Love does not begin and end the way we seem to think it does. Love is a battle, love is a war; love is growing up.
-J
Savage.
“Are you okay?” The first words Matty had spoken, asking if I was okay, Blue and I were ignorant of our own pain seeing him like this, it hurt even more than rejection to see Matty cry, I never wanted that for him. “I’m fine.” I reply but I could tell he didn’t believe me, I didn’t believe me. “It’s okay not to be okay, I’m here for you Savey, and I’m not letting you go through this alone.” He comforted wrapping his arms around me, it was more of him trying to wrap his arms around me and failing.
“I don’t know how I feel, my mate was my cousin whom I actually despise with my whole being, he’s pregnant with his chosen mate’s child, I rejected him because everything in me screamed to just let him go, he had made his choice and I was just a tether he didn’t need, a stain to his perfect life, so I let him go.” I expressed as Matty wiped away a stray tear from my cheek. “I didn’t expect all of that, and I can’t say I know how you feel because I don’t, what I do know is that, we can get through this.” He replied moving to squeeze a little tighter around my torso.
“I’m gonna be okay, as long as you’re here.” I confessed my truth, as long as he was there everything was going to be okay, I could move on from what had just happened and the pain that was pulsing inside me. “Then I’m never letting go, for as long as you need me, I did promise you when I was four that I’d always be there, till we both grow old and grey, we actually signed it in crayon.” He remarked just as a chuckle escaped my lips.
“I remember that contract.” I countered making him laugh. “Right, so you’re stuck with me, you and Blue, until the bitter end.” I didn’t object to that, I couldn’t, the only reason why I don’t feel as much pain was because I had him, right there, he came when I needed him and he wouldn’t leave. “Come on, you need to eat, we’ve been out here almost all morning and now afternoon.” He exclaimed tossing a pair of shorts at me, then unwrapping a small sheet, after that he laid out the food he’d brought.
Food always made everything better, dad always fed us when we didn’t feel great, he always had a selection of food for select moods, meat was for when we felt shitty and exhausted, something sweet came when there were tears, and the sour or hot came when we were angry, he always said the burn took the fight out of us, Matty had packed sweet pudding and a whole lot of meat, I didn’t know how I felt but I knew the two choices were great.
“Papa and dad are worried about you, but they said you needed space, I for one am not going to abide to that, ever.” He mused whilst shoving more meat down my throat. “I know you wouldn’t, and if dad saw me like this he’d probably burn down the Cold Lake pack, never hurt Aries Heathen’s kids, everyone knows that, I wonder what he’ll do.” I surmised as Matty burst out laughing. “Papa will restrain him, hopefully, you can never be sure with Papa he might just buy the fuel for dad to use.” He replied and we both were laughing, these were the moments I appreciated with Matty, he always made me feel better about anything.
“Whatever he does, it’s not our shit to handle, never get in the way of those two, we’ve seen first hand what they can do, what I need to worry about is you, now eat some more.” My brother, the one my wolf loved more than anything else conceded, though with that came sweet pudding going down my throat. “When we get home, we’re having a movie marathon in bed, we can even snuggle, just promise you won’t kill my laptop with your bare hands again.” He asserted with a whine, though the ridiculous accusation had me baffled.
“That is an outrageous exaggeration.” I argued making him scoff. “Meaning it’s largely true, Savage.” He replied with a proud smirk that I wanted to wipe off his face, so what I had gotten hard with his leg curled around mine, I was trying to control myself and I might have crushed the laptop, but he didn’t need to know the whole truth of the matter, only my argument against it. “Wipe that grin off your face or I’m confiscating Teddy Blue.” My threat was successful, papa had bought the large stuffed wolf for Matty because he missed Blue.
The days I had been training as Alpha dad had some grueling activities which had me growing physically like he did, we would go for almost a week or more away from home, so when Papa heard that Matty wasn’t his chirpy self because he missed my wolf and I, a replacement was made, he’s been attached to the animal since then, but the real thing comes first. >Damn right.<
Even my wolf agreed that he was loved most than the stuffed animal. “You wouldn’t dare.” He defended narrowing his eyes at me, he wanted to be scary but even the strongest wolf I know thought it was cute, he looked like a baby care bear with flushed cheeks along with a whole load of cute and cuddly. “Try me hermosa.” I retorted and he huffed, the silent treatment lasted ten minutes at best and today it lasted three. “But why would you take teddy Blue from me, he’s mine and you’re being mean.” He whined and I chuckled lunging for him.
Once I was on top of him, his laughter filled the area, I tickled him till he was wheezing and laughing. “Are you still mad at me?” I questioned with a smile whilst hovering above him, mere inches from his rosy red lips, I don’t know why I wanted to taste them so badly, I’ve always prided myself in waiting for my mate but even then, Matty has always had a hold over me, I could roll over and sit if he wanted, just because it was him.
He tucked away my slightly longer hair, his blue and gray eyes looking into mine as if he could see my soul and all the secrets I held. “I could never stay mad at you, you could kill a thousand men and I would never be mad or ever not love you.” He replied with a sincerity I always knew he had, he was too good for this world, and that’s why my family strived to protect him from it, love him for it as well. “I know Matty.” I mumbled my response placing a kiss on his forehead which lingered for longer than it should’ve.
“I’m glad you’re feeling better.” He whispered as I moved to lay beside him, he laid his head on my chest with a comfortable stance no one else except him and my family found. “All because I have the best person in the world who could put a smile on anyone’s face.” My response made him giggle, it was adorable, we watched the clouds move in the sky, spotting ones that were similar to things we knew, and bit by bit rejection never felt so relieving, I could finally touch him, smell him without thinking I was betraying anyone, I could finally just have eyes for him, even from a distance.
“Wanna swim before we go home?” I inquired already halfway removing his pants. “Hey, respect this temple.” He warned gesturing to his body after I yanked the t-shirt off him. “A temple, what if I wanted to worship, would you let me in?” I growled in his ear and I could hear his helpless struggle not to moan. “Depends.” He replied before taking off for edge of the water and diving in, I was shocked. “That little, come back here Matty!” I yelled diving into the water myself, his laughter was music all around me whilst I chased him.
“You’ll catch me, no!” He replied swimming away but I cornered him. “Got you.” I announced when I cornered him, he splashed the water in my face and slipped away, that’s how we spent our afternoon, chasing each other in the water, I could always count on Matty and my family to be there for me, to love me, rejection might’ve hurt, but having this moment and many more with Matty may have been worth the rejection I had done, I was no longer worried about anything except one thing, if our parents knew about what happened, what hell would Aries and Alvares Heathen unleash.
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Cute moments I’m in love with.
LMJ
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