Life for Jisung was going down the drain at a faster pace than usual. It had been pretty rough since his early teens, but the older he got, the harder it seemed to become. It felt like his depression and his anxiety were taking over him completely and that he was losing his footing in life. It was as if he was losing everyone around him and he was standing in his own way of stopping it from happening.
He sighed as he tossed around in his bed once again. Turning to his alarm clock, he noticed it was already four a.m. He would soon have to get up to get ready for school. Was it even worth it? The pressure to look after himself as well as his drunk father were in the way of him performing well, his grades falling faster than ever before. He wished he could just focus on creating music, putting his feelings into it and letting all his thoughts go. For some reason though, he just couldn’t. He wanted to, but at the same time he felt like doing nothing. He didn’t want to do anything. Anything seemed like it would take too much effort and energy, and he didn’t know if he had any of it left to spare.
In the end, Jisung didn’t get any sleep that night. He got up at seven to take a quick cold shower. He got dressed in his usual all black outfit and went down the stairs, but not before quickly checking to see if his father was sleeping in his bedroom. When he opened the door, the faint smell of alcohol lingered in the air. Anyone else would have cringed at the smell, but for Jisung it wasn’t any different from any other day. He hated how he was used to it. His father was sprawled out on top of his bedsheets, obviously asleep from the loud snores that emitted from his mouth. He must’ve been too passed out to be able to change into his pyjamas and get under the blanket, as Jisung remembered the outfit to be the same as last night’s. The boy quickly took off his dad’s jeans and put the blanket over his body, tucking him in slightly. He smiled sadly at his father before he turned to leave the room. He closed the door and made his way down the stairs, preparing his lunch for the day. He never ate breakfast, he usually used that time to clean up the living room as much as he could. This morning was no different. The beer cans were laying all over the floor, pizza box from last night still on the couch. Jisung scrunched his nose, wishing he had time to get the vacuum cleaner and take the crumbs off of the couch and the floor. However, he sadly didn’t have that luxury as he was already running thin on time.
“Should’ve gotten up at 5.” He mumbled to himself as he shoved the one sandwich into his backpack. It would have to do. Maybe if he looked at Changbin with puppy eyes, he’d get some of his lunch. His Hyung couldn’t resist those eyes, after all. Jisung didn’t take into account that it was because he was starting to look thinner than ever, his best friend just being worried for him.
As he locked the door behind him, making sure his dad wouldn’t leave the house and get into his car for some dumb reason, he made his way to school. Jisung didn’t like to admit it, but he was always afraid he’d get another call from the police, telling him his father had also passed away. Even though his father made him take care of the both of them as well as have him be the breadwinner of the family, Jisung couldn’t hate his dad. He wasn’t a bad man. He was a man that made bad decisions. And could Jisung really blame him? Maybe if his dad had kept sane, he would’ve been the one to venture off onto a beaten path.
After 15 minutes of walking, Jisung finally made it to school. It was 5 minutes before the first bell rang, which made him perfectly on time. He went to his locker where Changbin was already waiting for him, like every morning. Jisung waved at his friend before moving up to join him.
“Good morning sunshine, how’d you sleep?” His best friend started with a small smile. He knew of Jisung’s home situation, so he’d always do his best to keep updated as much as possible. If he didn’t ask, Jisung wouldn’t tell him. However, Jisung almost never lied to him so when he did ask, he would always get the full story.
“Like shit. It’s fine though, I’ll try to nap in Mr. Choi’s class.”
“Yeah, that must work, he doesn’t bother looking at us, he knows we’re good kids.”
Jisung snorted a laugh as he closed his locker. “Good kids? We’re mediocre at best.”
“Better than being assholes.”
“Amen.”
The two made their way to the classroom and took their respective seats next to one another. They watched their classmates enter hurriedly, nearly being late as the bell was just about to ring. Jisung greeted Chan with a soft ‘morning’ when the older passed. Jisung considered Chan a friend,however he worried the older might not agree with that statement. Therefor, Jisung decided to not be as close with the latter, scared that he might get his feelings hurt if it was true that Chan secretly hated him. To avoid such things from happening, Jisung didn’t talk much with the friend that was just trying to look out for the younger boy.
