Xie Lian’s breath catches with a sound that is half way to being a sob. He reaches out, fingers shaking until their tips brushed against the hard shell of Hua Cheng’s mask. The breath he doesn’t need catches in Hua Cheng’s throat at the touch.
“Wu Ming…” Xie Lian whispers the name like it was a prayer, his eyes closing briefly then snapping open again as though he thinks Hua Cheng will disappear if he takes his eyes off of him. “You’ve been here, by my side, all this time…”
“I’m sorry…” Hua Cheng says it weak. “I didn’t know if I’d be welcome… I didn’t know…”
‘I didn’t know that you remembered me.’
‘I didn’t know that you’d want to remember me.’
‘I didn’t know that you…’
‘That you…’
“Wu Ming, San Lang I…”
Xie Lian’s breath hitches in something that might be a sob, and then his finger tips are tracing gently down to rest against the bottom edge of Hua Cheng’s mask.
“May I?”
For a foolish moment Hua Cheng hesitates, foolish because hasn’t his highness been looking at his true face for months now? Hasn’t he seen it over and over again and never flinched away?
Nothing has changed.
Everything has changed.
Hua Cheng takes a breath. He doesn’t need it but it helps to calm his nerves slightly. Then he nods.
Slowly, his fingers still shaking, Xie Lian lifts the mask upward until slipped off over Hua Cheng’s head. There’s a clatter as it falls from Xie Lian’s fingers to the floor but Hua Chang barely hears it, all his attention fixed on his god who stares right back at him.
For a long moment they just sit like that, looking at each other. Silent tears run down Xie Lian’s cheeks and he is so beautiful and so perfect and he has always been so out of reach, so far above Hua Cheng that, though he heard Xie Lian’s words, heard him call Wu Ming his ‘beloved’ even now he still can’t quite manage to believe it, believe that this is real, that Xie Lian wanted… Wants…
It’s Xie Lian who moves first. He raises his hand again, but this time, with the mask gone, his trembling fingertips brush across Hua Cheng’s cheek. A shudder goes through him at the touch.
“You’re real?” Xie Lian voice quivers as he asks the question.
“I’m real.” Hua Cheng inclines his head, his eye still fixed on Xie Lian.
Then he is at last moving, throwing himself at Hua Cheng, arms wrapping around his neck with a muffled sob. Hua Cheng stiffens for a moment in shock and then his instincts catch up with the moment and he quickly wraps his arms around his god, pulling him close, holding him tightly, and swearing to himself, that he will never let go.
“Beloved.” Hua Cheng murmurs the word wonderingly, still unable to fully take in the fact that this is real.
Xie Lian’s breath catches the word.
“Did you mean it?” Xie Lian looks up at him and he’s so close now that Hua Cheng can feel breath against his lips.
“Every word.” Hua Cheng tells him, and then because he knows he’ll never truly believe it until he hears Xie Lian say it, “Did you? Did you really want me?”
“Always.” Xie Lian breaths the word onto his lips and then he’s closing the final gap between them, his mouth finding Hua Cheng’s in a kiss 800 years in the making.
The kiss tastes of the sweetness of Xie Lian’s lips and of salt from the tears continuing to pour silently down his cheeks. Hua Cheng tightens his arms around Xie Lian, crushing his god against his chest, and kiss him back, fierce and desperate with all the emotions swirling within him. It isn’t a gentle kiss, not anymore, and part of Hua Cheng expects it to be too much, expects Xie Lian to freeze or pull away, but he doesn’t, by some miracle he doesn’t. His just clings to Hua Cheng, one hand clutching the back of his robes, the other tangling in the ghosts hair, holding on as the world will end if he lets go.
Maybe it will.
At last Xie Lian breaks the kiss, not pulling away, just pull back enough to pant for breath. His cheeks are bright pink and his lips are slightly swollen from the force of Hua Cheng’s kisses and he is so fucking beautiful.
“Your highness…” The title leaves Hua Cheng’s lips like it’s a prayer.
“Wu Ming…” Xie Lian breaths the name as though he still can’t believe it either. “My Wu Ming…”
A shudder runs through Hua Cheng’s whole body at those words, heat pooling low at his stomach.
“Yours, always yours.”
Xie Lian’s breath catches sharply at those words, and it’s too much for Hua Cheng. He can’t help it. He leans in again, capturing Xie Lian’s lips, possessing them just as Xie Lian’s words have possessed him, marking him as Xie Lian’s and Xie Lian’s alone, and he is, he always has been. So he kisses his god, kisses him and kisses him, until he draws a soft needy sound from Xie Lian’s lips that makes his blood boil.
One hand lowers to rest against Xie Lian’s hip. The other one comes up to possessively cup the side of his god’s neck. His teeth brush against Xie Lian’s lower lip then close around it, biting down and sucking lightly against it. A soft moan leaves Xie Lian’s lips and fuck but it’s the best sound Hua Cheng’s ever heard and he’s suddenly ravenous to hear more.
He pulls Xie Lian closer, closer, until he falls into his lap, their lips parting with a soft sound and he is once again faced with glorious sight of his god’s wide eyes and flushed cheeks. Xie Lian’s lips look even more kiss swollen than before and oh it is a glorious sight.
He wants to go back to kissing him, just kiss him and kiss him and never let him go, but there’s a question burning at the back of his mind, one that refuses to leave him in peace.
“Did you mean it?” He asks the question again and Xie Lian blinks up at him in a kiss muddled confusion which sends a smug heat coursing through Hua Cheng’s blood.
“Mean what?”
“Did you really mean what you said when you called Wu Ming, called me, your beloved?”
Xie Lian’s blush darkens farther, extending up to his ears and down beneath the bandages on his throat.
“I… That’s-” Xie Lian’s eyes flicked down to Hua Cheng’s lips. “Haven’t I been clear enough?”
Again Hua Cheng is tempted to forget the conversation and just kiss him again, but again he holds himself back, needing an answer, needing to know, needing…
The rawness is back in his voice as he finally asked the question. “What if I was still Wu Ming when we met again? If you knew who I was would you have let me back into your life?”
The question is greedy and unfair and he knows it. If the answer is no he doesn’t want Xie Lian to feel guilty about it and if the answer is no it won’t make him want his god any less. He simply needs to ask because, because…
“Ah…” Xie Lian’s eyes widen and then his expression softens and he slides his hand from Hua Cheng’s hair to cup the ghost’s cheek. His touch is gentle, oh so gentle, as though Hua Cheng is something precious, something to be treasured, and it enraptures and confuses him all at once. Hua Cheng has been many things, feared, hated, worshiped, exalted, but he has never been precious and he has never been treasured.
“Of course I would have wanted you. I would always have wanted you. I have spent every day of the last 800 years grieving for you. To have you back again, to make things up to you… I would have done almost anything.”
“Your Highness…” The title leaves Hua Cheng’s lips weakly. It’s the only thing he can manage to get out. He feels as though all the air has been punched from his lungs and it doesn’t matter that he no longer needs air or lungs in order to speak, the feeling is the same.
Xie Lian runs his thumb gently over Hua Cheng’s cheek.
“I think I know what you’re really asking and the answer is yes. You’ve always been enough. I know… I know I was horrible to you back then and made you feel like you weren’t but you were, you always were. Wu Ming, San Lang, Hua Cheng, it doesn’t matter to me. What matters is that it’s you.”
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