Theme:Â angst
Note: you guys asked for this
also i wrote this before I wrote the first part and didn’t revise it bc it’s super short so
×××
Obanai hated it. Thinking about Giyuu on his worst days, mind filled of better times. Nights spent on the roof, sitting in Giyuu’s lap. Afternoons by a lake, feet in the water, soft chatter drifting in the wind with the sound of the steady stream. He hated that his first instinct was to text Giyuu, asking if he could come over. He hated that he hadn’t yet deleted the photos of Giyuu Shinobu had sent him. He hated that sometimes Giyuu was all that he could think of, Giyuu making him smile, Giyuu helping him slowly eat more, Giyuu holding him, Giyuu, Giyuu, Giyuu.
After they had broken up, Obanai’s health had deteriorated. Before, he’d always thought badly of people who were like this, acting as if their relationships were all that were keeping them together. But he understood, now. Understood the feeling of losing the only person who got him. Losing his sanity, losing his sleep, losing all the progress he had made in the past year. The intervals between the times he ate grew longer until he woke up in a hospital. Passing out became the only times he could sleep and many days on end without shutting his eyes once were much too often. Sanemi was there, trying to force a snack into his mouth, and Obanai was thankful for him, really. But Sanemi wasn’t Giyuu. He wasn’t the same. He could never be. And it really wasn’t his fault. But it hurt.
Sometimes at school, Obanai noticed Giyuu talking to Sabito. Usually, when Giyuu smiled, he felt happy. Now, it was only a punch in the gut saying that Giyuu was really better off without Obanai. That Giyuu was happier, would find a better life, would leave Obanai far behind. As if he had never been there.
School became rare soon when Obanai’s health crumbled. He was pulled into therapy and hospitals and so much more that was all useless. Giyuu was all that could help. The times he felt most happy anymore were the times between sleep and consciousness, drifting from reality to dreams, remembering when Giyuu would be the one rocking him to sleep, when Obanai would wake up hours later and Giyuu was still there, asleep and holding him tightly. But because of this, he found himself hating sleep. He refused to let his mind play tricks on him, let him imagine that things were alright. They never would be. Giyuu had moved on and that was the truth of it, there was no changing reality. Giyuu would never like him again. And it was all Obanai’s fault. After all, Giyuu had broken up with him. Because Obanai hadn’t been good enough. He didn’t know what he had done, but he hadn’t been enough. He had been bad enough at this that Giyuu had called him to meet up only to tell him that this wouldn’t work out, that he wanted to break up, that Obanai should find someone else, that they wouldn’t last together any longer. There would never be an Obanai and Giyuu anymore. It would just be Obanai, or Giyuu.
Despite everything.
×××
« Word count: 547 »
i know.. its very repetitive- i should rlly write more obagiyuu tho smh
Comment