Warning: female Vincent and a very dumb Rody
Vanessa Charbonneau had always been the center of attention-at least, in every room that wasn’t occupied by Rody Lamoree. In their shared college, she had long since resigned herself to the idea that every other guy would either openly flirt with her or pretend not to notice her while stealing glances. It was part of the package of being, well, her.
But Rody? Rody was… different. Not in the “sensitive guy with deep thoughts” way that some of the art majors tried to pass off as mysterious. No, Rody was actually, *genuinely* oblivious. And, much to her frustration, it only made her like him more. She had no idea why. Maybe it was because he wasn’t drooling over her like everyone else. Or maybe it was because he was just, well, Rody-a lovable mess, always showing up late, half-awake, and still managing to crack a joke that made her smile despite herself.
The problem? He had *no idea* how she felt.
Vanessa wasn’t subtle by nature. She was known for her confidence, her presence. So, when she realized she liked Rody-a guy who could barely remember to bring a pen to class, let alone pick up on signals-it was both exhilarating and deeply annoying.
And thus began her mission: *Operation Attract Rody*.
—
The first day of her plan started simple. She slipped into her tight red blouse, the kind that hugged her curves perfectly without crossing into ‘desperate’ territory. It was classy, but undeniably eye-catching. The moment she walked into their political science class, she felt every eye in the room on her.
Except for Rody’s, of course.
He was hunched over his desk, furiously scribbling notes as if the world outside didn’t exist. Vanessa had to resist the urge to roll her eyes. How could he *not* notice? She made her way to her seat, her heels clicking softly on the floor, and as she passed by him, she flipped her hair over her shoulder, a subtle move designed to catch his attention. She sat down, feeling the tightness of the blouse as she crossed her legs and leaned back in her chair.
And still, nothing. Rody was staring down at his notebook, brow furrowed in concentration, probably struggling to understand what the professor had just said.
Vanessa narrowed her eyes. “Hey, Rody,” she said, her voice soft but sharp enough to break through the silent room.
Rody blinked, finally looking up, his green eyes meeting hers for a brief second. “Oh, hey, Vanessa,” he said, smiling lazily before looking back down at his notes.
That was it. Just a smile and back to his notes.
Vanessa clenched her teeth. Was he *serious*? That blouse had worked on literally *everyone else*, but apparently, Rody was immune to all forms of obvious signals.
—
On the second day, Vanessa decided to step it up a notch. Subtlety clearly wasn’t working, so she decided to be more… direct. She wore a leather jacket with a crop top underneath, paired with jeans that hugged her hips just right. She figured it was the kind of look that couldn’t be ignored. It had to catch his attention.
She strutted into class with her head held high, walking directly past Rody’s desk with purpose, and sat down in the seat right in front of him this time. There was *no way* he could miss her.
“Morning, Rody,” she greeted, letting her voice drip with just the right amount of flirtation.
Rody looked up from his phone, blinking. “Oh, hey, Vanessa! Morning,” he said, flashing that same clueless grin.
She waited. Any second now, he’d say something. Compliment her outfit, or *anything*.
But he didn’t.
Instead, he scratched his head, looking like he was trying to remember something. “You wouldn’t happen to have an extra pen, would you? I think I forgot mine again.”
Vanessa blinked. *A pen*. That’s what he noticed? Not the crop top, not the way she was sitting right in front of him, just… a pen.
She forced a smile, pulling one out of her bag and handing it to him. “Sure, Rody,” she said, trying not to let the irritation seep into her voice. “Here you go.”
“Thanks! You’re a lifesaver,” he said, his grin widening.
And that was it. He went back to his notebook, scribbling away like she didn’t exist. Vanessa slumped in her seat, resisting the urge to bang her head against the desk. How could anyone be *this* dense?
—
By Thursday, Vanessa was desperate. She was determined to crack the Rody code, even if it killed her. This time, she pulled out the big guns: the tightest, most flattering dress she owned. It was a sleek black number that clung to her body in all the right places. It was the kind of dress that had turned heads at every party she’d ever been to. If this didn’t get his attention, nothing would.
She walked into class, feeling the familiar rush of eyes following her every move. She knew she looked good-no, she looked *amazing*. As she took her seat, she made sure to sit in his direct line of sight again. She shifted slightly, leaning forward just enough for the neckline to dip a little lower.