“Alright class, listen up! Today, we have a transfer student starting here. Please make him feel at home. Would you like to introduce yourself?” The teacher entered the classroom whilst speakint, immediately making the class go quiet. The bell rang just as the new student walked in behind the teacher, signalling to the students that whoever entered after him, would be too late. Not that the teachers would care too much anyways, it was college, not high school. Jisung couldn’t supress his curiosity as he looked up and saw a boy with light brown hair standing at the front of the class.
Wow.
It was first thing and only thought Jisung had when he looked at the boy’s face.
“Hello, I am Lee Minho. I’m 20 years old and studying to be a performing arts major. I’m looking forwards to spending my time here with all of you!” He introduced himself and gave a small bow. Afterwards, he was given a seat and he made his way towards it. When passing Jisung, their eyes met and he gave the younger a warm smile.
Jisung was quite confused, to say the least. He never put effort into his look. Heck, he didn’t even brush his hair this morning. Furthermore, most students never really paid attention to Jisung except for when he was in his music class. He was really good at singing and rapping as well as writing songs. Together with Changbin, everyone in that class looked up to them and their talents. Jisung never seemed to notice that they were being put on a pedistole in music. He thought so little of himself, he could never notice those things. So why was this guy looking at him and giving him a smile warmer than the sahara desert? Jisung didn’t know. He was probably overthinking —like he always did, so he shook his head in an attempt to get rid of those thoughts.Changbin must’ve sensed the confused aura, because he looked at Jisung with a slight grin.
“Looks like we could make a new friend.”
“Hell no. I’m fine with just you.” Jisung quickly said under his breath. Imagining making a new friend already gave him anxiety. He didn’t understand how he had managed to become best friends with two social butterflies, but he was secretly a little thankful. They basically took care of all the planning if they were to hang out. All Jisung had to do, was show up and quietly enjoy himself.
“Oh come on, just let me do the talking at first. He seems nice. Plus, he seemed interested in you.”
“What?!” Jisung hissed under his breath. Someone interested? In him? No way. Changbin just chuckled as he rolled his eyes. “Not like that, princess. He seemed like he would vibe with you, on like… a friendly level.”
“Please don’t ever use the word ‘vibe’ that casually again.”
“I thought you would say that about ‘princess’, if I’m going to be honest.” Jisung’s cheeks flushed a light shade of pink, quickly averting his gaze back to the front of the class. “Whatever, lets focus on class before Mrs. Park beats our ass for talking more. I already saw her staring at us.” Jisung said, rolling his eyes at his friend. Changbin huffed, but did shut up.
As the third bell rang, the boys stood up and were about to leave the classroom, when they met the new kid ‘Minho’ at the door.
“Hey, I’m Changbin. I was wondering, if you didn’t have anyone to have lunch with, if you wanted to sit with me and Jisungie here?” Minho’s eyes seemed to light up slightly as he heard that. Cute, Jisung thought before mentally slapping himself for thinking that. He never thought those things so casually about anyone, he didn’t understand why it was happening when he looked at Minho. He hadn’t even known the boy existed until three hours prior and he had already thought ‘wow’ and ‘cute’ by just the mere sight of him. Jisung decided be was either in his mega gay feels or he was just delirious from being sleep deprived. He decided the latter seemed more realistic.
“I appreciate that. I indeed haven’t been asked by anyone yet. I was feeling quite nervous about it. I’m Minho, by the way.” Minho said and laughed a little. Jisung could feel the pit of worry forming in his stomach. Changbin really invited someone to eat lunch with them? Jisung couldn’t handle new people watching him eat, it made him uncomfortable. Call it dumb, but he felt like other people would see him as a pig who’d just shovel food into his mouth uncontrollably. His mind was already drifting to a far away land, before the boy realised Minho hadded asked him for his name.
“Han Jisung.” He managed to mumble out.
