Behind The Limelight 13: Reel Or Real

“How could you do this?” Ashton said, the corner of his lips turning downwards in a disappointed frown.

“You don’t know what it’s like to be in my place,” Ryker replied. “To love somebody that’s never going to look at you the same way.”

“Bullshit,” Ashton spat. “Don’t give me these stupid excuses. You tried to kiss my girlfriend behind my back and this is what you have to say?”

“Look, I was drunk and—”

“Doesn’t matter! You tried to kiss my girlfriend. Period. I thought we were friends and this is what you do when I’m not around?”

“I didn’t mean to…”

“Does our friendship not matter to you?” Ashton asked. “You know what? Fuck this. I’m done. I never want to see your face again after tonight.”

“Wait, no—” Ryker tried to grab Ashton’s arm as he was about to leave, “don’t go! Please, Ash!”

“Cut!” Eric yelled, sighing in frustration.

Ryker immediately moved away from Ashton, as both the men turned to face the director. Ashton folded his arms in front of his chest, his expression tired and bored.

“Ryker, mate, what the fuck?” Eric deadpanned. “When the camera is on then he is Luke, not Ash for Christ’s sake. This is the third time you’ve done this!”

“I’m sorry,” Ryker muttered. “Won’t happen again, I swear.”

“I sure fucking hope so,” Eric grunted. “Fine, we’ll take it again from the last line. Good job with the scene, Ash. Very authentic.”

“Thanks,” Ashton replied. He wanted to scoff at the irony of it all, but he resisted the urge to do so.

“Take two… Scene fifty one… Action!”

Thankfully, Ryker didn’t mess up again. They wrapped up the shoot soon after and everyone was free to go home. The three actors had the next day off as a different set had to be built and arranged, and Ashton couldn’t wait to relax. He could go to a spa and get a massage, or just lay around in bed all day and catch up on some shows. Who knows? Maybe he could do both. Regardless of whatever he would do, he was more than ecstatic for the short break.

Ryker didn’t even glance at Ashton as the two of them walked over to their designated chairs for the crew to take off their make-up and what not. This was how it had been going ever since that time the two rehearsed lines together in Ashton’s trailer, three weeks ago.

Ryker was dedicated. He wasn’t saying a word to Ashton that he didn’t absolutely need to, and kept his distance whenever they were off the set. Ashton was grateful for it, he no longer had to worry about Ryker bothering him or pestering him to talk. But there was a part of him that felt… empty. As if there was something missing.

It did create a little bit of tension too, especially when they were around other people. But they weren’t letting their personal issues come in between work. Not anymore than the usual mishaps that actors made during shots, so as long as that was the case— nobody complained. Or seemed to care.

“So! What are you both doing tonight?” Tabitha asked, sipping on her watermelon juice as she stood in between the chairs of the two men.

“Catching up on some much needed sleep,” Ashton replied with a nonchalant shrug.

“Same,” came Ryker’s short answer.

“Boring,” Tabitha tsk-ed. “I think we should all go out. You can catch up on your sleep all day tomorrow.”

“I’m kinda tired,” Ashton said.

“I’m in,” Ryker paused. “Where do we go?”

“We can go grab dinner first and then decide the plan after that. My fiancé really wants to meet you both too, so if you don’t mind can they join as well?” Tabitha asked.

“I’m cool with that,” Ryker replied, unbothered.

“Ash?” Tabitha turned to face the brunette, looking at him with wide eyes and a gleeful smile.

“I’d love to but—”

“Lee is a huge fan of yours,” Tabitha cut him off. “You have no idea how excited they were when I told them that I was going to be working beside you. They’ve loved you and your work ever since you did Basics Of Love and they’ve been dying to meet you!”

“I was literally a creepy stalker in that,” Ashton blinked, making Tabitha wave her hand dismissively.

“Yeah, but the plot and your acting was absolutely bomb,” Tabitha defended. “Come on, Ash! It’s just one night!”

“Tabby…”

Ashton trailed off, not knowing what to say now that Tabitha was telling him this. He was aware that she was probably just saying all this to manipulate him into coming, but he still felt bad saying no on the off chance that it was actually true.

“Pretty please?” Tabitha spoke. “Just dinner? You can leave after that if you want to.”

“Okay,” Ashton muttered. “Text me the name of the restaurant and I’ll meet you guys there.”

“What’s the point of going separately? Let’s just take either of our cars and go together,” Tabitha suggested. Ashton frowned, recalling the last time he was in a car with Ryker. But at least this time he won’t be alone with the other man.