And Rody?
Late. Of course.
Vanessa checked the clock. Five minutes past the start of class, and he still wasn’t here. She tapped her foot impatiently, wondering how someone could consistently show up late and still pass any classes at all.
Finally, Rody came stumbling into the room, looking disheveled and out of breath, his hair a mess and his shirt wrinkled like he’d pulled it from the bottom of a laundry basket. He barely glanced around before making a beeline to his seat.
Vanessa watched him, her eyes narrowing. He hadn’t even *looked* at her. She could be wearing a clown costume for all he cared.
“Rody,” she called out, her voice sharper than intended.
He froze in his seat, looking up at her with wide, surprised eyes. “Oh, hey, Vanessa! What’s up?”
Vanessa sighed, leaning back in her chair. She needed to stay calm, to not let him see how frustrated she was. “You’re late,” she said, crossing her arms and raising an eyebrow.
Rody scratched the back of his head, looking sheepish. “Yeah, sorry about that. I was pulling a double shift at the diner, and time just kinda… got away from me.”
Vanessa stared at him, half-expecting him to notice the effort she’d put into her appearance. But instead, he just sat there, blinking, waiting for her to respond.
“Uh-huh,” she said slowly, feeling her patience slipping. “You should try being on time. You might… miss something important.”
Rody nodded, completely oblivious to the suggestive undertones in her voice. “Yeah, I’ll try to set an alarm next time.”
Vanessa fought the urge to scream.
—
By the end of the week, Vanessa was at her wit’s end. She had tried everything-flattering clothes, casual flirtation, subtle hints, even sitting directly in front of him, and still, nothing had worked. Rody just… *didn’t get it*.
She found herself sitting in the campus café with her best friend Sophie, who was trying (and failing) to suppress her laughter.
“So… let me get this straight,” Sophie said, biting back a smile. “You’ve been wearing these killer outfits all week, and Rody hasn’t noticed *once*?”
Vanessa groaned, slumping in her chair. “Nope. Not even a little. The guy is completely clueless. It’s like he’s living in his own little world.”
Sophie giggled, taking a sip of her coffee. “Maybe he’s just not into fashion.”
Vanessa narrowed her eyes. “It’s not about fashion, Sophie. It’s about basic human observation. I could be wearing a *neon sign* that says ‘Look at me,’ and he’d still ask for a pen.”
“Sounds like Rody,” Sophie mused, smiling. “He’s… special.”
“Special,” Vanessa muttered. “That’s one way to put it.”
Sophie leaned forward, resting her chin on her hand. “You know, maybe you should just ask him out. Be direct. You’ve tried the whole ‘attract him with clothing’ thing, and clearly, that’s not working.”
Vanessa rolled her eyes. “You think I haven’t thought about that? I’m trying to *not* come off as desperate.”
Sophie raised an eyebrow. “Desperate? You? Vanessa, you’re the least desperate person I know. And besides, it’s Rody. He probably thinks you’re being friendly, not flirty. You might as well spell it out for him.”
Vanessa sighed. “Maybe you’re right. Maybe I just need to-“
She stopped mid-sentence, her eyes catching sight of Rody walking into the café, looking as distracted as ever. He waved when he spotted her, making his way over to their table.
“Hey, Vanessa! Sophie!” he greeted, smiling that same clueless smile.
“Hey, Rody,” Vanessa said, forcing a smile. “What’s up?”
Rody shrugged. “Not much. Just finished my shift at the diner. Thought I’d grab some coffee before heading home.”
Sophie smirked, nudging Vanessa under the table. Vanessa shot her a warning glance, but Sophie just raised her eyebrows, silently egging her on. She could almost hear her friend’s internal monologue: *Come on, you can do this!*
Vanessa took a deep breath, steeling herself for what she was about to say. This was it. No more playing coy. She needed to be straightforward. “Rody,” she began, leaning forward slightly, her tone suddenly serious, “can I ask you something?”
Rody blinked, clearly caught off guard by the change in her demeanor. “Uh, sure. What’s up?”
“We’ve known each other for a while now, right?” she asked, her heart racing a little.
“Yeah, since, like, the first semester.” Rody nodded, his face scrunching up in thought. “You know, I sit next to you in three of our classes, right? Sometimes I even get confused and think I’m in the wrong one when you walk in!”
