The sound of her heart was much louder than the families crying over their family members lying on the hospital bed. Her long-kept sighs had went out of her chest as Sandra walked to where her office was. What on earth would her ex-girlfriend be doing inside her office? With every step that she took, the brunette was reminded with the fact that it was her own fault and now she was taking in every careless regret that her resigning bones had to offer; she was bathing herself in melancholy, but despite that, she knew she did the right thing.
The door of her office was closed and she knew that inside, Cate was there. She fixed her hair as she stood inches away from the door, took a deep breath before she let her hand moved to open it. There was a price and half a punishment waiting inside, she knew, and when she entered her office, there was the blonde she onced tied herself to. Cate was sitting on her own swivel chair, a smile on the blonde’s face was on display as if it was her territory.
“Good morning.” Despite the nervousness in her system, Sandra was able to maintain her professionalism, “If you don’t mind, get off my seat because that is not yours.” She stood in front of her desk, “What can I do for you?”
“Oh.” Cate chimed full of glee as she leaned on the desk, placed her chin on her palm as she smiled at Sandra, “I am asking you out so when are you free?”
The world spun slowly the moment she said those words and Sandra in front had to clench her toes to keep herself from falling apart. Why was she doing this?
“If that’s what you are here for, you are free to go out.” Sandra replied nonchalantly, “Or I can just call security if you want.”
“Don’t be too harsh on me, baby.” The blonde countered, still in the same position as she grinned, “So… when are you free?”
“Do you want me to call security?”
“Can you do that?”
The brunette’s brow raised, “Are you challenging me?” She reached for the telephone on her desk, but stopped when the blonde stood up abruptly from her seat.
“Fine. I’ll stop.” Cate muttered as she stood up.
“If you don’t mind, you may go out because I still have a lot of things to do.” She walked to the other side of her desk and was about to sit when she noticed the blonde’s left leg, “What happened to your leg?”
Cate smiled and shrugged, “Oh, that is nothing.” She answered and started limping towards the door, but was stopped when Sandra walked and blocked her way out.
“What happened?” The brunette asked as she stood in front of the blonde, blocking her way.
“I told you it’s nothing.”
Sandra crossed her arms against her chest, “Really?”
“Yes, really. It really is — ouch! Why did you kick me?”
“You said it’s nothing.”
“Fine.” The blonde gulped, “A small incident and this happened.”
Sandra paused, walked towards a cabinet and grabbed her kit before she went back to the blonde. It felt a little bit awkward to be in the same room with the woman she once had, but she was a doctor and Cate was not just her ex, but a patient.
“Let’s have you examined through an x-ray. We have to make sure you didn’t break your bone and after we can get you treated.”
“Just…” The nervousness was apparent and Sandra didn’t have to ask her why because she knew her too well; she’s afraid of hospital machines and injections.
“I’ll be here.” She gave her an assurance, “I’ll hold your hand.”
Cate looked at her. Her eyes – full of cheerless shadows and fog -Â mirrored Sandra’s. There was a silent longing and a raging fear trapped inside her and as they were staring at each other, it was like they were back to breaking hearts again.
“Don’t leave.” Cate didn’t mean to sound like she was begging, but the soft flow of agony on her voice made it look like she was, but wasn’t she?, “Stay…”
Sandra froze. Those were the same words Cate told her on the night she ended everything. She could stay. She could have stayed, but she didn’t. They were two beating hearts, yet she chose to pick the other and stabbed it until it bleed no more. The loud sirens were raging inside Sandra’s ears, and all she saw was the face of Cate begging and crying in front of her. People told tales that love was the most beautiful thing one could ever feel, but why did she end up lighting up Cate’s heart on fire? She burned the blonde’s town, leavingCate half empty, half dead. Yet, the blonde loved her when there was nothing else left to be loved anymore, not her ghosts, nor her shadow.
The brunette shook her head, trying to shoo away the memories, “I’ll be beside you.” She spoke quickly, “It’ll be quick.”
There were no words said. Sandra took Cate to do her x-ray and found out that the blonde had fractured a bone. She guided the blonde towards her office and treated her foot, silently. They were just a meter apart and every wrap of the bandage and every touch of Sandra’s fingertips to Cate’s skin was a torture. The blonde wanted to speak, but what would she say? On the other hand, Sandra kept her silence and just went on to treat her patient’s foot, but despite the coolness and the hard wall that she was portraying, beneath her mask was the thousand silent screams coming from her inside.
That woman that she was bandaging, that same woman she dreaded herself seeing was the same woman who believed that she would make it – that she would become a doctor. And now, there they were – she, as a medical doctor treating the woman who believed she could make it. It was a battle between herself, for she so badly wanted to speak to her as friends, but how could she when Cate wasn’t just a friend to her? She broke Cate’s heart and it was so ironic because her profession was meant to mend things, not break it.
“Done.” Sandra exclaimed as she slowly put down Cate’s foot on the floor, “I’ll have one of my nurses check on you from time to time. I will give you her number and I’ll give your number to her as well. She will monitor your foot, call you and ask you. If you feel anything, call this number.” She finished, handing Cate a piece of paper.
The blonde looked at the paper before she looked up to meet Sandra’s eyes, “Why would I have a nurse checked on my foot when I can have you?” Cate drew a smile as she took the piece of paper from Sandra’s hand and tore it in front of her face before she got up, “I didn’t change my number and I got your new number. Call me and I’ll call you, doctor.”
Sandra got up, “Wait. I mean, where did you get my number?”
“Baby…” God, it sounded so good, Cate smiled, “I have connections. Thanks for treating my leg, doctor.” The blonde added as she limped her way back to face the brunette, “And I want you to know that it feels really good to call you a doctor. I’m proud of you.” Sandra sure saw the glitters on Cate’s eyes, and just before she was about to reply, Cate slowly dipped her head to press a soft and a gentle kiss on her lips, “I’ll see you soon.”
And out Cate was. Sandra was left standing inside her office as she watched her ex-girlfriend graciously limping her way out. The kiss was quick and soft and she found herself delicately touching her lips, suddenly craving for more.
***
Comment