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“What do you mean Ian is his ex?! Then why did you all ask Joe if he was really back?” A dumbfounded Edwin asked.
“He and Aiden had a major fight and he… well, he kinda went out of the country for a while to be away from it all.” Finn answered him.
Edwin groaned. “And here I was feeling like shit for sleeping with him while his ex was back.”
Finn chuckled and poked his cheek. “Hey! Cheer up! The problem right now is not the sex, but the feelings. From what I saw earlier, he’s a complete mess. Go home for now. I’ll tell you when he’s doing better and then I think you two should have a talk.”
It had been three days since Edwin last saw Aiden, and it was when he had rushed out of the apartment. Finn had told him he’d call when the singer was feeling better, but he still had no news whatsoever and he was starting to get worried. Without much hesitation, he called Brad.
“Hello?”
“Hey, it’s me. Do you have any news on Aiden?”
“Ah… He’s at home, but he told us to leave him be.”
“Oh… I see… Well, how is Ian? Is he okay?”
“Yeah, he’s up, and he’s back to work. Nothing to worry about.”
“But… why did he faint then?”
“He just overworked himself and his body is not in the best shape right now, so it just gave up for a bit.”
“Good then.”
“Edwin?”
“Yes?”
“Could you go check on Aiden? He won’t let us in, but maybe he’ll talk to you?”
Edwin was hesitant to answer. He didn’t want to go where he wasn’t welcome. However, he knew Aiden was sensitive when it came to his ex and right now he began to worry about his unhealthy habits, like drugs for example.
“I’m gonna leave right away.”
After two times of entering the passcode and getting rejected, Edwin figured Aiden had changed it. Now he had only one more try, and he started thinking about what the new passcode could be. That was when he remembered Aiden’s lock on his phone. He had told him the password once when he threw him his phone from afar without unlocking it. The password had been so stupidly easy and obvious that Edwin had wondered why the older even bothered with a lock in the first place.
‘Because it’s so obvious that no one ever tries it.’
Recalling that, he hesitantly entered four zeros and pressed ok, hoping the door would actually open, and it did. He sighed in relief and walked inside. The place was quiet, so quiet he thought Aiden must’ve been out. He quietly walked to the bedroom. Taking a quick glance and seeing no one, he came out and opened the door to the other room, the one Aiden called a studio.
There he was, the blond singer, with a face paler than ever, curled up in the comfortable chair in the corner of the room, hugging a bunny plushie. Edwin walked closer and saw the many bottles on the ground next to the chair. He turned the light on and Aiden immediately hid his face with the plushie, mumbling something and curling up some more. Edwin frowned and pressed his lips together. He didn’t know the other’s alcohol tolerance, but the amount of empty bottles would be enough to kill even the strongest ones. Turning off the light and crouching down, he slowly moved the plushie away from the other’s face. He seemed to be asleep, but his face was so sad, so unlike the peaceful expression he had seen before. Shaking his shoulder gently and calling his name, he was met with a whimper again.
“Aiden, come on, open your eyes.” He whispered softly.
“Go away.” The older grumbled.
“I’m not going anywhere until you wake up and take a shower.” No reaction.
“Come on, bunny. Wake up.”
Suddenly, his eyes were wide open, looking at Edwin in shock. And then his features turned sad again, putting his head back down on the backrest.
“Don’t call me that.” he said in his low voice quietly and hugged the plushie tighter.
“Listen, either you wake up and take a shower or I’ll bring the shower to you. All it needs is a big bowl of water and tissues.”
Aiden opened his eyes again, looking at him. He looked annoyed somehow. Standing up slowly and throwing the plushie away, he walked to the bedroom and before Edwin could follow, the other had closed and locked the door. Then he heard him say, “Leave, Edwin.”
“Okay I will, but please take a shower and eat something. There’s no color on you.” He didn’t get a reply but left anyway.
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When Aiden had arrived at the hospital, all of their friends were there. Upon seeing him there, the atmosphere became a little tense. He wanted to make sure Ian was okay, but he also didn’t know if he could go to his room or not. Would he be mad if he did? Would he be sad if he didn’t, thinking Aiden never actually cared like he once yelled at him? He felt lost, so he just scooted down in the middle of the hallway and grabbed his head in his hands. Max was the first one to rush to him to make him stand up and sit on a chair next to the wall.
“How is he? Is he awake?” Joe asked the others.
“Not yet, but the doctor just told us it’s nothing serious, nothing that’s related to the injuries, anyway. He’s just overworked his body.” Finn sighed. “Honestly, sometimes I wonder if it didn’t work out between you two cos you’re both just so similar. Look at this situation! We should always have you two unconscious on a hospital bed for overworking your stupid asses.”