Vanessa resisted the urge to bury her face in her hands. *Why was he so adorably oblivious?* “Right, and we’ve hung out a lot, haven’t we?”
Rody’s face broke into a wide grin. “Yeah! We even worked on that group project together! Remember when I suggested we use, like, a pizza as a metaphor for… whatever it was we were studying?”
Vanessa chuckled despite herself, envisioning the wild gestures he’d made while describing the pizza metaphor. “Exactly. So, uh… I was thinking, maybe we could hang out… outside of class? You know, just the two of us.”
“Like… to study?” Rody asked, his brows knitting together in confusion.
“No, not just to study,” Vanessa insisted, frustration creeping into her voice. “Like… a date.”
“A date?” Rody repeated, blinking at her as if she’d just suggested they go to the moon. “You mean like… as friends?”
Vanessa fought back the urge to facepalm. “No, Rody! Not just friends! A *date.* Like, romantic.”
“Romantic?” he echoed, scratching his head as if trying to find the right answer in there somewhere. “But I thought you liked that guy from the frat? What was his name? Chaz? He’s super buff.”
Vanessa felt a hot flush creep up her neck. “What? No! I don’t like Chaz. I like *you*.”
Rody’s eyes widened, and his mouth hung open like he was about to say something monumental, but nothing came out. Instead, he just stared at her, clearly struggling to connect the dots.
“Oh,” he finally said, as if a lightbulb had flickered to life somewhere deep in his mind. “You mean you think I’m, like, super cool?”
“Not just cool! I mean, yes, you’re cool, but I want to date you, Rody! Like, I like you! As in, I have feelings for you!” Vanessa felt like she was shouting into a void.
Rody leaned back in his chair, his face still an adorable mix of confusion and surprise. “Whoa. So you really like me?”
“Yes!” Vanessa threw her hands up in exasperation. “How many times do I have to say it?”
Rody scratched his head again. “But I’m just… Rody. I don’t even have a six-pack. I mean, I can barely do one push-up without, like, straining something.”
Vanessa couldn’t help but chuckle. “Rody, I think you’re missing the point here.”
“Okay, okay! So, like, a date,” Rody said, leaning forward, suddenly excited. “Should I bring, like, pizza or something? I’m really good at ordering from that one place that has all the toppings. They have, like, this super spicy pepperoni-“
“No pizza!” Vanessa exclaimed, trying not to laugh at how endearingly clueless he was. “We can go out for dinner, maybe somewhere nice?”
Rody nodded, looking serious now. “Right, nice place. I can Google ‘nice places’ and make a reservation. Do I need to wear a tie? I don’t have a tie. I think I have a bowtie somewhere, but it’s, like, a cartoon one with superheroes on it. Is that okay?”
Vanessa laughed, shaking her head. “A bowtie sounds perfect, Rody. Just be yourself.”
“Okay, okay! I got this,” he said, his face lighting up again. “I’ll make it super special. Just let me know when and where to pick you up!”
“Yes, I will definitely text you,” she replied, feeling a wave of relief wash over her. Maybe this wouldn’t be so hard after all.
As Rody got up to leave, waving goodbye, Sophie leaned over, a smirk plastered across her face. “Wow, Vanessa, you really cracked the Rody code. I’m impressed. This is a major milestone.”
“Seriously, it was like pulling teeth,” Vanessa said, watching Rody walk out of the café, oblivious to the fact that he’d just scored a date with the most desired girl on campus. “I can’t believe he didn’t understand until I practically yelled at him.”
Sophie burst into laughter. “Hey, you’re lucky. Most guys would’ve taken a *hint* and run with it. He’s so clueless, he might think a ‘fancy date’ is a trip to the local taco truck!”
Vanessa rolled her eyes but couldn’t help smiling. “At least he’s sweet and funny. And he’s definitely not like those other guys who just want to gawk at me.”
“True, but he’s still *really* dumb,” Sophie pointed out, leaning back in her chair. “You’re going to have to walk him through everything.”
“Yeah, well, he’s also cute in his own way. I’ll just have to put up with his… unique logic,” Vanessa said, shaking her head with amusement.
“Oh, this is going to be fun to watch!” Sophie said, grinning from ear to ear.
Vanessa smiled back, already looking forward to their first date. If Rody was this oblivious now, she could only imagine the ridiculous adventures that awaited them.
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