Falling | Mxm (Completed) Chapter 25

Edited✔️

Edwin was having a very busy and rough day, dealing with a new patient who had a very severe case. Then Lili was acting strange again and he was worried as fuck and to top all that, he had kissed Aiden last night.

He still didn’t know what got into him and what made him move closer and kiss the guy, something he had wanted to do for a while now, but he knew he had no idea how to confront Aiden again. He wasn’t sure if he could look the other in the eye anymore. He felt like he had ruined their little friendship or whatever it was they had between them. Plus, he was really confused. Why did Aiden lean in, in the first place? Why did he say he wanted to kiss him? Was it all because he had ‘gorgeous lips’? His head hurt from all the thoughts flowing around and he groaned, burying his head in his palms. Tonight was the last night of him staying there. He would take Vincent back to the hospital with him tomorrow morning, and that made him feel… bad? Cos he had fucking kissed the first person he kind of felt genuinely attracted to, and now it felt like it was going to be a mess. How would Aiden react tonight? He had no idea. He only knew despite everything, he really really wanted to kiss the guy again.

Asking Lili over and over again if anything was wrong, but getting no proper answer was making him insane. He knew something was up, but she just refused to talk. He had called Kurt to visit, and he came quickly, but even the man couldn’t get anything out of his sister.

‘Maybe I should ask Aiden to talk to her?’ The thought crossed his mind, but he shook his head to get rid of it. There was no way he could ask such a thing from the man right now.

So that was what led to his current situation, sitting on the couch of Aiden’s apartment, with a plate in his hand, not eating and just playing with the food while being deep in thought. He didn’t even understand what Vincent was saying.

“Edwin.”

“Edwin?!”

“Edwin!!!” Aiden had to call him three times in order for him to snap out of it.

“Hm? What? What is it?”

“What’s wrong?” Aiden asked while chewing.

“Nothing.” He sighed, playing with his food again.

“I know something’s up, so spill. Come on.” Aiden gestured with his hand.

“I told you, nothing.”

Aiden looked at him for a moment before he put his plate down and took his out of his hand as well.

“Vin, would you mind if we go to the room for a short while?” Aiden asked kindly, and Vin shook his head, smiling and turning back to the TV. The older grabbed Edwin’s wrist, making him stand up, and took him to the bedroom. He felt like a powerless kid when Aiden just led him to the bed, turned him around by the hold on his wrist, and pushed his shoulders down so he could sit on the edge of the bed and then sat next to him. He was still looking at the doctor and there was worry in his eyes.

“What’s going on? Is it Lili?”

“Partly yes… She’s…” Edwin sighed deeply. “She’s being really weird again. Just like the last time. I’m worried sick.”

“The last time?”

“She tried to kill herself once a long time ago and the behavioral pattern is the same again.”

It shocked Aiden to hear that. He kind of knew it had happened in the past, but still wasn’t sure. Well, now he was. The thought of Edwin having to deal with it broke his heart. The boy in front of him was a real mess right now. He seemed so sad and lost. He wanted to do something to make him feel better. Anything.

“Is there anything I can do? Maybe talk to her? Take her out? Anything?” He asked carefully, looking at the boy intently.

Edwin simply shrugged while looking down at his own fingers, pulling at the skin. “I don’t know. My brain can’t function right now.”

The singer’s heart literally skipped a beat when he saw how broken the blue-haired boy sounded. He cupped Edwin’s face with his hands, making him look at him.

“Hey, look at me. We’re gonna go to the hospital together and I’m gonna talk to her. Maybe she’ll tell me what’s wrong, okay? Please don’t be like this. I can’t take seeing you in this state.”

Something about what Aiden said and the way he said it made Edwin break into tears.

There was suddenly a waterfall on his cheeks. He tried to free his head from the other’s hand and look down or maybe hide in the bathroom and cry, but Aiden didn’t let him. Instead, he hugged his head to the crook of his neck, caressing his hair gently, talking soothing words in his ear while placing a kiss or two on his temple. Edwin cried for a while and once he was done, the singer had him wash his face and tucked him under the blankets, telling him to try to get some sleep.

He did as promised. They all went to the hospital in the doctor’s car, and Aiden went straight to Lili’s room.

After three knocks and a barely audible ‘Come in’ he entered the room. It was dark. All the curtains were closed and no lights were on. Lili was lying on the bed, not doing anything in particular.

“Hey, Lili.” He said while sitting on the edge of the bed.

“Hey, Den. I missed you.” Lili sat up and hugged him tightly.

Aiden returned the hug, rubbing her back gently. “I missed you too. Why is it so dark in here? Did you have a fight with the sun and now you’re angry at her?”

Lili laughed shortly before letting go and lying back down. Aiden lay down next to her, hugging her close and petting her hair.

“Your jokes are still awful. But yeah, I guess we did have a fight. I can’t stand any light right now. My eyes would hurt.”

Aiden looked down at her. “Your eyes? Have you seen an optometrist?”

“My eyes are okay. Technically. I just can’t stand light from time to time.” She replied while playing with the fabric of his shirt. “Did Edwin ask you to come?” She asked hesitantly.

“No. But he told me about your condition. He’s really worried, Lili. He cried for half an hour last night.” He said in a calm, low voice.

“I’m always sorry toward him. I stole away his dreams.” She sounded utterly sad.

“He loves you so much.” He placed a kiss on Lili’s head, smelling the nice perfume she always used. “So? Wanna tell me what’s going on in your head? What are you thinking about right now?”

