“Cate! Cate, will you stop?” Sandra complained as she tried to chase the blonde who was walking out of the resto, “Oh my goodness, she’s deaf.” The brunette mumbled loudly, “Cate, stop!” She spoke once again before eventually stopping as she successfully held the blonde’s arm, stopping her from going into the elevator, “What are fuck are you doing?” She asked, her voice could almost pass as a whisper.
“What am I doing?” Cate let out a taunting scoff before she withdrew her arm from the brunette’s hold, “Running away from you. Isn’t it obvious?”
“You know what? You’re being so childish.” Sandra countered, crossing her arms against her chest, “Didn’t you know it’s rude to walk out of your date?”
“Well, if you just realized that your date is your ex, who by the way, hates you so much and doesn’t want to be bothered anymore,..” The blonde shook her head lightly, “…then it’s not rude.”
“I just –”
“Stop, okay?” The blonde cut her off, “We matched on Tinder and I’m so sorry for that. I know you wanted me to not bother you anymore, but I didn’t know you’re SandOnTheBeach, okay? So yeah, apologies for matching with you and apologies for coming here, apologies for -” Her rambling was cut off when Sandra shushed her off by putting a finger against her lips.
“You rented the whole resto.” The brunette exclaimed calmly, her finger still on the blonde’s lips, “Right? And you and I, we both didn’t know that it’s us on Tinder…” She then withdrew her finger as she looked at her seriously, “So please, I don’t want you to waste money just because I am your date.”
“What do you want us to do?” Cate asked as she left out another scoff, “Continue with the date? Are you out of your mind? Because I still remember the last time you told me, you literally said you don’t –”
“Will you stop your rambling?” Sandra cut her off, her voice came out so stern, obviously irritated by the blonde’s rambling.
And successfully, it worked. The blonde heaved a sigh before she looked at the brunette. The apologies were forming underneath her facade because really, she did not know. If only she knew that her date was her ex, then she would not have asked for another one, because when Sandra had asked her to not bother her anymore, she had finally accepted that what they had was really over. The two women stood mere inches across from each other. No words. No movement. Just the two of them statued on the floor, tongues twisted as the awkwardness filled the air.
“So…” It was Cate who cut the tension off as she looked at her seriously, “What now?”
“I guess we have to go back there and eat?” The brunette replied, her eyes looking at anywhere but Cate’s, “…I don’t want your money to get wasted for nothing.”
“Okay.”
The brunette nodded, “Okay.”
Cate felt the lump in her throat, her lips had gone dry and she felt kinda nervous as she obviously did not know what else to say, “So…” She licked her lower lip, “…go on.”
“Go on to what?”
“God, Annette. Walk back.” She replied, eventually rolling her eyes over her ex-girlfriend who stood there looking so irritated.
“No! Let’s walk back together. I don’t want to look like a fucking idiot who chased you here and then walk back there first. So, Catie…” She grabbed her hand as she started to walk back, “…walk with me…”
With that touch – with Sandra’s palm coming in contact with the blonde’s wrist, Cate’s pulse went crazy, as if her blood fizzled with hot oil. The blonde breathed. It will be over in just a few hours, she thought, but as their heels hit the floor in synch, Cate had silently wished that the night would go on forever.
—–
Cate took a slice of her steak before throwing the brunette a question, “So why did you ditch me?”
“I…” The brunette took a napkin and wiped her lips before sucking a breath, “I bumped into a friend.”
“Who?”
“Not someone you know.” Sandra replied, but of course, the brunette had an inkling that Rosamund and Cate knows each other, “So you’re into Tinder now huh?” She looked at her with a smile, her voice transitioned into something light.
Cate shook her head, and smiled, “Yeah.” The blonde then laughed at herself before she looked back at the brunette, “You’re in Tinder too.”
“Who would have thought, right?”
It took a few seconds before Cate smiled, “Yeah.”
Her word fumbled under her tongue. Who would have thought that they would venture into different worlds now? Cate did not. She did not actually think they would go back to being strangers. And although the urge to vomit those words was strong, she settled with a smile and a short yeah.
“You know this isn’t too bad.”
“What?”
The brunette looked around. Implying the fact that they were inside a very magical place. She then took her glass of chardonay and took a sip from it before she leaned against the table. Cate gulped as Sandra did, because hello? Her cleavage was screaming at her.
“Us here. Tonight. This place. This date.” Sandra answered, “This isn’t too bad after all.”
“I’m sorry for walking out on you earlier. I just did not want to you know…” The blonde leaned on her seat before crossing her arms, “…didn’t want to bother you anymore. You made it clear to me how much you want us to move on, how much you want me to not bother you.” She paused before her gaze fell into her nails, “And I intend to do that.”
“I’m sorry.”
Cate shook her head, “No, you’re not the one who needs to apologize here. It’s me. I fucked up. I hurt you. In our whole relationship, you were just too kind to accept all the shits I gave you.” She sighed and Sandra could tell how much tears dwelled inside the blonde’s eyes, “I just want you to know that I’ll forever be repenting for what I did. And I’ll forever be blaming myself for letting you go out of my hold. You’re a gem, you know.”
“Cate…”
“I love you.” The blonde smiled at her sadly, her lips went into a frozen line as if she was telling her that she had already accepted their demise, “I love you so much, Sandra. Still.”
“Cate, please…” The brunette reached out for the blonde’s hand on the table, hoping that she could stop her from talking, “We’re do –”
“We’re done. I know. But that won’t stop me loving you.”
“You’re just hurting yourself.”
“Didn’t Jesus hurt himself too for loving?”
“You’re not Him.”
“I know.” Cate took a sip from her glass before she looked at the brunette, “I’m Cate, your ex, but that title could not stop me from loving you, Annette.”
“Please.” Sandra sighed, “Where is this conversation going?”
“I’m not asking you to love me back.”
“I know and I won’t too.”
Cate laughed, “Ouch.”
“You’re being too annoying right now, you know.”
“You used to love it.”
“Used to.” Sandra countered before she stood up from her seat, “Thanks for the date. Goodnight.”
“No, wait!” The blonde held her hand, “We’re not do –”
“I’m done.” And with that, Sandra took her way out, leaving Cate on the table, alone.
As the brunette faded from the blonde’s sight, Cate fell back on the chair. She wanted to cry as she felt the loneliness creeping up on her like veins. How could she unlove her when her own body still had a million traces of her? Cate could cut her out of the polaroids that she had pasted on her bedroom wall, but she could never ever cut her out of her life.
“Well…” Cate mumbled to herself before fishing out her phone; she was about to text the staff of the resto to cancel what she had prepared, but it was already late for the night skies lighted up in colors.
It was 10 PM. Alone on her table, Cate watched as the skies lighted up out of fireworks in different hues. The skies looked like pastel-colored sheets and she had silently wished her date was there to witness it because she prepared it for her. After the last bang of firework exploded, Cate started walking out and when she did, the sky exploded for one last time with the words: Thank you, SandOnTheBeach. I’m feeling alone, but not tonight. Cate went into the elevator knowing her night ended tragic. What she didn’t know was that, Sandra was still in the parking lot and she had witnessed the fireworks display that she had prepared.
***
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