“We can go in mine. I don’t have a driver so there’s nobody to take it back,” Ryker added.

“Perfect! Freshen up and I’ll see you guys at the parking in like half an hour?”

“Cool.”

“Sure.”

With that Tabitha left to go to her trailer. Ryker glanced at Ashton briefly before doing the same, leaving the actor all alone. He stared at himself in the mirror as he exhaled deeply. Goddamnit, I really need to learn how to say no, he thought.

After taking a quick shower and changing into a shirt and jeans, Ashton was all ready to head out. He informed his driver that he wouldn’t be going with him, and begrudgingly made his way to Ryker’s car. He kept telling himself that it was only going to be for a couple hours, just dinner, and then he would be free to leave.

He could tolerate being around Ryker for that long, especially since Ryker was adamant on pretending that Ashton didn’t exist the same way that Ashton ignored his presence. Thinking about the past, Ashton realized that he was never the one to initiate any sort of contact. It was always Ryker that came up to him, which would eventually lead to Ashton losing his cool. If Ryker didn’t make the first move, then the night should pass by like a breeze.

Or so he hoped.

Ryker was waiting outside his car, leaning against the driver’s door as he typed away on his phone. Tabitha wasn’t there yet, making Ashton curse internally as he realized that they would have to wait for her. Alone.

He walked up to the fellow actor, feeling a bit awkward. Ryker glanced up as he heard the footsteps, his eyes moving back to his phone screen as fast as humanly possibly when he saw that it was Ashton that was approaching him.

Ashton dug his hands into his pockets, not knowing what to say or do. Should he just stand next to him? Should he say something? A hello? Or should he just stay quiet? Ryker clearly wasn’t going to initiate anything, so the ball was in Ashton’s court.

He leaned against the hood of the car, facing away from the other man as he gazed up at the night sky. It was a full moon, and a very pretty view. Maybe he could just stare at the stars and pass the time as they waited…

But something was bugging Ashton deep within. It was frustrating. It was clawing to come out, and Ashton could only keep it in for so long before he finally burst open.

“You really need to work on your delivery during emotional scenes,” Ashton broke the silence. “I know action and shit is more your forte but since you signed up for this… you’ve got to learn.”

“Excuse me?” Ryker replied, looking up from his device with a confused frown.

“The scene with Tabitha? The party one?” Ashton elaborated. “Your uncomfort was clearly visible.”

“Eric said it was fine,” Ryker muttered.

“Yeah, after what? The hundreth take?” Ashton scoffed. “You can do better than that.”

“Is that so?” Ryker pressed his lips in a thin line. Ashton turned to face him, giving him a casual shrug. “Since when do you know me enough to say that I can do better?”

“Since I’m the only one here that has seen all your plays,” Ashton answered.

“My plays?” Ryker let out a bitter laugh. “That was a long time ago. You said so yourself, we’ve both changed since then.”

“As people? Yeah sure. But that doesn’t imply to our acting skills,” Ashton retorted.

“Whatever you say,” Ryker muttered. He paused for a moment, before continuing. “I thought you didn’t want to talk to me.”

“I don’t,” Ashton replied without wasting a second. “But this is related to work, so… So yeah. This is fine.”

“Right…” Ryker didn’t seem to buy what the other man was saying. “If it’s okay to talk about work then I should let you know that you ought to tell your make-up artist to cool it with the hair gel.”

“What’s wrong with my hair?” Ashton frowned, running his fingers through his stands.

“Nothing normally, but it looks better without a ton of products in it,” Ryker said.

“Huh.”

Ashton walked towards Ryker, making the man take a couple steps to the side as Ashton bent down to check himself out in the rearview mirror. His natural hair was sort of wild, and he had to style it a lot to keep it tamed. He was extremely particular about it, something that Ryker was aware of.

“It keeps sticking out,” Ashton mumbled.

“Come here,” Ryker spoke.

Ashton turned to face him as Ryker closed the distance between them, walking up way too close. Ryker ran his fingers through Ashton’s hair in an attempt to style it. Meanwhile, Ashton’s heartbeat rose at the proximity. He didn’t care about his hair anymore as his attention was solely on the other man, and the way that he was attending to and touching Ashton.

Ashton was staring at Ryker, making the fellow actor finally move his gaze to meet Ashton’s. Ryker’s hand was still in Ashton’s hair, but he was not moving it anymore. Both of them were frozen still, their eyes only on each other.

***

am i updating during my final exams? yes. should i be studying instead? also yes. do i regret this? hell no.