A few seconds passed before Lili finally started talking. “I’m tired of being here… I mean, I’m safe here. Especially with having my brother around but… I miss Kurt and you and from what I see, Vincent is doing a great job since you’ve come here. He’ll leave soon and then there would be me. And with each day passing, I feel more and more horrible for doing this to Edwin. He only became a psychiatrist because of me. He wanted to know why I am the way I am and help me get well. I wish I could just become like everyone else so he could move on with his life, doing what he likes instead of walking these halls every day.” She sighed, clutching at his shirt harder. “He used to go to nature all the time or to the dance school. He was always out and now he’s living like a robot, all because of having a sister like me. I hate myself. I hate myself in general, but the first reason is because of doing this to him. I wish I wasn’t adopted by our parents.” Her body was trembling and Aiden checked to see if she was crying, but there were no tears. So he just hugged her closer and caressed her back and head.

“But you being like this, hating yourself and all, makes him feel worse. He feels like he’s useless when it comes to you.”

“I know… I don’t know what to do. I can’t even think of going back out there. People scare me. They are very violent and I hate them.” She snuggled her head deeper into Aiden’s chest.

“Is there anything I can do?” He whispered in her ear, feeling helpless.

“Take care of him for me, would you? He really likes you. And I kinda think you like him, too. Even if you don’t get close to him like that, would you be his friend and stay by his side?” Lili was looking at him with glossy, puppy eyes.

“I promise.” He placed another kiss on Lili’s forehead, making her put her head back on his chest. “But you have to do your part as well. You have to get better. My apartment has only one bedroom, but I can always buy another one in the building so you can live there close to me, maybe with Edwin by your side. Or we can just send you to Kurt in a present box and have the two of you walk toward the sun hand in hand.”

“I told you I don’t have a good relationship with that bitch.”

“Okay then, toward the moon. You okay with the moon?”

Lili nodded. “I love the moon.”

“Okay then, we’ll have you walk toward the moon hand in hand, living happily ever after.”

There was a silence before Lili broke it. “There is no happily ever after. Those stories just haven’t finished yet. Everything ends ugly.”

“Some don’t. What about those who live a full life and die happily knowing they’ve fulfilled their dreams? It’s rare, but there are still a few people like that.”

“You don’t get it. It’s ugly cos after everything someone has to go through, all that’s left in the end is just a sack of meat, bones and blood. There’s nothing more disgusting than a corpse. Just an empty shell that will rot in a few days. I feel sick even thinking about it and then I wanna throw up when I think of being trapped inside one myself. I don’t know who or what I am, but I know for sure I’m not this disgusting, needy body that just demands without giving anything back. So sure, it’s better if someone lives a happy life and dies a happy death but in the end, it’s all pointless and no one knows for sure what makes the body function in the first place or where that functioning system disappears to after the body dies. We are pathetic beings. Not knowing anything about our very own existence.”

Aiden could only listen and think about what she was saying. She always put so many questions in his head that he wasn’t sure he wanted to think about cos they were confusing and depressing as hell. Not knowing where you come from and where you’ll go to? Sure as fuck one of the things he never ever wanted to think about cos there was no answer to it. And what was the point, even? Maybe he would find out everything after he dies, but he didn’t want to say that to Lili cos he was afraid it would encourage the girl to end her life and he did not want that. Not for her. Not for Edwin.

After talking for a long time, Lili fell asleep. He looked at his watch and realized he had to go in about 30 minutes. So he slowly let go of the girl and left her room. First, he went to his old room, seeing Vin playing with his phone and some new dude lying on the other bed that used to be Kurt’s. He didn’t pay attention to the guy and sat beside Vin.

“Vincent, how did you like the past week?” He asked kindly.

“I loved it! Thank you so much.”

“Do you know how much my agency loved the song you made while being with me in the studio? They want to master it even.”

“For real?!” Vincent jumped on the bed.

“Yeah! Don’t you think it’s time to come back? You can live with me. Or I can get you a place.”

Vincent laughed shortly. “I can afford a place myself, Denny, thank you. But… I don’t know. Honestly, I’ve been thinking about it myself. Let me sleep on it some more, okay?”

Aiden nodded, squeezing Vin’s hand in his, giving him a reassuring smile.

“Edwin, can I come in?”

“Sure, how did it go?”

“Basically, she’s feeling guilty for holding you back in here. Saying she’s the reason you’re not going after your dreams, which I’m gonna ask about later, but for now, her top concern is you and she’s having a fight with the sun, and she hates the needy human body and…” Aiden rubbed his chin. “I think I’ve mentioned it all.” He smiled and closed the distance between them, taking Edwin’s hands in his and looking into his eyes. The boy just stood there looking at him as well, without a single word.

“Listen, starting from exactly 45 minutes from now, I’m gonna be super busy. I’ll be recording stuff and practicing the dance and everything else and then when the album releases, I’m gonna be promoting it nonstop for about 2 months. I’ll have little to no time to visit, but you can visit me if you ever felt like it, okay? Also, call me if anything happened. No, just call me whenever you want. I’ll pick up if I’m able to. If not, leave a message and I’ll call you when I can. I’m sorry I can’t stay longer or be there for you and Lili and Vin in this situation.” He rubbed the back of Edwin’s hands with his thumbs.

The doctor was just looking at him in awe. He blinked a couple of times and nodded hesitantly while swallowing. He looked super cute like that, and Aiden’s heart was melting. But why? Sure Edwin was beyond beautiful. He was a mixture of beautiful, sexy, and cute, but he was still in love with the only person he ever dated. What was this feeling of adoration that he was feeling for Edwin? He couldn’t pinpoint it. With one last squeeze of the hand and then ruffling the blue hair, he said goodbye, leaving the tall boy speechless in his office.