Behind The Limelight 44: Whatever They Are

Four days.

They were supposed to wrap up the shoot in just four days.

Ashton looked at his calender on his phone, sighing as he saw how booked he was. From photoshoots and shows to auditions and interviews – he was packed for the next month. He didn’t doubt that Ryker would be too. If anything, he’d probably be busier than Ashton.

Ashton didn’t know what he’d do without knowing for sure that he was going to see Ryker every single day. He had fallen into the routine and adjusted so well, but now it was going to go away and Ashton was having a hard time accepting that.

Ashton and Ryker had done a pretty good job, at least in their opinion, in hiding their whatever-they-were at work. Everyone did notice how much better their chemistry had miraculously gotten both on and off camera, and Erick Tate, especially, was delighted to see that more than anyone.

The two snuck kisses here and there, but other than that they kept their hands to themselves. It worked for them though, because that meant they were only hungrier for each other as the day would come to an end. They would barely make it to Ryker’s bedroom before their clothes would come off. Pretty much every room in Ryker’s house was christened by them already.

If Tabitha suspected anything, she didn’t say a word about it. Maybe she got the hint after her last confrontation with Ashton. She did give a knowing smile or two when the men would be talking to one another, but that no longer scared Ashton.

He wasn’t exactly ready to come out, far from it. He wasn’t ready for public scrutiny and the media acting like they had the rights to know everything that went on in the actors’ bedroom. A part of him also was worried about the reaction of his family.

They had never said anything homophobic in the slightest, and Ashton even had a distant uncle who was gay and he was loved and accepted in the family. But Ashton knew how his parents felt about him already, he figured that this would just become another excuse for them to degrade him.

And as much as Ashton said and pretended like he didn’t care, as much as he would gaslight himself into believing the same- sometimes he felt like the same insecure little boy that craved for every ounce of his parents’ attention and praise. No matter how terrible and fucked up they were.

Thankfully, Ryker hadn’t pushed him into anything. Neither to define the terms of whatever-they-were, nor to come out or go public. From time to time, Ashton did wonder whether this was something that Ryker wanted deep down. But it was too soon for them to be having this conversation, and for now the most important thing was getting done with the shoot.

And one other matter.

“Apparently she showed up at my house again last night,” Ashton muttered. “She threatened Vivien but Viv didn’t let her in. Viv told her I wasn’t home but she kept insisting to check for herself and said she would fire Viv if she tries to stop her.”

“Jesus Christ, what makes her think she has the right to fire your employee?” Ryker sighed tiredly, his lips pursed in distaste.

“Exactly! I’ve blocked seven different numbers of hers and she just keeps getting more. She’s been hounding Malcolm at his office too and I’m sure the only reason she’s not coming here at the set is because it’s too public and she doesn’t want everyone to know what a fucking-” Ashton paused, groaning before continuing, “-I don’t even know what to call her. My mother’s…”

“Insane?” Ryker offered. “Manipulative? Some other words that I’m thinking in my head but don’t really want to
speak out loud?”

“All of the above. Check,” Ashton replied. They were in Ashton’s trailer, and only had a few minutes to spare before they had to get back to work.

“Ash, baby,” Ryker said as he leaned forward, keeping his hand on top of Ashton’s reassuringly. “I know all this is overwhelming as shit and I can’t even imagine what it’s like to be in your shoes. But I think you need to do something about this. Clearly just ignoring her and ghosting her isn’t making her go away. If anything she’s getting more and more persistent.”

“What do you mean, Ry? Don’t talk in circles,” Ashton asked.

“I think you should consider getting a restraining order,” Ryker said, keeping his voice gentle and careful.

“Wow,” Ashton let out a dry laugh. He was beyond frustrated, but he knew that Ryker was right. He had already threatened his mother with this a few times, but maybe it was time he took it seriously. “I can’t believe I’m really considering getting a… getting a restraining order against my own mother. The woman that gave birth to me and raised me and-“

“And emotionally abused you,” Ryker cut him off, shifting closer to the other man. “That’s what she did, Ash. Both your parents. They would break you down and leave you to collect the pieces. No kid should have to hear the things they said to you, and no parent should play the games that they did with you. Just because she gave birth to you and raised you doesn’t mean you owe her anything. She’s the one that owed you. She was supposed to give you love and affection, she was meant to care for you, not be the reason why you need therapy.”