With regret and worry filling Jisung’s entire body, the three made their way to the cafeteria and sat down at the table Chan and Seungmin were seated. They were more Changbin’s friends than Jisung’s, however Jisung didn’t hate their company. They were nice guys, he was just too uncomfortable with the idea of letting more people into his life. He was too scared people would find out his father is an unstable alcoholic and that Jisung was keeping them alive by working 2 jobs. He’d be ashamed and embarrassed if they were to find out. So, he distanced himself a little much to everyone’s dissmay.
“Hey guys, this is Minho. He joined our school today. Hope you don’t mind him joining us for lunch?” Changbin said as the three of them sat down.
“Of course not! The more, the merrier!” Chan replied with a smile and the two boys introduced themselves to Minho.
They ate lunch as five and had a good time. Jisung though, couldn’t stop fidgeting nervously and not eating. He didn’t even bother getting his sandwich from his bag, feeling like it would only make everyone realise he wasn’t touching his food. It had taken him almost 3 weeks before he started eating in front of Chan and Seungmin, his dumb anxiety telling him not to over and over again. Changbin, being the most amazing best friend he is, took notice of Jisung’s behaviour and let out a small sigh. He wasn’t going to allow it to happen again. He shoved his lunchbox towards Jisung, giving the boy a stern, knowing look. It was filled with bibimbap. Changbin always brought more food than he could eat, knowing Jisung sometimes forgot his own. Knowing that, he kept an extra pair of chopsticks in his bag at all times so his best friend couldn’t deny the food. He reached into his bag and grabbed the aforementioned chopsticks and handed them to Jisung.
“Here, stupid.” He said and put the utensils inbetween Jisung’s hands. The younger looked up and almost turned white because he was so ashamed that Changbin had caught him again, in front of three other people as well. He knew Changbin didn’t mind and was just looking after him, but he couldn’t help but feel like he always let the older down. Surely, Binnie could find better friends right? Friends that he didn’t need to look after and baby all time time. Jisung must be annoying to be around, seeing as it was an endless cycle. Minho took notice of this action as well as Jisung’s reaction and if anyone had looked at him, they would’ve seen the look of worry on his face. Not only because Jisung didn’t have food for himself, he didn’t even really realise that at first, moreso because he thought Jisung and Changbin might be a ‘thing’. That would really bring a wrench in his plan, he almost regretted coming to Earth. Almost.
Jisung ate small bits whenever Minho wasn’t looking.
‘Can’t have him thinking I’m a pig on his first day.’ Was mostly what was running through Jisung’s mind, as he avoided Minho’s gazes as best as he could.
The rest of the day continued like normal. Boring classes with even more boring teachers. After the final bell rang, Jisung and the other four made their way over to the school gate after they had thrown their books into their respective lockers. They all seemed to share science, a side course all boys had taken to earn extra credit. That being their final class of the day, it was only logical they walked together. Jisung clung onto Changbin’s arm, earning more confusion from Minho. He let go of the thought for now as the group reached the school gate, watching the youngest of them all turn to them to say something.
“Do you guys want to hang out at my place? I got the new Smash Bros on the Switch today!” Seungmin asked. Whilst the other three boys excitingly agreed, Jisung had to decline. He couldn’t tell them he had to go to his 2 jobs back to back, so he just said he had promised his dad to help him clean the house. They bid each other goodbye, not before Changbin shot Jisung a sad, knowing smile.
“I’ll text you soon, okay Sungie?” He said as he engulfed the latter in a short hug. Jisung let go and nodded, giving Changbin his best acting smile. Even though he wasn’t as social, he didn’t like not being able to hang out with his friends. Yet, he would not let them see it affected him in the slightest, so he just started walking away before saying goodbye.
“Sure, bye Binnie, bye guys! Have fun!”
With that their ways parted, a somewhat jealous Minho going to Seungmin’s house with his new friends as Jisung made his way to work.
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Having written the next 6 chapters, I am honestly so excited for what’s to come.
One quick question tho.
I’m planning on adding ONE side ship. Comment on this to let me know which ship you want. I don’t really want it to be Changlix as I think that’s overdone. I’d prefer for it to not have Changbin in it at all. He is already a very dominant side character in the story so I’d like for two other members to get their shine. LE(MM)EKNOW <3
(You could also say Hyunsung so we can have some juicy drama)
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