver drove away, she looked back. Behind her was a crowd of strangers chanting her name, and she wondered if out of those hundreds, was there an ounce of possibility that she was there? That she was waiting for her? She didn’t know and for sure, she wouldn’t.
“Miss, congratulations. You really deserved it.”
Congratulations never sounded sweet and dreamy. Rather, it tasted so much like poison. But despite the bitterness of it, she became acquianted to the taste and in every congratulations, she would smile making it look like a dream.
“Oh, thank you.” She smiled at the driver in front, “Thank you so much.”
And on her seat, she wondered, would she congratulate her too? Maybe yes, but she was also a hundred percent sure that she would not. Why would she when she existed as an epitome of heartbreak? She shredded her sanity so calmly. As if blinding the odds and reverse what her crumpled letters wail about. She didn’t write about her like a scared kid, instead she chanted love songs to sleep, but love songs turned to sorries and regrets. And now, she hid into the depth of her sorrows and saw art in her that she couldn’t even fathom. Cate knew that the golden vows she whispered to her, vows of love that were lost now, still meant something, at least even once when she spoked those to her. But those lovely phrases – she buried them like regrets and somehow believed that it’s not that tragic.
“Miss?”
She was taken aback and was pulled out of her reveries when the driver called her, “Yes?”
“We are here.”
And just like that, Cate met the view of her dream. She should be happy seeing the lights illuminating around and the red-carpeted floor waiting to be stomped on, but deep down, she couldn’t. The place was full of paparazzis and the press. On the other side were her fans, shouting her name in pride like it was an anthem. Cate gathered herself and when her driver opened the limousine’s door, the cameras started to attack her like hungry predators. The cameras flashed – so abrupt and so blinding, but that was what she liked and so she faked a smile. When her foot landed on the ground, she waved her hand and flaunted a beauty queen smile. The crowd went wild and thousands of cameras flashed upon her.
Could she call that a success?
She started to grace the carpet and each step was a torture and a pleasure at the same time. When she reached the end, a strong hand landed on the small of her back and an itchy kiss landed on her cheek. Kisses should be soft, so why weren’t his? A pair of green eyes beamed at her and Cate knew what to do: she smiled sweetly and kissed him too.
“Congratulations!” The man in well-pressed suit chimed, caressing the small of her back before he slowly lowered it down on her butt.
The touch was filthy, but she was trained to welcome it as if it was a heavenly kiss. The crowd behind them shouted in joy, eager to see him and her interacting more.
“Shouldn’t we be giving them a show?”
“What do you –”
She was not able to finish her statement when he, without any warning, kissed her as if she was his. And in that moment, Cate knew that her success was not a success.
***
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