The Last Time I Saw Your Stars Shine let go

Repeatedly he knocked the door to san’s room but no answer. wooyoung was desperate to find san, he couldn’t just give up so easily. soon realizing san is not inside his room, wooyoungs frustration grew bigger. knocking one last time he leans his head against the door his hand gave up as well slowly sliding down the wooden door.

“where could he be?” he asks himself trying to remember all the places they went to.

“its just hard when someone you love won’t try to understand your feelings.” thinking about what seonghwa said, wooyoung starts to blame himself. he felt selfish for leaving that night. yes, he was upset yet he didn’t even give san a chance to explain.

wooyoung felt his clothes getting wet, looking up a raindrop was landed on wooyoungs cheek. “san will probably come back soon since it starts to rain.” he convinced himself, waiting in the cold rain hoping san would return. an hour has passed and there was no sign of san. at this point wooyoung was drenched in the ice cold water, remembering the time where san and wooyoung went swimming in the cold lake in the forest. lost in his thoughts he didn’t notice someone standing in front of him. his eyelids felt to heavy he couldn’t look up, being left in the cold for so long, wooyoung probably caught a cold.

“wooyoung?” recognizing the voice which belonged to san, wooyoung felt his eyelids only getting heavier and heavier. everywhere wooyoung looked at was blurry even tho he tried to fight it since he badly wanted to talk to san. trying to keep his eyes open, he feels san’s hand run up his arm but after that the only thing wooyoung saw was black.

waking up wooyoung looks around the room identifying it as san’s yet he was the only one in it. wooyoung felt cold and his headache wasn’t unnoticeable he groans holding his head due to it. “i met san last night.” wooyoung thought only wanting to see him again. standing up he sees a piece of paper on the table across the room.

meet me at the lake if you want to.

– san

seeing the sun shining outside wooyoung didn’t mind only going out in the sweater he was wearing going to where san wanted to meet him. walking thru the forest wooyoung now noticed how beautiful nit actually was. the last time he was there was at night so he wasn’t able to see the big trees. getting closer to the lake he noticed someone sitting right in front of it. the broad shoulders and tiny waist, wooyoung could immediately tell it was san. his heart only beats faster the closer he gets to the other male. sitting down beside him, wooyoung felt like he needed to talk since it was him waiting for san in front of his home last night.

“thank you for letting me sleep over last night.” he started off but san kept looking at the lake not giving any reaction which made wooyoung feel like he was talking to a wall. but he knew san had every right to be mad at him.

“i’m sorry.” wooyoung whispered audible enough for san to hear. “i’m sorry i reacted like that. i only thought about myself, i didn’t want to get hurt so i left leaving you hurting the most. the past days i’ve been blaming myself and I couldn’t stop thinking about you, san.”

both sat in silence for a while. wooyoung was hoping san would say something. anything. he can’t deal with being all by himself anymore when someone was clearly next to him.

“i couldn’t stop thinking about you either, woo.” silence again. san let out a sigh, trying to get himself to talk again. “and i forgive you.”

this made wooyoung give hope. hope that they could go back to how they were.

“but i don’t think we should be together.” the hope wooyoung just had has vanished in seconds. “we just shouldn’t. lets just forget everything and go back to how it used to be.”

“go back how we used to be? are you kidding me i dont want you to do drugs again.” wooyoung said, not wanting them to fully break apart.

“woo, its not that. its better for both of us.”

wooyoung can’t help his tears falling. he doesn’t want to believe what san is saying. they were happy, tho they didnt have much.

“isn’t it only the better for you?” his sadness slowly turned into anger. wooyoung laughed at himself, wiping the tears away while san only looked at him curiously. “i’m so pathetic for running around trying to fix this for what? for you to leave so easily.”

“wooyoung that’s not it.”

“san i have nothing. I’ve been sleeping on the streets do you know that. i can’t even count the things i’ve eaten since i probably haven’t.” san’s heart started to hurt hearing how wooyoung has been living.

“i dont have much either. there’s nothing good for me to provide to you.”

“at least you have something, san. and i never wanted more than just be with you.” wooyoungs eyes met san’s which now were filled with tears as well.

“wooyoung do you wanna know what I’ve been hiding from you?” san needed to tell him now. they wouldn’t be how they used to be either way. before he leaves the younger he at least needs to know the truth.

“the orphanage, your parents, the little boy, they are all related to me.” wooyoung now looked at him, trying to figure out what san said.

“what do you mean?”

“wooyoung its me. it was me all along.” his mind still in question.

“san i really don’t-“ wooyoung was really confused. it took him some time to process what san was talking. “please talk so I can understand.”

“your old friend, the little boy, its me wooyoung. I was the one who took care of you when you got cut. I was the one who held you close whenever there was a thunderstorm. I was the one who left without saying goodbye.” san looks at his lover who seems to be in big shock right now. it was time for wooyoung to know and if san wouldn’t have told him now would he have ever told him?

“w- what? is this what you’ve been hiding?” he looked wooyoung in the eyes for the last time and they were filled with tears. not something san was proud of nor be happy to see.

san only nodded. now that the truth was out it was time for san to leave before wooyoung asks him too much. standing up he tries to leave but wooyoung had too many questions in his mind. the younger held san by his wrist not wanting him to leave.

“w- wait you c- can’t leave me now.” wooyoung stuttered.

“wooyoung I’m the reason why you turned out like this and you’re the reason why I turned out like this as well. lets not see each other again.” san spoke with his back turned to the younger. he knows he couldn’t stand to see wooyoung in the eyes.

“did you love me?” wooyoung asks with a light voice.

“of course i do. i love you enough to let you go.” san forced out of himself, trying not to break down.

“then, are you sure about this?” he held the others boy hand tight.

no answer. san got out of wooyoungs grip, leaving the younger vulnerable boy inside the forest all alone without even looking back.