Random Kny One Shots [Requests Closed] Change of heart | {SaneGiyuu}

Theme: Angsty fluff 😀

-Requested by: @giyuusfuturewife

Note: Sorry this took so long for me to get to :c / also i cant title things ignore the title

tw; anxiety attack ?

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Giyuu had never been one to get emotional. No matter what the Hashira did, he remained irritatingly impassive and stoic. He fit his title as the Water Pillar, given how his expression seemed constantly washed over with a neutral look. It was stupid. Sanemi hated it. Was this man actually human? So, for about as long as Sanemi had known Giyuu, he’d wished to live to see even a flicker of emotion pass through those serious blue eyes. He’d ranted about it to Obanai, he’d complained about it to Giyuu’s face. Perhaps most of the Hashira had, at least once, hoped to find any pointers towards Giyuu’s ability to feel. But even so, when the time finally came, Sanemi wished for it to go away.

They had been sent on a mission together to save a bunch of other, weaker Slayers who had encountered several Lowermoons. They had parted at the beginning to gain more ground and it wasn’t long until the crows informed them that there weren’t any demons in the area left. Sanemi was tired, the lack of sleep he was getting finally catching up to him, but he made himself help the Kakushi. They were bustling about, bringing the dead into one place to later bury. Sanemi recognized none of them, though he kept an eye out for Genya. His crow was directing him to Giyuu now, whom he’d ordered to be brought to. They would probably have to do a second sweep around the place just to double check. 

Spotting Giyuu ahead, Sanemi quickened his pace. There was something strangely off about Giyuu’s posture, his shoulders drawn in and chin ducked down, but Sanemi waved it off as usual, stupid Tomioka Giyuu behavior. When he approached, however, he realized that Giyuu had tucked himself in for utterly different reasons. Sanemi wasn’t quite sure at first, given that Giyuu was a naturally quiet person, but it became clear what had happened when Giyuu startled at the new presence. He was very out of it if he hadn’t sensed Sanemi a few moments ago.

Giyuu looked up, eyes wide. At his self exposure, Sanemi took the chance to examine his colleague. To his complete shock, he found the man shaking, a look of something that rivaled terror drawn into his features. For a moment, they simply stood there, staring at each other. But then Giyuu all but collapsed into himself, stumbling down into a crouch, his hands tearing through his hair. At the sudden movement, Sanemi reacted, reaching for his katana. Realizing this had nothing to do with a demon, he let his arms hang by his side, gazing uncertainly at the man before him. Who the fuck was this?

“Tomioka?” he asked. The usual malice in his voice was gone, replaced by reluctant confusion. Was Giyuu like this after every mission? No. They had had joint missions before; he was usually normal. So what had happened?

There was no response, of course, only the faint, sporadic breathing that came from the trembling man below Sanemi. He didn’t know what to do. He didn’t like this version of Giyuu. Equally unresponsive but somehow so fucked out of it. It was unnerving. 

Reluctantly, Sanemi willed himself to kneel beside Giyuu. He dipped his head to the side, trying to catch a look at the Hashira. He didn’t want to pry too much, afraid he’d make it worse somehow, but he repeated, quietly, “Tomioka?”

A sharp intake. Giyuu shifted, his face peeking through his arms as he met Sanemi’s gaze. His hair stuck out in every direction, obscuring his eyes. Even so, he looked… tired. The panic from earlier seemed to have seeped out of him, leaving some shell of a man. He looked like he’d given up. What the fuck.

“What’s wrong?”

Maybe because Sanemi was being uncharacteristically soft, or maybe because of some unspoken thought, Giyuu mumbled something. Sanemi strained to hear him.

“What?”

“Tanjiro,” Giyuu repeated, after a moment. The name came out stiff. Dancing on his tongue like a word just out of reach.

“Kamado? What about him?” Sanemi frowned. Leaves shifted under his knee as he shifted to sit in front of Giyuu. Had Tanjiro done something? No. If his sister had killed or eaten a human, the Kasugai would be shouting about it by now. Then, what had happened? Maybe Tanjiro had gone and fucked something up for Giyuu. After all, that boy seemed nothing more than a living, breathing omen of shitty luck.

Giyuu shook his head. His breath was cutting short. His chest rose and fell in a rapid pace, arms falling from where they’d encased his head as he stood, abruptly. Sanemi nearly toppled backwards, but he managed to stay up, following suit.

