Hanni POV
It’s been a couple of weeks since the whole boat ride adventure, and you believed your and Y/N’s relationship had begun feeling stronger again, feeling like the broken pieces of our relationship slowly forming back into the once healthy relationship you had.
That last date we had reminded you of the old times when you were carefree and could express your love for him daily.
That date confirmed that Y/N still cared for you, as you prayed he still loved you. You know you have been causing Y/N so many problems, and it must be difficult for him to have a girlfriend like you.
But despite being one of the worst girlfriends in the world, Y/N still loves you and treats you like his little angel, as he always did.
You honestly didn’t deserve a guy like Y/N…
Y/N was a loving and caring boyfriend, but you were always absent from your guy’s love life due to the hectic amount of work. Even to this day, after our last date, you were too busy to go on another one.
Once again you had to cancel dates, which was honestly so heartbreaking for you. Each date would be either planned and then something came up or you forgot about your schedule and wouldn’t be able to make it.
It hurts… Always be the person that was ruining our once strong relationship. Y/N would always try his best to make room in his schedule for you but you couldn’t do the same… Although you tried to text and call him as much as possible, you were slammed with work.
Although you were living your dream as a successful K-Pop idol, all the success had come with a hectic and busy schedule. Most of your days were filled with rehearsals, interviews, photoshoots, and fan meetings, leaving little time for yourself.
You worked every day from Monday through Sunday, not having any time off. This gets even worse during promotions when your schedule becomes ten times busier than before.
NewJeans had just released a new single, and your schedule was particularly packed. You woke up early to attend a morning radio show interview, followed by a quick photoshoot for a magazine. Afterward, you rush to the dance studio for a six-hour dance practice session to be ready to perform it on shows like MNet and KBS.
Even after the practice, you had to go straight to your following schedule, a fan meeting event where you would meet and greet your fans.
Although you loved your fans and you were blessed with the amount of fame you had obtained, it took a lot of energy out of you. In order to even look alive and not dead from the amount of work you had, you often sleep in the car, trying to take power naps to help recharge your battery.
As an Idol, you had to be perfect all the time, and even if you were being overworked, it was your job not to show it. Although it might be seen as inhumane, it was what was expected of you. You couldn’t be sleepy, and you couldn’t be tired. All you could do was smile.
Smile through the pain…
Smile through the loneliness…
Smile through the exhaustion…
All you could do was smile…
After the fan sign, you head home to your apartment, and just walking into your room was enough to put you in a steeply state, already becoming drowsy before hitting the bed. As soon as you lay on your bed, you felt a wave of exhaustion overcome your body…
You usually call Y/N by this time and would talk about your guys’ day. But you were too exhausted even to call him. You wanted to call him, but you also wanted to rest as much as you could…
Recently… You haven’t been looking forward to our daily night time calls… It’s just that every time we call, it was one of those things that prolonged your sleep. You needed to rest, but if you called him, you would spend time away from your slumber…
Sometimes you even regret calling him or picking up his calls…
It’s sad… Before Y/N would be on your mind 24/7 and he being happy was always priority for you. You would always want to talk to him, wanting to spend every free moment together. But now…
All you wanted to do was to sleep… Rest away so you can work the next day… It was sad… You hoped you didn’t start to lose feelings for Y/N…
Sure… We had our cute moments together… But the love you once felt… The love that was so strong and unbreakable… You felt it slowly cracking, your feelings slipping further away from him… You felt like you didn’t care for him as much anymore…
You knew that you were the problem… Y/N has been the best person you could ever ask for but you on the other hand… You were like a burden…
You don’t want to lose Y/N… It’s selfish… But you still wanted him to be by your side, even though you were never by his…
But if you wanted to continue being an idol, sometimes you would have to sacrifice things…
You loved being an idol, and you were grateful for your success. However, you knew you needed to balance your work and personal life to avoid burnout.
And today, you chose your work over your personal life…
As you collapse on your bed, you drift off to sleep in a deep slumber.
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Y/N POV
You waited a long time to receive your usual night call from Hanni. You knew she was busy today and probably exhausted from work, but still…
Throughout our dating years, you two would always call each other every night as it was the only way for us to talk to each other.
You sat in your apartment, staring at your phone.
You knew being an idol was demanding and was probably very taxing on her, but he couldn’t help feeling left out.
She has constantly been growing, and even though you two had a great last date, she still feels like she is drifting away from you.
You tried to distract yourself by watching TV, but your mind drifted back to Hanni. You wondered if she was okay… if she was working too hard…
Y/N: “Poor baby…” you mutter to yourself. You look at your home screen on your phone, and you see a picture of Hanni kissing you on the cheek.
With Hanni’s long dark hair, and her contagious smile, her hands were wrapped around your hips and her lips planted on your cheek, with you smiling like an absolute goofball. It was one of your favorite pictures even.
It was a picture you always cherished, and it reminded you how much she loved you. You put your phone down and browse the TV.
You are watching some K-Dramas in the meantime, trying to use this to pass the time. Although you love watching K-Dramas, they also make you feel a bit lonely as you wish you could experience those cute moments in the show with your girlfriend.
After feeling slightly jealous of a fictional relationship, you head over to your room and continue to write music. Writing music has always been your hobby, and apparently, there is a song production challenge at the college you attend, where the top song will be sent to companies worldwide.
Your dream was to become a producer, and you wanted to use this chance to achieve your dream finally. You also wished to become a producer to be a little closer to Hanni.
If you were a producer, you would have an excuse to be around Hanni without suspicion. It would be great, and you thought it was a great way to fix our relationship.
*Ring Ring*
After what seemed like forever, your phone buzzed.
As hope filled your body, you checked your notification, hoping to see a message from Hanni, but instead, it was just a notification from a game on your phone.
With a disappointed feeling, you set your phone aside and sighed.
Y/N: “I miss you,” you mutter out
You knew that you shouldn’t be so needy and that Hanni had her own life and responsibilities. But it was hard not to feel a little hurt when she didn’t make time for you. You wanted to give her some space and try to be understanding…
But still…
You miss Hanni… You missed your precious little angel… You missed your girlfriend…
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Not too sad but hope you can see where I’m going with thisðŸ‘ï¸ðŸ‘„ðŸ‘ï¸ I want to write like a big fight scene between the two of them but don’t know what to write about. So if you have any suggestions please send them my way. I would really appreciate it. Anyway have a nice day
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