“So- so it has nothing to do with his brain condition? Are you sure? You’re not lying, are you?” Aiden asked, looking at Brad cos the guy was incapable of lying.
“It’s the truth Denny, with the new branch and everything, he has so much work to do and now that he’s bought your shares and has to do your part as well, it all somehow doubles his work, if not more. It’s really got nothing to do with his condition. He doesn’t even HAVE a condition anymore.” Brad replied while sitting by his side and hugging him by the shoulder.
“Well, he still hates me so…”
“He hates you regardless of that. You know how Ian is. It’s either love or hate for him. There’s no in-between. Not really.” Finn’s tone was like he was trying to convince a two-year-old.
“I probably know him better than all of you, Finn. Don’t talk to me like I’m some kid. He’s a fucking ball of sunshine. The only person he hates is me.” He chuckled, “Well, that and tomato.” The smile remained on his face upon remembering the first time he handed Ian a tomato while eating one himself. He had become furious, actually gagging and slapping it out of his hand while glaring at him angrily.
Making sure Ian was okay and awoken through the guys, he left the hospital after being there for more than 24 hours. It was only when he entered his house that he remembered about the blue-haired boy he had left there. He wished him to be there and not be there at the same time. He wanted to go back to the hospital and actually visit Ian while he wanted to lock himself in here, never let anyone in ever again as well. He wanted to be alone, but he also wanted his friends, especially Joe, to be there with him. All the dualities were making him insane, and he knew only one way to just shut his fucking brain up. Well, two actually, but he was too worn out to go get any drugs. Plus, he had promised the siblings not to do them anymore, so it left only alcohol. Taking a bottle with him to the bedroom, he slid down the wall and just drank. He drank the whole bottle until he felt his stomach turn. So he rushed to the bathroom and threw it all up. Feeling nauseous, he turned the shower on and just sat there, fully clothed, crying for a long time. And that was how he had been spending his time ever since: drinking everything he could find, throwing it all up, sleeping for a little while, and then drinking again. It was a loop he didn’t seem to be able to escape.
When he heard digits entering and failing, he felt relieved that he had changed the passcode cos he really wasn’t in the mood for his friends’ loud voices nagging at him. They had called enough times already, and he had told them to leave him be before turning it off and throwing it somewhere he didn’t even remember. But then the door opened and light footsteps searched all around the house before entering the studio.
‘Aiden. Come on. Open your eyes.’
He didn’t even know who it was cos he was feeling really dizzy and the hand on his shoulder felt strangely heavy. All he could say was ‘go away.’
And then, upon hearing the nickname, he gained his consciousness back, realizing it was only Edwin. The other kept talking and telling him to take a shower. He knew he was whispering, but even that was very loud to Aiden. He could only think of one way to make him leave, so he locked himself in his bedroom and told the doctor to go.
‘Sure, drive everyone who cares away and then sit and cry about why no one ever sticks by your side.’ His brain screamed at him but he just ignored it. How could he know they truly cared? Like, genuinely? There was no way, and like Lili once told him, people mostly care and help others to make themselves feel good and useful. He knew it wasn’t a hundred percent true as he also recalled her saying ‘There are no certain facts.’ but he couldn’t help doubting everyone’s affection for him. He had learned abandonment at an early age, and it had just left him traumatized.
Two more days passed like that. With him not eating and only drinking the alcohol he was going to throw up later but was worth it cos some of it went into his blood and made his brain numb after all. He was currently drinking the last drops of the last bottle he had, going insane at the thought of not having any more. Throwing the bottle at a wall and making it shatter all around, he sank down and groaned in frustration. He had to go get more, or he had to call someone to bring him some. He didn’t want anyone around, so he decided it was best if he bought it himself. Wearing clothes was never so hard. He barely had the energy to stand up straight, but he managed somehow. Walking out of the door and to the elevator, he leaned against the wall, waiting for it to open, while he struggled to keep his eyes from closing.
‘What if someone takes a picture of you like this? You’ll be in every article.’
He couldn’t find any fucks left in him to give, so he just shook his head again and looked at the number on the screen. It was one more floor until the door would open. Only when it did, he wished he had never come out in the first place. In the elevator, there were Luis and Edwin. Both of them stared at him when they saw him in front of them. He sighed, knowing exactly what was about to happen. He just leaned off the wall, accepting defeat as he walked back to his apartment, knowing they’d follow. Walking inside and sinking into the couch, he threw his arm over his eyes, not wanting to see anyone or be seen. This was going to be a shitshow.Â
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