“You’re right, you’re right. No, you’re right,” Ashton repeated, shaking his head. “It’s just hard.”

“I know,” Ryker squeezed his hand tighter. “I’m here for you.”

“You know,” Ashton whispered. “That does make it easier.”

That was all the time they had, unfortunately, until they were called by the crew for the next scene. Ryker had suggested that it would probably be best for Ashton to stay over at his place for the next few days, until the whole thing with his mother was sorted.

Ashton just stared at him blankly, before reminding Ryker that he had been pretty much spending ateast four nights a week at his place ever since they slept together for the first time almost a month ago.

“I know what I did was stupid and I messed up everything. I ruined our friendship and-” Ryker was cut off by the other man.

“I forgive you,” Ashton stated.

“What?” Ryker was shocked. “But… but I thought you were still angry with me. I kissed-“

“And she kissed you back, didn’t she?” Ashton said softly, a sad smile on his face. “She’s fooling herself into believing that she wants me but…she loves you. And you love her. I’ve known it all along but maybe I didn’t want to accept it either so I kept turning a blind eye. But I can’t do that anymore. You both belong together. You and her. Not me.”

“But what about us?” Ryker whispered, his voice desperate.

“What about us?” Ashton shrugged. “We’ll always be best friends.”

“-and cut!” Erick yelled. “Great job, everyone! Ryker, amazing performance as usual and Ash…oh my beautiful boy you’re going to make every broken hearted person sob and smile at the same time. It’s a wrap for today! See y’all bright and early tomorrow. Eddie, grab me my…”

The two of them removed their make-up and changed back into their clothes as fast as they could. After only a few minutes that felt way too long, they were finally in Ryker’s car on their way to his house. Ashton had already taken up a nice little space in Ryker’s massive wardrobe, something the Brazilian man didn’t seem to mind.

“You know, I kinda wanna fuck on set,” Ashton said out of the blue, making Ryker’s eyes go wide as his grip on the steering wheel tightened. Leave it to Ashton Archer to say the most random shit at the most inappropriate time.

“What?” Ryker all but squeaked.

“I don’t mean like, on the set set, but maybe one of those closets we used to hook up in before?” Ashton hummed. “I’ve never had sex there.”

“I thought you were worried about people accidently finding out?”

“I am,” Ashton admitted. “But when has that ever stopped me from having fun?”

“Huh, fair enough,” Ryker spoke. He remained quiet for a few seconds, contemplating the idea in his head. “Should we do it on the last day?”

“Nope, the excitement is too high that day and we’re going to be the centre of all the focus. Plus we also have the shoot end party at Erick’s mansion later,” Ashton reminded. “I vote for the second last day. Everyone’s antsy for work to end and no one’s going to be paying attention. They just want the day to end.”

“Smart,” Ryker grinned.

“All these educational podcasts you’ve got me listening to has given me a brain cell or two, it seems,” Ashton said.

“That’s only fair because the music you keep blasting has definitely killed most of mine,” Ryker retorted.

“Disrespect me all you want, but if you disrespect my music taste then I’ve got beef with you,” Ashton replied, folding his arms in front of his chest as he stared at the other man.

“Baby, you have the music taste of a sixteen year old emo boy that spends half his time on Tumblr and the other half into dyeing his hair black and cutting holes in his clothes,” Ryker spoke.

“You’re just not cultured enough to appreciate the beauty of punk rock music,” Ashton shot back. “Also, someone that likes country shouldn’t really be judging other people’s music taste.”

“I do not like country!” Ryker protested. Ashton only huffed, before raising a single brow as if telling Ryker that he wasn’t buying his shit. Ryker pouted lightly, before muttering, “what’s wrong with country music?”

“Nothing, babe, absolutely nothing.”

“You’re just a hater.”

“Hello? You’re the one that started this!” Ashton exclaimed.

“And you continued!” Ryker replied.

“Because that’s how conversations work, genius,” Ashton scoffed.

“Shut up or…”

“Or what?” Ashton asked.

“I won’t make you dinner,” Ryker theatened.

“I have a private chef.”

“I’ll throw you out of my car,” Ryker continued.

“I’ll call a cab,” Ashton smirked.

“I won’t let you into my house.”

“I have three of my own,” Ashton said.

“I won’t kiss you.”

“Fine, I’ll shut up.”

***