“Tomioka?” he asked, for the third time in the last ten minutes.

Desperation wrote itself all over Giyuu’s expression. “Tanjiro,” he said, echoing himself. 

“Tanjiro,” Sanemi mimicked. “What the fuck did that boy do?”

Giyuu shook his head quickly. “I- It was- My fault.” He paced, trying to recall what had happened. His words came out jumbled, like a child trying to recount their day. Unordered and confusing. “He was… I was chasing a demon. Tanjiro. The demon was leaving. Tanjiro, he… I saw him. But it was too fast. I don’t know what… I had to follow the demon. But I saw Tanjiro. On the ground. There was— There was blood. A lot. He wasn’t… I killed the demon. I couldn’t find Tanjiro. …The Kakushi- They- I-“

Throughout Giyuu’s rant, it struck Sanemi that this was the most he’d heard him speak at once before. Fucking terrifying.

“Okay. Uhm. Slow down, Tomioka,” Sanemi tried. He stepped in, stopped Giyuu’s pacing. Giyuu turned to look at him. His eyebrows were skewed, teeth abusing his bottom lip with anxiety. His breathing seemed a touch too fast.

“I need to find him—” Giyuu gasped. He moved to swerve around Sanemi but was too out of it to dodge him. He fell.

Sanemi bent down, hoisting Giyuu up and holding him tightly. “So you’re telling me that Kamado’s dead?” he asked. He regretted the words a moment later when Giyuu flinched. Fuck. It’s been a while since he’s… “Sorry.”

Giyuu shook his head again. “He’s not dead. He can’t be.”

How fucking much did Giyuu care about this kid? 

“Right. He’s alive,” Sanemi agreed, mostly to console him.

“But I saw him,” Giyuu said desperately. He seemed to be battling himself. “There was too much blood.”

Sanemi sighed. “It could have been someone else’s.”

Giyuu wasn’t listening. That bastard.

“I failed,” he mumbled to himself. “Tanjiro’s- He’s dead- It’s my fault-“

Sanemi smacked his head with his free hand. “Shut the fuck up, Tomioka. Kamado’s annoyingly resilient. He’d rise from the dead if his sister was still in need of help,” he said matter-of-factly. “So why don’t we look for him now?”

Giyuu trembled slightly. He was in his own world. Or, maybe not. 

Sanemi swore under his breath. Giyuu was not functioning correctly. His chest rose and fell so quickly it could’ve not been moving. Sanemi put him down as gently as he could.

“Tomioka!” he snapped. He lifted Giyuu’s chin to force their gazes to meet. “Tomioka, listen.”

Giyuu gazed at Sanemi in a daze. All the panic from earlier was back. It held him down, rendered him useless. He was like a child. He was so different from Sanemi, who would never let himself freeze. Who never had. He didn’t know what to do. 

“Shit. Tomioka.” Sanemi seethed through his teeth at the lack of response he was getting. He picked up Giyuu’s shaking hands, cradling them in his own. “Tomioka, can you hear me?”

An achingly long moment stretched before him. Then Giyuu nodded, vaguely. Sanemi let out a relieved breath.

“‘kay.” Sanemi brought one of Giyuu’s hands up, pressing it to his bare chest. He winced at how cold Giyuu’s fingers were against his skin. “Uhm. You feel my heartbeat?”

Giyuu nodded again, his eyes wide. 

“Right. Can you try breathing to it? On beat. Or whatever. I need you to calm down,” Sanemi told him. No response. Giyuu’s head ducked down, his chin tucked against his chest. It took Sanemi a moment to realize Giyuu was trying to do as he was told. He was struggling, though. It was rare for a Hashira to lose control of their breathing. It was foreign, almost, to stop the instinctive technique. No doubt Giyuu was trying to bring it back. Sanemi relaxed, guiding Giyuu through breathing. “Good.”

Giyuu’s shoulders slumped slightly at the word. He was calming, if slowly. Eventually, he grabbed hold of himself. He sat for a long time quietly. They listened to each other’s breathing. There was the faint sound of movement around them from the Kakushi and other Slayers. None of them interfered with them, however, and they stayed in their little nook of privacy.

When Giyuu finally looked up, the fatigue in his eyes was clearer than ever. “Sorry,” he mumbled.

Sanemi rolled his eyes, an exasperated sigh leaving him. “Don’t mention it. Let’s go find Kamado, yeah? Then you can stop thinking he’s dead. I saw the Kakushi bringing the dead together. I didn’t recognize anyone,” he said. 

