Atlas POV
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The night was always calming. There was just something about cool breezes and moonlit fields that drew my attention. Perhaps it was the silence. The peaceful wind that swept through every so often. Tonight, was anything but peaceful. Thoughts kept racing through my head, and my eyes kept fazing in and out of focus.
The mask of no expressions I kept up wouldn’t stop swapping out for my frantic eyes, beating heart. I raised my head as the car came to a stop. The gentle rumble of the engine paused, snapping me out of my thoughts.
I sat there, in the seat, trying to make sense of what to do next. The car door opened, and I let out a long breath. Alright. This is different. Stay on your guard, and you’ll be fine. Don’t mess up or he’ll- no. Not now. I can’t worry about him anymore. I pushed myself off the seat, resuming my emotionless face.
Dipping my head to thank the driver, I looked around. There wasn’t too much to see. The car was perched on top of a hill. Looking out to the horizon, the moon shone down onto me just as usual. I felt the comfort of the dim white light and blinked haphazardly as the car began to turn, bright lights blinding me.
Oh. Just like that. The car left. I guess I shouldn’t be too surprised. The driver had nothing to do with me. As the car rumbled towards the town at the base of the hill, the wind rippled over my shirt, and I closed my eyes, embracing the warm summer night, and the faint colours of town houses through my eyelids. Maybe I will be alright.
“Hey” a voice shook me out of my thoughts. I looked over to where it came from. Looking over the fields and town was a large Queenslander. Bay windows jutted out and a white balcony looked over a small flower garden beside it. With the moon smiling down on it, it really was a picture of beauty.
But the house isn’t what caught my eye. It was the owner of the voice. Standing just inside the doorway was a boy. Dark, messy curtain bangs fell over his eyes, which seemed to glow with a piercing green. His strong jawline was matched with a low-cut shirt, showing off clearly defined collarbones, and large hands stuck into baggy jeans. He coughed.
My eyes flicked up at him, and heat rose to my cheeks. My eyes had been raking over him and I hadn’t even noticed. A low chuckle filled the air, and he beckoned for me to come inside. Shaking off my pink cheeks, I gripped my bag and followed after him. My heart was beating fast now. It wasn’t just because of the man I was now following. I had blushed. I had shown emotion. I kept trying to stop my mind from wandering over to what happened when I slipped, but deep down, it was all I was thinking about.
Mentally slapping myself, I twisted my fingers together and tried to keep my breathing steady. I kept walking and soon we shifted onto the stairs as I followed, staring at the ground until I heard his voice again. “Alright. This is your room. You don’t have to share it with anyone, although we do have larger rooms that some of us share anyway.” He told me, looking down at my face. “We’ll be having dinner in 10 minutes, so unpack a bit and come down if you’re hungry.” He smiled and walked off.
I nodded, and pushing open the door, I let out a breath I didn’t know I had been holding. I wasn’t expecting him to be so nice. Going to a home for so called troubled people didn’t suggest anything like this. I looked around the room, and almost gasped.
It was far bigger than my room at my old house. This one had bookshelves, windows, and a large bed sitting in the middle. A reading light was turned on and mixed with the light streaming in from the bay windows, the room felt warm and cosy. I slipped of my bag and began taking out books to fill up the bookshelf. I had always liked reading. It gave me something to do. It was fun, and I learnt from it too. I couldn’t be yelled at for reading, maybe that was why I had latched onto it so quickly.
Either way, my new bookshelf was now filled with the collections of read and unread books. giving it a quick glance, I gave a small smile at the first piece of identity I had established in my room. Moving onto a desk in the corner, I lay down a calendar, sketchbooks, and all my studying equipment I had brought with me.
The process was repeated with the rest of room, until I sat on my bed. I had somewhat of a pleased expression on my face which was quickly drowned out from my usual emotionless one as footsteps stopped outside my door.
The few knocks rang out before I got up, twisting the doorhandle, and pulling it open. I stepped forward, before bumping into something stiff. Losing my footing, I shoved a foot back, catching myself. “Sorry” I mumbled quietly, before looking up to the guy from earlier looking at me. Standing up straight, I noticed I barely reached the bottom of his chest, but stepped outside and closed the door, forcing down a blush.
“Uh- right.” He coughed, “My name is Magnus by the way. I run this institution. I was just coming up to tell you we’re about to have dinner.” His words were rushed, and I only just made sense of them before he spoke again “and I can answer any questions after dinner.” He mumbled, before leading me off downstairs.
I was glad he hadn’t tried to catch me, but perhaps that’s why his words were rushed. I had seen his hand twitch, veins becoming more apparent as he moved forward slightly, before seemingly reminding himself of something. I didn’t like it when people touched me. They could feel me. It felt like they could see right through me.
Magnus and I arrived in the dining hall, and I looked around to see a table filled with other boys, and another in the kitchen that was opened onto the dining room. As soon as Magnus entered, the room fell quiet, and I watched as all the faces turned to face me. Fuck. As I studied each of their faces, something became clear. They were all beautiful. Each one had a unique feeling and mood around them, and as I observed each one, my hands began to play with each other once more.
I don’t know if I would consider myself pretty, like I would consider them. Scars ran all throughout my body, and although I knew I had muscles, I could never really admire them as others could, usually whenever my shirt was off it was to bandage up marks and injuries. I had light grey hair, that fell just over my eyes, and came down my neck in a wolf cut. I had clear skin and a sharp jawline, but they always seemed drowned out by the way I had to keep my head down.
I always envied those with green eyes, although I had some, mine weren’t light and cheerful. They were dark, swirling with emotions. There was one thing I was certain I liked about me though. It was my style. I enjoyed the way I dressed, the way I could change how my body looked or what my mood was just by piecing together different clothes together. I could never compare my self to these guys though.
Magnus gestured to the guy in the kitchen, who was taking a stack of plates over to the table. “That’s Niko” He began. I looked at Niko. His fluffy brown hair touched over bright hazel eyes, and a warm vibe was around him that just invited you to get up at hug him. He looked sweet, and cosy, but as much as I wanted my eyes to roam further, and observe each one of these boys, I brought my consciousness back.
I wasn’t going to let anything show on my face, absolutely nothing, even as I realised, I had been checking out Niko. Niko offered a small smile, which I turned my head away from. He got the message, a moved to deliver the plates. It didn’t affect me too much. A small piece of me wanted to run over and apologise, but I couldn’t slip up now. Magnus directed me over to a seat beside another dark-haired boy, and I sat down silently.
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