Giyuu nodded reluctantly. “Okay.”

They stood and made their way to the others. The Kakushi were bringing people back and forth. The ones with more immediate wounds were already being brought to the Butterfly Estate. At the presence of two Hashira, some of the Slayers froze. The Kakushi, however, continued. Sanemi approached one of them.

“Hey,” he said, getting their attention.

The Kakushi looked up. “Yes, Shinazugawa-sama?”

“Is Kamado here? Tanjiro Kamado.”

The Kakushi turned and consulted one of the others. Then one of the Mizunoto Slayers spoke up.

“I- I saw him with the demon girl. Over there,” they said, pointing.

Sanemi nodded an acknowledgment to them and proceeded to drag Giyuu where they were directed. Giyuu was in two minds, half stumbling along, half making it an extreme nuisance to care for. Eventually, Sanemi spotted Tanjiro up ahead. Giyuu appeared to have noticed him too because he froze, almost unsure if he wanted to know what happened. There were two Kakushi there, blocking the Hashira’s view of most of Tanjiro, but it wasn’t hard to recognize his haori and Nezuko, who was asleep beside him. Sanemi took it as a good sign.

After a bit of coaxing to Giyuu, they approached Tanjiro. Sanemi hummed when he saw the Kakushi were bandaging him up. He was unconscious, it seemed, but not dead. They wouldn’t bother using their supplies if there wasn’t hope for him. Gently, Sanemi nudged Giyuu forward. When he was met with a stone wall, he opted to shove him.

Giyuu yelped, catching himself before he toppled over. He knelt by Tanjiro as the Kakushi made room for him.

When nobody spoke, Sanemi forced himself to do the honors, growing impatient. “He alright?”

One of the Kakushi nodded. “Nothing major. He lost some blood but a couple day’s rest should have him back up,” they said. 

A soft sigh made it past Giyuu’s lips as he let relief wash over him. He stood, thanking the Kakushi quietly. Then he retreated, almost embarrassed for the amount of emotion he’d showed in the last hour. Sanemi rolled his eyes and followed him, echoing Giyuu’s appreciation to the Kakushi as they left. He caught up with Giyuu, matching his pace. Leaves shifted silently under their feet.

They walked without a word for several minutes, occasionally stopping to help the Kakushi. But overall, their job was done here. The sun was beginning to rise and rays of light danced over them. Giyuu paused. He stared up at the sky, which was matted over with clouds here and there. Sanemi stopped beside him, watching him. Then, Giyuu spoke. Somehow, it was still surprising, despite everything.

“Sorry for the trouble,” he said. His voice was carried lightly through the air. If there had been any noise, his words would’ve been lost to the wind. (ironically, it’s very loud at home)

Sanemi hummed, waving it off. “We have our bad days.”

“I overreacted,” Giyuu interjected. He ignored Sanemi. “And I apologize for making you deal with that.”

Sanemi scoffed. “You didn’t ‘make’ me deal with it. I could’ve easily left you there. Which would’ve been insensitive as fuck, anyway,” Sanemi pointed out. He didn’t mention that he had a tendency to be very insensitive towards Giyuu.

“It would’ve been alright—”

“Seriously just shut the fuck up,” Sanemi interrupted, moving to stand in front of Giyuu. He forced him to meet his gaze. “What’s done is done and if you feel like you have to make it up to me, then go for it. But stop apologizing, it’s annoying, and, genuinely, apologies mean nothing to me.”

Giyuu bit his lip uncertainly. He said nothing, though, which satisfied Sanemi. 

“Good.”

A moment’s pause stretched between them before they started walking again. This time, Sanemi led the way. He had no idea where they were going—given that he’d just thoughtlessly followed Giyuu earlier—but he continued down the path. Birds began to flit above them, the world waking up as they headed home to sleep. Eventually, Sanemi recognized a path he could take home and turned to Giyuu.

With the last bit of hospitality he had left, Sanemi said, “I’m going now. I’ll… see you around?”

Giyuu nodded. “Thank you.”

“Don’t mention it.”

They exchanged what would probably be their last calm moment with one another, what could pass off as a smile passing through them before they parted ways.

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« Word count: 2248 »

there wasnt so much comfort bc idk 

i realized that listening to music while writing only makes me confused, unless its instrumental, so im sorry if some of this doesnt make sense 😔 

didnt proofread <3 ly guys